Chapter Three – Gone but Not Forgotten
Spring 3 – Thursday
I never would have expected to wear my mother's dress to her own funeral. I did not have much of a choice, though. I owned no dresses of my own, and the occasion called for it.
The town pastor, Carter, read from my mother's favorite book of poetry, by Emily Dickinson. As he recited 'Hope is the Thing with Feathers,' tears silently made it down my face.
Almost like a bodyguard, Gotz stood beside me, wanting to make me feel safe it seemed. It was not long before I was called up to say a few feeble words about my parents.
"This poem was my mother's favorite," I said, referring to the aforementioned poem, "and if she were here, she would be so thankful for having so many people that loved her and cared about her. Thank you," I paused. The whole town was there. All twenty-nine of them.
"As for my father," I shut my eyes to keep from crying, "I know that none of you really ever got a chance to know him, but if you had, you would have seen him to be honorable and strong. The sort of man that a family needs in order to make it through the fiercest storm." Doctor's eyes were on me the whole time I was up there.
"I believe we can all say that they are the hope that perches in all of our souls. I know that I will never forget all the lessons that they have taught me, and I also know that they will always sing the tune without the words in my heart, and never stop at all," I stopped, backing away from the crowd. Carter bowed his head for a moment of silence, but then asked anyone else if they cared to say any words of reverence.
Doug and Gotz both stood to speak, and much to my surprise, they spoke both of my mother and my father. I listened, but at the same time, I tried not to. I never thought that I would have lost them so soon. My only question was why the kappa would do such a thing. They were mythical, but real? What could my parents have done to anger such a solitary creature?
As Gotz went to put his arm around me to comfort me, I felt as though a huge weight had been lifted from me. As I glanced up, I saw that Doctor's eyes had left me. They were talking to Elli, the girl in the blue dress. I was not jealous, considering how Doctor was talking to her. Her eyes were filled with wonder, and it was obvious that she had a crush on him.
He on the other hand looked at her with utter indifference. As she finally gave up and walked away, Doctor turned his head and began staring at me again. I looked into his eyes for a moment, but then turned away, asking Gotz to walk me home. He consented and we began to walk away.
Glancing back, I saw Doctor trying to walk after me, but Carter halted him. Doctor's face became hardened, and Carter's expression grew tired and even annoyed. Putting his arm on Doctor's shoulder, he led him into the church. It was around 1:00 PM, and it was raining.
I sat alone in the house, on my parent's bed. Boxes sat on the ground, unpacked. Scruffy sat by my feet, her face on my lap. She whined, and I sighed. Nothing could possibly bring them back, I knew that much. My eyes began to water up.
No matter how many tears I cried, nothing could ever put them back into my arms. I would never get a kiss on my forehead again when I was sick. I wouldn't have anyone to comfort me when I was sad.
Horrible as I knew it was, I was utterly by myself in a house that would have been a home. Falling back onto the bed, I sobbed my heart out, and as I lay there alone, I cried myself to sleep.
It was a dreamless sleep, save for the rare occasion when a pair of passionate black eyes would stare out of the darkness.