Note: Helloooo! Here's an update…

Warning: VERY strong language near the end. Du hast been warned!

Chapter 3

Alanna was looking down and saw Raoul drop into the sea to certain death, but he fell onto his speedboat into his speedboat, and jet-skied away. Unfortunately Alanna was busy craning her neck to see his six-pack (Pink Squishy Llama: How clever is SHE? Lol…) and forgot to hold onto the cliff, and plummeted towards the sea. Just then, a flying winged pencil-case piloted by Anya the yellow Leonardo Di Caprio goddess swooped down and caught her. Behind it was George, who was wearing a pink sparkly cowboy hat, and whirling a green lasso above his head, and standing on a flying lunchbox. On the sea, below, Raoul had reappeared, standing at the prow of a fleet of hover-wardrobes. Just then, as Alanna's alter egos were changing, guess who appeared?

"Milking for moooooo-lah!" Jon screeched, and appeared in front of Alanna. "Eeep!" He fell out of the sky. Thankfully, the Great Llama Goddess (moi! Ich! Me!) was there to levitate him back up to Alanna. He climbed up onto alanna's pencil-case.

"Yay! Now help me!" Alanna screeched.

"Coming, my little party panda!" Jon called back.

"I hate Mrs V!" Alanna replied, "come save me, quick!"

Lo and behold, the terrible monster of Mrs V was drawing near. She was one of the weird people who call Scanra Germany. But luckily the clever elf goddess disintegrated the flying cello case she was standing on, so she fell into the sea and drowned. Meanwhile. Jon and George were duelling on the pencil case about who got to stand next to Alanna. The sparkly pink cowboy hat had fallen into the sea, and so had Jon's spotty sombrero. George had his lasso around Jon's feet, and threw him into the sea. Jon landed on a floating cd-rom, but George instantly started crying over the loss of a good rhinestone lasso. But he instantly recovered and whisked Alanna onto a helicopter in the shape of a crocodile. They went on a safari to see coughing fromps in Antarctica.

Jon appeared in front of Alanna again.

"Oh my God, it must be a dream!" Alanna whispered, gazing at him wide-eyed.

She closed her eyes, then opened them. "Oh my God, it wasn't a dream!"

"Like a rhinestone cowboyyy…" George sang to himself loudly.

"I'm sailiiing awaaaaaay!" sang Mrs V, floating in the sea on a barrel.

"Shut up!" Alanna called and threw a brick at her. Mrs V screamed and fell into the sea unconscious. "ARRRGH! She's not dead. Crap." Alanna mumbled.

Two weeks later, Alanna and George were on a romantic cruise in the Sahara desert. All of a sudden they realised that there was no water, so they fell onto the sand.

"Ouch, my bum!" said Alanna.

"Shut up my baby moo plant. Look."

Alanna and George looked, and saw (in the middle of the Sahara desert) Mrs V and MrC kissing on an iceberg in the middle of an oasis. George and Alanna grabbed them, and led them underground to a top secret torture lab, where Jon and Thayet's ghost were wearing white rubber coats and goggles, torturing Mr B, forcing him to reveal his true identity as an evil ballerina elf in disguise.

Oh heck. George is such a gorgeous hunk. He tortures them so well. Oh dear. Shit. Fuck. BLOODY HELL. Crap etc. Ego change.

"Das ist eine llama!" Alanna shouted "Jonnnnnnnnn! Ooh, flashy lights, what's that?" she said, bemused, walking over to the button labelled "DO NOT EVER PUSH!" and, of course, pushing it…

Thepeople held in cages all ran out and went ape shite.