Whitewashed Years

By Comalies

Disclaimer - I no own, you no sue.

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Prologue - Funeral for a Dream

Raven had spent seventeen years suppressing emotions. Though she had failed on a few key occasions, as a whole she had become rather affective at the practice. Even she was having a hard time keeping her features stoic, and keeping her heart from racing.

She still couldn't walk in there, only to look into the face of the first titan to truly embrace death. Merely the emotions around her was enough to drive her to run, but dealing with her own was tenfold worse.

She steadied herself and looked down at her appropriately black clothes. Black. They all thought it was her favorite color. How could anyone love funeral colors.

How could anyone laugh at a funeral?

Feeling a little hysterical herself, she retreated farther from the actual room and found a water cooler. She didn't feel any better holding a cool cup of water, though, but she found that distance helped a bit.

"Raven?" someone muttered. She barely recognized the hoarse, grief-raw voice of Beast Boy. The green skinned Titan approached her slowly and poured himself a cup of water, but left it untouched.

"How are you holding up?" It was a very un-Raven like comment, but it felt right to ask the younger boy. She felt sorry for him, just looking at him. He was young, and though he'd been through a lot, he still wore his emotions on his sleeve. He was very torn up, and she worried about him.

He was, after all, like her little brother. Her usually irritating, aggravating, snot-nosed little brother. But right now, he needed a big sister to lean on, and being a good friend, she complied.

He looked almost completely shocked when Raven slid an arm around his shoulders and gave him a small hug.

"I'm alright. Terra's a wreck. She finally locked herself in the bathroom after loosing it in there." He managed. She closed her eyes and nodded. Terra was another one they would have to watch. Just as young as Beast Boy, and still just as easily hurt.

She tried to push her own grief aside at this new thought: helping her remaining friends would give her something to work with, something to take her mind off of-

Things.

She looked down at him and gave his shoulders another squeeze. "I'll go check on Terra."

"No, let me." he cut in. She tried to protest, but realized that this was Beast Boy's way of coping; he would help Terra.

Was this 'helping someone' thing marrow deep with them, now, or just a reasonable way to cope?

"Alright." As he turned to find the restrooms, Raven called after him. "Where's Robin?"

The young changeling's shoulders shook.

"He's still in there." he muttered.

Raven nodded and turned back towards the viewing room. She couldn't… wouldn't… go in there. She carefully approached the door and peered in, avoiding the thousands of flowers, the large crowd of well-wishers and mourners, and of course- the dreaded coffin.

Stiffened, she finally spotted Robin, sitting in the row denoted for 'family and dear friends'. He was as stiff backed as her, and his masked eyes stared blankly ahead. He looked lifeless, numb.

It startled her. The fear of entering a room so consumed with death warred with her fear for Robin, and finally lost. She walked swiftly across the room, ignoring the coffin completely, and slid into the seat next to Robin.

"Hey." she murmured. For a long time, he didn't answer. She wondered if he heard her, or if he could hear at all. "Robin?"

"I should have been able to save her. I should have done more." he muttered in a robotic tone, completely empty of emotion, of feeling at all. She touched his arm gently.

"We all failed her. We did all we could, and we still failed her. Not just you, Robin. Cyborg and Beast Boy and Terra and me. We all failed her." she returned. He didn't look at her, but the slightest nod acknowledged that he accepted this. He allowed her to take some of the guilt from his shoulders, if only to apply it elsewhere.

That showed her exactly how drained he was, not to fight over this. She knew that a long road still lay before the Titans, especially Robin. It would be a long time before anyone was ready to be a Titan again, ready to fight evil and risk their lives. Not because they were afraid to die, but because none of them felt the worth of the fight right now.

They would all have their own demons to face.

"You haven't paid your respects." the Boy Wonder responded finally. Raven stiffened. What could she say to that?

Finally: "I was just about to go." she managed. She stood and glanced to her left. There, surrounded by thousands of flowers, in a cherry wood box, lay the still form of the Tamaranian princess.

"Starfire." Raven whispered, approaching slowly. They had dressed the girl in traditional Tamaranian burial clothes, and placed her communicator in her hand. Her once shining red hair had diminished. Her deeply tanned skin was pale; unreal.

Raven felt a tear run down her face, then two. Then she was crying, and couldn't stop. When a strong arm snaked around her shoulders and tucked her close to an even stronger chest, she tried to stop, but only managed to choke and start coughing.

"Come on, Rae." the gentle, brotherly voice spoke and Cyborg led her out of the room, back into the little waiting room she had been pacing earlier. He urged her to sit on the too pleasant little couch and got her a glass of water. Once the cup was in hand, he sat down next to her.

She sniffled, her free hand covering her eyes. 'Stop crying. You don't deserve to cry. Peace, serenity, tranquility…'

'That's what she said, trying to control your powers.' her mind spoke up. Faintly, she could hear something crash apart, and Cyborg rubbed her back slowly.

"Come on, Rae. You gotta calm down. One lamp is ok, but if you bring down this entire place, I think the funeral director will be a little angry."

He tried for a light tone, but he was a bad actor. She loved him for trying.

"Thank you." she managed, looking up at him. He looked about as badly as she felt, but a faint smirk finally crossed his face.

They buried her in a sunny part of the cemetery that afternoon. Robin, Cyborg, and Beast Boy were pallbearers, along with the chief of police, the mayor, and Starfire's younger brother, whom none of the Titans had known until recently.

They had honored her a fallen hero, a brave woman, and a strong leader of her people. She was Koriand'r, known as Starfire to the grateful people of Jump City, and she would be missed.

Sorely missed.

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AN - Well it was only a prologue, the actual story takes place throughout the next 20 or so years.