Beth asked Matt why he had left her mother and he answered her. She wished he would have been around when she was growing up, but unfortunately for her he wasn't. Instead of dwelling on a past she couldn't change, she would focus on the future. Beth did have one more question for Matt. She did not want to put Matt on the spot, but her question was eating at her.

Taking a deep breath, Beth decided to go for it and asked her question. "I know it's too late now. But if the fever had not taken Mother, would you have married her?"

Matt was not expecting that question. He wanted to make sure he worded his answer in a way Beth would understand, but also honestly. After pondering his answer for a moment, he responded. "I told you before that you're an adult and I'm going to give you my honest answer. Like I said before, I don't sugar coat things." Beth nodded her understanding, so Matt continued. "Would I have married your mom right away? No, I would not have. Kitty died less than a year ago. I'm still grieving for her. She was my soulmate and always will be. My heart has belonged to her for over forty years. I could not just give it to another woman so quickly. I wouldn't want to do anything to dishonor Kitty."

Matt was about to continue, but Beth spoke first. "Do you think she would be upset if you got married again."

Again Matt thought how to word his response. "It's funny that you ask that. Husbands and wives talk about a lot of things, and the future is one of them. One night we were talking about what we would do when one of us passed away. We knew one of us would end up being a widow. I always thought it would be me getting shot and leaving her a widow. God obviously had other plans. Anyway, we talked about how we wanted one another to be happy. If someone came along that made us happy, then we should let them. We shouldn't feel guilty about letting someone make us feel happy. We talked about how we both knew we would never use another person to be a replacement for our love. Of course talking about not feeling guilty about being happy with another person is one thing. Actually doing it is another thing."

"So would you have married Mother in the future?" Beth asked.

"Possibly, but I would have needed time. Now I have a question for you. Did you finish packing for your train ride out to the University of Pennsylvania?" Matt asked.

"Yeah, but I really don't want to go," Beth sighed.

"What do you mean that you don't want to go? You and your mother had been talking about you going to college and seeing the world beyond this ranch. It's what you both wanted." said Matt.

"Maybe it's what she wanted. I just think I should stay here with you," Beth replied.

"Beth, it's what you both wanted, not just her. I heard genuine excitement in both of your voices whenever the subject was brought up. So tell me why the change of heart." Matt told Beth.

"Alright, since you always make it a point to be honest with me, I'll be honest with you. I'm afraid if I go and then come back, you might not be here. Mother told me how long it took her to reach you because you had been wandering about, not settling down." Beth waited for Matt to respond.

"Beth, I wandered after Kitty passed on. I was heartbroken and lost. I didn't want to be in Dodge anymore. I felt that if I were in Dodge, then Kitty should be there too. But she wasn't there, and that made Dodge a lonely place for me. I decided leaving Dodge was the best thing to do. The only problem was I didn't know where to go. When I received that letter from your mom, I had no idea how much it would change my life, and quite possibly save it from loneliness. You don't have to worry about me wandering away. I have a reason not to wander." Matt hoped he was convincing Beth to make that trip tomorrow out east.

Beth still was not sure about going. "What if you get sick and die like Mother did?"

"Beth, we don't know when the good Lord is going to take us, but we can't stop living waiting for him to do so. Now please make sure you have everything you need packed for the train ride tomorrow."

"I guess I'm not going to convince you to let me just stay with you," said Beth.

"No you're not. I promise you I'm not going to wander away. If I do happen to do any wandering, it will be out east to visit you. I've never been to that part of the country. I never had any reason to travel out there, but now I do," Matt said as he gave Beth a smile.

Beth still wasn't fully persuaded to go, but she went and packed her suitcase anyway. She would try one more time tomorrow to talk Matt into letting her stay on the ranch.

Matt watched Beth go into her room. As he sat at the table, he suddenly realized why Beth was asking him about marrying her mother. She wasn't really concerned with whether or not he would marry her mother. She was concerned with whether or not he would be around in the future, her future. Marriage to her mom pretty much guaranteed that. Now Beth felt she didn't have that guarantee. Matt just hoped he convinced Beth that he would be around now and in her future.

The End