Dunder Mifflin Christmas gala
Christmas Eve

David standing outside the ballroom, telling interview camera:
"Dunder-Mifflin may be tight-fisted with money most of the year, but that all changes at Christmas. The annual gala has always been extravagant – including the bar. And I hope this year will be no different, so that Alan isn't too sober when he sees Robin walk in."

Tuxedos and elegant, flowing gowns milled about the ballroom; candelabra lights glittered in necklaces and champagne glasses. A string quartet provided an ambiance of great sophistication. A giant swan ice sculpture sparkled near the buffet. This was what Michael Scott was presently chipping away at with a butter knife, scraping ice shavings into his drink.

"Michael," David walked up next to him. "Glad to see you're making yourself at home."

"It's just, I like my wine a little more chilled than they're serving it," Michael muttered. "Can I get you any?"

"No thanks. I'm not drinking tonight, out of deference for Robin," David placed his hand on her back as she joined them.

"Ah, Mrs. Wallace! How does it feel to officially be the wife of a CEO?"

Robin just smiled guardedly at him, deep mistrust in her eyes since that afternoon's baby shower.

"So have you two run into Alan yet? Has he seen your news?" Michael nodded at Robin's belly.

David glanced around rather nervously. "No, we just got here. Have you seen him?"

"Nope. I sure hope you all talk before the awards ceremony, when he gives you the CEO plaque!"

"Me too," David checked his watch.

Just then, as astonished voice reached their ears. "David… Robin? Oh. My. Word!"

The trio turned around to find Paul Kendall and his wife staring open-mouthed at the bulge in Robin's silk gown.

"Is this for real?" Paul demanded.

"Yes it is," smiled David sheepishly. "We're due in a few weeks."

"How… why… what made you hide this from all of us until now?"

David rubbed the back of his head. "That's, um, personal. We had our reasons."

"Is everything all right with the baby?" Paul's wife asked, concerned.

"Oh yes, everything's perfectly fine! There were just some office politics we wanted to avoid."

Swallowing a huge gulp of iced wine, Michael arched his back before explaining loudly, "He didn't want Alan to find out and keep him from becoming head honcho!"

"What didn't somebody want me to find out?" came another voice, right on cue. Alan's.

Nobody said a word as they allowed him to enter their circle and discover it himself. Blinking, Alan quietly observed Robin, then looked at David, then back at Robin. This happened a few more times until, taking a thoughtful sip of his drink, he started chucking softly.

"Well now, looks like Santa's bringing you two a very unexpected gift, isn't he?" he closed his eyes, laughing harder. "Christmas certainly is the time for miracles."

"Uh, yes sir, it is," David croaked.

"Come on, there's no more calling me 'sir.' You're the CEO now, let that sink in!" encouraged Alan.

David cleared his throat. "I'll try."

Alan took another sip. "Wait a minute. Do I understand correctly that you hid this from me – and everyone else at corporate – because you were afraid I'd snub you for the job?"

Hands in his pockets, David looked apologetic. Alan nearly sprayed out his next mouthful of wine.

"What in the world?! You honestly thought I'd do something like that? That's discrimination, and it's illegal, you know. Can't do that to women anymore, and I don't know of anyone who's ever tried doing that to a man, or even thought to!" Alan was beside himself.

"I know, but you said you wanted someone with no distractions, and you sounded relieved that my kids are older…"

"Pssh, I also told my wife I was too old to travel cross-country anymore, but that grandson of mine has me flying over two time zones every other month! Kids always sound more intimidating than they actually are. And besides, with your new salary, you and Robin can hire a world-class nanny."

"So you're not upset?"

"Besides feeling wounded that you didn't trust me with such amazing news, no, I'm not upset," Alan shook his head. "And even if I were, it's too late to change matters now. You became CEO at 8:00 am Eastern Time today, and no tantrums I throw now could revoke that."

Visceral relief flooded David's system as he held Robin close. There were handshakes, hearty back pats, a few hugs and happy tears as everyone allowed joy to finally claim its rightful place. Robin and Mrs. Kendall edged their way over to a table and enjoyed baby-related talk for quite some time. After congratulating David several more times, Alan excused himself to prepare for the awards ceremony. Eventually it was just Michael and David standing by the frozen swan again.

As their smiles and laughter began winding down, David stared strangely at an undefined point in the distance.

"You okay?" asked Michael.

"Mm," David said absently. "I'm fine."

"That Alan, eh? Turns out all this time, you didn't have to worry about him at all."

Pressing his lips, David nodded. "Yep. Allll this time." Slowly, deliberately, he began to walk away. "All those massages… all those fun, fun moments…"

"…and ladies and gentlemen, I've been saving the best for last this evening," Alan beamed as he stood on stage. "Our final presentation is for a well-respected member of the corporate team who, in my opinion, has more than earned the role of CEO. I know he will fill my shoes with poise and professionalism, and lead Dunder-Mifflin to truly great things. David Wallace, please come join me on stage!"

Applause carried David to Alan's side, where he received a gold-edged plaque embossed with his name and title. He held it aloft until the cheering subsided.

"Thank you," he began. "Thank you all for making tonight wonderful for both my wife and me. I know we've shocked many of you…" he paused at the crowd's knowing laughter. "…well, more like all of you. Our reasons seem silly now, realizing that Dunder-Mifflin treats everyone like family, whether you're the CEO or a temporary worker. You're a terrific community to be a part of, and I can't wait to lead us forward. Thank you again, and Merry Christmas!"

More applause followed, and just as David and Alan were about to vacate the stage, another tuxedo suddenly appeared at the platform's edge. It was Michael Scott, shuffling drunkenly toward them with his bow tie dangling from his neck and a suspicious cue card in hand. Terror spread across David's face instantly.

"Not so fast, you guys," Michael hiccupped. "You thought you'd be the last one to give David a present tonight, Alan, but you were wrong. That silly plaque will just collect dust, but my gift will stay in your head forever, David!"

Michael stumbled over to the microphone. Both Alan and David were too petrified to move a muscle.

"And now, presenting for the first time in public, my homage to David Wallace, to the tune of Britney Spears' 'Oops, I did it again:'

Oops, I did it again, I'm too old for this, now everyone knows, my private business,

Looks like when I get home, can't leave my wife alo-o-o-one, not al-ways professional!"

"Security!" Alan shouted.

Michael outside the building, to interview camera:
"It's a shame they hauled me out before the second verse:

Oops, I did it again, another baby, my kids are ashamed, I'm pushin' fifty,
Maybe I'll give it up, Michael Scott can ado-o-o-opt, he wants-a-baby-too!"