You'd think you could get over this. Friendships are lost everyday.
You'd think you could get over this. Love isn't lost, only momentarily misplaced.
You'd think you could get over this. You always were the first one to leave.
You'd think you could get over this. I guess you can't.
Its hit so close to home. You can't even recognize your own face anymore.
Now who are you supposed to talk to?
Life has this silly way of throwing you curve balls. Or sometimes it can't throw at all, and you've just got a hit to the head. You're down and out for the rest of the game with an ice pack to your cranium. A messy script or a poem written with cliché words and overused phrases, couldn't explain the anguish in this heart.
"You're not as you look. You're not as you feel." Stupid people, stupid phrases. Stupid everything. I hate it. I promise I do. You're just a girl with a story. EVERYONE has a story, what's so special about yours? I always wanted to believe I was special. This story was special. Come to find out, I'm just like anyone else. We all have problems. Maybe this was how it was supposed to be. I wouldn't know.
It's like when you feel your nose to see if it's too big, but you don't really have anything to compare it to. You don't have another nose. You couldn't tell. You've only got one life. I can't compare it to another life I've lived. Even when you are old you can't look back and compare it to another life. You've got one life, live it like no other. You've got no other. So then how can you live your life like no other? You've got no comparison. How can you know if your like could be any better.
You just don't.
Its all guess and check work. Well maybe if I do this, then this will be the outcome. You've got two choices, two paths. Which one do you choose? Which ever one you don't choose, will you spend your life wondering what could have been. You will. I think about it everyday. I wonder all the time.
I've been told that's my weakness. I'm never so sure. Each decision could change my whole life. That's why I'm so scared. Always so scared to take the next step. What if I'm not good enough? What about my goals? Will I be able to achieve greatness?
You just don't know.
So how do you feel now? You're lost, I'm lost. We're a world of lost people. Half of us don't know it. I know it. I hope you do too. If we could go back in time, we would end up killing ourselves. We would make on choice, second guess it, and go back and do the other. We would over exert everything we know. You can't change the past.
You just can't.
Its one of the things I've learned to accept. It's always easier that way. Why do we all deny what we know is and always will be. What's the point? Denying isn't going to change reality. I could deny my name, but that doesn't change it. I could deny many things. But I don't. I refuse to deny what I know is the truth. Some days I find myself dreaming of a better day. But I don't deny that some days aren't going to be easy.
You just can't.
I expect you've grown tired of all of this. I expect I have to. I don't like believing in heartache. I don't like believing in pain. But its there, it will always be there. Whether you like it or not. You can't go through life expecting your story to be any better than hers. That is not how life goes. We all have a story, some of ours get told. Some stay within our souls. Sometimes it claws at us, trying to break free. It never does. We've perfected the art of concealing everything. But I, I am ready to take the plunge into the unknown. I always have been. This is my story…