Hikigaya Midori

Monday morning. The absolute worst day of the week and yet, I couldn't help but feel super relaxed? Rather than resisting, I've embraced this rare moment of clarity—feeling as if I'm able to do anything I set my mind to. Naturally, I took a quick shower and moved into the kitchen to cook breakfast for everyone.

The room was a bit chilly and my toes yearned for the warmth of the slippers I left upstairs. I turned on the stove and started making a few of the dishes that my mother used to make. Despite her techniques and recipes ingrained into me since I was a child, my skills have definitely become rusty. I couldn't manage slicing the green onions without nicking my finger like a total loser. Ouch.

Well, at least the miso soup tasted alright, to the standard that no one would complain about. At its side, I had some leftover porridge heating up nicely. I couldn't exactly make breakfast without taking last week's 'illness' into account. Smelt as great as porridge could and I actually looked forward to having some myself.

Oh? What's this I hear? Another early bird coming downstairs? Good, I could use another able body here. Just in time for them to help me set the table and I had a feeling it was the only other person in this house who knew the proper layout. Who else besides myself and the youngest had the drive to get up this early in the morning?

True enough, Komachi's tiny figure came into view with the fluffy cat in tow. Poor thing was rubbing her eyes out of exhaustion. She must have stayed up late into the night, playing with Ka-kun again. Silly girl, I told her not to overindulge in those sweets her father gave her.

"Morning kaa-chan," she said, stifling a yawn.

"Good morning yourself, dear," I replied, sighing in her direction. Komachi didn't seem to notice it though, as she took to burying her head in my shoulder.

Oof, super cute, but I totally felt the impact and nearly stumbled over. I still like to think of her as 'tiny', however, Komachi and I have been of similar height and weight for close to two months now. She has to know this much too, at least. You still have room to grow dear, so please be considerate before crashing down onto your poor mother, yeah?

Ah, we simply must stop babying her and by 'we', I mostly mean her obsessive father. "I know you're still tired, Komachi. Maybe some breakfast will wake you up, so help me set the table."

Like a good girl, she nodded her head and lifted herself off me to do as I said. Soon enough, we were digging into our share of the rice, miso soup, and other traditional sides that I prepared. Not bad, if I say so myself, and Komachi seemed to agree with the way she smiled at every sip and bite. Eat to your heart's content, little one, but be mindful of the two bottomless pits still resting upstairs.

As I bit into the salmon nori, Komachi got the idea to turn on the nearby television. Kind of a shame, I thought we'd be able to have a conversation this morning. But I guess this is what her generation preferred in lieu of talking. I hope she wasn't being influenced by her brother, the last thing this house needs is a third cynic—

"—Direct confirmation that a whopping total of fifty-eight alleged criminals were apprehended last night from across all the wards of Chiba. Sources tell us thirty of them were, again, taken down by the masked vigilante known as Huntsman."

"Fifty-eight?! That's absolutely ridiculous," I blurted out, almost spilling my bowl of rice in the process.

Komachi was taken aback by my sudden outburst, but could she really blame me? Not even ten seconds in and the television's already brought my entire mood down. Unbelievable. To think that thirty of these monsters would have gotten away if it weren't for that reckless man in the mask. Just what the hell is going on with this city?

"Kaa-chan, please, just look!" Komachi hurriedly stopped me from going off, pointing back towards the screen.

She said so with such excitement that I couldn't help but follow her line of sight. The news just announced last night's travesty, what was there to be happy about? From what I could tell, we were looking at surprisingly good quality footage of an alleyway's CCTV camera. Good enough to see everything despite the nighttime. Hmph, maybe our taxes are being put to good use—

My thoughts were stopped by a deafening shriek, shaking me to the core.

Oh God. A moment later, another blood curdling scream came from a young woman running barefoot, quickly tripping over herself by the entrance of the alleyway. A tall, burly figure stepped into view soon after, looming over her defenseless self. We could hear her cries from the camera footage, pleading for the man to stop. He didn't. He grabbed a fistful of her shoulder length hair and pressed her face against the pavement.

No way. I reached for the remote immediately but the little brat swiped it before I could even touch the damn thing.

"Komachi, turn it off, now," I demanded, glaring at the little missy.

"Uh uh," she replied, unfazed as her eyes were still glued to the television.

"Hah?! Have you lost your mind? A woman is about to be violated and you want to watch it?!" I yelled out, pissed off at the girl in front of me and at the news idiots who chose to air this, first thing in the morning! "Give me that, right now—"

"Woah!" Komachi jumped up in her seat, pointing at the television.

The poor woman's cries from the television were soon cut off by a sharp gust of wind. Hearing that was enough to stop me and turn back to the screen.

I didn't expect to see, what I assumed was a CCTV camera, suddenly flying itself straight towards the lecherous thug. Once within reach, a short, dark pair of legs outstretched from underneath the camera's point of view. They connected with the would-be rapist's backside, launching him forward onto the sidewalk with an audible crack. From the corner of the video, the lady had been freed and ran away from the scene as fast as she could.

What happened next was a jumbled mess, but I could tell that the cameraman had rushed over to the thug and got on top of him. The thug whimpered in fear, shrieking in pain at every punch his upper body was given. Despite this, the thug hadn't given up without a fight and landed a few hits back at his assailant, shaking the camera's point of view more than a few times. Eventually, the hero seemed to have had enough and bashed the thug's head like an angry gorilla.

The third bash with his gauntlet-covered fists produced a sickening crunch. Hero-san's fists had leveled the thug's already flat nose even further, knocking him out cold and giving him one hell of a nose bleed.

I took a sip of my tea, pleased that the… necessary violence finally ended. Weirdly enough, hero-san began wrapping the unconscious man with some kind of rope before dragging him back to a hidden spot in the alleyway. A few seconds after that, the video footage ended. Heh, who was this guy behind the camera? Some kind of action-cam, bounty-hunting, ape?

"—Again, what we just showed you was, according to our sources, footage recovered alongside one of the alleged criminals arrested last night. It is,—"

"Wow."

"Kaa-san, shh!"

"—with great reason, to say this video has provided us all with a first-person point of view of the Huntsman's nightly vigilante activities."

"Yeah, who else would it be?" I asked mockingly, trying to downplay the shock over what we just saw. Kami-sama, this is totally beyond unbelievable. So you're telling me this masked man is not just an idiot, but an idiot with a plan that's actually helping the police win cases? Better than him, like, messing things up instead, but what gives? Does this mean Chiba wouldn't have been able to handle itself all along?

"I have to admit, 'what a hero!' was my first reaction after seeing this footage, Junko-san. I'm sure many of our viewers at home feel the same, regardless of the violence he used to rescue that poor woman," the news anchor lady had added to the discussion, swooning like a bimbo.

"Teehee, as expected of the savior of Chiba!" Komachi giggled out.

Great, you too huh? Ahh, right, I almost forgot.

Yoink. I snatched the remote from my daughter's hands, giving her a frown. She seemed mildly surprised at this.

Hmph, seems I have to explain everything this morning. "Sure, that may have been quite a sight to see. However, the next time I tell you to do something, don't just give me an 'uh uh'. Got it?"

"Yeah... sorry kaa-chan," Komachi nodded, bopping her own head in submission.

"Right, right. Now go upstairs and get some rest, dear. Let your father know it's time to get up along the way," I told her, lifting the empty plates off the table to wash them. I was midway through lathering one plate with soap when I spotted Komachi fidgeting beside me.

"...Um, is this a test? I have school to go to, kaa-san," Komachi pointed out in her confusion.

My brows furrowed at being questioned again, but I let it slide since I was slightlymessing with the cute girl. The fault lies on me for putting this idea off the whole weekend. That news bit really, how they say, finalized my decision.

"No tests, no tricks. You're staying home today, Komachi. Rest of the week as well. I'll be calling your school shortly after I'm done washing up and see what needs to be arranged," I answered her truthfully.

"What?! How come?!" she cried out, quite loudly for a girl who looked like death not ten minutes ago.

After a quick rinse, I gave her my full attention. "It's quite simple. For the time being, I really don't think it's safe for you to be out there while this chaos is going on."

Upon realizing I was serious, she hastily jumped back in. "But kaa-san, I can't miss regular lessons or cram school now! My entrance exams—"

"—Will mean nothing if you get hurt, Komachi. I mean, we just saw a young woman placed in a terrible, disgusting situation. You can continue studying as much as you want here, where it's safe." I said, crossing my arms defensively. Surely she can understand why?

"...Kaa-san. That lady was alone and out at night—nothing even happened to her because she was rescued. School's during the day and I'm always with friends, so I'll be fine! Please, I can't skip out, I really need the help," Komachi pleaded, her hands clasped together in earnest.

Gah. How could I refuse a plea like that? Was I... overreacting? Maybe. "Maybe… no. No, I'm not leaving it to chance. I've had a few coworkers face trouble even during the day—"

"—Then you shouldn't be going outside either, kaa-san! But we all go anyway because it's important!" Komachi yelled desperately.

"That's not the same, I'm an adult with children in mind and you're one of them. I have the safety of your father and our coworker's carpool to rely on, the moment we both step out of here," I shakily argued back, placing my hands on the table as I towered over her. "Even the company has adjusted everyone's work hours to ensure we all get home as soon as possible."

"But I really do have my friends too… and this is the last time we get to be together before we separate. They're all smarter than me, kaa-san. I don't want to be left behind, I-I want to pass and get into my first choice too," Komachi barely got out, shrinking back down.

Ah, seeing her react that way makes me feel like a brute. Saying all that couldn't have been easy for her to admit. I closed the gap between us and enveloped Komachi in an embrace, knowing full well what would come next. Her surprise was obvious, even when I couldn't see her face. Not a moment later, however, she dug into my shoulder once more and broke into tears. Ah… my poor, ditzy, sweet Komachi.

"Now, now," I comforted her, carefully petting her head. "It's a little selfish to expect your friends to protect you when they're just as small and at risk as you, right?"

"...I-I guess. But you should stay too," she timidly argued.

"We want to, that's for sure. But your father and I still have to work because our wages are a necessity and we're already taking a cut at the moment with this mandated curfew," I explained to Komachi as she gets off of my shoulder, still clinging onto my arms. She looks at me earnestly with wet, upturned eyes.

"C-Compromise, right?" Komachi croaked out, finally smiling when I proudly nodded at her for using the word correctly. "So maybe I'm not meant to go to Sobu after all."

Geez, what a quick mood switch!

"No, you can do it! This doesn't mean you won't, like, get into your first choice, y'know? You can spend the entire day, everyday, studying for Sobu inside here—you have your 'Onii-chan' to rely on for sure!"

Komachi got off me right after I made the suggestion. She accepted the napkin I had in hand and rapidly blew her tiny nose. Oh? She doesn't seem thrilled about the idea, I guess they're still not on good terms.

"No, I don't. Nii-san's been sick and when he wasn't sick, he was always busy. I don't even see him anymore," she said, looking away from me.

Calling him 'Nii-san' now, eh? Aw and she's crossing her arms in a huff to show that she's serious. Good grief that's petty and cute..

"Well, whether he's still sick or not, he won't be going back to school either, nor will he have permission to go out. There you go, he'll have the entire week to help you with your studies and any homework the school keeps bringing over."

"No can do, kaa-san."

Hah?! I jolted at the sudden interruption, turning around to see a droopy-looking teenage boy. He seemed to be fresh out of the shower, but still dressed shabbily in his high school uniform. What's with the nerve of this kid, trudging into the kitchen like it's nobody's business? No consideration for his poor mother's heart so as to not sneak up on her? Imagine my shock. High schoolers—they never change.

Hmph. And why not? If Hachiman took care of himself, he wouldn't even look half as gloomy. I think he would be quite fetching and I'm not even saying that out of motherly obligation! He's very much the spitting image of his father at that age—and even that man managed to land himself with someone like me in the end.

Stupid boys and their… antics. Their nonchalant attitudes and insensitive choice of words. If you're going to look like your father, at least adopt your mother's personality, yeah? 'The seed is strong' their silly father loves to repeat that stupid phrase about his son's likeness. It was truly disappointing that neither my son nor daughter inherited my eye color. Hachiman's taking a bit too much after Goemon, especially now that he's scowling at me like I'm the crazy one.

Still, the ahoges that Hachiman and Komachi were born with? That work was all mine to claim. All the more reason to love them both as I do—it's a mark of eternal endearment, really. One that my family lineage will surely pass on until the end of time. You're an arrogant little boy if you think you won't have to do your part one day, Hachiman. Might as well give in and clean up nicely for a change. Practice finding a nice girl for that inevitable future.

Stranger things have happened, trust in mommy.

Hikigaya Hachiman

"Hachiman! Don't scare me like that!" Kaa-san yells at me.

Tch, not five seconds into the kitchen and I already got poked twice in the ribs. As if her manicured nails aren't the sharpest thing in this house. I'm just glad she didn't touch my torn side. She'd have fit if I started bleeding over the clean kitchen floors.

Whatever, I'm hungry. "Ah, my bad. Good morning by the way. Breakfast done? I'm heading out early—"

She ignored my question and stepped closer to feel my forehead with her hand. For what reason? I have no idea why.

"Hmm. I guess your fever's gone, that's good! But you're feeling well, right? Don't push yourself and take your medicine today, otherwise it could come creeping back," she advised, looking at me with deep concern. What? Why?

Oh, right. You're in the midst of lying to your own mother, Hachiman. Remember that much, at least. "Yeah, I've been feeling better since yesterday. Ready to go back to Sobu… is that nori-wrapped salmon—"

"—You're not going back to school, Hachiman. Like you heard, I'd rather you both stay here and study indoors for the rest of the week," Kaa-san cut me off, speaking with an air of finality.

"Well, like I said, no can do," I responded, grabbing a plate and sitting down to eat my share of the food.

Unsatisfied with my response, however, my mother lifted the plate away from my grasp and scowled at me.

Yeesh. Her emerald gaze pierced my very soul with deep skepticism. "And why not? Don't tell me you've suddenly developed a work ethic and love going to school now?"

How rude. I accomplished a lot this week, y'know? But no, of course she wouldn't know anything about that. Were kaa-san ever to find out what I've been up to, I have a feeling she'd go full on tiger mom and rip me a new one. I sighed, deciding to just come out with it. The truth and nothing but the truth.

That's right, mother! Shocking as it is, I'm—"I'm dangerously close to being over the limit of allowed absences this year. Anymore and I'll be taking more remedial classes than I can handle."

"What?! Really?" she snapped, her eyes bulged in shock.

"Yeah. Worst-case scenario, I'd have to repeat the year. Or so my sensei says," I finished, whipping out my phone and showing her a LINE message I got from none other than Hiratsuka-sensei.

As easily as she did with my food, kaa-san took my phone away, presumably to examine the contents of the message I received last night. Normally, any guy would be against the idea of his mother sifting through his private messages, but I had nothing to hide. Nothing in there, truth be told. Even all of the past embarrassingly long-winded texts that Hiratsuka-sensei occasionally sent have already been promptly deleted.

Don't worry, my mother won't think you're some desperate cradle-robber, fiending after her son, Hiratsuka-sensei. You should feel grateful, that is, if my memory serves right... and I did delete them.

Meh, I'm too busy scarfing down this delicious salmon and ignoring Komachi's look of disgust to care about anything else.

"Your sensei actually messages you updates about the school and classwork? What a modern, offhand approach…" kaa-san said after a moment.

I wasn't sure if she was more surprised that Hiratsuka-sensei did this or that I actually had a person message me on the device. Either way would have hurt me… were I to actually care about such things.

I fought off a slight wetness in my eyes and raised a brow at her, fully intending to pass this all off as nothing more than routine behavior for teachers nowadays. Again, you should feel grateful, sensei.

"Yeah, teachers at my school are pretty proactive," I explained, taking a swig of green tea. "Um, I guess that's what Komachi will have to get used to during next year. If she gets in, that is."

Suddenly the room got quiet and I felt a rise in temperature. It was as if two heated fans were blowing in my direction, causing me to fan my shirt back and forth. What's this? From the corner of my eye, I see my sister sporting a look of pure rage. Were her hands actually clenched into tiny, shaking fists? Wow and her killing intent towards me soared to the heavens and back. Quite harsh for someone so small—a sign that she was undeniably her mother's daughter.

Even kaa-san resented what I just said, it seems. I didn't even have to look in her direction. Years of discipline taught me to feel for the daggers in her eyes instead of looking right at them. I totally don't understand. Did I say something… wrong?

"That wasn't nice, Hachiman," kaa-san finally broke the ice. "Of course your sister will get into Sobu High, as you did. She's been working very hard."

Hook, line, and sinker.

I take another bite of my salmon before explaining myself. "I'm not talking about the entrance exam. I'm talking about how her latenesses in junior high will also be taken into account."

The tardy girl in question subdued her rage and gave out a confused "Huh?"

Tch, seems I have to explain everything this morning. "I remember you receiving a late notice last month. Wasn't that your third one this year? Not good. Sobu performs in-depth profile checks of all student applicants. Well, you'll probably scrape by if you pass the entrance exam and your attendance is on point from now on."

*crunch* Amazing. *munch*

"...However, if you take a week off, sans extenuating circumstances," I continue, "all your hard work will be for nothing."

With both of my factual bombshells out there, I take another swig of the cooled green tea. Super chilled and refreshing. Nothing could beat kaa-san's cooking and I had so much more to look forward to after the salmon! Miso soup, rice, natto, porridge, and eggs? Delicious.

Preparing myself a bowl of rice, I could see Komachi tugging at kaa-san's apron. Our mother clutched her head in exasperation. Poor woman was probably confuddled after I threw down all of these, admittedly exaggerated, facts.

"Kaa-san, please let me go. If what he's saying is true, then I don't have much time until I'll be late again," Komachi pleaded.

"Sorry, kaa-san. I'll be leaving regardless," I chimed in after.

She was very flustered at being bombarded like this, a clear sign that we'd be getting our way. You could say I felt pretty bad for her. Kaa-san took it upon herself to cook us all breakfast this early in the morning, and she still had to listen to her children's selfish wants? What a pity.

Where was pops in all this? He's still snoozing away? Come down here and back her up before I end up doing it myself, old man. Honestly, I could probably do with or without school at this point. Give me another week to finish building the Hunter's Den, homework and club be damned...

No, that's a lie. I'd be putting my family at risk with Isshiki Iroha if I really stopped showing up to Sobu. I still remember my earlier conversation with the big guy, about how Sobu's my 'cage' for her to peek in. Last thing I need is for that insane girl to come snooping for me here, of all places. Second priority definitely had to do with my attendance record and any interesting intel from sensei. Third reason to go… was the matter of the Service Club and its president. I have to go, so waiting for my mother to concede was the best course of action.

She took another moment to gather her bearings, wearing a sad smile and all, before finally speaking up. "...Yeesh, what the heck? I guess nothing's going to go the way I want."

I suppressed the rebellious urge to chuckle and jump in with an 'I guess not'. Don't want to push my luck here. Plus, it would have been in bad taste. I figured that at least.

"Again, sorry kaa-san," I said instead. Komachi hesitantly joined my apology with a nod of her own.

Our mother shook her head and could only sigh in response. "There's no need to apologize to me, you two. Just hear me out, okay? I… I want you both to mind your surroundings with every step you take to and back from school. Take the quickest, safestroutes you know but please no unnecessary, stupid shortcuts either. Do you understand me?"

We nodded our heads together, thinking that was enough, but her scrunched up face told us she wasn't having it. Kaa-san grabbed onto our sleeves so tightly she just might have been clutching onto our very souls. At that moment, it made no difference that either of us were as tall as or taller than her. The authority exuded in her voice and posture wasn't one to be trifled with. At the same time, however, there was also a gentle, comforting vibe to that authority that only she has ever successfully enveloped us with.

Kaa-san was kaa-san, after all.

"You two can't understand how this feels, well, Komachi will someday while Hachiman will have something that only men can truly experience."

…Fatherhood? Doubtful.

Kaa-san blinked twice, her long lashes now wet from a few tears. Damn, this moment was getting to her. "I can only say so much, hoping that would be enough. But that's foolish, thinking something like motherhood can be expressed and understood through words alone.

Your mandated attendances are out of my hands and you two seem really determined to go. I swear, like, only you kids can make me feel so proud and worried all at once. My words are all I have to offer, so I'll say this much—don't play with my heart. Don't be reckless with your life. This is your home, promise me you'll bring yourselves back here everyday."

"Yes, kaa-san," Komachi and I said in unison, for the first time in what has felt like… years.

Seeing as I don't plan on dying or getting severely injured anytime soon, this is a promise I could keep. Not to kaa-san's full satisfaction, of course. What she doesn't know won't hurt her, I believe. Does it count if I'm actually pledging to return home after every nightly patrol? There must be some reprieve in that, right?

Hmm, I shouldn't ask myself questions that I know the answer to. It didn't help ease the guilt of lying to my own caring mother for the second time in a week. She just bared her feelings of worry to someone like myself and my time at night won't respect that. A model son, I am not.

"Alright then. I'm leaving!" Komachi waved bye, only to our mother, speeding off to the door to get her coat and boots on in a hurry.

Kaa-san wasted no time rushing over, almost tripping herself in the process. "H-Hey, I know I said you can leave, but maybe your father and I could cancel our carpool and quickly drop you both off in half an hour?" she offered.

Ah man, a ride to school would be pretty relaxing—

"—Tou-chan takes too long to get ready and I need to get to school to help my friend before class starts!" Komachi interrupted, only slightly glancing back.

Forget your friend, it's a free ride. Don't leave just yet, otherwise...

Kaa-san starts again, "Yes, he does, but I can rush him—"

"—Don't worry! I said I'll be safe! Bye bye!" Komachi interrupted again, grabbing her bag and bolting out the door the second her boot laces were strapped on tight, leaving our mother in the dust.

Kaa-san stood there just looking at the door, barely moving after Komachi rushed out. Anyone outside of our family would have mistakenly believed our mother was merely lost in thought, daydreaming even. But those who have known her for years could see beyond just that, especially when the signs were all there.

Like the way she clenched her hands so tightly that her knuckles turned white; both tiny shoulders raised above her neck, filled with tension. Were she to turn around, I bet I could see all that pent up anxiety reaching up to her face—brows furrowed and her green eyes bulged to their utmost capacity.

She was despondent.

Damn it all. Damn you, Komachi. I glanced at the kitchen clock and saw that I was still fairly ahead of schedule. Good, because otherwise this stunt I'm about to pull would have been even more of an inconvenience.

I retrieved my bag and quickly made my way over to the front door, leaving my perfectly scooped bowl of rice and other foods back at the table.

"Kaa-san, stop worrying," I said, passing by her to get my shoes on.

"W-What?" she stuttered, finally snapping out of that troublesome state.

"Komachi will get to school safely, because I'll make sure of it," I explained, putting on my coat and finally ready to leave. "It's cold and she got a head start, but I'll catch up with her on my bike."

Assuming she's on the usual route to get to her school, that is. I've been around that area for more than a few nights, so I generally know my way around. If all else fails, I guess I could just go on ahead and try to wait for Komachi at her school's entrance for as long as I can. I'll text kaa-san just to confirm everything's fine after seeing her off. Anymore than that, I cannot promise—

"Ahh," I gasped out. My train of thought was cut off when I felt a firm tug at the hem of my coat. Man, suffice to say, I should have expected something like this to happen. I dared to glance back at the obvious perpetrator and was met with an award winning smile.

"You're such a good son, Hachiman," kaa-san whispered to me, letting go of my coat. With her free hand, she softly brushed my bangs to each side. It was always perplexing how gentle she could still be even with those painted, filed claws of hers. I stepped back once she started playing with my ahoge like I was a kid again. Gah, so embarrassing!

"Enough already, kaa-san," I said.

"Hmph. Sorry not sorry, Hachi," she replied, feigning a pout.

How irritating. Reminds me too much of the brat. Please act your age, woman. "Bye then."

"Wait," she said, right as I opened the door.

Damn, when can I leave? You understand that, soon enough, I'll be on borrowed time, right? "What is it?"

"Hachiman, just know that we always worry about you too in the same way," kaa-san stated firmly, tilting her head at me. "If it came to it, I would have fought tooth and nail with your father to let you stay home again for another week, y'know?"

Heh, that old man is a simp when it comes to you and Komachi. There wouldn't have been much of an argument once you made a decision. Kind of sad on his part, really.

"Even during times like these, isn't it still bad to tell your children that truancy is the way to go?" I asked her with a bit of snark. I turned away and finally stepped outside as kaa-san processed my words. Hmph, nice victory. Or that's what I thought until I heard her clutching onto the side of the door frame.

"Oookay. Have it your way, brat. I'll think about that the next time you're, like, suddenly sick for a whole week," she said, chuckling to herself at the end.

Wait… that means this whole time she—

I turned back once more to find my mother grinning like a cheshire cat. The smug woman nodded at me a few times before waving farewell and closing the front door. To say I was left dumbfounded was a gross understatement.

Theatricality and deception—powerful weapons against the uninitiated. So what gives?! It wasn't enough for me to heat my thermometer, drink cough medicine, and down only porridge and soups all week?!

Did I have any form of control over this facade of mine? Why the hell am I on my bike, racing across the roads in the midst of winter? By putting myself under such duress, I basically admitted there was never an illness to recover from.

Just… damn it all. She may be my own mother, but I really overestimated my own ability to maintain a lie. A lie that came from a sudden, untenable desire to avoid attending the Service Club. That reality was made on a childish whim and this was my loss. Once more, I regretted faking my illness purely out of emotion.

I wasn't alone in making an emotion-driven decision this week, it seems. The only reason kaa-san would give me a pass and let me stay home for as long as I did had to do everything with the hole I had in my right arm, courtesy of Lady Comedy's FN Five Seven. That was only about a month ago, I believe, and she would never forget something like that. I bet she enjoyed me putting down the "tough guy act" and letting her nurse me for the first time in years.

"It's not that I ever yearned to do this… but I must learn how to deceive even you, kaa-san. My bad for being a pain in the ass son," I whispered to myself.

I took solace of the fact that neither of the two other Service Club members could prove I was faking at all. They'll have to take my word for it… unless Lady Luck decides to be a slut again and have me cycle onto the same path as either of them. Quickly, I became a bit more aware of the people I rode by, trying my best to discern any familiar peachy or black-haired girls.

As much as I tried to not let it get to me, I felt a bit self-conscious over people looking at me like an idiot for biking in such cold weather. To think I would have to be on the lookout for a couple of girls… just to keep up a lie that's already in shambles. It really didn't have to be like this.

It's only going to be harder from here on out, Hachiman. The time to bear with what I signed up for has long past. Logic and common sense must prevail whenever possible, to achieve the most efficient outcome. I prided myself over acting on such a mindset ever since that night in the alleyway. There's no excuse as to why this isn't second nature to me, after all these years. Despite thinking this way, I still felt compelled to go in pursuit of Komachi and beyond.

It's winter and I'm wasting precious energy, pedaling away to find my sister, who's still got beef with me. Why? To keep her out of trouble and ease kaa-san's worries.

I'm going back to Sobu, after a week long absence. Turned down the offer to stay at home. Why? To protect my family, keep up appearances, and evaluate the state of affairs.

At school I'll be looking over my shoulder for a lurking Isshiki Iroha. The very one I argued in favor of keeping her identity as Lady Comedy away from the police. Why?! To selfishly satisfy my stupid, stupid sense of pity.

Hng! The pain in my sides increased as I pushed myself to keep pedaling. Just where was this girl? It was getting harder to breathe and focus my eyes on the road in front of me. Everything about the current state of my body spoke to the idiocy of my emotion-driven resolve.

Being human has its limitations and I can only play the hand that I'm dealt. As unfair as it is for the potential of human emotion to triumph over human physicality everytime, that's just how life works.

This is something I have to do alone, as I've resigned to do so just a couple of months back. That goes for any mistakes and sentimental decisions I will inevitably make down the line.

'I hate how you accept and affirm weakness.'

'I think that people should push themselves to their limits to improve themselves.'

For some reason, that ice woman's past words popped right back into my head as I stopped at a red light. Strange, because I'm not even conceding to her beliefs about hard work. In fact, me accepting my limitations and working with them anyway absolutely vindicates my response from back then.

Effort will never betray you, though it will betray your dreams. At the very least, your hard work will provide you with consolation. You're free to be content with that self satisfaction, no matter what others may think. Want a sappy silver lining from that? If you're lucky, eventually you may reach a goal that never crossed your mind in the first place.

I for sure didn't expect to have to pursue my sister with this old bike, just a few hours after my patrol. Yet here I am, exhausted but still speeding through against all odds.

And there she is, just half a block away from my reach. Vindicated once again! Good thing too, my damn legs are killing me. Luckily, Komachi seems to have spotted me as well. Hmph, I expected this brat to give me a nasty look, even in public. As if she left me any other choice in the matter. Patience, just gotta drop her off and get on with the day.

Oh… she's running away from me.

Hikigaya Goemon

"Midori, you've been staring at that thing for a while now. Chill out," I told the poor, doting mother.

"I feel like an idiot. I really should have told either Hachiman or Komachi to call me as soon as possible. This is driving me up the wall," she said, pacing back and forth like some inane exercise routine.

She certainly looked the part of an anxious mother hen. This woman was making me sweat just by watching her and I was only sitting here, eating this delicious breakfast she prepared.

"Yeah, I can see that. Why not call one of them yourself?" I asked her, munching a bit from my bowl of rice.

Her eyes bulged with fury. "You think I haven't tried that?! Honestly, we get these kids hooked up with nice phones and plans and neither of them have the decency to pick up for their own mother!"

"Indoor voice, woman," I said. "It's too early to be shouting."

Midori typically sounds fine on any day, but she gets overtly shrill whenever something makes her anxious or excited. Kind of like a banshee, if you ask me.

Eh? She was giving me a heated look, something I've rarely seen since the days she regarded me with absolute disdain. Either she read my mind or my polite request for a softer tone backfired like hell.

"Would it kill you to get up as early as I do? Especially now?" Midori asked.

No way. Who in their right mind would willingly do such a thing? Especially if they were in my position as corporate's favorite go-to bitch?

Ah man, seems like I have to explain everything this morning. "That's just it. When else is the company going to let us go in later and come out earlier than usual? Of course I'm going to sleep as much as I can. Like I told you before, my circadian rhythms haven't been this great since high school—"

"—Enough about your 'circadian rhythms'," she cut me off, scorn laced in her voice. "Is it just me or does anybody else in this family care about how crazy Chiba's become?"

I tried to wave her down, this was getting out of hand. "Of course not. Look, it's just not healthy to be reacting the way that you are. You're spazzing—."

No, that was the wrong thing for me to say. That scorching, protective force of nature is a huge part of what Midori's about. She's got every right to feel that way—but certainly not to this extent.

As expected, she gave me this look of despair as if I betrayed her trust. "I'm not freaking out without good reason here! All I want is our children to be safe, is that really so much to ask?! We could have been in the car and safely drove them to their schools, Goemon!"

Crap. If looks could kill, I would have been dead halfway through her spiel. She's really not having it today. I've gone long enough being too nonchalant about the entire thing, when all it's done is make her feel alone. This is our duty as parents. Our worries to share with one another.

So I got up and gently grabbed my trembling wife by her sides. "Calm down, dear. Come here, give me that thing and just sit down with me."

I could see a few tears spilling over from her eyes as I guided her over to the kitchen table, pocketing her phone while doing so. Damn, now I felt pretty bad for trying to make light of all this when she needed the opposite from no one else other than her husband. I got her to sit down in the empty chair right next to mine. However, she swiftly closed the distance between us again, leaning her head on my shoulder and sobbing for a few moments.

"I-I'm sorry for snapping, it's just... I really wanted them to stay here," she whispered, tearing my heart in two.

Come on, you gotta stop. I embraced the poor woman and gently pet her head, feeling like an idiot again for not doing so earlier. Her small form melted into me as she reciprocated my touch.

Soothing words weren't always my strongest suit but, as promised, I had to try my best for her. "I hear you, I hear you. Alright, I'm sorry too. You know me, I'm an awful hypocrite. I've also been worried since I came down and didn't see either of them at the table."

"Really?" she asked.

"Of course," I replied. "Just tried to be brave, I guess."

Midori snorted a bit at my lame confession. "Dummy, you should know by now not to hide these things from me."

I scratched my neck, embarrassed for more than a few reasons. That didn't stop me from looking straight at her to try and assert at least one of my points.

"I didn't lie when I said you were being a bit unhealthy about everything, though. Just try and look at it from my point of view, okay?" I asked her. She was looking down, trying to wipe off a dark smudge of her own doing in vain, before nodding for me to continue. "Hachiman's fast on his bike and he can't possibly miss Komachi while she's on foot. He'll reach her soon enough and any distant pretense going on between them will disappear on their way to school."

"But how could you know that?" she asked, finally eyeing me with a pair of glistening emerald pools. Heh, her favorite eyeliner streamed down her soft, rosy cheeks. Ahh, I wouldn't trade this beauty for the world… even if she did just ruin my favorite shirt.

I could only be honest with her. "I really don't. I grew up alone, remember? So I'm mostly going off of everything you've told me about what it's like to have siblings. Maybe they're not exact, but if Komachi and Hachiman are anything like you and your brother…"

"...Then they've got each other's backs." she breathed out, finishing my sentence like it was some bright epiphany. It really wasn't.

"Exactly, especially when it counts," I said, giving her the best smile I could muster with this ugly mug of mine.

Hikigaya Hachiman

Took some time, but I finally had Komachi cornered right by a dingy-looking liquor store. We're not exactly far off from her school, but this is definitely not a safe neighborhood. This area pisses me off every night—that's enough of a reason why we needed to get out of dodge.

"It-It's cheating to chase a girl with your bike, creep," Komachi jeered at me.

The tiny pants in between her words told me she was totally out of it. Komachi would be late getting to school if she tried to walk there now. Still, the thought of just leaving this idiot here crossed my mind before I firmly squashed it down.

I took a few deep breaths, feeling a slight fatigue wash over me. "Making me pedal harder than I had to… all for nothing. I'll get you for this, damn brat."

"Hmph," Komachi snorted, giving me a scowl. "Take a hint then, nii-san. Just leave me alone!"

She really is annoying, sticking her damn tongue out at me like that. But I have to take it in stride for the moment. I don't think this airhead even knows where the hell she led us both with her wild goose chase. All it takes is a couple of turns to end up in the wrong block. Again, this area is a definite no-go zone for civilians, or even lone thugs, at night.

Hell, from the corner of my eye, I could see a couple of hooded, shady figures eyeing us from the alley across the street. Two mere scouts of a much larger pack, I bet. Like hell we're going to stay here and find out what they want. I hurriedly unlock a strap attached to my bike, hoping my urgency would be convincing enough for Komachi to obey me.

"Maybe I will next time. Take this right now and get on the bike," I throw her a spare helmet a bit more firmly than necessary. Hit her right in the chest, but she caught it.

"Ow! That hurt you jerk! Didn't you hear me? I said I can get there—"

I quit paying attention to her once one of the shady guys from the alley came out and leaned against the building. No joke, he definitely had us in his sights and I wasn't about to stand my ground right now.

Midway through her rant, I grabbed Komachi's hand and jerked her over to my side. "Move. Now," I commanded harshly, never letting go.

My voice and the look on my face must have finally left Komachi with no more room to argue. She complied, putting the helmet on and then sat right behind me.

The hooded man jaywalked across the street in our direction rather quickly. Needless to say, I pedaled the hell out of there before he could reach us. Thankfully, my airheaded sister clutched on to me as soon as we sped off. She'd better not let go, because I wasn't stopping anytime soon to give that prick behind us a chance to catch up.

Maybe I'll see you tonight, cocky bastard. Just give me a reason—see if you'll try to rush me then.

A couple of twists and turns and we were out of that hell hole. My watch says I've only been speeding through for three minutes, but it felt much more like fifteen. There might have been a few recognizable alleyways that could have been used as shortcuts, but I was no idiot. Empty streets and alleyways? Perfect spots for traps and easy ambushes.

About five minutes later, I noticed a lot of bustling activity in this new area we've gotten to. Big family SUVs, middle schoolers walking in groups, some kids chaperoned by parents? Yeah, it seems we're in a good place. This crowded, familial vibe will ward off any daylight thugs. I suppose this is the true power of the herd, which was definitely useful in a pinch.

My legs were barely hanging on and I was getting tired of ignoring the red-light more than a few times, just to get to this point. With that and the depletion of my adrenaline, working my bike at this slower pace was all I could manage. It was a miracle that we still remained right on schedule as well. I took a slight turn, eyeing Komachi's school just a few blocks ahead.

"Shit!" I winced and jerked over due to one hell of a sharp jab at my side.

Komachi's grip around me had tightened as we turned, her hands clutching at my bruises from last night's patrol. Thankfully, she sensed the source of my discomfort and retracted her hands immediately. I stopped the bike at the side of the curb, taking deep breaths and wincing as my ribs pulsed with pain.

"What did I do? A-Are you okay?" she stuttered out behind me.

I didn't answer Komachi's question. I refused to do so and just tried to endure the pain until it passed. She actually attempted to soothe me by rubbing my shoulder, but I shook her off. I mean, what good would that do anyway? After a few tries, she realized that's all I would do and didn't inquire or touch me any further. She muttered something nonsensical about 'growing pains' to herself. Good. I glanced back at her and spoke as if nothing had happened.

"Look, just hold on, alright? We're almost there."

Komachi didn't do so immediately, hesitation had taken hold of her. I pedaled on and, ultimately, felt her grasp onto my gut while giving my sides room to breathe. She did so very carefully and I only twitched an eyebrow this time, thanks to her consideration.

We would ride a couple of blocks before Komachi kept piping up with an "um", as if she was going to ask me questions before deciding against it. For whatever reason, she would make these tiny noises while fidgeting with her hands all around my stomach. Unfortunately, she did this more than once and I got sick of it real quick.

"Whatever it is, spit it out or be quiet," I said without looking back. My sister's school was just a couple of blocks away and soon I'd be rid of her. Regardless of whatever she was going to say or ask, I had no obligation to give her a response.

"Don't tell me to shut up! I just—forget it. It's just so weird, okay? I don't want to say it!"

Oh? Unsatisfied, I pressed her to give a better answer. "What's weird is you making those strange noises right behind my back."

She hesitated once again, her fingers trembling at my gut again. "Nevermind. I was just a little weirded out—"

"—Over nothing, probably," I cut her off.

"Not over nothing,okay?!"

"So you say,"

"Stop—"

"Strange girl."

"AUGH! I was just thinking 'my stupid, idiot gomi-san can't be this... built!' okay?!"

Excuse me?

"W-What?" I asked her to clarify, a bit of heat crawling onto my face. The hell is this girl saying? Why say something so embarrassing if you're going to get flustered too?

"I-I just didn't expect you to have… freakin' abs. Not with the way you've been gorging yourself with food and looking like a zombie everyday!

"Oi, I'm not the one who stuffs herself every night with candy—"

"Shut up! Gross! I hate you! I can't believe you actually made me say all of that!" Komachi yelled into my ear, driving us both to silence before I could even think of a response to all of that nonsense.

"…"

"..."

I think I got this. "...They just ramped up gym activities at Sobu, alright? And there was no need to say something that stupid—"

She taps my back and scoffs, as if to say she wasn't buying my excuses anyway. "Stop. Let's just drop it okay? My school's right there, I'm getting off."

It was as Komachi said, we ended up right by her middle school while we argued. She promptly got off the bike with her backpack in hand. Anything about the exchange we just had appeared to have gone up and away from her mind as she stretched her tiny limbs. A moment later, she excitedly waved to two people she spotted from, like, twenty feet away.

Ah, the eldest Kawasaki siblings.

The young boy, Kawasaki Taishi, slightly blushed as he smiled back—definitely at the sight of my imouto. Good thing too, I wouldn't know what the hell to do if he was giving me that sort of look.

His older sister recognized who I was, which did surprise me a little, though she calmly redirected her gaze back towards her brother. She spoke a few words to him and took off on foot, her silver-blue ponytail disappearing amongst the crowd. What a diligent student Kawasaki's become! I suppose I should follow her example and get to our class on time as well. But perhaps I could do a quick stop—

I felt a tug at my wrist, stopping my train of thought. "Don't make a habit of staring at Taishi-kun's sister. I don't think you're her type."

This chick really wanted to pick a fight. How annoying. "I was doing nothing of the sort. Just get inside already, I have to go."

"Don't forget to call kaa-chan, okay?" Komachi asked. I rolled my eyes, thinking that was it. She ignored that and looked up at me again, getting closer. "And while we're at it… I want you to know this doesn't have to happen again."

Oh? I scowled at her. "Stop being vague. What are you talking about?"

This time she rolled her own eyes, breathing through her nose like tou-san does when he's annoyed. "Look, thanks for getting me here safely today. I won't go through dangerous neighborhoods again, so don't give me rides to school anymore just because kaa-chan ordered you to. Taishi-kun and I walk home together after school too. Got it?"

That kid's your boyfriend or something? "Wow, and I'm supposedly the problem child here."

Once again, she flared up. "Shut up—"

"—No. Kaa-san didn't order me to do jack. Chiba's not safe and you left me no choice. Don't assume my intentions without having anything to back up your claims." I walked my bike right past her, getting ready to leave.

But Komachi didn't want to leave it at that, she got right in front of me again and stuck her tongue out before replying. "Yeah, like I'm supposed to believe that."

I met her head on with a glare. "Brat. I made the decision on my own. I didn't even finish my breakfast."

"Ha. Now I know you're lying, fatty."

"Bite me—"

*growl*

As if on cue, my stomach rumbled loudly enough for her and her timidly approaching friend to hear. Our spat and the Kawasaki boy were stopped in their tracks for, what felt like, one of the longest moments of my life. But no laughter, no jeers, and no scoffs came from the two younger kids. Rather, they both wore looks of confusion and their cheeks appeared to have warmed up in the same manner as mine, as if sharing in my embarrassment.

Perhaps I'd be touched if my stomach didn't growl for a second consecutive time.

...I'm out of here, I didn't ask for this. Without a word, I raised a hand at a stuttering Komachi to stop her from saying anything else. Did she believe me now? I didn't care. I took off on my bike, leaving both middle schoolers in the dust. At this point in time, I was a woeful, wretched mess, yearning for the dishes I left back at home. Damn gut continued to rumble as I pedaled… I'll have to settle with buying some d-tier anpan at the convenience store near Sobu.

I can't believe it's come to this. That my decision to buy and eat more food was unwavering, really just fueled my current state of self-loathing. What is going on?

Hikigaya Goemon

"...Oh no. That's Hachiman's share you're eating. Our boy didn't even finish his meal," Midori clutched her head like she had a migraine.

Goodness, what a lovely, loving mother! If it's not her children's safety she's worrying about, it's their stomachs. Still, at least she's not crying anymore and that makes me happy.

"Well, don't worry—none of it's not going to waste," I said, eating another spoonful. Of course I offered her a share of it as I munched on.

She wasn't amused, how typical.

"Your son must be starving!" Midori blurted out.

"Doubtful. He doesn't need to eat much just yet. The blooming shouldn't start until sometime next year, remember?" I pointed out with a smirk.

"..."

Now that got her to stop nagging. "You remember, Midori?"

"..."

Hehe. "Y'know, 'cause the seed is strong—"

"—Shut up you pig," she cut me off, getting up from the table. "Just hurry finish eating and wash your dish. Doma-san and Motoba-san will be here soon with the carpool."

"Will do," I gave her a salute and she waved me off. Oh? Felt a vibration in my pants as I watched her walk away, swaying left to right… Ah right, I had her phone. That was probably it—yep.

"Yo," I called her back over.

She cutely peeks back from the hall. "Hmm?"

I wave her phone in the air. "You got a message. It's all good, our kids appear to be intact—"

Good grief. This woman practically glided over and swiped that thing away from me like candy from a baby. Now she's dialing away like there's no tomorrow! I mean, give the kid some room to breathe. Kind of off-putting to hear you whispering "Hachi… Hachi" at the same time, y'know?

Well, hopefully our no good son actually picks up the damn thing this time. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't feeling a bit relieved myself—would have gone searching for them if nothing had come up for another ten minutes.

Following the wife's orders, I got up from the table with my empty dishes in hand, dumping everything in the sink. I stretched out my arms, pleased with the cracking sensation of my old bones. My fingertips touched the ceiling with ease, covering them with a bit of dust. Now that was disgusting.

"Goemon, stop making a mess of yourself. Your shirt's already bad enough," Midori scolded me.

Tch, she had the nerve to say that as she reapplied her dumb makeup! I had half a mind to remind her who's at fault for the black blob on my shoulder. The other half told me it's smarter to just stay silent. Gotta remember to be wary of ladies who can handle a phone, a brush, and a mirror all at once, especially if they're already scolding you over something. Multitaskers like that are monstrous beings and could surely spare the effort to really put you down if you tried sassing them back.

Heh, she pouted at my lack of response. Not taking the bait this time, darling.

"If you're not going to change then don't forget to wear your blazer—Hachiman! Yes, I received your message, but I called you so many times before that! Did you two really make it safely?—"

He picked up? Good, now that's complete a load off our minds. Let's not repeat this for the rest of the week, yeah? Scratch what I said earlier about wanting the extra hours of sleep. I wouldn't mind getting up and driving both brats to school, even if it means ditching the carpool with our friends from work.

I mean, I couldn't even imagine how bad it'd turn out if some douchebag tried to mob my kids. Komachi, that little mini-Midori, leaves me a worried mess like no other. There's less worrying for my son, admittedly, but only because he's always had the makings of an independent, scary-looking guy. Courtesy of yours truly.

That said, there's only so much our likeness can do to help us blend in with thugs, boy. Scum can quickly tell the difference between other scum and ideal prey. I hope you're not stupid and know that much. Keep your head down and don't get yourself into any trouble, it's just not worth it now.

A/N: Hope the switch to first person wasn't too jarring. Unless it calls for it, the story will mostly be told from Hachiman's POV in future chapters. Just wanted to introduce my take on Hachi's mom (Hikigaya Midori) and dad (Hikigaya Goemon) this time around. If you want a visual aid, you can refer to the monologue manga's drawing of Hachiman's mother. Me, I'm picturing her as gaudy woman who looks like Hayama Kanade (Google her) with an ahoge and green eyes. Goemon's just a really tall, older looking Hachiman without the ahoge. Midori's name is self-evident if you just google it. I choose 'Goemon' because I imagine Hachiman was named after a legendary figure from Japan only because his father also grew up with an infamous name. 'G' comes before 'H' and blablabla. "Seed is strong" line is a dumb game of thrones reference.

Things are rough between Komachi and Hachiman. Let me know if you'd like to see things get better or worse. That also goes for using Japanese terms like "kaa-san" interchangeably with "mother". I hope it wasn't confusing at all, but I assume most didn't even notice.