Close Quarters

30th September 1998 (Ron is 23 and Hermione is 19)

HERMIONE: At first I told myself I was just being paranoid about Lavender, it was all in my head and things have changed since we were all at school together, and for a while I had myself convinced but only for a while though.

We have changed since school. This isn't some silly little schoolgirl crush or some drippy melodramatic heartbreak, this is getting serious now and I hate to see the look on Ron's face when he comes back home every night. I know he doesn't want to tell me about the day but I have made him swear to me to tell me everything, no matter how upsetting it might be.

The first couple of weeks he kept it to himself, he said because he thought it was just his imagination, but when he walked in the door and threw himself down into his armchair with a weary huff I made him tell me what was wrong and he did. He told me because he knew he wasn't imagining it now.

Lavender Brown was moving in on him.

At first it was just a pat on the arm that lingered a little longer than was really necessary. Then she would come into the office for long chats about nothing in particular. He came back from an episode with a nasty gash on his head and she seemed to press up against him unnecessarily when she was healing him and then, and this was the thing that did it for me, she leaned forward to his newly healed would and kissed it better.

Ron had apologised for not telling me about it all that day, he had been trying to convince himself that she was just being playful with him, and I had told him I wasn't angry with him and for him to go on. I wanted to know what had happened to cause him to need to tell me.

"I came back from lunch and she was all tearful about something and when I asked her what was wrong she just ran out crying. So I went into my office and there was a pile of my spare clothes on the floor and the table lamp was smashed so I knew I'd been travelling back there from somewhere and Lavender had been helping me out like she's supposed to."

He had paused and I nodded for him to go on while gripping a cushion as tightly as I wanted to be wringing her neck at that very moment.

"Well I gathered up the clothing and repaired the lamp and Lavender came rushing back in and just threw herself at me," I almost tore through the fabric of the cushion cover, "she was hugging me and crying and just yammering on and on as if we'd been talking for hours about something..."

I demanded more detail than that. I wanted to know exactly what kind of things she had been saying to him.

"Stuff like," Ron had been wincing with discomfort at having to have this conversation with me, "she could wait, as long as it took she could wait and she wasn't ashamed of loving me and I wouldn't keep coming to her if I didn't want her deep down and that whatever she's done she wanted me to remember that she did it out of love and I have to remember that when the time comes..."

I had asked him what time and he had shaken his head and pulled me into a hug, which I returned when I realised just how disconcerting that day had, been for him.

"I mentioned something about an internal transfer, to try and put some distance between us y'know?" I nodded, "but she just burst into tears again and ran back out again. It's like she thinks I'm appearing naked in front of her because I want to."

I shushed him and we just sat together in the armchair in total silence until he drifted off to sleep and I went into the kitchen to heat something up for dinner.

I was in the lab with several test subjects when the owl showed up bearing a note from Lavender informing me that Ron was just on his way home from work when he had had another seizure so I was to expect him to be late for dinner. She also said that she would wait in the office for him to come back to be sure he was alright.

Something about that made my blood boil. She was waiting for him to come back to her in the nude so she could help him if he was hurt and give him something to drink when he needed it. I also didn't like the way she was owling me to let me know not to wait up for him in so many words, she was going to do it for me. She was lining herself up to replace me, that's what it felt like anyway.

"Miss Hermione Granger sir," a gravelling house elf called Tippy simpered at my feet, "I is glad you like house elves like Tippy and I is appreciative of you wanting to give us better lives and productive jobs and all you said before..."

I smiled at the house elf as he almost cringed as he spoke. This particular elf was incredibly formal and I was trying to get him to drop that but he would still call me by my full name and occasionally add the odd 'sir' for good measure.

"Well thank you Tippy, I'm glad you're coming around to see your usefulness and potential in society."

"Yes," he nodded," yes you is right. Tippy could be a healer and Tippy could be a teacher or a craftsman of caldrons and magical amulets with all of my magical experience. Tippy sees that he has potential Miss Hermione Granger but Tippy knows what job he wants to do. I like my potential but I just want to tidy up after a loving family sir. It is all Tippy wants and loves. I is wanting to look after people sir. Why is I wrong to want to make people happy?"

I heaved a great sigh and wondered how to go about answering that question when there was a knock on the window and I glanced up to see Ron, very well built and with shorter hair than I'm used to, waving at me from the cover of some bushes.

"Tippy would you be able to do me a great favour please?"

The house elf stood to attention with pride.

"Anything for Miss Hermione Granger!" he almost shook with joy at being given a task to do.

Several other house elves on the program ran over and tried to shove Tippy aside, one of them threw down a quill and job application form that I had spent three days convincing her to fill in and demanded that she be allowed to do a menial task as well, I raised my arms to silence them all and spoke to them as a crowd.

"I need one of you to fetch Ron's spare clothing from the locker and another one of you to get him something to eat and drink," as every single house elf ran in a different direction declaring that they would do everything and more all by themselves I shouted, "and I will pay you for the service!"

Every one of them flinched as they froze on the spot and Tippy begrudgingly stomped off to do as he was asked, seeming to feel obliged seeing as it had been he I had originally asked for help. I looked back out of the window where Ron was looking quite amused and gave me a shrug of sympathy. I walked across the lab and opened the window, helping him to climb through and marvelling at how muscular he gets in the future as I did.

"Please tell me it gets better?" I sighed as I looked around at the remaining house elves that were trying to find things to dust and tidy while Tippy carried the bundle of spare clothing over to Ron and presented it to him with averted eyes to protect his modesty.

"Thanks Tippy," he chuckled and the house elf flinched as they had never actually met before, I forced a sickle into Tippy's hand as he took it as if it burned him and ran away in apparent shame, "I'd like to tell you ya get somewhere with this lot but..."

I rolled my eyes.

"You can't divulge information about the future unless it's absolutely necessary blah, blah, blah," I said before grinning at him, my Ron impersonation was coming along nicely I thought.

"Well that too but I was going to say you always made me swear never to lie to you and I'm sorry babe but you've backed a loser here," he beamed that winning smile of his as he pulled a sweatshirt over his head and ruffled his short hair with his hand.

"You got your hair cut?" I said, never thinking I would see the day come.

It was his turn to roll his eyes now.

"I'm growing it out again, all mum's idea," he began to mimic his mother's fussing tone, "you can't get married looking like a scarecrow!"

I raised my eyebrows; this Ron was obviously coming from just before of after our wedding.

"So when are you coming from?" I ask him, nonchalantly wanting to discover the year of our marriage.

"2003," he said as he reached out for the huge jug of water that had just been levitated into the room by another resentful house elf who ran away from me before I could inflict them with the shame of payment, "why, when is this? I've obviously gone backwards if Tippy's still here."

He lifted the jug and drank straight from it as I held out a glass for him to fill. I laughed in wonder as he gulped almost half of it down in one go.

"Thirsty are you?"

He grinned and gave a shrug while wiping his chin.

"Well it's 1998."

His face seemed to change and he was being wary of something.

"What time of year?"

"Autumn," I frowned and he sighed and smiled again.

"I was worried I was putting you through it but that's all over and done with by now isn't it?"

"What do you mean? Do you mean the drinking?" I asked as he took another swig from the jug.

"Yeah, sorry about all that I was...well I didn't know how to cope back then did I?"

I smiled at him and hoped he didn't always feel the need to apologise for the couple of months we lost him to the alcohol.

"I don't know, you're coping pretty well right now," I said as I nodded him to come and sit down with me.

"Oh Godric Hermione you have no idea how much I wasn't coping..." he seemed to catch himself out and stopped himself from saying what he had begun to say.

I stared up at him with great concern for the person he had been five years ago, the person I was concerned about right now, and took his hand with a squeeze as I tried to get some reassurance.

"You weren't coping with the drinking?"

"No, no I didn't mean that. I didn't mean anything, don't pay any attention to me babe I've got all my dates messed up it's the end of the year right, everything's fine."

I narrowed my eyes and tried to read his expression, I could still do it but it was much harder than it usually was. I think that the Ron of the future must get better at covering his tracks and concealing those tell-tale signs, better but not quite good enough.

"So you become a liar in the future do you?" I asked with a scowl.

He tuts at me and shakes his head.

"Never can fool you can I?"

I shuffle my chair closer to him and hold his hand in both of mine now. His hand is much stronger and rougher than I'm used to but he's just as gentle as ever. I look up into his eyes, no longer partially hidden behind a messy curtain of vivid red hair, and try to find out just how worried I should be.

"So tell me what you weren't coping with Ron?"

He shifted slightly in his seat and looked me in the eye.

"Has the situation at work become a problem yet?"

I felt my stomach do a double back flip.

"This is about Lavender isn't it?"

That seemed to be all he needed to know and he blew air out of his mouth and shook his head.

"He's going to need you to trust him babe."

"Of course I do," I began to say, wondering why on earth my future husband would think that I had no faith in his younger self.

"And," he said firmly, "you're going to have to support him like you did for me in the beginning."

I didn't like the sound of that 'in the beginning'.

"Because work was nothing but stress and on top of coming down from the booze and all the epilepsy crap I had to handle coming home to you was the only thing that kept me going."

I stared up into his face and saw that he was remembering a painful time for himself and I leaned forward and kissed him before he smiled and feigned outrage.

"Miss Granger I'm a married man I'll have you know!"

We laughed and I took my married boyfriend out for lunch. He kept me company for three more hours at work before dozing off on the dissection table, which was only named that and not a description of its purpose thankfully, and vanishing fifteen minutes later leaving a pile of clothes on the tabletop in the sun.

I smiled as I tidied his things away. I was going to like being married to him.

1st October 1998 (Ron is 18)

RON: I had just got back from visiting myself a week ago today and was jumping up and down on one leg as I tried to get my trousers back on when Lavender burst into the room. She was in tears as she slammed the door behind her.

"I love you Ron."

I almost fell over as I yanked my trousers all the way up and tried to fathom where this sudden declaration had come from.

"What have I done to deserve that?" I asked as I fastened my trousers and reached out to pick up my shirt from my desk.

"My love is not a punishment!" she screeched, causing me to actually duck as if her indignation was some kind of missile being hurled at me.

"Sorry Lavender, I didn't mean it like that, it's just," I fumbled for the right way to express myself, "what have I done to encourage you?"

"Everything about you encourages me," she screamed as more tears cascaded down her scarlet cheeks, "You smile at me when you arrive at work every day. You make me tea, no boss I've ever had has made me tea before they've just treated me like their lackey, and you know exactly how I take it without ever having to ask."

"Lavender its just tea, nobody's ever made you tea without an ulterior motive before?" I couldn't get my head around this, since when were good manners a come-on? "Do you want me to treat you like a lackey? I can't do that, I could never treat you like that."

Lavender snorted at this statement.

"Why, because you respect me so much? Don't make me laugh Ron. I'm nothing to you, I never have been, and I don't need your pity."

"Well what do you need then? What am I supposed to do?"

"I need you to care!"

"Lavender I do, just not in the way..."

She didn't let me finish. Instead she grabbed my head, almost ripping off one of my ears in the process, and covered my mouth with hers. I forced my lips closed and shoved her backwards. She hit the desk with the back of her thighs and her momentum sat her down on top of it.

"Why could you never love me back?" she wailed.

"You know why."

"But I had you first! You were mine and she stole you away from me."

I had had enough of this little fantasy version of our relationship that Lavender had re-written inside her own head.

"I was never yours Lavender. We weren't...we were never supposed to be together, you know that."

"I know I love you no matter how badly you've hurt me in the past. That will never change Ron. Why can't you love me back? Why Ron, am I so disgusting to you?"

She began to slide off of the desk and move towards me and I took a firm hold of her by the shoulders and set her back down again.

"You said you had me first Lavender," I said calmly, in an effort to get her to lower her voice, "well you didn't, she did. Hermione always had me. We were a mistake. I don't want to sound harsh but it's the truth."

"How could you say that to me?" she whimpered to me, imploring me to take it back with her watery eyes.

I rubbed my hand up and down her arm for comfort.

"Look I'm sorry but..."

"Don't touch me!" she screamed as she jumped off the desk and paced away over to the fireplace, "I can't stand it."

I reached over to the transfer paper I had been trying to build myself up to hand her for the past week now.

"Lavender I think I should get you reassigned somewhere else in the ministry. Maybe if we weren't in each other's faces all day every day..."

"No!" she sobbed from the very depths of her body as she ran over to me and grabbed me into a desperate hug, "Please Ron, don't send me away, you need me. I help you with your travelling don't I? I cover for you and I keep your clothes waiting for you, and I get you food and drink because I know you're always hungry, and I have medicine and potions ready for when you come back hurt or sick. You need somebody to look after you Ron. Don't send me away, please."

I ran my fingers through my hair while she sobbed into my chest, I was so tired of all this.

"You make it really hard to be your friend you know that?" I sighed wearily.

"Let me, I'm sorry I promise I'll get myself sorted out, please let me be your friend Ron. Let me stay and look after you, as a friend and just a friend. Please?"

She was hugging me so tightly and I rubbed her back to try and calm her down some more. I really didn't want to keep her so close, it would be for the best if I just got her an internal transfer, but she might go over the edge if I rejected her in two ways at once. I heaved another sigh and she sniffed into my shirt before looking up at me, teary-eyed.

"Nobody else will look after you like I do. I'll explain it to Hermione if you're doing this because she's jealous."

I couldn't believe this. She really thought that was the only reason I wouldn't be with her, fear of getting caught.

"She's not jealous Lavender, she trusts me, it's you. She's worried about you, we both are."

"Let me stay Ron please, I'll never try to...not again, I'm sorry I tried to kiss you before. I'm..."

I couldn't let this go on any longer; we were just going round in circles now.

"You can stay Lavender alright?" I said, feeling more tired than I had in a long time, "You can stay, of course you can, just don't cry ok?"