Get Me To The Church On Time

14th February 1999 and 12th September 2006 (Ron is 18 and five months old, Hermione is 19)

"How do I look?"

HERMIONE: I've never seen Ron struggle to hold in a laugh so hard in all my life, it actually looks painful for him, and I glare at him ferociously and turn back to the mirror to finish straightening out my hair.

"No babe, don't be like that I didn't say anything," Ron struggled to say without crumpling into hysterics completely.

"You didn't need to say anything Ron, I know what I look like," I snapped and tried to slap some of the poofy bridesmaid dress down flat at my sides," your sister will pay for this one day I swear."

Ron was about to make one of his sarcastic comments when the doorbell rang and he wisely chose to run and open it rather than wind me up even more.

"Car's here," he called to me and I took a deep breath to compose myself before going out in public wearing a blue meringue and stepped out of the bedroom and tried not to notice the look of horror on the driver's face as he saw me approaching him, Ron turned to the man and smirked, "I think you're gonna need a bigger car!"

RON: I'm glad we don't have to go to the church together, she's not happy with me at all this morning. That bridal party is going to look like an explosion in a candy floss factory and Hermione seemed to resent my comparing her to a pigmy puff when I first saw her getting ready at eight A.M.

I've got to go round to Harry's to make sure he gets to the church before Ginny does otherwise she'll murder me and I can't return the suit if there's blood all over it.

"Oi groom, open the bloody door!" I yell through the letterbox at Harry's place.

"I hate your brothers, I hate your family, I hate our friends..." Harry was saying raggedly just before he opened the door and let me see the state he was in from last night.

His eyes were just open enough to let me see that the whites of his eyes didn't exist any more, taken over by red blood vessels, and he had two small grey hammocks handing from beneath each eye. His skin was pale to the point to transparency and he was just a mite unsteady on his feet.

"Morning Harry!" I bellowed into his face causing him to cower away from me like a vampire hiding from the sunlight.

"I hate you so much," he mumbled as he moved aside to let me in and rubbed his head.

I couldn't stop laughing as I made my way down the hallway and into the kitchen to make a pot of coffee for my hung over friend.

"How can you expect sympathy from me, of all people, I knew I abstained from that stag night for a good reason."

"Oh Ron your brothers are so evil," Harry moaned as he crawled into a chair at the kitchen table and set his head down gingerly on one of the place mats, "I wish you would have come."

I frowned at this and stared down at him.

"I'm sorry, run that one by me again please."

He rolled his head sideways to look up at me.

"Remember when you said you shouldn't come because nobody would dare get hammered in front of you because of your," Harry raised his arms into the air and made air quotations, "problem?"

I nodded and pulled up a chair beside him, pouring the coffee and setting it right beside his head.

"Well that would've been a good idea. Charlie wouldn't have been able to order that stuff that gets you wasted just by smelling the fumes."

"Green Dragon," I found myself informing him with a little too much familiarity for either of us.

Harry lifted his head off the table and looked me in the eye.

"Yeah, I take it there isn't a drink you haven't tried then?"

I smiled and shrugged before tapping the coffee cup beside Harry's head and told him to drink up. Harry forced himself to sit up and lifted the cup to his lips and sipped a little of the hot black liquid. He shuddered; I know what he means I can't stand coffee myself, before looking at me sadly.

"I really wish my best man could've been there, I'm such a prat for not having a sober stag night."

I laughed and smacked him around the head, causing him to wince.

"Don't be daft, there's no such thing as a sober stag night, and besides I'm here now looking after the wrecked groom aren't I? That's what best men are for."

"Best mates," Harry mumbled as he shook me by the shoulder and closed his eyes to drink the rest of his cup of coffee in one go.

"Now don't go all mushy, that's for later when I've got a camera and can truly embarrass you at work by showing the pictures of you crying like a baby to the hardened Auror faithful."

"You wouldn't dare," Harry growled at me.

"Oh wouldn't I?" I looked back at him with a raised eyebrow.

He rested his head back down on the table and sighed.

"I'm sorry I gave you a drinking problem," he murmured into the place mat.

I burst out laughing at this.

"I don't have a drinking problem mate. I think the one of us who has a problem with drinking is the one who can't lift his own head up."

Harry snored and I sat back in my chair and folded my arms with a huff. Ginny was going to kill him, then Charlie, well there was going to be a whole killing spree in general as far as I was concerned but at least I would be way down that list of names. I would just be the one who didn't get him sobered up in time. I chuckled to myself as I looked down at my comatose friend.

"When you see the state of Hermione you're going to lose your lunch mate!"

HERMIONE: I've been hiding in a corner while Ginny screams at her mother, Fleur and Luna for almost an hour now.

Fleur had run from the room in tears, Ginny huffing something about hormones and how she should never have chosen a pregnant bridesmaid, and I made an excuse to follow her out.

"...just to make sure she's alright Ginny, you don't want her following you down the aisle with mascara all over her face do you?"

"Unless we all did it," Luna said helpfully, "then it would look as if it was on purpose."

I found Fleur throwing up in the bathroom and sat rubbing her back for a few minutes before hearing a baby crying in one of the bedrooms.

"Oh no, Fleur I think Ron's just arrived, I just have to..."

"Go," Fleur waved me away, "I may be 'ere zum time."

"Is that little Ronnie I hear?" Mrs Weasley was shouting from the living room.

"It's ok Mrs Weasley, I've got him," I called back, still not comfortable with calling her Molly yet despite her insisting I do so ever since Ron and I got engaged.

"Don't let the little sod puke on your dress Hermione!" Ginny screeched up the stairs at me, causing the infant Ron to scream again.

I picked him up and cradled him in my arms, rocking and shushing him while murmuring into his beetroot coloured face.

"If you want to make a mess of this nasty dress you go ahead baby Ron, I'll thank you for it in eighteen years time."

His little face was still scrunched up and he was bawling his eyes out. I assume that had been why he had travelled in the first place, he'd got himself so worked up that he'd just popped out of his cradle or high chair and reappeared on the landing outside his parents' room. I kissed his little head and smiled, I never could quite believe that this time travelling baby was the same person as my own fully-grown time traveller. I'd seen baby pictures of Ron and said 'ahh' and embarrassed him by commenting on how much cuter he was back then but when you actually find your sexual partner in your arms only a few months old it isn't quite so adorable. In fact it makes me feel like a bit of a pervert.

"Can I 'old 'im?"

It was Fleur; having recovered from her prolonged morning sickness and followed the sound of screaming into Mr and Mrs Weasley's bedroom.

"Of course you can, you need the practice more than I do," I smiled as I handed him over.

Fleur cradled the baby and began to sing to him, a sweet French song, and soon he was calming down and dropping off to sleep. I smiled at the two of them as she sat down on Mr and Mrs Weasley's bed and pulled a blanket off of it to wrap around his little pink body.

"You're really good at that, a natural," I smiled.

Fleur smiled back at me and rocked the baby gently.

"It is ze ozzer veela trick I can pull, much more use zen winning ze gentlemen over in my opinion."

I sat down beside her and punched my enormous dress down so I could see the baby over it.

"Well this is one gentleman that you've won over for life I think, no wonder he took such a shine to you at Hogwarts, he must have been craving the veela mojo all that time."

She giggled.

"I 'ave never 'erd eet called mojo before, I like eet."

We were enjoying out little moment of tranquillity with the baby so much that we didn't even notice him disappearing again until Fleur was about to rock him again and found herself cradling an empty blanket.

"Bye bye Ronald," she sighed as she stood up to put the blanket back onto the bed.

"Hermione! Fleur! What the hell is going on up there?" Ginny hollered, making both of us cringe at the sound of her voice.

"Just on our way down Ginny," I called down the stairs to her.

I looked back at Fleur who was shaking her head, a little dimple of a worry line forming between her eyebrows.

"I pity poor 'arry."

RON: I've been using all my best hangover cures on Harry and he's still a little too rough around the edges for me to allow to meet and greet people outside the church just yet.

"Ron please just kill me, just get it over with, tell Ginny I was taken down defending her honour to a dozen Death Eaters. Just don't tell her I got so drunk I couldn't even make it to the church."

I knew there was one thing I hadn't tried yet, the one thing that used to guarantee I could get through another long day at work after I had drunk myself into a stupor the previous night, and I knew it would sort Harry out in a jiffy but I was just having a little trouble bringing myself to do it.

"Oh man those raw eggs are coming back on me," Harry said, sounding as if he was talking underwater while his back arched and he tensed up momentarily before exhaling deeply and holding his head in his hands.

That was it. I made my decision.

"Right, I'm going to get you something from across the road, you stay here and whatever you do you must never tell Ginny and especially not Hermione what I'm about to do understand?"

Harry looked at me and nodded.

"Anything, just don't let me ruin this for Ginny."

I took a deep breath and got out of the car.

Three minutes later I was back.

I pulled the small bottle out of my jacket pocket and unscrewed the cap, glancing out through the windows guiltily as I did, and handed it to Harry.

"Here drink some of this."

Harry looked at the bottle and then back at me in horror.

"Where did you get that?" he shuddered.

"There's a shop we passed a little way back there," I nodded and tried to push the bottle into Harry's limp hand but he wouldn't take it from me.

"You bought it?"

"No I nicked it," I huffed, "Of course I bought it now take a swig and get it together will you."

Harry sat up straight and stared at me, he was a different kind of pale now and for a whole new kind of reason, and he still didn't take the small glass bottle from my hand.

"Vodka?" he said, his voice almost too low to even be a whisper.

"Don't think of it as vodka," I said uncomfortably, "think of it as hair of the dog and take a damn swig."

Harry was still staring at me in disbelief and he looked as if I had just told him I was dying from some incurable disease.

"You bought a bottle of vodka?" he said, I was beginning to wonder when exactly he was planning on blinking again as he hadn't done so for some considerable time.

"Yes Harry I bought a bottle of vodka, I am holding a bottle of vodka, an open bottle of vodka, and I've got it for you to carry you through until the reception."

"Wh-wha-but..." Harry began to stammer.

"By the reception they would have opened the champagne, you will be able to get another top-up and then gradually wean yourself off it over the course of the night, so when you wake up tomorrow morning you only need take one shot and you'll be fixed all through the day and Ginny'll never even notice."

Harry looked as if he was going to hit me.

"What are you saying Ron?"

"I'm saying that Hermione's a hell of a lot smarter than Ginny and I've got her fooled. Just a shot a day first thing in the morning, you never actually get drunk but it dulls the pain, just take a swig Harry."

I held the bottle out to him and that was when I saw it hit him like a cold bucket of water. He was on the brink of something, either pummelling me into a bloody pulp or dragging me bodily into St Mungo's for detox, and that was when I knew I had only got one option left. I just had to do one last thing to save the day.

I pulled the bottle up to my lips and drank.

"No!" Harry yelled and ripped the bottle from my fingers.

I laughed and wiped my chin where the clear liquid had spilled and got out of the car.

"That's better, don't you feel much better now Harry?"

Harry clambered out of the car and ran after me as I strode off toward the church, still clutching the bottle in his hand, grabbing me by the elbow and pulling me to a halt to look into my eyes with a devastated expression on his face.

"How long?" Harry said in a desperate whisper, "How long has this been going on?"

"What?" I shrugged with some amusement.

"This!" Harry said as he held up the bottle before my face, "How long have you been back on the bottle Ron?"

I wondered just how smug I looked right then, maybe I'd get the chance to travel back one day and watch this whole beautiful moment from the sidelines.

"I'm not a snob Harry, I don't have to have bottled water, I can drink it from the tap."

Harry was about to ask me what on earth I was talking about when he paused, blinked, and looked at the bottle in his hand before turning back at me.

"Water?"

I grinned and Harry took a swig and swallowed before looking at me with a blank expression.

"It's water," he said without comprehension.

I slapped Harry on the back and set off toward the church with a wink.

"But, so you're not...?" Harry was stammering as he watched me heading off ahead of him while he seemed frozen to the spot.

"And that is what I like to call 'being scared sober'," I said as I turned with a bow.

Harry suddenly shook with rage and relief as he ran to catch me up.

"You bastard!"

I was almost doubled-up with laughter as he caught up with me.

"Don't you ever, ever, ever do something like that again. You scared the shit out of me!" Harry yelled while I chuckled.

"You're welcome by the way."

We made our way into the church with Harry clutching his chest and grumbling something about his heart not being able to take friendship with me much longer.

HERMIONE: The reception was in full swing when my levity at seeing my two friends so happy came crashing down around me. I knew something was wrong when I was dancing with Ron and looked into his eyes only to see him catch a glimpse of something over my shoulder and suddenly look more tired than I had seen him in a long time.

"Oh you've got to be kidding me," he groaned and buried his face into my hair with a deep sigh.

I turned around to see Seamus walking in with Lavender on his arm, she was looking stunning as ever and not at all like a pile of cushions, and I glanced around to look for Neville. I saw him dancing with Luna and jerked my head to get him to waltz in our direction, which he did with a confused expression on his face.

"What's she doing here?" I hissed when he was close enough to hear me.

Neville followed my eyes over to Lavender and Seamus and looked as shocked as I felt. I noticed that Ron and Luna were listening to our conversation with puzzled looks on their faces and each looked to their respective dance partners for an explanation to their reactions.

"What's going on Hermione?" Ron asked me with a serious tone, I hate Ron using a serious tone, it doesn't feel right.

"Well Lavender...you see Neville had asked if Lavender could come as she was feeling lonely and I said that maybe she shouldn't because of..." my eyes darted to Luna and back at Ron, "...the situation and he agreed and said he wouldn't ask her to come but now here she is with Seamus."

Ron didn't seem to know whether to be angry with me or worried about Lavender's presence at his sister's wedding all of a sudden and I dragged him off the dance floor and into an alcove out of sight of anybody else.

"Look I've got to find Ginny and warn her about this, if she just happens to bump into her I don't know how she'll react, you stay here and..."

"Are you serious, you want me to hide from her?" Ron scoffed.

I knew it was a ridiculous thing to expect of him but I just wanted to keep the tension down to the barest minimum and from what Neville had told me it didn't sound as if Lavender was capable of keeping her emotions in check in general let alone in the vicinity of Ron. I put my hand on his cheek and stood up on tiptoes to kiss him.

"Sorry, I'm just doing that thing I do from time-to-time, trying to protect everybody from everything you know me."

"Listen, you go and talk to Ginny, you're right about that she really should be given time to get livid and then cool down rather than stumbling upon her and punching her lights out," Ron said with a smile, "but I'll just wander around and talk to whoever I talk to and if I happen to cross paths with her then that's fine. We work together every day Hermione, we're used to pretending to be normal."

I smiled and shook my head before kissing him again and rushing out into the crowd to find Ginny.

RON: I hadn't actually wanted to circulate amongst the crowd as I had told Hermione I would. I don't know why I said it really. Instead I made my way outside to get some fresh air, I was feeling a little hot inside the massive ballroom, and sat down on the stone steps that led down to the fountain in the middle of the green.

"Do you need me to fetch Hermione for you?" came the familiar voice of concern from over my shoulder.

"No I'm fine Lavender really, I'm just a bit danced-out that's all," I said without turning around to look at her.

I saw movement beside me and she sat down on the stone steps, keeping a little distance between the two of us as she did, and we sat in silence for a minute.

"I think Seamus only asked me to come because he was feeling sorry for me," she said.

I turned to face her and gave her a reassuring smile.

"Nah, he's got a soft spot for you, Neville too."

She giggled and looked down at her feet.

"I mean everybody I knew from school was coming except me, he was about to leave and I turned up at the flat and he seemed to feel obliged to bring me along."

This was a difficult one to judge for me. Do I do what is expected of me in this conversation and reassure her that she's wonderful and beautiful and not to put herself down like that but risk her reading it the wrong way or do I say nothing and have her believe that nobody in the huge room behind the both of us could stand her company?

"He really does like you y'know? You should give him a chance, he's a good bloke Seamus."

She looked at me and tried to smile but her face seemed too weighed down with other thoughts to commit to it.

"So I hear congratulations are in order," she said after an uncomfortable silence, "you and Hermione are next up the aisle I hear, I'm really happy for you."

"Thanks," I smiled before feeling a little too uncomfortable to keep this up and getting to my feet, "speaking of the missus I'd better go find...whoa," I said as I wobbled on my feet and Lavender jumped up to grab my arm and steady me.

"Are you about to go?" she asked and I felt my head spin and my legs give out from under me.

I was about to respond to her when the ground was pulled away from me and replaced by a darkened ceiling and a room lit with candlelight. I sat up and shook my head to clear my vision just as a voice called out from behind a desk behind me.

"Evening Mr Weasley, if you feel the need to purge yourself there is a bucket under my desk I would appreciate you use instead of my carpet this time."

I jumped to my feet and covered my privates in horror.

"Professor McGonagall?"

She was wearing her nightgown and seemed to be in the middle of writing a letter of some kind as she peered over the top of her spectacles and raised an eyebrow.

"Oh don't be so alarmed boy, I've seen it often enough before."

"What d'you mean you've seen it?" I almost screamed like a girl as I spoke and hid behind a small screen in the corner.

"I mean I've seen you appear in my office out of the blue, what else did you think I meant?"

I tried not to seem to relieved and took her familiarity with my sudden appearances to mean that I had a box or a drawer somewhere in the room for me.

"Sorry, I was just at a wedding and it happened so quickly, so do I have...?"

"To your right there is a small chest, you'll find spare clothing and anything you may need in case you're hurt in any way."

"Oh no, I'm fine thanks," I said as I opened the chest and began to get dressed behind the screen.

"I can summon Dobby if you would like something to eat and drink?" she asked as she put down her quill.

I poked my head up above the screen and nodded at her thankfully.

"Oh yes please,"

HERMIONE: Neville and Seamus seemed to be having quite a heated debate about the Lavender situation when I approached them, suspicious about Lavender's absence and turning to search the massive room for Ron but not being able to find him either.

"...and just because you didn't have the stones to ask her doesn't mean she shouldn't have come altogether!" Seamus was snarling.

"I was going to ask her but I had the common courtesy to run it past Hermione first and she didn't seem to think it was a good idea," Neville said defensively.

I was about to clear my throat and make my presence known when Seamus threw back his retort.

"Well of course Hermione didn't think it was a good idea, she'd shut Lavender out of all our lives if it meant she didn't have any competition for her precious Ron's attention!"

Neville glared at his flatmate and nodded to where I stood over Seamus' shoulder, He turned and blanched at the sight of me and swallowed.

"Hello you two," I beamed as breezily as I could, "I was just wondering if either of you had seen Ron anywhere?"

"He's gone," a voice said at my side, making me jump slightly and spin on my heel to see Lavender carrying a bundle of Ron's clothing, "just a moment ago outside, I thought I'd bring you these for when he gets back."

I took the bundle from Lavender and smiled with some effort.

"Thank you, that was very kind of you."

She returned my smile before turning to Seamus and holding out her hand to him.

"Would you dance with me?"

Seamus grinned back at her and took her hand, leading her out onto the dance floor.

"I'd be honoured."

Neville and I watched as they disappeared into the crowd and I bit my lip and turned to look at his sad face.

"You don't just like her as a friend do you?" I sighed.

Neville shook his head.

"And Seamus was that other person who was involved that you were talking about wasn't he?"

He nodded.

"I'd hug you but I don't want to crumple Ron's suit," I smiled.

Neville chuckled and shrugged.

"I've lost a woman to many things before but never an empty suit."

We both laughed and made our way over to the buffet.

RON: I sat at McGonagall's desk and ate my battered cod so fast I practically inhaled it, much to my former head of house's distaste, before downing my fourth glass of gillywater.

"So whose wedding were you attending then Weasley?"

"My sister's, her and Harry."

"Ah so you have travelled forward to me then?"

"I have?" I raised an eyebrow as in began to pick at the salad that had come with the fish.

"Indeed, the new school year is about to begin, it is September 2006, quite a jump for you eh?"

"I've had bigger," I shrugged.

"Yes I know," she said as she looked away from me and flicked through a small notebook full of dates and scribbles before looking back at me, "would you call yourself a particularly strong swimmer Weasley?"

I blinked, where had that question come from?

"Um yeah I guess so, I mean I'm not weak that's for sure."

She nodded and closed the small book with a smile.

"Well be sure to keep it up, don't let yourself get out of practice or out of shape, you never know when you may need to...swim."

I picked up my glass to take another drink but it was empty so I put it down again.

"Would you like some more?" McGonagall said as she sat up and pointed her wand at my glass.

"No it's alright, I'm fine really, it's just a habit in my family. If it's there, eat it or drink it before anybody else does."

She looked quite amused at that. There's something about getting the tiniest of smiles from the stoic professor McGonagall that made me feel ten times better than getting a gale of hysterical laughter from the woman who worked in the canteen at the ministry who laughed at everything I said and told me I was the funniest person in the building and I felt quite pleased with myself.

"Well this is obviously your first visit to me but in future you will always find your supplies in that chest, until of course you come to me for my first visit when I will be quite unprepared and somewhat flustered by your presence."

I couldn't help myself but laugh and look forward to seeing the look on her face when that day came.

HERMIONE: The bride and groom had long gone and the party was dying down now. I sat alone on the steps where Ron had disappeared and waited for him to return.

I was as if that was all I ever did these days, wait for Ron. I would occasionally cause an argument about how much I hated him leaving me and I never meant him to think that I was blaming him for his time travel but that was always the way it ended up sounding to him. It wasn't that I wanted him to promise to never travel, just to never leave me permanently. I always wanted him to come back to me. I hated waiting but I loved that feeling when he came back.

I could only bear him leaving me if I knew he would be coming back to me again.

There was a sudden weight on my lap and Ron's head appeared there, along with the rest of him sprawled out on the steps, and he blinked his eyes back into focus and looked up at me with a smile.

"Did I miss all the fun?" he whispered.

"I know I did," I said as I leaned over to kiss him.