Fill Her Up

23rd June 1998 (Ron is 18)

RON: I was dusting between the gaps in all of my built up paperwork with the feather of my quill, a most bored look on my face, when I noticed Harry, Neville and Seamus standing in my open doorway grinning at me.

"How long have you been there?"

"Long enough to wonder what the hell they're paying you for Weasley!" Neville chuckled.

"Who are you calling Weasley? I don't go around calling you Longbottom do I?"

"Well it's either that or Mr Weasley and I'm sorry Ron but I just can bring myself to do it," Neville said with an apologetic shake of the head.

I knew what he meant actually. I had been leaving the ministry one day last week and a pair of lost children who had escaped from the nursery were fighting over which one of them asked 'that man' which way they needed to go to find their mummy's office. I looked over my shoulder for 'that man' for a good thirty seconds or so before realising that they had been talking about me. When did I become 'that man'? I didn't notice it happening and, quite frankly, I didn't like it one bit.

"Seriously mate you look so bored it's like I'm staring at you in history of magic class at school," Seamus smirked as he leaned against the doorframe and folded his arms.

"Stared at me a lot back then did you?" I said with a artfully arched eyebrow to let him know that he'd just made a very strange statement indeed.

"You're funny, I suppose you have time to think of all those funny things to say while you're sitting around not working all day," he huffed.

"I can't help it if it's a slow day can I?" I snapped, sitting back in my chair.

Harry wandered across to my desk and thumbed through the pile of paperwork filling my in tray.

"Seems like this needs doing rather than dusting to me Ron."

I scowled at him.

"Aren't you supposed to be on an assignment all this week?"

"Cancelled, Shaklebolt got called in to oversee an internal arrest, apparently one of the Aurors was on the take so we've been buddied-up with Aurors to observe the day to day process of Auror life," Harry explained.

"Yeah," Seamus snorted, "when Neville and I found him he was filing case notes into alphabetical order."

I cackled at that and Harry glared at Seamus and Neville who didn't even attempt to hide their amusement from him.

"And you dare to mock my glamorous occupation?" I said before clearing my throat and looking down at the transfer request I was supposed to be filling in as my secretary Melanie walked in between Seamus and Neville and smiled seductively at Harry before glaring at me.

"Mr Weasley have you finished it yet?" she said coldly.

I signed the bottom of the parchment and handed it over to her.

"There you go, sorry it didn't work out."

She huffed and stormed back out again, I saw her grabbing her coat and several things from her desk before walking out and slamming the door behind her. All four of us flinched and Harry looked down at me with wide eyes.

"You didn't just sack her did you? I liked her."

"You just liked her because she flirted with you every time you came round," Seamus chuckled.

"I didn't sack her, she asked to go to another department," I said, defensively, she had been my third secretary in as many weeks.

"Another one?" Neville groaned.

I shrugged and slumped down in my seat.

"Sick of walking in and finding me naked," I said it in a dreadful imitation of her voice before snapping with frustration, "I'm not sick of always being naked in the middle of work?"

Harry gave me a pitying look before casting his gaze around the office.

"You got rid of anything that could set you off though didn't you?" I nodded, "And you can't be getting stressed in the job, blimey I'm amazed you can stay awake."

"What was that filing-boy? Do you want to come and be my secretary?"

Seamus looked at his watch and clapped his hands together.

"Right working day is done Weasley, I'm taking you for a drink come on."

I looked around at the mess I still had to work through and began to reluctantly decline before Harry grabbed me by the elbow and dragged me out of my chair and around the desk.

"Come on mate, the hectic workload of the world of Auror recruitment can wait until tomorrow can't it?"

"See the thing is I really do need to replace whatshername, now that all that McKenna business..." I stopped myself before I blew my cover, Harry had noticed my slip-up, "...what I mean to say is that now Shaklebolt's put away that crooked Auror I've got to look into replacing him haven't I?"

I held my breath and hoped that I'd done a good enough job of it. Seamus and Neville seemed convinced.

"Yeah well, I've hardly seen anything of you outside this place and your flat since you were diagnosed Ron and you can't stop your social life just because of a little thing like this," Harry said as he pulled me over to the cloak stand and threw my jacket into my face.

"Did he just call it a little thing?" I asked Neville, "Did I hear that right?"

Neville shoved me out the door and Seamus followed on behind while they accused me of making mountains out of mole hills.

We had been in the pub for three hours now and I was definitely more relaxed about everything.

"...'cause it's, it's not," I failed to stifle a burp before continuing with my fragmented sentence, "it's not the end of the world is it Neville?"

Neville was shaking his head in response to my question but he didn't seem able to stop.

"It's not. This is not going to ruin your life Ron and you are not going to disappear willy-nilly..."

Harry grimaced and covered his face with his hands.

"Don't talk about his willy nilly!" he groaned with disgust.

Seamus cackled and slapped Harry on the back.

"I'm with you pal," he said, "if I never see his willy nilly again for the rest of my life I'd still have seen too much of it to last me ten lifetimes."

Neville seemed determined to make his reassuring point to me and shook my shoulders where he had his arms around them, to steady him or me I'm not quite sure, and soldiered on with a serious look on his face.

"You are going to settle into your nice relaxing job and there'll be no stress and you've got your lovely girlfriend at home and there's no stress between you is there?"

Seamus almost fell off his stool on hearing that.

"Are you talking about Ron and Hermione here?" he exclaimed while Harry threw his head back and roared with laughter, spilling his firewhisky.

"Shhhh," Neville said, spattering me with spit in the process, "What I'm saying is, you can get a grip on this and beat this problem Ron. Hermione can find out what exactly it was that Dumbledore was doing to keep you anchored in the...the now..."

"It's the present Neville," I mumbled as he went on with his rousing speech.

" Then you can stop doing it and you can get back to normal and everything will be alright and nobody has to see you naked ever again."

Seamus slapped his thigh and Harry had tears in his eyes as they laughed so hard it looked as if it was painful.

"Not even Hermione!" Seamus managed to say, causing Harry to have to lean on the bar to hold himself up.

"I'm talking about people who don't like that kind of thing," Neville growled in frustration, before leaning in close to me and attempting to whisper, "because that time last week when I came home and you were there, that freaked me out."

Neville had a haunted look that I would occasionally see in the faces of veteran Aurors and I patted him on the back.

"I know man, I know," I couldn't stop myself from saying the first thing that came into my head, "just be thankful your gran wasn't visiting you that weekend."

Neville looked horrified and that just made me crumple into my own fit of laughter, which Neville soon fell victim to after his double firewhisky to recover from the image I had just planted in his head.

We had been laughing so hard that our faces ached and Harry and I walked along Diagon Alley after saying goodbye to Seamus and Neville when we left the pub, chattering about all my new relaxation techniques that hadn't worked over the last three months since my time epilepsy had returned.

"Y'see the thing is Harry," I mused as we wandered down the empty street and towards the Leaky Caldron, "I couldn't relax while I was worrying about not being able to relax and you can't just force relaxation of yourself can you?"

Harry shook his head and tapped the magical wall into the muggle world with his wand, nothing happened, he swore and tried again in a different order and still nothing, and turned to me with a frown.

"The wall's broken."

"Here let me," I said and I poked at the wall with my finger.

"I think it works better with a wand Ron."

I snorted.

"Oh yeah!"

Just at that moment the wall opened and I stared in awe at my finger for a moment before seeing that a patron of the Leaky Caldron coming through from the muggle side had activated it from there. I felt slightly disappointed.

"See why can't I have a magical finger instead of magical epilepsy?" I grumbled as we stepped through the wall, which closed up behind us.

"Life's like that isn't it?"

"You know," I began and didn't continue the sentence until we were already halfway down the muggle street we had staggered onto in total silence, "I was really worried about coming out tonight."

Harry slapped me on the back and I tried not to fall over.

"I know you were mate, I'm glad we convinced you 'cause I meant what I said Ron, I've missed having a laugh with you."

"Yeah we have had a laugh," I agreed as I leaned against a lamppost outside a public lavatory, "and I think it's done me good y'know 'cause I'm relaxed aren't I? Aren't I relaxed Harry?"

"If you were any more relaxed you would be laying down," Harry nodded.

"If this lamppost wasn't behind me I would be."

We grinned like idiots for a few seconds before I looked up at the few stars visible in the night sky from such a brightly lit city as London was. I longed for all the muggle electricity to fail one night so I could see the stars the way I could at the Burrow.

"I worry so much about staying relaxed that I never can," I said aloud to myself, Harry punched me in the shoulder in an effort to cheer me up, "Sorry, just ignore me. I'm enjoying the feeling that's all."

I smiled at my best friend and he seemed to be quite pleased that he'd found a way to help me unwind at last.

"Come on," I grunted as I pushed myself away from the lamp post and opened the door of the public lavatory, "let's go home."

I stepped into the ministry approved apparition point and took myself to the vandalised telephone box at the end of our street. As I fumbled for my keys on my way to the flat I heard a crack behind me and turned to see Harry stepping out of the phone box.

"Have I got something of yours?" I frowned, wondering why he had followed me.

"Nah," he grinned before stepping back inside the phone box, "just seeing that you got back ok, night Ron."

"Yeah, night," I waved as I dropped my keys on the pavement and bent over to pick them up while the sound of Harry disapparating echoed through the darkened street.

When I crept into the flat and kicked off my shoes I listened for Hermione and couldn't hear a thing. I figured she must have gone to bed ages ago. I pulled off my jacket and stripped to the waist before swaying into the bedroom and crashing out on top of the covers of the bed. I was almost asleep immediately but for a hand running up my back and fingers snaking in my hair.

"Did you have a good time?" I heard Hermione mumble into her pillow.

"Uh-huh," was all I could manage before drifting off until morning.

August 10th 1998 (Ron and Hermione are 18)

HERMIONE: I got the call at about eleven thirty. Ron was drunk again. He'd gone to the twin's place this time, not even able to make it to the Leaky Caldron to get a room for the night like he usually does when he gets himself in too much of a state, and they had flooed me to let me know he was alright and not to worry.

Not to worry, how ridiculous is that?

I had my coat on before the flames had even returned to their correct colour and flooed right into their living room.

"Oh no I'm in trouble now," Ron grinned stupidly when he saw me step out of the fireplace before scowling up at George and hissing, "You pair of dirty sneaks."

"Yeah, I'm actually over here Ron," Fred said with undisguised annoyance.

He looked an absolute mess, well he hadn't been looking good for a while now, and he stank of alcohol. He was slouched in one of the big leather armchairs by the fireplace and hauled himself out of it when he saw Fred's anger rising.

"You don't want me to stay, that's fine, I can go somewhere else."

George grabbed Ron and physically walked him over to the fireplace.

"You are going home and going to bed and we will be having serious words with you in the morning."

"Oh no," Ron snorted, "serious words! Is that even possible? Do you two do serious? Do serious for me now!"

I took one of his hands and his amused face looked away from his brothers to turn on me and fall into an expression of sullen boredom.

"Why are you even here?" he asked me with a roll of the eyes thrown in for good measure.

"I've come to take you home, come on."

He yanked his hand away from mine.

"You've come to take me home. Oh have you now? Have you come to take me home or have you in fact come to nag me?"

"Ron behave," Fred warned him, he really had lost his patience with him by this point and was barely keeping his voice down.

Ron rubbed his face tiredly and walked away from the three of us.

"Oh what is everybody's problem?"

"Our problem Ron," Fred barked, "is that we don't like watching you do this to yourself every bloody night."

"Don't watch me then!" Ron yelled, "Am I asking you to watch me? Am I asking any of you to watch me?"

Ron and I were on very thin ice at the moment, I was sick of fighting, and I was sick of hearing him apologising every morning and promising to stop and then getting a floo or an owl from somebody in the middle of the night asking me to come and get him. He was spending all his time at work and in the pub, I sometimes felt as if he only came back to the flat for somewhere to throw up.

This was getting to be too much now though, he wasn't my Ron anymore, he wasn't anybody's Ron. He was a spiteful and volatile drunk who was breaking my heart little by little and I couldn't let him do it anymore.

"Ron I understand what you've been going through but this is not the way to deal with it ok?" I tried to reason with him.

"You understand?" he looked at me as if I was crazy, "You understand nothing. How do you understand?"

"I understand that you think drinking is the only way to keep you in the present Ron and it's not."

"You know what? It isn't perfect, I never said it was perfect but it works Hermione, I haven't travelled in almost two months, it's working."

"At your expense Ron," George said, folding his arms and daring his little brother to argue with that.

"Money isn't everything," he shrugged with that egregious grin plastered all over his face.

Fred snapped and stormed across the room to growl at him

"At the expense of you becoming an arsehole!"

Ron moved forward and fixed Fred's glare with one of equal ferocity.

"Takes one to know one."

Fred was about to punch Ron's lights out when George grabbed his arm as it flew back and pulled him away.

"Leave it Fred, that's not going to help anyone is it?"

I rushed past the twins and shoved Ron into the wall behind him and spoke in a level but firm tone.

"You think that because you haven't travelled in all this time you've been drinking that it's a permanent solution do you? Well do you?"

"I'm not an idiot," Ron mimicked my calm speech as he lowered his head to answer right into my face.

"You could've fooled me," Fred called over from the spot where George was still trying to keep him a fair distance away.

"Well why are you doing it then?" I asked him, pulling back from the foul scent of his breath as I did.

"I've been waiting for you," he said as he pushed himself away from the wall and stomped over to the window while doing his hurtful impersonation of my voice, "I can recreate Dumbledore's spell in no time, with all the facilities at my disposal at work we can create whole new strains of magical suppressants, I can anchor you in time before the month's out you'll see...I'm still waiting Hermione. Where's this sodding cure you told me was going to be so bloody easy to come up with?"

"Ron lay off now!" George warned while shoving a livid Fred down into an armchair.

He was right, that's what hurt so much, I had promised him I could do it as soon as I heard about Dumbledore's spell. I had sworn to him that I wouldn't rest until I could recreate the Tempus stabiliser spell and that was six months ago now. I work on it in my spare time and I take time at work when I shouldn't do to try and come up with any new angle I hadn't thought of but there are other things I am committed to at work. I have deadlines to meet and a boss to keep on the good side of. I've read everything I could think of to read and I've researched every avenue until I get to a dead end and nothing helps.

There's nothing I can do for him and he knows it.

"Drinking is not a cure Ron," I said as I struggled to hold on to my emotions.

He looked back at me from the window and seemed to stare right through me in that same devastating way he did when he wasn't talking to me during our third year at Hogwarts.

"It's all I've got."

I stormed over to him undecided as to what I would rather do, hug him and never let him go or push him out the window in fury. I stopped just short of touching him and stared up into his face.

"You've got me."

He leaned forward and whispered his awful words into my ear, with something bordering shame and spite.

"You see the thing is I happen to know that this time next year I don't have you," my stomach flipped over and I felt like screaming, "you get sick of me. I've got nobody."

Before I could shake the knot out of my throat he had pushed past me and stormed out of the door, Fred and George running in hot pursuit, while I put my hands to my face and tried to hold myself together.

He was wrong, it was a mistake; I would never leave him because of his time travelling. How could he think that? What on earth could he have seen to make him think such a thing?

There was the sound of a door slamming downstairs and moments later George walked back into the flat with his head hanging low. He looked up at me and rushed over to give me a hug, I broke down and cried onto his shoulder while wondering where Fred was.

And Ron, I wondered what on earth was happening to my Ron.

RON: She had to know. I had to tell her. I know that there was that future where we were getting married and where I…we…well anyway I know that I saw that as well as everything else but I couldn't wait around for her to up and leave me. It's best that we end it now. Maybe I can change the future if I try. Maybe I can make her life better by removing myself from it before schedule.

"Have you eaten?" the barmaid asked me.

I had just stormed into the first place that I knew of in the muggle world that took wizard money and ordered a whisky before downing it and resting my elbow on the bar and my chin in my hand. I nodded to the raven-haired barmaid, she looked exotic, like an Egyptian princess or something, but her accent gave away that she was in fact from Liverpool. I had learned in my three months of heavy drinking that if, towards the end of the night, a member of the bar staff asked you if you had eaten they were just making sure you could handle the hard stuff they kept out of sight. If ever I was asked if I'd eaten by a barmaid or barman I would always say yes whether I had or not. Tonight I hadn't.

"Why?"

"Well I just got some good stuff in, fermented in Icelandic stills by Nordic Druids, seventy percent proof."

I wondered if she was being straight with me. I may have been blitzed but I was pretty sure that you found Nordic druids in Norway and not Iceland but you never know, they might get around while distilling their seventy percent proof alcohol.

"Go on then, make it a double."

HERMIONE: I've been waiting with Fred, George, Harry and Ron's parents for an hour now.

Both Ron and I carry a card with my parents' address and telephone number on it just in case we have an accident in the muggle world and an owl flew in through Fred and George's window just after Fred came back home telling us he hadn't been able to find Ron in any local bars anywhere. The note was from my father telling me that a muggle hospital in Liverpool had contacted him and informed him that Ron had just been admitted with alcohol poisoning.

We were all waiting in complete silence. Ginny was taking a breather from the tense atmosphere in the waiting room. She and Harry had fallen into quite a nasty argument just after the first doctor had come out to speak to Mr and Mrs Weasley and tried to explain to them what exactly a stomach pump was and why they were using one on their son. Harry had mumbled something about blaming himself and Ginny snapped that she wholeheartedly agreed with him. She had ranted and screamed at him that it had been his idea to take Ron drinking to dull his anxiety and that if he wanted pity he should go and find one of his female fans to give it to him.

We'd seen three different doctors so far, they all kept saying that Ron was stable but none of us felt any better.

I just want him back the way he was, in all his inappropriately naked glory. It turns out that there is something worse than watching somebody you love fade away before your very eyes to go time travelling Godric knows where or when and that's watching somebody you love simply fading away.