Snape appeared semi-gracefully through the floo into the library at the Riddle Mansion, as he came through he knocked over Voldemort who was standing by the fireplace. "Oh hellos Severus, glad to see you have arrived." Voldemort said from under the disheveled Snape.
Pushing himself from off of the Dark lord, Snape stood up and dusted himself off. He reached down and helped Voldemort up from the floor and bowing before him. "Sorry about arriving so late master but I was held up with other matters."
"Not a problem Severus, now that you are "severed" from Hogwarts..." Voldemort snickered, snorted, and slapped his knee in amusement at the small joke he just made.
Snape raised in an eyebrow in concern. "Anyway," Voldemort said regaining composure, "I was looking at my image in the mirror and was contemplating whether or not to apply to be on the Muggle TV serious The Swan and get a makeover, what you think?" Voldemort said glancing in the mirror again and then back at Snape.
"Lord I really don't think that now is the time to be concerned with your looks, don't you think that your current situation will frighten people more?" Snape questioned stepping away from the fire.
"Oh what do you know Snivellus, you are a greasy git and do not need a makeover." Voldemort intoned looking in the mirror and stretching his face one way or the other getting different views of how to change himself.
"You know, I kind of look like a pigeon." Voldemort said raising an eyebrow and turning to face Snape.
"I would disagree sir." Snape said keeping a straight face and trying not to grin.
"You agree and you know it, now for some music." He pointed his wand at the door and several leprechauns appeared in the doorway. "Play me a jig." He ordered.
The leprechauns began to play and Voldemort started to sway with the music, while still facing the mirror. He then jumped around to face Snape, who jumped back startled, and bobbed up and down and began to flap his arms while walking towards Snape like a bird in flight. "I am the lord, the dark lord, the lord of the pigeons; no one opposes me because I will coo at thee and run towards thee causing fear in every face of those who see me, the lord, the dark lord, the lord of the pigeons." Voldemort chanted flapping around the room like a pigeon and cooing while orbiting Snape and doing figure eights.
Snape put the palm of his hand against his head and shook it. They both have gone insane, Voldemort and Dumbledore the daft coons he thought. Voldemort was now cooing wildly, jumping on the couch behind Severus, knocking over side tables, and causing a ruckus.
"Come on Snappy poo, come and coo with me." Voldemort said circling around Snape and jutting his head in and out.
Snape just rolled his eyes and walked out of the library and away from the annoying coos of Voldemort. He nodded his head as he walked down the stairs past the slithering Nagini. Snape shook his head as he walked down the stairs, rubbing his temple at the sound of Voldemort cooing as it echoed down the hall. He came upon the parlor and several of the Death Eaters were sitting there drinking fruit punch in china teacups. "Oh hello Severus, what is that noise coming from the library?" Lucius asked.
"Well our lord has lost his sanity and is flapping around the Library pretending to be the lord of the pigeons." Snape said taking a teacup from Crabbe Senior and sitting in an empty side chair.
"Oh so he thinks he is a pigeon this week is it? Well last week he thought that he was a gopher, so it is a change for him I suppose." Goyle Senior said grabbing a peanut butter cookie from the plate sitting on the coffee table.
Lucius idly rubbed his nipples through the fabric of his robe. Snape looked over at him with one eyebrow raised. "Well Narcissa wants me to get my nipples pierced she says that it would be extremely hot, what do you think Severus, how long have you had yours pierced now?" Lucius asked still rubbing his nipples.
"I…well…7 years now." He said defeated and taking another drink of his fruit punch.
"Really, wow, why did you do it?" Crabbe Senior questioned.
"Um, well Umbridge thought that I would be even hotter with pierced nipples." Snape said sighing.
"Wait, so you and Dolores, the ministries Dolores?" Goyle Senior said shocked.
"Yes, but not anymore, it seems that she is having a fling with the Assistant Percy Weasley." Snape replied cringing.
Everyone in the room shuttered and closed their eyes for a brief moment, trying to get out the image of toad Umbridge having sex with thin Percy, before opening them and drinking from their teacups. Soon Nagini slithered under the coffee table and into the kitchen. The echo of Voldemort became increasingly louder down the hallway. Soon Voldemort was in the doorway of the parlor with the band of munchkins (I mean leprechauns) behind him, they were playing stayin' alive by the Bee Gees. Voldemort started to disco with his lips scrunched up.
Voldemort pointed his wand at the lights and shades and they turned off and closed. Then two random lights appeared and Bellatrix and Narcissa in Vegas Show girls outfits holding giant plume fans in front of Voldemort. Pretty show music started to play and the leprechauns were dressed in tuxedos and bow ties. Bellatrix and Narcissa flounced out of the way to reveal Voldemort in a black leather pants and a fish net shirt. The two lights reflecting off his pale skin. The music changed to Dragostea Din Tei by O-Zone. He vocalized every word and did a beautifully choreographed dance to it. The two back up dancers followed his every move in unison, while several lesser-known death eaters flashed different colored lights at Voldemort from the tips of their wands from behind the couch. Crabbe and Goyle senior, Severus and Lucius, did a magnificent impression of a fish as Voldemort wrapped up his interpretive dance.
Voldemort did a fabulous heel kick and Bellatrix and Narcissa covered him up again with the plume fans. The lights returned to normal and Voldemort disappeared, leaving them to their fruit punch. The other death eaters walked out of the parlor as if nothing had ever happened.