Chapter eight: Quidditch and the last straw

"SIRIUS! WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU DOING!" Beal, the Gryffindor Quidditch captain shouted as Sirius once again missed a bludger that almost knocked Beal off his broom..

"Hey mate, you ok?" James asked as he flew his broom, The Quicksilver 70, over to the beater.

"Uh…yeah just a little…off today," Sirius said. What had happened was that Sirius was once again deep in thought about Remus, but this time it was not about his confession. It had been a week since he had talk to Lily and instead of getting over it he had been dwelling on it more and more.

Actually Sirius had been dwelling more and more on Remus in general. He found himself staring at him when ever he was around, wondering where he was and what he was doing when he wasn't around, and thinking about his ALL THE TIME!

Sirius was getting so confused. He didn't know why his best friend had taken over so much of his thoughts but he had.

"Well, make sure you get over it. We have a game tomorrow." James was saying. Sirius whirled his broom around.

"I can't GET OVER IT!" he yelled at his friend and took off; leaving James lost and highly confused.

With a loud growl of frustration Remus threw his quill across the table he was at in the library. He had been attempting to get through a transfiguration essay about Animagus but of course the stupid topic just spurred up thoughts, images and fantasies about Sirius.

"I really should just throw myself off the astronomy tower." He muttered.

"Now who would that help?" a voice said. Remus looked up and saw Sirius slam into a seat across from him. "On second thought, mind if I join you?"

"Why must you always try to outdo me? My death will hold no merit if you were to die too." Remus said looking at his friend concerned. Sirius gave a sadistic laugh.

"Yes sorry bout that Moon," he said sadly. Now Remus was really worried.

What was up with him?

"Sirius why are you here?"

"Oh thanks mate, love ya too," he said and inwardly flinched at his choice of words.

"You know I didn't mean it that way. Shouldn't you be at Quidditch practice?" all this got him was a pained groan.

"It going that bad?" he asked. Sirius took a deep breath.

"I dunno what's wrong with me. I can't concentrate."

"What do you mean what's wrong with you? You've never been able to concentrate." Remus laughed dryly. He knew it was a stupid ploy but he was beginning to feel very uncomfortable. He swallowed hard at the look of extreme sadness filled Sirius's dark eyes.

"I wish that were it. I'll see you later Remus," he said and got up.

"Sirius! Wait! I understand and I just wanna say whoever it is…their really lucky," Sirius was a little confused but thought better about replying and just nodded and left.

"Ok Sirius, no more messing around. You have been acting all wonky for two weeks now and after your freak out during practice I think its time you explain." James told his best friend. He had had just about enough of his friend's odd behavior.

He had seemed normal the week after Halloween but then he started acting really weird. James had just taken it as depression that the holiday was over and that they were in fact back in school.

But that excuse could only last for so long. So he thought that Sirius was now upset about the fast approaching winter break and that he would have to see his family. That excuse soon died when he noticed Sirius had signed up for staying at Hogwarts.

He then thought it best to let his friend come to him. Well that tactic wasn't going so well and now that Quidditch was involved …well that was the last straw. He had to do something. And that something was making the boy tell him everything.

"Trust me James, You do not want to know," Sirius said form under his pillow. It was about dinner time but he didn't feel like going, he wanted to be alone but apparently James didn't seem to be allowing that to happen.

"Yes I bloody well do! So spill or else," he threatened. Had it been any other time Sirius would have taken the challenge that the threat had offered and had it been any other time he would've known that James was just bluffing. But he could hear that James was deadly serious and was going to stop at nothing to find out what was up.

"Fine, but you asked for it." Sirius muttered sitting up and wrapping his arms around the pillow that had been on his face. James smirked smugly and sat cross-legged on the end of his bed that was caddy-corner to Sirius's.

"It's about Remus," he started softly, oh Merlin how was he going to explain? Sirius took a deep breath there's nothing to do but to do it, and plunged it the story about the Halloween party.

"And that's what I was asking Lily about. I mean come on, Prongs. I didn't know what to do. I mean Moony was in love with me. Me! And we we're friends and we're both boys. Boys like girls. Or at least most boys. But its not that I care that Moony's a poof or anything it's just…it me you know. I didn't know how to handle it.

And you sadistic little girlfriend told me to get over it. And I very well could not. I don't know why but he's now in my thoughts more than ever. This last week it hasn't even been about his confession it's just him.

Every time I am near him I wanna know what he's thinking and when he's not there I wanna know where he is and what he's doing. I want to know what he was like as a child. I wanna know what he was like before he got bit, what was his favorite toy, what's his favorite color. I wanna know why he likes chocolate so much and how he can read none stop. And how on earth does he read and hold a conversation. (It's odd I tell you)

I want to know deep stuff too. Like what he would do when he left Hogwarts if he could do anything. But most of all I just wanna know what he sees in me. I wanna know everything about him and even then I doubt that would be enough.

All I do is think about him. All I do is staring at him. Merlin Prongs I even dream about him. I am going bonkers. I think I am barkin' mad and you should just send me to St. Mungo's and be done with It." he said taking a deep breath and sitting back on his bed. Through out his constant Remus- obsessive talk he had began to pace.

"So that's what's been going on?" James asked blankly. Sirius nodded.

"You've been driving yourself mental because Moony loves you," again Sirius nodded.

"And now your obsessed with him and you don't know why?" once again this was confirmed by a nod from Sirius. James stared at him for another minute or so then began shrieking with laughter.

"That-that's….what Th-this…is….all a-a-about!" he shouted through his laughter. But one look at the withering glare from Sirius caused him to sober up almost immediately.

"Yes…and?" Sirius asked angry that his friend would take his problems so lightly.

"Well, it's just not like you to get so upset by someone being in love with you," James said.

"Yes but this isn't like those school-girl crushes from my fan club…this is Moony! He's my friend…our friend. It's different." Sirius stressed trying to get James to understand that the situation was indeed much more serious than that.

"I just don't see the problem here. I mean Remus is a good guy and he isn't going to let this ruin our friendship. If I'm right and I think I am he's probably liked you for ages and its never disrupted anything so why should it now? That is if you don't like him back…" James said leaving off. Sirius stared at him open-mouthed.

How could he make such an assumption? I am Sirius "-ly sexy" Black! I make girls faint into their cheerios every morning just by walking in. I've been with the hottest witches in this whole school. Everyone loves me.

But you don't care about them. You care about Remus. A small voice said bluntly and so subtly that Sirius almost went reeling backwards. Though it seemed so out of left field to him…he knew it was true.

James smirked widely as he saw realization hit the other boy.

"I think I do," Sirius said so softly James almost didn't hear him. "It seems so sudden though," his eyes still fixed on to his hands.

"No not really. If you think about it." James pointed out. Sirius looked up at him bewildered.

"What? How do you figure?"

"Well, you've always seemed to have a different sort of relationship with Remus. I mean, only you can get his nose from a book, you were the first to find out about his 'furry little problem', the first to come up with a solution, you're always the first to approach him and all those sexual innuendos. Really, you have always been kind of obsessed with him. I guess when he told you he loved you, you were able to…I dunno …explore (?) Your feelings for him." James said.

Sirius looked at him. All that was true. He had always felt a bond with Remus. One that he couldn't explain. He had told himself that it was just a canine thing (he had been too young in their first few years at Hogwarts to really think much about the strange connection) but even that seemed to just be evidence that he and Remus were meant to be.

Was it by coincidence that he his Animagus form was a dog, or was it fate? He had always been the first to the shack for the transformations, and the last one to leave his hospital bed the next morning. He had always felt a strange protectiveness over Remus…or was it possessiveness? Sirius had to wonder. Was that what he had felt when he smelt Remus's scent coming off of Snape's cauldron in Potions all those weeks ago?

It had to be. All of this led to one thing. Sirius Black was in love with one of his best mates. One of his best male mates.

"I'm a poof!" Sirius cried.

"No you're just in love with Remus who just happens to be male." James said wisely. Sirius's eyes widened.

"Your right, on both accounts. And in that case I think that I am in love with Remus." He said loudly. James chuckled.

"Good for you, Mate" he grinned. "And besides Remus is pretty enough to be female anyway." He dodged the pillow tossed at him by Sirius.

"Hey! That's the man I love your talking about!" He laughed. "That felt weird to say but on the other hand so…right and …freeing..." James couldn't help but laugh at his friend who was grinning like an idiot.

"Could you be anymore cheesy? Maybe you are a poof." James asked. And let out a squeak of surprise as the other boy tackled him. The pair wrestled for a while. Laughing.

It feels good to laugh again Sirius thought. Then another thought came to the front of his mind. Sirius stopped his tickle-attack on James (yes, a tickle-attack. Very childish but hey their boys and tickling is a very effective torture device).

James quickly began to gulp air. The attack had left him rather breathless. Sirius got off him and sat on the bed next to him.

"What's up?" James's asked once he had caught his breath. "Padfoot?" he asked when Sirius didn't say anything.

"What do I do now?" he asked. His voice heavy with emotion. James thought that it was fear. He knew how insecure Sirius was. (Yeah yeah I know you think I'm mental but its true! he's afraid he'll end up like his family so he lets very few people get really close to him. and to be in love with a person…well that's the closet anyone could get to anyone else,)

James decided to play it off lightly.

"Well you could tell him Pads." He said.

"How?" Sirius whined rather pathetically placing his head in his hands. "What if Moony don't want me? He won't be that easy to get! What if I make a fool of myself? In front of people?"

"Ah..." James said. He knew that Moony would most likely want to be with Sirius as well. But James also knew and, agreed with Sirius on, that it would take more work then just telling him his feelings for Sirius to get Remus. There had to be more and it had to be private (seeing as Moony is a very private person…see the connection there? Huh, huh?)

The two boys sat in silence putting there teen sex symbol/ hardcore trouble-making prankster Marauder brains to work. By the time the other two occupants of the room showed up for bed the pair had formulated a plan.

"That game was AWSOME!" James shouted at lunch the next day. Gryffindor had offered Slytherin a handsome beating. Final score; Slytherin: 20, Gryffindor: 170.

James hadn't stopped smiling since. And seeing as it was a major win and made her boyfriend exceptionally happy, Lily allowed the talk. She had granted them a whole day of Quidditch talk and the boys were taking advantage of it.

Or at least Peter and James were. Remus was feign interest and smiling politely but hadn't contributed at all. And Sirius, like he had done most the game, was watching Remus.

"I swear its tradition. As long as Quidditch is played there will always be a Potter beating a Malfoy," James was declaring. Referring to his amazing snatch of the snitch from under the 7th year Slytherin seeker's nose.

Lucius Malfoy was a fairly decent player but all the Gryffindors believed his father bought him onto the team. You see Lucius's father was a very powerful and rich man in the wizarding world.

This rumor also circulated around due to the fact that all of Slytherin's other players were ten foot tall trolls where as he was a nice 5'10 and had a long slim physique that contrasted to his teammate's stockier build. He was also an astonishing pretty boy (especially for being a Slytherin,) and amazingly seemed to care nothing for the house rivalries.

Lucius Malfoy only cared about power and there was no power to be had through arguing with and cursing the Gryffindors. In fact Lucius had many sexual partners form all houses (male and female) though every one knew he had an arranged marriage to Narcissa Black, Sirius's cousin.

Remus had at one time allowed himself to entertain a little crush over the beautiful blonde boy after a run-in with him under the mistletoe (which turned out to be a prank by Snape. He had cast a love spell on Remus so that the first one he saw he'd fall in love with. Yes love spells are illegal but this is Snape we're talking about. But the effects were rather weak. Whether it was the distance at which the spell was cast or Remus's werewolf strength he didn't know.) But that had been years ago and now he felt nothing in anyway about the older boy.

"Preferitibly, a seeker," James was saying in regards to his and Lily's future son who would one day also trump a Malfoy in Quidditch.