A/N There are some slight obscenities in this chapter, nothing too graphic but interesting nonetheless.

Hiding out in his small house Severus sat by the fire staring into the flames in the pit. In one hand, he held a glass of Fire Whiskey and in the other, he tightly gripped his wand. His mind rambled over the events of a few nights ago; he could not shake the fact that Dumbledore was dead and yet not dead. Taking another swig of fire whiskey, he closed his eyes and let the warmth of the fire and the alcohol wash over him. Slowly he drifted off to sleep and dreamt of past days at Hogwarts.

flashback

It was a dreary day in the Potions classroom of Hogwarts, the students of Gryffindor and Slytherin were in groups trying to mix a proper draught of living death potion. Severus knows this potion is too advanced for most of the 5th years but he wanted to do it anyway. Soon there is a loud bang and a few screams from several of the girls and a few of the boys. Snape turned around to see what all the commotion was and noticed the raised hand of Hermione. "Yes Ms. Granger, what is it? Surely you of all people would not have messed this potion up." Severus questioned snidely.

"Um, Professor we have a loose penis over here," Hermione stammered in reply glancing down at the ground next to her with a blush, looking at a prone figure at her feet that was hidden by the shadow of a table

"What do you mean, Granger?" Snape asked, sure he had not heard the prudish bookworm correctly, as he stepped away from his desk and strode towards Hermione and Neville's table.

"Well, Neville put in the Murkweed before he should have and well the explosion caused his..his…thing to slide down his leg and onto the floor." Hermione said, taking a step away, her blush deepening.

The entire class began to rush over to see before Snape raised his hand to stop them. He walked around to Hermione's side of the table and saw Mr. Longbottom on the floor holding his crotch, unconscious. Hermione worriedly glanced up at Snape, "Should we take him to the Infirmary?"

"No we shall just leave him there, it will grow back…eventually." Severus intoned with a hidden grin and walked back to his own desk.

In complete shock that he had said that, Hermione turned to Harry who was standing next to her and hit him in the arm. "Take it and stuff it back into his pants." She said whispering.

"What? No way! I won't do it, I'm not going to touch Neville's penis, that's his to touch and besides that is just wrong!" Harry whispered back doing a wonderful impression of a fish.

"Oh for goodness sakes, you've got one so it should not be a problem for you to touch one!" Hermione said tapping Harry on his chest with her index finger.

"No I will not do it."

"For the sake of the poor guy, just do it Harry."

"Fine, but you owe me big time for this Hermione." Harry said stepping around her and kneeled down next to Neville.

"Oh, is Potter going to help poor Longbottom with his problem?" Draco chimed in after watching the entire scene unfold.

Hermione gave Draco the usual glare before turning her attention back to Harry. He hesitated a few times before he reached down with his head turned over his shoulder and attempted to grab the loose penis. The penis quickly sprouted arms and legs and tried to get away from Harry, reacting swiftly he grasped the flailing manhood. Reaching with his other hand Harry pulled up the waistband of Neville's pants and shoved the detached appendage into the pants. Grimacing at this action Harry stood up quickly and marched hastily out of the potions classroom.

Snape sat straight up and stared into the fire. He rubbed his eyes with his wand still in hand and groaned. Taking another drink of Fire whiskey, he got up to leave and go to Hogwarts to try to talk to Dumbledore.

Dumbledore awoke suddenly from his sleep, getting slightly cramped in his small picture frame. Unlocking the glass, he pushed it open and glanced around the office. Sliding down onto the floor of his cubby, Dumbledore swung his legs and scooted towards the edge of the picture. Turning around onto his stomach Dumbledore slid down onto the desk. He landed with a thud onto the desk and knocked over the bowl of Lemon drops in the process.

Looking down to his feet, he frowned and jumped off the desk. Pointing his wand at the glass, it swung close and latched shut. He flicked his wand again at the sprawl of lemon drops and the reassembled themselves into the bowl and hopped back onto the desk. Phineas placed his hand over his face and shook his head. "What are you doing?" Phineas asked leaning forward in his chair.

"I am going for a walk around the grounds, do you mind?" Dumbledore said glancing at him before popping a lemon drop in his mouth with a smile. He then walked over to where the pensive lay in its enclave, and tapped the mirror behind it.

The mirror turned around to reveal a large map of Hogwarts. He touched the roaming icon of peeves and dragged it over to the infirmary and into Madame Pomfrey's office with his fingertip. He tapped on the bubble that said speech and spoke clearly, "Pomfrey, Professor Dumbledore wants to play a game of hide and seek, and says tag you're it," before moving Peeves to the third floor corridor and making him fill the key holes with wads of gum.

Madame Pomfrey scratched her head and moved out of the infirmary and into the hallways, lighting her wand she began to search the portraits. Dumbledore tapped the map again and it turned back into the mirror. He grabbed another lemon drop off the desk before heading out the door. He started down the stairs meeting Minerva along the way. "Oh, hello Minerva, I'm off to play Hide and Seek with Poppy before Snape arrives. Do be sure to let him into the office if I do not return in time. Thanks."

He continued his trip down the stairs, paying no more attention to the woman. Minerva waved a limp hand and groggily mumbled something before stopping abruptly, turning back around, and then walking into the office. Blinking blankly she sat down behind the desk and fell asleep, not even realizing she had run into the supposedly dead Headmaster.

Dumbledore tiptoed quietly through the halls being careful not to wake any of the portraits. He found the statue of the humpback witch and slid behind it. Crouching down he waited patiently for Poppy to find him. Hearing the sound of footsteps at the other end of the hallway Dumbledore held his breath. The soft glow of a lumos incantation reached his gaze and the dark from of Severus stared at him. "Professor what are you doing, aren't you suppose to be in your portrait?" Snape questioned, shifting his weight uncomfortably.

Dumbledore held his fingers to his lip and shushed Snape. "Shhh, be quiet…I am playing hide and seek with Poppy; go away before I am caught." Dumbledore said with a child-like grin as he waved Snape off.

Snape turned on one heel and blinked a few times before shaking his head and starting to walk back down the hallway. He stopped and marched back to the statue; looking behind it, he could not find Dumbledore there. Rubbing his eyes, he continued towards the Headmaster's office. Dumbledore let out his breath and slid down the wall where he had been bracing himself above Snape as he re-searched the statue.

Dumbledore peered around the statue, making sure Snape was out of sight before coming out. He skittered down the hallway randomly flattening himself against a wall or the floor when he heard the slightest movement, whispering, "Skitter, skitter, skitter," repeatedly as he went. Peering around corners slowly, Dumbledore made sure Poppy was not in sight.

Soon he found an empty portrait, opened up the pane, and stepped inside. Closing it behind him, he continued to skitter through the portraits, ignoring the bizarre looks of the portrait inhabitants. Coming through one portrait that just so happened to lead onto the great hall he watched as poppy turned the corner, giggling loudly. Dumbledore snorted and saw light out of the corner of his eye, hiding behind a tapestry in his current portrait. Poppy giggled on past his portrait completely ignoring him. He peaked out around the tapestry and watched her walk by before skipping off in the opposite direction.

Dumbledore soon came to the portrait of Sir Cadogan, and tripped over the knight's boot. Dumbledore froze and looked around him like a dear caught in the Headlights. Sir Cadogan poked Dumbledore in the butt with his sword. He jumped up and ran off away from him; Sir Cadogan followed his disturber in hot pursuit. Tramping through the portraits, they both made more noise then Dumbledore would have liked. Dumbledore and Sir Cadogan came to a portrait in the first floor corridor when they saw a light coming towards them, Dumbledore pushed open the glass and climbed out.

Sir Cadogan tried to pursue him but was stopped by some unknown force. "Get back here you daft git, no enemy of mine runs away, come here and I'll bite your knee caps off." Dumbledore glanced around the corner to find Poppy staring him in the face. "Professor, how… what… when did you get out of your portrait? " She asked while taking a few steps backwards, peering at him curiously.

Dumbledore scratched the back of his head and grinned. "I suggest we go to your office to explain everything Poppy." Dumbledore said grabbing her by the arm and leading the bewildered mediwitch down the hallway.

Severus slowly opened the door to the Headmasters office and peered in, seeing Minerva drooling onto a pile of papers he shook his head and sat down near the fire gazing absentmindedly into it.