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"I was kneeling in the chains of my master"
Meat Loaf (For Crying Out Loud)
"It's a rather long story Harry. Do you have time?" He smiles at me. "I have all day for you." I take a deep breath, smooth down the front of my robes nervously and clear my throat. "I'll explain everything to you then Harry; I'll start from the beginning. I'm sure you know all about people having expectations of you? Being the Boy-Who-Lived and all that" Harry gives a slight nod, indicating a yes but also a go on. "Well my family had a lot of expectations of me when I started at Hogwarts seven years ago too. My father sat me down before I caught the Hogwarts express and asked me to…or rather he ordered me to become friends with you. He wanted to get you on 'our' side." I wait to see how Harry will react to this; he however remains the same and waits for me to continue.
"By our side I mean Voldemorts side. But Harry, I just need to say that I'm not a part of Voldemorts side anymore. So, anyway, my father told me to befriend you. He said that you and I could be great together. Malfoy and Potter, taking the wizarding world by storm. And back then I thought my father, being so close to Voldemort knew what was best. So I prepared to…bring you to the dark side I guess you'd say. Plus, even if I hadn't wanted to, my father threatened me if I didn't get results." My voice breaks as I remember my fathers exact words that day. "He said he'd hand me over to Voldemort, turn me in as a traitor to our side. I know it may not sound so bad, but this Voldemort….I have no idea the horrors that would have befallen me if that were to happen." I shudder with this memory.
"So I boarded the train with every intention of beginning a dark partnership with you. I met up with Crabbe and Goyle knowing full well that our families were allies. The two of them added pressure to me, saying that they were excited to hang out with the one who would tame our lord's enemy. I knew then that I had to succeed because it wouldn't just be my father who spat on me if I failed but all the allies of the dark lord. When I heard somebody whispering 'there's Harry Potter' I knew this was my chance to introduce myself. I turned around then, and I saw you. You weren't what I had expected, you were so normal and you had some kind of charm about you. Just seeing you that first time sent a chill up my spine. At that stage I didn't know what that meant so I went ahead with the plan."
"I introduced myself and something else unexpected happened. You turned me down. I then had to report that you'd turned me down to my father. He yelled and screamed and…" My voice catches in my throat at the dredging up of these memories. "…and…he hit me. It was awful and I thought at that moment that he was going to give me to Voldemort. But then a different plan came up. He wanted me to spy on you instead. He wanted me to take the opposite road, become you're enemy and through small battles and arguments find your weakness. And so I turned hostile with you, as I'm sure you'll know. And you bit back at almost every comment I threw at you and your friends. We argued and became sworn enemies. Still though, no apparent weaknesses showed themselves. Again I had to report this to my father. And the same happened again. Verbal and physical abuse."
"I wasn't trying hard enough, he said. I didn't really want our side to succeed. So I got sent back to Hogwarts again, sent back this time with the same mission as before. Find your weakness. I was more ready than ever to bring you down. But then I realised what that chill down my spine had been that first day I met you. I had feelings for you, not just small ones. I had fully developed romantic feelings for you. I tried to hide this from my father and fellow Slytherin's by saying I was still working on it. It got harder and harder for me to come up with excuses though and my father became angrier by the second." I take a breath, trying to keep my tears from falling.
"And then it was second year and all of a sudden it was like, I had to have a girlfriend. After all I was a Malfoy we had everything we could ever want. So I caught Pansy Parkinson, she became my girlfriend to the public. She however wanted more, she wanted my body. I knew by now that I was definitely gay. I wanted you, she wanted me. And I had no idea what to do about it. She repeatedly tried to get me into her bed and all the Slytherin guys demanded to know why I wasn't fucking her yet. I faltered here and showed my own weakness. I said it was because I didn't love her. Everything exploded in my face. I got lectures from everyone. 'Love' shouldn't be in a Malfoy's vocabulary, a Malfoy has money, power, women. They don't need love. My father finding out about this blew up, beating me endlessly over the holidays. And when finally I thought it was over his patience ran out on me finding your weakness. And so he beat me some more." I stop my story to wipe away the lone tear that is starting to form.
"Those holidays were the worst time of my life. And what everyone didn't see was me, crying myself to sleep every night. Believing I was a failure. Plans started to form on our side, to bring you down. I went quietly along with them all these years. And then not long ago, I cracked. I told my father I didn't want to be a part of it anymore. He was livid. He disowned me there and then but before he could catch me I ran. Dumbledore actually took me in, which I'm grateful for. But….I was broken. So I went up to that balcony the other night to end my suffering. But you stopped me." My tears break forth and I am powerless to stop them. "Oh, Harry, thank you for saving me!"
Harry wraps his arms around my shaking body and holds me close to him. I take a few deep breaths and calm myself, knowing that in Harry's arms I am safe. "There's one thing that doesn't make sense to me Draco." I look into Harry's face and I see that he is deep in thought. "What is it?" "Well….if your father has disowned you and you're staying permanently with Dumbledore now why are the Slytherins still acting the same to you. Wouldn't they be your enemies almost now?" I look at Harry's pondering face and answer. "My father only disowned me yesterday, which was why I went to end it all last night. This news will probably get passed around throughout today. Tonight at Dinner, I won't be able to sit with them. I'll end up sitting at the end of the table, alone."
Harry's face falls as he realises the loneliness that I still have in front of me. "It's ok Harry, now that I have you, I'll be ok. Besides, there are a couple of other Slytherin's who don't support the dark side. They'll accept me." "Mmm" says Harry. "Yes, I've seen them, a girl and boy that sit alone all the time." I smile at Harry. "Thank you, for listening and not judging me." Harry smiles down at me and pulls me onto his lap. "As my boyfriend I do believe it is my job to support you through hard times. Is it not?" He grins at me and I can't help but match his large grin with one my own. "Thank you for being honest with me" I arrange myself comfortable in Harry's lap. My body leaning against his. I feel so safe here and now. And an emotion I never thought it would be possible to feel again is slowly slinking back to me. Happiness.
A/N: Hi all, please, please review. Reviews will spur me on to make this fic better and better. Without reviews I don't know that you care!
Thanks for the review prettybeka! And I have updated again soon! Hope you enjoy.