Hey kids! Finally, I wrote some more on this story! Yay me! And this is where the drama part of the genre starts to unfold...there is only so much humor I can inflict into such a situation like this! But I'll try to keep at least some humor in it! Oh, and I have no idea how Chandler would react in a situation like this...last time he and I were secretly married, the restraining order prevented me from seeing his reaction...but oh well! So please read and review and I'll try to update soon...after I update smoke and mirrors! Yehaw!

I dont own friends/actors/characters, but I do currently own a head of red hair...more burgendy...blonde hair does strange things when you put an aztec copper rinse through it! Also, once more, I'm having trouble with my net, so no line thing seperating it again! DOH!

"And here is the fall line."

Rachel handed a folder to Mr Zelner, then clasped her hands together hopefully as he looked through it.

"Rachel, I must say, this is pretty impressive."

"Oh, well, you know, that's neither here nor there." She leaned over the back of the chair, laughing lightly; all thoughts of babies and Chandler pushed into the back of her mind for now.

"I think that if you keep up the good work, there might be some sort of reward for you soon."

"Oh my god, really?"

"Yes! You are a valued employee here Rachel. Smart, talented, truthful-"

"Rachel! Are you insane? We're still married? What…how…what the hell were you thinking?"

Both Rachel and Mr Zelner froze, then turned to find a fuming Chandler in the doorway. Mr Zelner glanced from Chandler to Rachel, his face showing that of a question mark. Rachel let out a nervous laugh.

"Excuse me, Mr Zelner." She grabbed Chandler's hand and pulled him out of the room.

"Oh yeah, because holding my hand isn't going to make matters worse or anything!"

"Shut up!" she hissed, dragging him down the hallway.

"Shut up? Do you guys hear that? My wife is telling me to shut up!" The people they were rushing past gave the two an odd look, then went back to what they were doing.

"Chandler!" she screeched, then pushed him into her office, shutting the door behind them. "What the hell do you think you are doing?"

"What the hell do I think I am doing? Rach, what the hell do you think you are doing! I can't believe you didn't get the annulment! What, were you just never going to tell me?"

"Chandler-"

"Or were you going to wait until Mon and I got married and then jump out and scream 'Surprise!'" Chandler waved his arms frantically, looking on the borderline of hysterics.

"Chandler-"

"No, wait, I got it! This was just a game, or-or a dare! Yeah, you were waiting to tell me, waiting for ages, until the vein in my head turned from non existent to colossal! You wanted my vein to explode, didn't you!" he pointed an accusing finger at her face, which Rachel knocked away.

"Chandler-"

"Or perhaps it was just-"

"Chandler, for god sakes, shut up!" she screamed. Chandler backed away, eyes wide.

"Shut up? Oh, well I definitely don't want the divorce now, seeing we are in such a loving relationship!"

"You just keep on talking, don't you?"

"You're damn right I do! Especially in situations like this! Rach, what the hell were you thinking? Did you think how this would affect things? Did you think how this would affect me and Monica? Did you think-"

"No! Well…yes…but, I don't know Chandler, I didn't think…but I did…but I didn't…you know, I blame this all on Vegas." Rachel sat heavily in her chair, rubbing her forehead.

"Yes, because Vegas decided to stay secretly married to me…oh no! No no, that was you!"

"This really isn't helping right now Chandler," Rachel snapped. Chandler paused, then let out a long sigh, sitting down on the corner of the desk.

"Rach…Rach."

"What?" Rachel asked tearfully, glancing up at him. He didn't look angry anymore; more tired then anything.

"Why didn't you get the annulment?"

"It's complicated."

"How is it complicated? You said it was easy."

"Not the annulment; that's easy. The situation, that's what is complicated," Rachel muttered, glancing back down at her hands.

"What's so complicated about it?"

"You know…uh…no, you don't…never mind…" Rachel took a deep breath, then stood up. "Look, if you want to get the annulment, that's fine; we'll get it right now."

"Why can we get it now? Why couldn't we have gotten it four weeks ago?" Chandler was starting to sound frustrated again, and Rachel knew that there was no way to explain her actions without getting him either angry or freaked out.

"I don't know Chandler, okay? I'm a woman! Doesn't that give me the right to do something crazy every now and then? Like, say, stay married to a guy because it may be the only marriage I ever get?"

"Is that what this is about?" Chandler eyed her carefully, a long pause stretching out between them.

"Yeah, sure…yeah, that's what this is about." Rachel twisted her hair nervously.

"Rach…you're lying."

"What? I'm not lying! Why would you assume that?"

"Because you are playing with your hair! You only do that when you're nervous or lying…that's right, I pay attention!"

"Okay Mr Observant, tell me then; why did I stay married to you?" Rachel stared at Chandler defiantly; a part of her hoping that he would figure it out. Maybe then he would take her in his arms, kiss her and ravish her, right on her desk. Wishful thinking, but she could dream.

"Because you're crazy? Because you're weird? Because you're…because you're jealous?" Chandler cocked an eyebrow. "Am I getting warm?"

"Jealous? Who would I be jealous of? Why would I be jealous?" Rachel laughed nervously, twisting her hair once more.

"Because Mon and I are in a relationship and you want that? Or maybe you're in love with Monica…or me," Chandler laughed lightly, shaking his head. "But that would just be impossible…me having two beautiful women hot for me when I had so much trouble getting one…are you in love with Monica?"

"What? No!"

"Then what?"

"It doesn't matter! We are going down and getting this damn thing broken up, right now!" Rachel grabbed her purse from her desk and marched out the room, determined to do the right thing, even if it hurt her. "Oh, and Monica never finds out about this!"

"You're damn straight she never finds out about this! She would physically slaughter me! And God only knows what she would do to you!"

"Yeah, she's always been scared of me stealing her guys," Rachel muttered under her breath.

"That ain't gonna happen here, no, no, no!"

"Pity." Rachel spoke so quiet that Chandler didn't hear, although he knew that she had spoken.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Oh, another secret huh? What, do we secretly have three children and live in the 'burbs with a white picket fence?"

"You aren't going to get over this, are you?"

"Would you?"

"I don't know Chandler, but I most likely would be a bit lenient on whoever was secretly married to me…I mean, I am obviously kinda crazy at the moment; I'm talking whacked out, hair sticking up on ends, head about to explode crazy!" Rachel threw her arms out to signify her craziness, and accidentally smacked some random person in the head. "Sorry! I mean…no I'm not sorry, because I'm crazy!"

"Crazy people apologise too Rach!" Chandler exclaimed as he hurried to keep up with her. "Speaking of which, I'm still waiting for my apology."

"Apology? For what?"

"What the hell do you think? For this!"

"Oh, you want an apology? Fine! I'm so sorry that I didn't get the annulment and put you and Monica's relationship in turmoil! I'm so sorry that I got you drunk and married you-"

"A little less sarcasm would be nice," Chandler muttered as they left the building. Rachel turned on her heel to face him, feeling less sane then she ever had. Chandler had found out, and she had just blown her chances with him. Not that she had ever really had much of a chance. Instead of crying, like she would usually do, Rachel decided to be bitter.

"Oh, coming from the king of sarcasm himself!"

"Rach-"

"No, no, no, let me finish! Where was I...oh yes! I'm sorry I ruined everything, and I'm sorry I ever listened to Phoebe! If I hadn't then maybe this would never have happened! Maybe I would have kept pining for Ross instead of pining for you!"

Chandler stopped in the street, mouth agape as he stared at Rachel.

"…what?"

"Yeah, that's right! I fell in love with you Chandler, and it's making me crazy! Now hurry up, its 11, and the divorce lawyer closes at 5!" Rachel stalked off, heart hammering in her chest as she realised what she had just done. This was definitely a time to freak out.

"…what?"

"Chandler, come on!"

"No…what? You…you…you love…me?"

"Yes, okay! Now, are you going to ravish me or are we going to get this marriage annulled?" Rachel exclaimed, hoping for the former. Chandler continued to stare at her, his eyes showing that the wheels were turning.

"You love me?"

"Holy crap, why is it so hard to believe? Chandler…Chandler? Are you okay?"

"I need…I need water." Chandler backed up and sat down on a bench, still staring at Rachel. She sighed, glancing around. Rushing over to the nearest vender, she quickly purchased a bottle of water. "Here."

"Thanks…" Chandler took a small sip, then glanced back at her. "How could you love me?"

"I don't know Chandler, I really don't…falling in love with your husband is not an everyday occurrence…maybe I always loved you? I don't know."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes…and I'm sorry, it's the worst thing I could do, I know…you love Monica…you do love Monica?" Rachel looked at Chandler with hopeful eyes, longing to hear him say otherwise, and feeling horrible because of that.

"I do…"

"Well, okay then, this is sorted out," Rachel took a deep breath, knowing that there was one small matter that needed to be attended to. "Well…almost."

"What do you mean? The annulment?"

"No…there's something else."

"What?"

Rachel paused, running her hands through her hair nervously. Chandler waited for a long moment, then raised the bottle to his lips. As he went to take a sip, Rachel spoke. "I'm pregnant."

"Oh…oh! Wow…that was unexpected! Uh…hey, uh…wow…"

"Yeah…"

"Who's the father?" Chandler asked after another pause. Rachel bit her lip, watching as Chandler raised the bottle once more.

"It's yours." She continued to watch as Chandler drank…and drank…and drank. Finally, when she started to tap her foot, he lowered the bottle and mechanically put the lid back on, then set it down on the ground. He then turned to Rachel.

"What?"

"It's yours…you're the father."

"But…what? H-How and…and…but…"

"Apparently we slept together that night."

"No we didn't."

"Yes…we did."

"No we didn't."

"Chandler, we must have!"

"Why? Why must have we?"

"Because we woke up in bed together, and I highly doubt I went randomly sleeping with any other guy that night!"

"Well, it could have been some other night!"

"Chandler, I hadn't had sex in forever!" Rachel exclaimed, then glared at the woman who looked at her oddly. "Oh, I'm sorry! Is our midlife crisis disturbing your day? Keep walking Blondie!"

"You're pregnant? Oh my god…oh my god, so this is what it feels like to have a stroke."

Rachel glared after the nosy woman for a moment, then turned to Chandler. "I really…I don't know what to say Chandler."

"Are…are you going to keep it?"

"Yes."

"I'm gonna be a dad…Monica's gonna kill me," Chandler stood abruptly, running his hands through his hair in a panic. "She is going to kill me! Why did we sleep together? Why would I do that?"

"We were really drunk-"

"So drunk that I would jeopardise my relationship like that?" Chandler sat down heavily on the bench. "This is unbelievable."

"I know and I'm so sorry, god am I sorry."

"Hey, it's not your fault that I'm a complete and utter moron," Chandler muttered. Rachel sighed, taking a seat next to him.

"No, but it does take two to tango, you know…and I am the one who stayed married to you."

"Yeah…"

Rachel watched Chandler for a long while, biting her lip thoughtfully. "Maybe we should just go and get the annulment?"

"No, you're right…it's complicated now…you're pregnant and you…you love me?"

"I don't have to love you Chandler, I really don't."

"But you do?"

"I do…so much."

"This is something new and different," Chandler ran his hands through his hair once more, then turned to face her. "What do we do?"

"What do you think we should do?"

"What do you want to do about this?"

"I think you know what I want to do about this Chandler, but I know that isn't going to happen…you're with Mon."

"Yeah…until she finds out about this," Chandler muttered. Rachel felt a pang of guilt course through her as she watched Chandler sigh. "Rach, you know I love you, right?"

"Just not that way?"

"I'm sorry…but hey! We get a baby, right?" Chandler let out a slightly crazed laugh.

"Right," Rachel said forlornly. Chandler let out another sigh.

"Oh this is messed up…and awkward."

"No, hey, it's fine! It's all good…we'll go get this marriage annulled, figure out a way to tell Mon, try to keep her from killing us, and then have the baby! It will be fine!"

"Sounds easy enough…"

Rachel nodded, biting her lip to stop the tears from coming. "Yeah…easy."

"You crying?"

"No…I'm just overjoyed about our whole awkward situation."

"Rach…"

Rachel let out a sob, shaking her head. "It's awful and stupid, but part of me really wanted you to pick me over Mon…I'm so selfish."

"You're not selfish Rach-"

"Aren't I? I broke up Ross and Julie because I wanted him, I almost broke up Ross and Emily because I wanted him, and now a part of me wanted to break you and Mon up because I wanted you? What isn't selfish about that?"

Rachel started to cry then, leaving Chandler with no idea what to do. Usually he would hug her and tell her that everything was alright, but this wasn't a usual situation. This was an unbelievable situation. Shrugging, Chandler reached over and pulled Rachel into his arms. As awkward as the situation was, he couldn't watch her cry and do nothing.

"I've screwed everything up," Rachel sobbed. Chandler shook his head, holding her closer.

"It's okay; we'll figure something out."