A/N : Kai muses over the loss of Tala, his best friend.
- To Alex, my partner in crime. I'll never forget you.
Disclaimer : I don't own Beyblade or any of the characters.
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I have known for just a couple of hours that you are dead but I don't think it has properly sunk in yet. Only a few months ago we were close friends out and living for the world, discussing what we wanted to be when we were finished with our teenage lives. You'd always told me that you were going to work toward becoming something worthwhile so that your parents would be proud, you told me you could be a doctor or a counsellor, maybe even a teacher at a school for kids who'd had a hard time growing up, just like you. You told me that you'd get married and have a family and that you'd always try your hardest to make up for the lousy grades we got together in first year of college – But you have to admit, those grades were worth all the fun we had and the good times we shared together. I know I'll never forget those days and I know I'll never forget you, my friend.
In truth, I don't know whether to be angry or sad, or even happy that you're somewhere you can't get hurt anymore, but I just wish I could have seen you one last time to ask you why – Why do you have to leave the world? Why do you have to do this to yourself? Or the one that gets me the most, why don't you talk to me? Or someone, anyone. I know that it's a bit of a loss telling you this now but I would have done anything to help you, I would have put my own life on the line to see you smile again like you used to. Christ, your smile was infectious! Remember that time in the science lab when we laughed for the whole lunch hour because every time we tried to stop, one of us would do or say something to make the other laugh. Yeah, they were such good times. But we can't go back now, it's over… For you. I'm still here though, and I will be for a long time because I found out that the pain doesn't last forever; it fades and if you'd stayed, maybe you could have found that out for yourself, you could have been happy like I am now – We could have pulled through this together like we did before when it was me in a state, when I was the one that was hurting. You helped me. I just wish that you'd given me the chance to help you in return.
That seems a long time ago now but it was only last January when you walked into my hospital room to tell me how stupid I was and how much I had to live for. You sat by my bedside and made me remember all the good things I had in life and you pulled me along so vigorously every time I tried to give up; every step I took was so difficult but you helped me get there, and every time I fell I knew that you'd be there to yell at me to get off my ass and be stronger, forcing me to carry on when most people would have labelled me as a lost cause – The one forgotten. I remember the day you took me along to that help group too so that we could both sort out our lives and live for the better, you were doing it for me, I know… I never thanked you enough. I know that you didn't want to 'grow up', you didn't want to stop messing about, trying out drugs and drink and staying out all night just to see if the sun would rise the next morning, but I… I was doing it for you. For you and for the rest of my friends who found it so hard to accept me back into their hearts after everything I'd put them through, but in the end it was you who gave everyone the strength to do so. It was you who gave me the strength to stand once again on my own two feet and right all the wrongs I made in life.
It feels like a lifetime since I last saw you even though it's only been a few months, but the realisation that I'll never be able to hang out with you again is tearing me apart. I haven't moved from my place here on my bed since I found out that you'd taken a few too many, and I don't know how long it will take me to carry on with my own life, right this second it feels like I may never be able to move again. My tears are all cried out now, there's no more left, just an empty shell of foreboding emotions that are hating you and loving you at the same time. Why. There's a part of me that understands – a big part of me – but I still can't believe that you would end everything without talking to me first. You and me were partners in crime; two friends that would take on the world someday… I really believed that, you know. Maybe not literally, but metaphorically I believed it. Right from the day we met we said we'd get through life together and always be the best of friends… Now I wish I'd called you more often to tell you I still cared. I do… I do still care and I always will, I promised you that one.
Do you remember the day we met? You were the only other decent guy in my tutor group and hell that was fun, the way we'd play everyone up and live for the moment. Yeah… You rocked my world! Another thing I won't forget about you is the fact that, along with Tyson, who seemed so adamant that I wasn't as hopeless as I thought I was, you were the one who gave me strength to make a move on the person I deemed as the love of my life – We're still together, by the way, me and Rei, and I don't think that's going to change. I'm so glad that you two got along in the end, I was never quite sure that you would. When I heard about your death, when Bryan told me, when I was crying and Rei's arms were securely around me, I remembered the way you did so much for us and we talked about it and, although my heart still felt like it was going to stop beating, we laughed about the stupid stuff we all used to do and the crazy antics we got up to that nearly always got us into trouble. Hey, remember that time that you, me, Rei and Bry got caught outside the club with all that weed and got put into a magistrates court cell for two days? I still can't believe how unlucky we were to get caught! Still, the laughs we had over it afterwards were great – I'll never forget that.
All in all, I don't think I'll ever forget anything we did together; the laughs, the tears, the joys, the pain – We got through it all together and I'll admit I'm angry with you for not being here to continue sharing such amazing times with me and the rest of us, I know that we all forgive you for doing what you felt you had to do, even though you didn't have to – We were all here for you and we'll never ever forget you. You're away from the pain you suffered for so long now, and I get the feeling that now you've got the strength to smile again.
Rest in Peace, my friend.
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