Disclaimer: I own nothing from the wonderful world of J.R.R. Tolkien. Nor do I own the jingle bells song. The second verse of which I have decided not to create here b/c the original version of the second verse is so entertaining in it's pervertedness itself.
Also, yes I know that "away" and "lace" do not rhyme. I don't care. Nobody said it was perfect.
(to the tune of Jingle Bells)
Run you orcs, run you orcs,
run you orcs away
oh what fun it is to scare the orcs with soap and lace
Run you orcs, run you orcs,
Run you orcs away
Oh what fun it is to scare the orcs with soap and lace
Dashing through the fields
Wielding Leggy's shampoo
Trying to find a weak spot
To make them all frou frou
We love to torture orcs
They're ugly and they're mean
It also is quite funny
To watch the ghosties turn them green
Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooh
Run you orcs, run you orcs,
run you orcs away
oh what fun it is to scare the orcs with soap and lace
run you orcs, run you orcs,
run you orcs away
oh what fun it is to scare the orcs with soap and lace
(big finish)