This is quite possibly the best Pokemon fan fiction you'll ever read.
This is what really happened during Ash's first day of being a Pokemon trainer.
WARNING- This story DOES contain content no suitable for younger viewers. Do not take me responsible for damage caused by this story. It is meant to be funny, so it is funny. Notice the "R" rating.
"Ring, Ring!"
"God dammit!" Ash yelled towards his annoying alarm clock, and hastily throws it out his bedroom window, hitting a car and causing a gargantuan wreck. Peoples' screams and shouts are audible from far away. Explosions rock the town every few seconds.
"What the hell! I'm trying to sleep!" Ash screams out his window trying to quiet the mayhem.
Two hours later, after the emergency clean-up crew has taken care of the cars and dead bodies, Ash finds out that he overslept his first day of being a Pokemon trainer.
"Dammit mom! What the hell! Why the heck didn't you wake me up! God!
I'm trying to be a fricken Pokemon trainer, here!" Ash complains to his mother.
Mrs. Ketchum, crying, lifts her head and stares at Ash. A solemn look is stretched across her face.
"Honey, your dad was in a large car wreck. He didn't survive…"
"So." Ash replied. "I'm talking about me here! God, you could've at least woken me up! Maybe I'm more important than my dad's life! God!"
And Ash storms out the house, headed to a large laboratory. There, he was going to get his first Pokemon.
While on the way there, a small, pitiful beggar walks up to Ash and quietly asks for some money or food.
"What the hell! God, does it look like I care!" Ash kicks the old man in the groin and walks off, leaving the man to cry in pain.
Once at the large, white, anonymous building, Ash begins to walk through the doors. Alas, the guard standing post at the entrance stops him.
"I'm sorry, but I can't allow you to enter. Professor Oak is not to see anyone at this time." The guard announces and rolls his eyes.
Ash, being the badass he is, is pissed. He quickly devises a plan.
"Help! Rape! He's trying to molest me!" Ash screams, and two policemen quickly run up to the innocent guard and beat him with their nightsticks.
After not long, the policemen stop and look at the heap of a man hunched in the fetal position.
"Thanks." Ash says, and walks into the laboratory.
Ash walks up to professor Oak's office and beats wildly on the door.
After waiting a few seconds he gets pissed once again and storms into the office.
Oak, obviously preoccupied with a prostitute, just looks at Ash and continues with his job. Ash just sits down in a chair and watches.
After a few minutes, Oak is annoyed and asks if Ash minds. Ash says no and continues watching.
When Oak is done, the prostitute leaves and Oak begins to chat with
Ash.
"What are you doing here?" He asks.
"I've come for my first Pokemon, of course!" Ash replies cheerfully.
"Too bad you little brat! I done gave all of my stupid pieces of shits away to all the stupid brats a couple of hours ago! Your too late!"
Ash just looks at Oak and picks up a nearby chair.
After a long…negotiation… Oak agrees to give Ash a Pokemon. A Pokemon he found living in his wall.
"Ha! The jokes on the brat!" Oak thought. It was an unruly beast of a mouse that could not be tamed. Oak tried desperately to get rid of it but not even the beggar outside would take it.
Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon or the rest of the characters mentioned in the story. If this story is actually posted, I'll write more chapters.