Author's Note: Life continues to be crazy, but I'm clawing my way back to the keyboard, WIP by WIP. This one finally woke back up & is on track to being done in a couple more chapters.
Hugs to GenjutsuDragon for the beta read!
The wedding was organized with the swift precision of an N7 op, aided by no shortage of willing co-conspirators who ensured that the ceremony remained small, private and – above all – secret. Held aboard the Normandy, with past and present crew (and Aethyta) attending and officiated by Councilor Tevos, it was perhaps not the most romantic seeming of settings, but neither Beth nor Liara hesitated in their choice. The ship, and its predecessor, had been as vital in their lives as any of those who had served aboard it.
Plus, it made an ideal getaway vehicle to take them to their honeymoon spot: an isolated island in the South Pacific that had been spared any of the Reapers' devastation. A small habitation unit (bedroom, bathroom, and kitchen) had been inserted and stocked with food and water, with a single quantum entanglement communicator the sole link to the outside world.
It went unused for the full two weeks, and the peace was glorious. No extranet, no e-mails, no vids, no reporters, no official requests. Just a warm, sandy beach, a gently rolling ocean of crystal clear water that perfectly supported Liara's ever more ungainly belly, and a bondmate whose ardor was not dampened in the least by her increasing girth. Making love in the sand, in the ocean, in the bed, in the shower; Beth was quite determined to make up for the lost years, and Liara quite willing to let her, glorying in her lover's touch, the answering fire of her own passion, the joy of their melds.
Nothing lay between them now; even in dreams, their minds danced together, the ephemeral awareness more than enough to keep the old nightmares away. Awake, the connection deepened; it was rare that either of them spoke aloud. In the island's simple isolation, the flow of thought and emotion between them conveyed everything that was needed. And when they made love, the link grew still more profound, until they could no longer tell where one left off and the other began. In the afterglow, she lay in Lisbeth's arms, listening to the pounding of the surf and the susurrating rain of a tropical storm, watching the dance of lightning visible through the skylights, feeling the rumble of the thunder, all of it through that wondrous shared awareness, Beth's languid contentment swirling with her own until either the embers of desire stirred back into consuming flame or they both drifted into slumber.
The time passed too quickly, but the disappointment of their departure was softened by the knowledge that their paradise remained undiscovered, waiting for future visits. Back in the world, the reaction of Alliance media to being excluded from the galactic hero's nuptials verged on hysteria, but Shepard calmly refused to indulge the feeding frenzy, granting a handful of interviews to those journalists who had kept her trust over the years, and within a week, the news cycles shifted their focus to other top stories.
Peace returned, and with it a new kind of paradise: daily life with her bondmate. Finishing the nursery. Sharing expectant mother stories with Ashley. Working with Jack's students. Watching Steve at the skycar races. Falling asleep and waking up and going through each day with Lisbeth at her side.
Compared to the drama surrounding her conception and early gestation, Hannah Benezia's birth was quite anticlimactic … which was another dream come true. Asari had not required hospitalization to give birth for well over three thousand years. Aethyta was in attendance to help guide Liara through the meditations that would suppress the birthing pains, and Dr. Chakwas monitored mother and child, but it was the three-way bond with Liara and Beth that eased their daughter's passage from the womb and into the physician's waiting hands.
"Two eyes, four limbs, one mouth, and an asshole," Aethyta announced with her typical bluntness, but the softness in her eyes as she watched Karin pass her granddaughter to Liara told a different story. "The latter two are gonna run your lives for the next few years."
Looking into the hazy blue eyes of her daughter, feeling the confusion shifting to comfort as the swaddling blanket and maternal embrace provided the physical support that had been interrupted by her birth, Liara found that she did not mind that prospect in the least.
"She's beautiful," Lisbeth marveled softly, leaning close, laying a finger in a tiny hand and smiling in wonder as the fingers curled around it. "Just like her mother," she added, the brown eyes turning to Liara with a tenderness that made her forget about being tired and sore and still feeling as big as a whale.
"Shit, give her a few days to recover." Aethyta's grumble interrupted their kiss, and Beth grinned at the matron sheepishly, but Liara just tugged her wife back down. There was no denying the effects of birth, however, and physical affection for the next few days was limited to kisses and cuddling, though Liara didn't mind too much. Both she and Lisbeth were utterly enthralled by their new daughter, and after a day of isolation that was enforced by Aethyta, a steady stream of well-wishers visited the flat from morning to night. Apart from a handful of approved reporters (and one unauthorized tabloid writer who was caught trying to take video shots through a window and thrown out – literally – by Bakara), all were friends and family, and Liara welcomed the company, even as she tried to dismiss the return of a thought that refused to be banished.
At the end of the fourth day after Hannah's birth, after putting the sleeping infant into her cradle, Shepard saw Samantha and Kasumi to the door while Liara stood at the living room window, staring out into the darkness. The sound of the door sliding shut was followed by soft footfalls and then arms slipping around her from behind. Liara turned in Beth's embrace to kiss her bondmate passionately, relishing the absence of the ungainly belly that had been between them from the earliest days of their romance. Shepard matched her ardor, but when their lips parted, the brown eyes regarded her with gentle worry.
"What is it?" she asked softly. The bond between them was almost always present now, but while Lisbeth had been aware of her wife's growing disquiet, she had not pressed, letting the asari keep it hidden in the shadows of her mind until now.
"I – need something from you," Liara faltered, anxiety fluttering in her belly and the old shame pushing the details of just what she needed as far from the surface of her thoughts as possible. Goddess, she'd thought all of this was over with, but Hannah's birth had seemingly stirred up the old emotions that her happiness had eclipsed.
"Anything," Beth replied without hesitation, and still without probing.
Liara swallowed hard and nodded, taking Shepard's hands and leading her to their bedroom. Releasing her, she moved to the dresser, crouching to open the bottom drawer and shifting the clothes aside to retrieve what she had hidden beneath them. She stood and turned to Beth, but while she could feel the surprise and consternation in her lover's mind, the revulsion that she had feared was nowhere to be found.
"Why?" The question was accompanied by the gentlest brush of Lisbeth's mind against her own. There was no judgment, only concern, but Liara still felt the tears welling up. Beth took the restraints from her, tossing them onto the bed, and pulled her into a tender embrace.
"It's all right, babe," she whispered, brushing kisses along Liara's crest, reassurance swirling through the bond in a warm current. "It's all right." After the tears had subsided, she drew back a bit, peering into Liara's face. "Talk to me, love?" she pleaded. "You're afraid, I can feel it. You don't have to do this -"
"I do!" Liara protested. She stopped and drew several deep breaths, letting the love radiating from her bondmate calm her until she found the words. "The things I let Feron do … the power that I gave him over me: he never earned it, didn't deserve it, but I let him anyway."
"That doesn't mean that you deserved it," Shepard protested, a touch of anger entering her emotions … anger at Feron, not Liara.
"I know that." Liara reached up to touch Beth's cheek tenderly. "Thanks to you. You deserve my trust in ways that Feron never did, and I need to do this. I need to show you -" She broke off again, struggling for the words, then simply opened her mind fully, letting the gentle probe of Lisbeth's thoughts reach the dark corners.
Shepard met her eyes, the comprehension touching her features not hiding the reluctance. "You don't have to prove that you trust me, love," she murmured.
"Not to you," Liara replied. "To myself. I didn't want to do it while I was pregnant because I know that it might stir up old memories that would have disturbed her."
"They're going to disturb me," Beth grumbled, giving the restraints on the bed a baleful glance, and when her face turned back to Liara, the reluctance remained plain. "Just tie you up?" she wanted to know. "That's all?" At Liara's nod, she drew a slow breath, let it out. "All right," she said at last, "but if you want me to stop, all you have to do is say so."
Liara nodded. "I know."
The awkward silence as they disrobed was something previously unknown between them, and Liara felt her heart racing in her chest. She knew without asking that Shepard would not order her – or even request it – so she positioned herself prone on the bed, arms stretched over her head.
There was no trace of arousal in Lisbeth's expression or her thoughts; the Spectre's face was as serious as Liara had ever seen as she used the restraints to secure first one wrist, then the other, to the frame of the headboard. It wasn't painful, but Liara could still feel her pulse accelerating still faster when an experimental tug confirmed that she could not easily pull free. She had her biotics, of course, but she had never used them against Feron, even in the worst moments, and she couldn't conceive of using them against Beth.
Shepard sat back on her heels, hands resting on her knees, surveying Liara with an unreadable expression. "What do I do now?" she inquired tersely.
"Whatever you want." The words were harder to utter than Liara had anticipated, and she felt a flush of shame at the realization that some deep part of her could still expect that Lisbeth Shepard might turn as cruel as Feron had, given the opportunity.
Even worse was the knowledge that her bondmate was reading those thoughts, but Beth smiled at her tenderly, though the deep brown eyes remained serious.
"One condition," Beth told her. "No link between us." She swallowed, disquiet rippling across her features. "I – don't think I can do this feeling … what you're feeling right now."
It was almost enough to make Liara change her mind. In the weeks since their first melding, the connection between their minds had deepened until it was nearly always present. Only distance eliminated it, and Liara suspected that even that barrier would largely fade with time. And the deeper melding during their lovemaking came easily now, almost without thought. Severing the link now was what required effort. Biting lightly at her lower lip, Liara focused and drew a sharp breath when the bond between them ceased. Seeing Lisbeth without being able to feel her … it hurt, and the fact that Shepard seemed no less distressed at the loss only made it hurt more.
She felt fresh tears rising, spilling onto her cheeks. "Beth, I'm so sorry!"
"Hssshh." Lisbeth stretched out over her, not quite settling her weight, scattering feather-light kisses over the asari's face as she spoke. "Just takes a little getting used to, but it's just like our first time." A lingering kiss on the lips and she drew back to look into Liara's eyes, a faint smile touching her mouth. "Remember?"
Oh, yes. Liara remembered that quite well, and she managed a shaky laugh. "I remember," she confirmed. "But Beth, I'm – not sure what it is I want you to do." Did she want Shepard to hurt her, humiliate her? Had Feron's abuse left that need hidden deep within, primed to awaken and ruin the happiness that she had found?
But a glimmer of confidence had returned to Lisbeth's eyes. "Good thing they taught me how to improvise in N7, then," she quipped as her hands began to drift over Liara in slow caresses. "If you don't like something I'm doing, just tell me to stop."
I know. Half an hour ago, the notion would have been inconceivable, but as another tug confirmed that her hands were securely restrained above her head, Liara's heart refused to cease its breakneck pace. She closed her eyes, forcing herself to focus on sensation: the warm slide of Shepard's hands against her skin, the heat of her breath, the first soft touch of her bondmate's lips to her own, asking, coaxing. Nothing but gentleness, tenderness, and Liara felt herself melting into the kiss as fingers teased along the contours of her crest, sending the first sparks of arousal dancing beneath her skin.
Lisbeth showed no hesitation, but neither did she rush: slow, deep kisses combined with hands in drifting unhurried paths over bare skin soon combined to have Liara's heart racing for reasons far removed from fear. She tipped her head back, baring her throat to her bondmate's lips, and arched into the caresses, apprehension quickly dwindling as desire rose.
"Beth … please," she breathed. The restraints on her wrists were a frustration now: not because she wanted to escape, but because she wanted to wrap her arms around Shepard and draw them together: mind, body, and soul.
Beth paused and lifted her head, brown eyes inquiring and touched with gentle humor. "Know what you want me to do now?"
Liara nodded. "Inside me … now. Please?" She could feel her eyes dilating to black, the urge to meld feeling stronger than she could ever remember now that she was restraining it.
Lisbeth's smile made her heart take flight. "Gladly," Shepard murmured in the moment before her lips claimed Liara's again. One hand slipped up to cup the back of the Asari's head, deepening the kiss. The other dipped purposefully downward, gliding across her belly, then lower, and Liara pressed her heels into the mattress, rocking her hips to meet the first, gentle thrust, moaning at the delicious feeling.
A hungry sound thrummed in her lover's chest, but Shepard maintained the slow pace, sensation building on sensation: every kiss, every caress, every stroke feeding into the rising tide of desire. Deprived of her hands, Liara twined her legs around her bondmate's hips, arching up into every touch. There was no fear now, no shame. Only the inexorable feeling of her release building, cresting and at last sweeping her away, her cries rising over Lisbeth's tender murmurings.
She sank back to the bed, feeling breathless and delightfully boneless, opened her eyes to find Shepard regarding her with a tender expression. Deep brown eyes flickered briefly upward to the headboard, then back to hers.
"Do it."
Liara didn't need to ask what Beth meant. The biotic surge tore the restraints asunder as if they had been made of tissue, and her bondmate's low laugh was sweet in her ears as Liara pulled Shepard into a fierce embrace, dropping her mental barriers for what she knew was the last time. The feel of their bond reestablishing and Shepard's mind flowing with hers once more was wondrous beyond words, and she willingly abandoned all sense of time to rejoice in the reunion.
A third awareness, hazy with sleep and querulous with hunger, touched their minds as they curled together some time later, and Liara slipped from the bed, padding down the hall to the nursery. Hannah whimpered once as she was lifted from her crib, but her budding fretfulness soon subsided when her diaper had been changed, and when Liara took her back to the bed to let her nurse, she was soon radiating lazy contentment.
"Thank you," she said softly to Lisbeth, who had encircled mother and child in her arms and was resting her head on Liara's shoulder, every bit as content as their daughter. "I know I can't say that I'll never remember him again, but I know now, beyond any doubts, what I want." She turned her head, kissing her lover gently. "You. This. Always." She drew a slow breath, released it. "I never wanted what he did to me, and I didn't deserve it." She'd said the words before, but never had she felt them so deeply. She turned her gaze back to her daughter, feeling a protective tenderness for this tiny creature that she had never known was possible, understanding now the violence that had churned in Aethyta's eyes. "I want Hannah Benezia to know that for herself, to never go through what I did."
Lisbeth chuckled. "Kids don't always listen to parents," she remarked, reaching out to let a single finger trace along the tiny cheek. "I know I didn't," she admitted ruefully, "but we'll teach her the best that we can." She pressed a gentle kiss to Liara's temple. "He'll never be able to hurt you again."
"No," Liara agreed, feeling the relief spread through every fiber of her being as the truth of the words settled into her soul. "No, he won't."