I will never Be with You
A/N: This one is alittle different from my normal BB/Rae fics.I wanted to try and see what it would look like if I wrote a fic where BB did not choose Raven over Terra. As per usual nothing ever turns out how I want it to. But understand that I wanted Raven to seem bitter,and hurt.And at the same time I wanted her to seem slightly nonchalant.And if you have a problem with my pairing for this fic then tough luck.I'm sure all of you know how to use the back button.
Disclaimer:I own nothing.Especially not the TT.They belong to DC comics and a bunch of weird dorky comic guys.
He chose her.Even after all we'd been through, all we'd survived together he still chose her.
I shouldn't be hurt. Shouldn't be mad. After all it's not like we were ever really together. A few shared kisses,heated glances, the typical teenage lust. Besides I always knew that she held his heart. He'd given it to her long ago, in the shape of silver jewerly box.
But somewhere along the line our relationship had changed. We'd become closer to one another, shared our lives before the Titans with each other.We'd begun to rely on one another more than we should've. We' begun to build a bond, that was slowly but surely going beyond the bonds of friendship. I should've known better, should've stopped it. But I didn't.
I'd begun to care for him. I'd begun to see him as something more. He was no longer the skinny green elf, who never failed to annoy me. He was now the man who fascinated and frustrated me in equal turns. I'd begun to notice the little things about him, like the way his bottom fang always stuck out, the soft downy fur that covered his body, the slight point of his ears, the way his hair had grown out and now shaded his eyes ever so slightly. The way his eyes would light up when he saw me, the way they would follow my every move. I thought those things were important.Thought that they mattered, that he'd been noticing me just the same. Obviously I was wrong.
I shouldn't sound bitter.I'd always known that he cared for her.Always known that I was the runner-up, the sloppy seconds, per say. But it's hard to ignore the painful ache around my heart every time I see them together. I've tried to hide it and for the most part I've suceeded. The only person who can see through my mask is Starfire. She asks me daily if I am alright, if my aching heart is okay. She understands what it's like to have the one you love ignore your feelings.I am grateful to her for all she's done.
She knows I care for him. I can tell by the way her fingers clench a little tighter around him when I pass. Her eyes watch me, making sure I stay away from what she has claimed as hers. As if she's afraid I'll try to challenge her for his heart.She needn't worry. I would hate to put him in the postition of having to consciously choose one of us. It's easier for me to just fade back into the shadows,be his friend again.I can deal with him unconsciously choosing her. It doesn't hurt so much if I look at it like that.
Besides I've decided that this will be the last time I dwell on this subject. The last time I dwell on the fact that the man I love is with another woman. Here on this paperis the last time and place that I will speak of this. When I am done I will burn this and force myself to let go.Force myself to face the truth.He chose Terra over me. And I will admit this one last time right here...it hurts.
A/N: Just to let you all know, I typed this in my schools comp lab.Why? Because my comp is dead. And just so you know how much I adore you guys,I wrote this in one sitting even though some one next to me is releasing the most putrid smells from their body.Enjoy you guys.