Berret threw the final sequence of switches to slave the Wraith's helm control to Moya's docking net command beacon.
"Navigation system offline. Helm now at your control, Pilot," the Shrike reported over the comm channel.
"We have you, Berret. Welcome home to both you and Chiana," Pilot responded in turn. "Moya would like to suspend your ship in the decontamination curtain for a few hundred microt more than standard procedure. The commerce world you just departed has a history of higher than normal levels of microbial life, and we do not wish to contaminate her or our crew members with something unknown."
"As you say, Pilot. We will wait until you clear the ship through the process," the ex-Enforcer replied before switching the comm link over to stand-by. He unlocked the chair rail and slid the pilot's seat backward away from the cockpit controls, then swiveled it around to face his sole companion on the trip.
"Did he say how long this would take?" asked Chiana in mild curiosity from her seat on the rear flight deck at what was the defensive systems station.
"No," Berret answered as the ship came to a gentle halt inside Moya's massive landing approach bay. Through the cockpit windscreen they could see the sterilizer array position itself on its overhead track assembly and began to bath the smaller ship and its occupants in its flickering beam. Beneath the craft, and unseen by the crew, was a twin to this array performing the same task to the ship now held stationary by the docking web. Berret knew that the decontamination rays would penetrate the hull of the now unshielded ship and killed any unnatural microbes or bacteria on the passengers aboard also.
Chiana drummed her gloved fingertips against the armrest of her chair.
"I hate these extra-long decons," she said idly. "They always make my skin feel creepy crawly."
"The rays are non-intrusive… you should not be able to feel anything," Berret countered absently.
The Nebari tisked and rolled her eyes at him. "It was just a figure of speech, dimbulb," she shot back. She scratched at one arm and frowned. "I'm just getting antsy… this is taking longer than I want it too… and what I really want to be doing as soon as possible is bathe. I really need a bath."
Berret glanced at her and said, "Yes" with an agreeing straight face.
Chiana suddenly smirked in challenge. She wasn't going to let her new friend get one over on her quite so easy. While pranks were still something new to the Shrike, the stealthy insult was something he was becoming very deft with… thanks to his constant exposure to Rygel… and herself.
"And I'm not the only one," she quickly countered. "You can use a bath too… probably more than me seeing you're bigger!"
The Shrike raised one eyebrow slightly in consideration, and then nodded after a moment.
"Yes," he said again, still with a straight face.
Both sides of Chiana's lips turned downward in disappointment that the Shrike wasn't going to rise to the bait and deny his equally un-fresh state of cleanliness, and start an enjoyable bickering match with her.
A microt later the smile returned to her beautiful face as she choose to continue another route of attack.
"So then… you'll join me in the keel pools this time then?" she baited.
"The shower unit in my quarters is sufficient enough for the task," Berret replied while shutting down a number of no longer needed ship systems while they waited.
Chiana was ready for the just that dismissive reply and pounced.
"You promised you'd try it next time… and this is next time," the girl struck back. The smirk grew on the Nebari's face, knowing she had him dead to rights.
Berret sighed and turned back to her. "Bathing in the Caloric pools sounds like a waste of time. Its far easier in the quarter's units."
"But not as fun!" Chiana shot back right away. "Everyone does once in awhile. Besides, Pilot says the crew using the pools for bathing once in awhile is beneficial for Moya. It helps circulate the Caloric nutrients throughout the pool and the soaps we use help clean the flow-supply lines. And the positive ion particles leave you feeling tingly all over after being in there."
"I see no advantage to feeling 'tingly all over'," the Shrike responded in turn.
"Ohhh…!" Chiana groaned in mock frustration. The gray girl left her seat and in two bounds covered the short distance between them and landed in the ex-Enforcer's lap facing him. Berret tilted his head in mild interest as the Nebari draped both arms around his neck.
"There's not suppose to be any advantage in feeling tingly," she explained, now in full seduction mode. "It's just suppose to feel good and that's the only thing about it." She leaned slightly forward and rubbed her cheek against his in a show of Nebari affection. "I've shown you plenty of things before that are only done just for the pleasure of it."
Berret felt a sudden rush of warmth despite himself. It wasn't from the fact that the lithe girl was sitting so close to him in his lap, or the insinuations she was making about the things she had taught him over the last few weekens. He was well use to Chiana's almost erotic teasing by then.
What was making him uncomfortable was her casual use of cheek-to-cheek contact. Zhaan had told him not to recently about the meaning of the gesture between Nebari, and the intimate circumstances it implied.
He was sure what to think about many things as far as this type of touching was concerned. Did Chiana mean it in its tradition sense, or could it be possible she wasn't aware what it meant – which was highly unlikely? Also if she was aware of the meaning – which again he considered was the highest probability of the matter – could it be she was only doing it to flaunt Nebari custom, as she was occasionally inclined to do as the mood struck her?
And if she did mean it in the sincerest sense, was it proper for him to accept it as such? After all, they had only known each other a short time… and he had been what he once was. Perhaps Chiana wasn't fully aware of what having been a Shrike Enforcer entailed? She might not wish to give her affections so freely to someone who had lived the life he once did, if she had known. Zhaan had only helped him barely scratch the surface of his lost memory… and he hadn't liked what he found there so far at all.
Perhaps Chiana would like it even less?
Berret slightly shook his head to banish the thoughts for the moment. Chiana was in a playful mood and he'd found that his new friend's antics more often than not lifted his spirits. Sometimes it was best, and most surprising in the end, to just give in to her desires and leave worry about the past for another time.
He just wished her cheek against cheek rubbing didn't full him with such an odd feeling of thrill.
The Nebari mistook his moment of contemplation for stubborn resolve to avoid going to the Caloric pools with her. She twisted her pretty lips of black satin up and hauled out her final weapon.
Her lower lip presented itself in a well-practiced pout.
"And you promised too," she said sadly. "You told me you would never willingly break your word to me."
Berret heaved a theatrical sigh; the gray girl wasn't the only one with a few manipulative tricks. The Shrike had plenty of chances to observe and learn from every member of Moya's crew. Besides, he knew that a great part of the enjoyment for the crafty gray girl was thinking she had succeeded in bending him to her will… though sometimes he wondered if that were not truly the case despite what he assured himself privately.
It was a strange false victory in a way, but it always seemed to please Chiana in some manner, so at some times he let her have it without resisting too much.
"So I did," he admitted as if in defeat. "Very well. I shall meet you to bathe in the keel pools after we land and the Wraith is berthed."
Strangely, Chiana's cheeks flushed blue with more excitement than he believed the moment should have really called for. Perhaps he had missed something of importance in the interplay?
"I knew I'd win!" she announced happily and then threw her arms back around him in a huge hug before he could reconsider his capitulation. Her silky cheek again found his, and moved this time with more vivacity. Her skin against his felt oddly warm and almost as if it held a slight electric charge just below the surface. The sensation clouded his thoughts and put any reservations to an involuntary rest.
After a few microts, Chiana suddenly moved backward and regarded him with a budding frown on her beautiful features.
The ex-assassin tilted his own head in unspoken question to the abrupt change in disposition from the girl.
Chiana put one hand against her cheek and rubbed at it, and he had the sudden notion that maybe the odd sensations were not natural after all. Perhaps they did bring something back with them from the commerce world they had just visited?
"And you desperately need a shave," she told him a moment later.
Less than an arn after the Wraith was secured, Berret padded barefoot into the pool chamber located in the center of Moya's amid-ship bottom tier.
The sound of splashing told him Chiana had already arrived and had availed herself of the pool's ionized liquid to refresh her travel-wary self.
He rounded one corner of the massive pool where Crichton had secured a length of shoring plank to the edge. Most of the board overhung the pool at the deepest part, and its spring-like quality allowed the human to use it to propel himself higher in spectacular dives. Though why anyone would wish to do something like that only for pure enjoyment was beyond him. It served no logical purpose that he saw. Never the less, he heard that John had taught Aeryn and even Chiana herself some diving tricks using the plank.
Chiana turned in the pool and saw him as he entered; she raised one pale arm to wave and called a greeting to him that was lost in the echo of the large chamber. She was alone on the tier and began to swim toward him. The ex-Enforcer idly noted that the girl was swimming nude, which was the normal case for Chiana regardless of who else was making use of the pool at the time. He recalled hearing of several instants where Crichton had attempted to rebuke her on the habit. A task which served only to make Chiana laugh with wicked glee, and then after, further determined to swim sans covering of any sort. Privately, she revealed it was also particularly amusing to her the way Andar would blush and excuse himself from the area on some occasions.
Oddly, no one spoke to Zhaan when she made use of the pools in the very same unclothed condition.
For himself the topic actually mattered very little other than a mild curiosity, but for the sake of tranquility among the crew he decided to conform to the custom of the majority. Berret chose to wear the same type of Peacekeeper under shorts that John and the rest of the male members of the crew wore for such activities. Even Aeryn Sun and Malika wore PK issue under garments in the pools.
The Shrike dropped his towels and other grooming paraphernalia off to one side of the pool and crossed to its edge. In one smooth motion he kicked off the side into a sharp dive and split the water with nearly a splash. That was the only proper way to enter the water he thought to himself as he leveled off and propelled himself forward beneath the surface. High, noisy dives served only to alert your prey that you were coming for them.
He sensed where Chiana now waited for him in the center of the pool and pushed upward to meet with her. He did not consciously know where he'd learned to swim, whether it was natural for him from his hidden prior life, or something that the microbes supplied for him as a skill for assassinations. The others seemed to enjoy it as a recreation; to him it was only an ability he might have needed at some time to serve his one-time purpose as a Syndicate Enforcer. Perhaps he should spend more time evaluating the activity solely for the purpose of enjoyment?
Berret reached the point where the Nebari waited for him and allowed himself to drift upwards. He broke the surface noiselessly behind her. The girl sensed him and twisted to face him with a grin on her lovely face.
"Nice of you to join me," she said perkily.
Before he could reply, the girl surged forward and playfully shoved his head back underwater.
The Shrike soon caught onto the new game of dunking one-upmanship, which Chiana soon grew bored with when she discovered that Berret could hold his breath for several microns without distress.
Next she challenged him to a few races, which in turn surprised Berret that she could more than hold her own against him. He considered the fact her smaller frame, and more lithe body was better suited to moving through water than his own.
Before too long they moved to the shallower section of the pool where Chiana had left bottles of soap to use while bathing. To his surprise, Chiana insisted on helping him lather his body. His mind told him it was a more efficient method of conducting the cleansing ritual, but at the same moment it slightly confused him because it was strangely enjoyable.
Almost, if not, as enjoyable, when Chiana informed him it was his turn to return the favor for her. Chiana however made it plainly obvious that she enjoyed the help by cooing loudly and entwining her limbs around his on occasion – which made it somewhat difficult to complete the task, but he did manage finally.
The chore complete, Berret finally left the pool, despite Chiana's teasing for him to stay in and play some more with her. As he dried himself, the Nebari gave up attempting to entice him and with a sly grin sauntered out of the pool to join him.
Berret had seen her naked countless times, but this time sometime struck him as different. Watching her seductively pace toward him, he finally got why John would reprimand her about being nude and not Zhaan. The older Delvian handled her nudity just as naturally as if she had been wearing clothing. Chiana on the other hand oozed sex… and she knew she was doing it, and she used it like a weapon.
The Shrike almost barked a laugh at himself for being so clueless. If he were ever to fit in and have a normal life, he would have to learn to recognize such things in their context and to respond properly to them.
He made himself take a new look at his crewmate and saw her in a different light.
Chiana's short bobbed hair was momentarily tamed, wet and tightly curved to the sides of her head, making the angles of her face stand out more. For one of the first times he could recall, her dark eyes weren't half-hidden by pale snowy banks… making her even more erotically beautiful.
Her slim body looked sculpted out of pure white marble, the water still glistening off toned muscle as she moved. Everything from her dancing eyes, to satiny lips, down to her small feet was perfect.
She was exquisite.
His gaze caught a glimpse of his own body at with its peripheral vision. Distracted he looked and was reminded of the scars that crisscrossed his chest and most other places on his lean frame.
Compared to her he was damaged… unpleasant… her total opposite.
He hadn't realized it, but she had come to a stop before him and was holding a pose. He finally remembered to look up at her and her beauty made him forget his thoughts.
And he saw a new look in her eyes. She knew he had seen her in this new way for perhaps the first time. And she was pleased. Nothing else seemed important for the moment except the rare genuine smile that was adorning the gray girl's lips.
"Its about time," it sounded like to him that she murmured under her breath.
Chiana moved forward and with the slow grace of a dancer draped her arms around his neck. Her lips found his and hungrily demanded his attention. Berret enfolded the smaller woman in his arms and lifted her from her feet in response. Chiana wrapped her legs around his waist to draw him closer as her tongue invaded his mouth.
Beret welcomed her.
The Nebari's slim arms wrapped tightly around him, her hands cradling his head and working themselves into his hair as she held him close. He learned quickly this new secret communication as he returned her kisses with the same fever.
Chiana's coos soon turned into small moans of desire.
The Shrike discovered something new and unexpected at that moment; some aspects of pleasure can be almost indistinguishable from pain in some instances. The gray girl's tiny whimper brought a series of flashbacks through the ex-Enforcer's mind. Painfully, some were of past victims' pathetic verbal dissenting of their eradications at his hands. More recent and vivid memories brought the sights and sounds of instants where he had witnessed Chiana in pain from beatings given to her by past adversaries, even occasions of attempted rape on more than a few opponents' parts.
Hearing that all too familiar sound issuing from Chiana because of something he was doing made a wrong connection somewhere in his psyche. It had become too ingrained, too attached in his experience to be acquainted with anything else but torture and death.
It nearly made him ill to hear it coming from her, and knowing he had caused it.
Berret involuntarily found himself snapping away from the beautiful Nebari girl, prying himself free in an unreasonable growing horror.
Luckily, Chiana had somehow guided them down toward the floor, so she really didn't have far to fall and did not injure herself when he pulled free. Instead she looked up in stunned bewilderment at the Shrike who was using his legs to back-pedal in a crawl away from her.
"What's wrong!" she asked while scrambling forward a bit closer him on her hands and knees.
Berret face was ashen and his eyes wild, strangely they had not tinted silver like on other occasions when the ex-assassin felt threatened or distressed. That only concerned Chiana more because this was something new and odd to her. "Berret? What's the matter?" she continued. "Talk to me!"
He only continued to stare at her, eyes wide and his breath coming in heavy gasps. She could tell something horrible was going through his mind, but she couldn't tell what it was and she wasn't sure if it would be wise to reach out and touch him or not. The girl had seen various versions of that look on the Shrike's face, after he had awoken from nightmares.
"Not me! Not me! Not me!" kept repeating in Berret's head. "I didn't do those things to her. It wasn't me; I'd never hurt her. I am not like them…"
But some part of himself reminded him he had done things just as bad, if not worse, to others… and yes, he had been just like them in the past. A different time, a different place, or a different set of circumstances, and he might have very well been the one that might have torture or killed Chiana.
He squeezed his eyes tightly shut, trying to banish the thought from his conscious.
Chiana relaxed a bit when she saw him force his eyes shut. He always did that after a particularly bad dream, when he tried to push it from his mind and find his way back to what was real.
The young thief knew it was then safe to crawl forward and offer comfort. She did just that, forgetting she was still naked and coming close to him. Chiana gently took his face in her fingertips and urged him to look at her, to focus only on her voice.
"Hey, its okay," she told him calmly, "It's passed… and it wasn't real."
Berret gradually opened his eyes and she smiled tightly as she realized he was back with her. The girl reached up and stroked away a rogue lock of hair from his forehead.
"Do you want to tell me what it was about?" she asked.
She thought he would refuse as he normally did, but he surprised her by saying, "A memory flash…" the Shrike replied. "One that became disjointed… with other events."
"Oh…" the girl said thoughtfully. "Something that had to do with me?" she next asked.
Berret frowned as if he decided he didn't want to say anymore.
Chiana stroked his cheek. "Its all right. Zhaan says it's better if you talk those episodes out," she urged.
"I… I was reminded of the injuries you took on Casallus Four," he supplied finally.
"I see," the Nebari said neutrally, not wanting to reveal her slight confusion on the statement, as Berret had nothing to do with the serve beating she had taken in the gambling house there. Why it should be bother her friend now she didn't understand. Though the injuries had left her moaning in her bedchamber for nearly a weeken, she had to admit that her crewmates had put paid to that situation.
John, D'argo, Aeryn, Andar, Malika, and Berret himself had returned to the gambling house, and as Crichton like to say…opened up a can of "whoop-ass" on those responsible. She smiled idly to herself for a moment… she liked that Erp expression, "whoop-ass", and used it as often as possible, much to John's annoyance. So she was either over-using it, or not using it in the right context… but she didn't care, it was fun to say.
And she had that "little-sisterish" urge to tweak Crichton once in awhile, just as she had Nerri when they were growing up.
"It also reminded me of what nearly happened on the trading station," Berret added.
The comment made her snap out of her side thought and center on the there and now.
"What?" she asked lightly and then she saw the look on the tall ex-Enforcer's face and immediately understood. "Oh… OH!" she exclaimed. "That…" she finished more quietly as it all seemed to fall into place.
Sometime ago at a stop over at a trading station orbiting a mining moon, Rygel had gotten into trouble trying to arrange a side deal for some contraband liquor. While searching the lowest levels of the station for the small Dominar, Chiana had run into one of the rape gangs that prowled the sub-levels of the spaceport.
They had nearly succeeded in doing just what they had the reputation for when Berret, who had found Rygel, arrived on the scene.
While normally resilient to whatever might befall her for good or bad, Chiana chose not to particularly dwell on the incident if she were able because of the way Berret savagely slaughtered most of the gang members who were to slow, or too stupid to run away while they could… not that they didn't more than deserve the massacre, mind you.
More surprising was the way Rygel drove his Hoverthrone into the skirmish right behind the Shrike and used his small hideout blade to slash the throats of some of her attackers. Afterwards, the stuffy Hynerian steadfastly refused to acknowledge that he did any such thing. Saying that it was beneath his dignity, and highly foolish for a Hynerian ruler to risk his royal person for the sole purpose of gaining revenge for an insignificant space-way tramp like herself.
Chiana couldn't bring herself to rise to the insult or take much in the way of serious offense. She had seen the look of fury on Rygel's face, a look that almost matched the one Berret himself wore, and knew that the annoying little toad did care for her… whether he'd admit it publicly or not.
And it touched her in a way she never thought it would.
Still, seeing Berret like that had scared her more than the rape-gang did. She wasn't sure which disturbed her more, seeing him kill without emotion, or seeing him kill while enraged.
And he had been very moody for days after the event, which unsettled her even further and made it harder for the young thief to put it all behind her. It was almost as if the ex-assassin were constantly on guard while being around her. She caught him on more than one occasion watching her out of the corner of his eyes, as if he expected something bad to happen in the next moment.
She had been very glad when things finally seemed to ease their way back into what passed for normal between them.
As she replayed both those events back in her mind, the answer intuitively fell into place for her.
She was more than aware she was an enthusiastic lover; it was one of the qualities about herself that she took great pride in.
The Nebari lyricists had a saying, "Laughing looks like crying with no sound." To Berret, the moans of a pleased lover were no different than the whimpers of a victim being tortured. Unfortunately, he had plenty of the latter and none of the former in his prior life… and a whole lot of examples lately where Chiana's involuntarily cries were due to hurt and not contentment.
Part of his mind couldn't distinguish the difference and he rebelled at being the cause… plain and simple, or so she thought. Zhaan was a lot better at all this psychological dren than she was, she considered, but she gave it her best shot anyway.
"Hey… its okay," she told him. "You're not like them, those others who hurt me… the ones who tried to use me. It's okay for you… I want you to touch me."
She took his hands and placed them on her cheeks as she said this. Had she been attempting to solely sexually seduce him, she might have taken his hands and placed them on her breasts or some other place to encourage him. By taking his hands and placing them on her cheeks herself in the Nebari fashion, she was trying to tell him something more, of something much deeper between them. She could only hope that somehow he understood the gesture.
She placed her slender fingers on his cheeks in turn.
"And I want to be able to touch you too," she finished, "You would never hurt me for anything, this I know just as I know my heart beats."
Berret gazed at her, looking somewhat lost for the moment, but trusting in her.
"Its hard… sometimes… to separate…" he tried to put into words.
"I know," she said as she quieted him by moving in and now placing her cheek against his, feeling the warm flush of intimate excitement that filled her from the contact. A feeling that simple sex never brought to her and she wondered if he could feel it also, hoping that he could feel it with her. "We'll take it slow… there's no hurry to get there. I'll show you how to separate the difference."
"How?" he asked.
Chiana smiled as she resettled herself in his lap. She took both his hands in hers. She brought them up to her lips and place a gentle kiss on the scared knuckles, and then brushed them in turn with both of her cheeks. "Let him see that there is nothing about him that I can fear," she thought to herself.
"We'll touch," she told him.
She leaned back in to stroke her cheek against his once more, and her nerves hummed with the contact, making her beam with new warmth slightly. "We'll feel…" the girl added.
Moving back a little so she could look him in the eyes again, she smiled gently.
"And we'll trust," she finished.
"And that is it?" Berret queried.
"The best I can do," Chiana replied, "You promise to try?"
The Shrike regarded her for a few microt before answering.
"Promise," he finally answered in a low voice.
Her grin grew a bit wider with that.
"Good. That's good," she confirmed, and eased her way back in to kiss him deeply.
And Berret wanted to believe.