A/N: I don't own it. I don't own any of it. But I do own a really awesome pair of backless Adidas shoes.

And we did go back. We went back together. The unspoken bond between the two of us, seemingly growing stronger every day.

We, along with many members of the Order, were staying at Grimmauld Place, even though Harry still refused to enter through its doors. He didn't have a problem with other people staying there. After all, it was the perfect place for operations.

Fred was at my side when I woke in the early morning of our first night's stay. His fiery red hair was hanging in his wide brown eyes which were steadily focused on me. Hair and eyes that were so much like Ron's. It was strange, really, it was almost like Ron had sent me Fred. He was by no means anything like Ron, but he just seemed to be everything I needed. And he was slowly becoming everything I longed for.

I know it was stupid. Here we all were, fighting for our lives and the lives of ...everyone. And I was worried about the developing feelings I had for my ...well, my dead fiancé's brother. Surely my life had become a muggle soap opera; that'd explain a lot, actually.

Fred broke my train of thought when he began to speak, "Are you just gonna stare at me all morning?"

I smiled a bit and replied, "Are you just gonna sit on my bed all morning? What are you doing in here anyway?"

I saw a hint of color rise in the pale skin of his cheeks. "I couldn't sleep, so I came in here. I didn't want to be alone any longer."

I didn't want to be alone any longer.

Was there more to that statement than there seemed?

I reached out to him and grabbed his hand. "What time is it?" I questioned.

"Nearly five," he answered bashfully, "I really hadn't meant to wake you up."

I shook my head and simply replied, "C'mere.' as I tugged him down into a laying position on the bed. I felt his body stiffen the moment I did so. I chuckled, "Fred, don't be ridiculous. I don't want to be alone either. Let's just get some sleep, eh?"

He smiled gratefully at me and wasted no time in finding a comfortable position. He still hadn't let go of my hand. So we fell asleep like that, for a few hours. Beside each other, holding each other's hand. Yet I knew we were connected in more ways than that.

I should've seen it coming, really. I'm not usually such a foolish girl. I told him that day on his bed. I told him I was scared of losing another person close to me.

I know that's why he avoided telling me about his mission as long as he did. He didn't want to cause me any further pain. I was grateful for this, yet I hated him for it. Maybe the hatred was just me pushing him away; pushing him away before someone could take him from me. That way it wouldn't hurt so badly. It's odd, the lies one tells themselves to get to sleep at night.

But who was I kidding? I couldn't sleep without him by my side any longer.

It had been five weeks since he first came into my room that morning. Every night after that, we'd each go to our respective rooms, only one of us would always end up in the other's. It wasn't that we didn't want to be alone anymore, we simply couldn't handle being by ourselves. We both knew too well how our minds would wander while alone. We were each other's distraction.

And it wasn't long before we were desperate to come up with new ways to distract each other. Yes, that kind of distraction. I honestly don't know what Ron would've said, had he ever found out to what depths of despair I was traveling. It wasn't that I didn't care for Fred. He just wasn't Ron. And that's all that mattered, in the beginning anyway.

It was all too easy to let my eyes drift out of focus and that hair... that brilliantly red hair became that of my Ron's. I only allowed myself to live that lie one time. I knew it would be disastrous otherwise, not to mention completely unfair to Fred. So I began looking for reasons to love him. I should've known it, too, would end in misfortune. After all, there was nothing pointing to any other kind of ending.

I loved the way the freckles on his nose got lighter when he was fibbing. I loved the way he looked when he first woke up in the morning and smiled at me from across the bed. I loved the way he could light up a room by simply entering it. I loved the piercing in the lobe of his left ear. I loved that he refused to tell me why he had gotten the piercing in the first place. I loved the way he would still tease me about looking like Shirley Temple, even though I'd long since magicked my hair into a less curly style. I loved that he insisted on wearing his old, green dragon-hide suit coat whenever he left the house. I loved that he still got a kick out of leaving prank wands around the house, for unsuspecting members of the Order to happen upon. I loved that he could, even after all we'd been through, make me laugh.

He told me halfway through breakfast that fateful day. He later told me he had wanted to wait until I'd finished eating, but the expression on his face had given him away. I asked him what was wrong. For some reason I hadn't expected the worst. I guess I must've gotten used to our daily routine. So used to it that I couldn't imagine things could possibly change. Apparently denial had become a rather large part of my daily routine.

He swallowed hard on his last bite of scrambled eggs, and for a moment I was worried he was going to choke. He took a quick swig of pumpkin juice and cleared his throat. "Listen, love, I've got something important to tell you."

My heart sank. I suddenly wished I hadn't eaten those eggs covered in ketchup. I knew this was going to be something I didn't want to hear.

"You know how it is; I can't tell you a lot of the details, for security reasons," he looked at me apologetically, "But, Harry's asked me to go with him on his next operation and I've agreed. It's time for me to do something to help avenge my family."

The only thing I could think was: What about me? But of course I didn't ask him that. I couldn't be that outwardly selfish. So I held my tongue. I did the only thing I could do, I nodded.

Apparently this wasn't quite the reaction he had expected from me and he was quick to question, "Hermione, are you all right?"

I put on my best fake smile and replied, "Of course, why wouldn't I..." my voice faltered, giving me away.

Fred was out of his chair and at my side within seconds, pulling me close to him. I wanted to struggle. I wanted to push him away. I wanted to yell and scream at him.

...I wanted him to stay with me, where he was safe.

Instead I cried. I felt weak. I felt useless. I felt... I felt like I would soon be all alone again. "Take me with you, Fred?' I pleaded in between sobs. "I could help, I know it. I... I could help..."

He shook his head as he scooped me up with his strong arms, carrying me up the stairs to my room. As we entered through the door I couldn't bear to look at him. I was a mess. I was always a mess. He set me gently on the bed and I turned away from him immediately, covering my face with my hands, letting myself sink into the folds of the blankets. He joined me on the bed, pulling me close to him. Somehow he knew being close to him was all I needed to feel better. But, if he knew this, why was he insisting on going away?

I scolded myself for thinking so childishly. I knew very well why he was going away, but it didn't make it any easier to accept. I didn't want him to go. There were a lot of things I didn't want. I didn't want Fred to remember me as some stupid blubbering girl. I took a shaky breath and asked as calmly as I could manage, "When do you leave?"

His grip tightened around my waist as he replied, "Midnight tonight."

I crumpled. No, I broke. I broke into a million pieces. I was shattered. Absolutely shattered.

Not even Fred's embrace could hold me together anymore. It was the second time within a year I wished I were dead. I know it wasn't very Gryffindor of me, but I was merely a shell of who I had been at school anyway.

"Hermione, love... I won't be gone that long, I promise. It should only be a week or so."

But I wasn't buying anything he was selling. I knew no good could come of him leaving with Harry on some secret excursion.

We stayed in my room all day. I couldn't find the willpower to make myself move and Fred stayed with me. He knew I was afraid of being alone; after all, he was afraid of being alone too. Time slipped by at a cruel rate, and in seemingly no time at all it was dark outside. Neither of us bothered to lighten the room. I was numb to the world outside my four bedroom walls. Everything I had grown to depend on was here, for now anyway. Not for long though. Nothing ever stays the same.

I cried for what must've been the fifteenth time that night when the I heard the clock in the hall chime, alerting the house it was a quarter to midnight.

He kissed my forehead and whispered, "I swear I didn't mean for it to feel like this..."

I gazed into his eyes, his face illuminated only by the moonlight and whispered back, "Neither did I, but this feeling is all that I've got. ...You're all that I've got."

He closed his eyes and once again brushed his lips against my forehead and replied in a hushed tone, "Forever and always, Hermione. Forever and always."

I summoned up all the courage I had and murmured, "Goodbye, Fred," between tears.

He rose from the bed, after untangling his body from mine, "I'll always love you, Hermione Granger." And with that he quietly left the room, closing the door behind him.

I felt like every inch of me was bruised. Hours passed, and I still counted the minutes that he wasn't with me.

A/N: Yeah, I borrowed and modified a couple lines from the Jack's Mannequin song "Bruised" for their conversation. It just seemed to fit.

I know the fic is rather depressing right now... I guess I can't really promise things will get any better. I thrive on angst. I apologize. Regardless, I hope you like the story thus far.

Oh, also... Please review? Make a poor girl happy :) Maybe reviews will convince me to be nicer to the characters? ...I'd say it's worth a shot. :)

My next update will be in a week or so. Possibly sooner if I get those reviews. ;)