As I'm sure Malak wrote days ago, the objective was to go into the sewers of Sprohm and search for a specific kind of ooze. We were given equipment to test if it was sticky enough, thick enough, and had a particular smell. My partner looked ill after the description of the target muck, but it didn't seem that bad to me at the time. This only goes to show how ignorant I become when I don't have bullets. And from now on, when Malak gets queasy, I'll trust his gut over mine.
The day of the search, we were up bright and early, and headed into the sewage system through a large drainage pipe at the edge of Sprohm. We were still thinking that this wouldn't be too hard an may even be a break from the usual combat missions and clan ambushes we usually end up as part of. Ninji was the only one that seemed unhappy that we were heading into a smelly sewer. In retrospect, this is one of the few times we should have taken him seriously. We marched in with pep in our step and a song on our lips. Well, not Kara, obviously.
On that note, Malak is no longer allowed to sing about Veira wenches or his favorite parts of them.
The sewer was cold, dark, and smelled like an unwashed Bangaa. And then there's the whole part where we were wading through raw sewage, and taking samples of anything that looked disgusting and sticky. But we weren't complaining yet, because it was still far easier than trying to outfight bandits, outsmart hungry monsters, or scrape ourselves out of being ambushed by another Clan. It wasn't as easy as I'd thought it would be, but it wasn't horrible either. Not yet, anyway. That situation changed quickly, though, because apparently God hates people being content in a sewer.
The pipe suddenly got tiny, too small to stand in. Almost too small to crawl in. We had to get down on our stomachs and crawl through that sludge, with our faces maybe an inch above the surface. I think it would be a safe bet that we were no longer happy about this 'easy' mission, but that apparently wasn't good enough. It's a sewer, and that means we're supposed to be absolutely miserable, not just unhappy. So, as soon as we got out of the tiny pipe, we had a whole other problem.
Ice flans had apparently made this section of the sewer into a cozy nest. Maybe they liked the smell of methane, or the easy access to vast amounts of human waste. Whatever it was, they liked it enough to hate the idea of us being near it. We engaged in a fight, so a judge appeared. That judge had to have the absolute worst luck to be the one playing referee for a fight in the sewers.
However, for us, this a large problem. Only magic is particularly effective against Flan. However, we don't exactly cart around a gaggle of mages. We only have Malak. And while he has more power than a gaggle of mages, he's only one Sage. The rest of us were far less effective. I shoot things, Zahn and Kara stab things, and Ninji dies. Those finely honed skills don't strike me as very magical.
Of course, we still weren't miserable enough. It's just an engagement, we can handle it. But Ninji, being the bright young human he is, fixed our problem. Realizing that Ice Flan wouldn't like fire, he used Fire Veil. The rest of us screamed in terror. Well, not Kara, obviously.
If one can't figure out why, let me give a hint. Methane is explosive.
To his credit, all the Flan were dead. We were only very nearly killed. Ninji himself will be wearing his ninja garbs at all times while he waits for his hair to grow back. And the judge said his hearing should come back in a day or two.
There's a bright side to all of this, though. Now that we were covered head-to-toe in rancid crap and bits of Flan, half-dead from a methane explosion, pissed at Ninji for nearly killing us, and even more pissed at Yours Truly for taking this literal crapfest of a mission, we were more than miserable enough to appease the higher powers that we previously offended. Inspecting the piles of muck that littered the room, we found the sewer ooze that very nearly matched what we were sent for.
Good enough for me. We bottled the disgusting stuff, and started to leave. Then Zahn, who is now everyone's bestest friend ever, pointed at a manhole on the ceiling. Right above the convenient ladder built into the wall. I mentioned that we should have come in that way.
Everyone else gave me nasty glares. I can't imagine why.
Mission accomplished.
Mogri Solhma
Note to self:
When the group is arguing who gets the first bath, Kara always wins. Always.