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A few days later and Flora Ryan was making her way back up to her room after lunch to collect her coat and gloves before going into Tappleton that afternoon. The first couple of days at Taplows had been the usual hectic rush that occurred when arriving at a new house with different routines and customs but now things were beginning to settle down. Things between herself and the resident butler had also been a lot better than she had thought they might be on their arrival but since the other night when he had approached her to apologise then things had improved considerably. She hadn't seen much of him the day or so after he had spoken to her but then the day before yesterday the two of them had had an afternoon meeting which turned into afternoon tea and only ended when the Earl had rung most insistently for his butler, and then last night she'd spent an enjoyable time after dinner with Mr Jarvis, Mr Kraus, and Mrs Crossley the Taplows' housekeeper.
Although he had been nothing but the perfect gentleman, Flora had caught the butler looking at her a couple of times over the past few days, at meal times or during a staff meeting, an odd expression on his face, but on catching her gaze he would merely smile and then look away again. She still couldn't believe they had managed meet each other after all these years and after they had parted on such bad terms beforehand.
Blushing slightly as she left her room and made her way downstairs she recalled that fateful New Year's Eve party ten years ago, she once again thanked the almighty that he had decided to forgive and forget and not to bring that subject up at dinnertime heaven forbid. When she'd realised who he was she hadn't been able to bring herself to make eye contact with him and she had been dreading a conversation with him about how they first met. If she'd known she was going to see him again and under such circumstances then she'd have made an effort to be slightly politer on their original parting.
A few minutes later and Flora was just being helped into the carriage when the butler suddenly appeared in the courtyard and made his way over to the carriage, getting in after her much to the housekeeper's surprise.
"Mrs Ryan, I hope you don't mind if I accompany you into Tappleton, I have a few errands for his lordship that need to be done this afternoon."
"No, of course I don't mind Mr Jarvis.' Flora replied as she moved along to make room for him on the seat. "I thought your afternoon off was on Friday not today though?"
"It is," Jarvis replied enigmatically, then on seeing the questioning look that appeared on Flora's face, he elaborated further "I've been putting off doing some of these things for a while now and I thought as the Earl is out riding and you were going into town this afternoon I would take the opportunity of a relatively free afternoon to get this stuff done. I can even show you the delights of Tappleton if you'd like!" he added with a smile.
"You're too kind Mr Jarvis."
"Not at all Mrs Ryan, not at all."
An hour or so later saw Flora making her way out of the drapery and down the main street of Tappleton, clutching her many parcels as she went. It was quite a pretty little town she thought, quite a few shops considering the rural location but the backdrop of the Mendip hills meant you only had to look up to be reminded that the bustling market wasn't in a city but in the heart of Somerset instead. However as she tried to juggle her parcels under one arm and fix her bonnet with the other hand she rather wished she'd thought to look around before visiting the shops.
So preoccupied was Flora with trying to make sure none of the parcels fell in mud at her feet that she didn't notice the butler walking towards her with an amused expression on his face.
"Can I be of any assistance Mrs Ryan?"
Blushing at the sound of his voice and glancing up quickly, Flora tried unsuccessfully to look composed, something that only made the butler's smile widen as the parcels under her left arm began to wobble precariously.
"No, no, thank you Mr Jarvis, I'll be fiiiiiiii" she broke off as one of the more awkwardly shaped parcels suddenly broke free and slipped from her grasp causing Jarvis to dart forward and grab it before it reached the ground.
"Well as fine as you are, I think you will be better if you let me carry these for you. No, no, I insist" he added as she reluctantly handed him the parcels before offering her his arm as they continued down the street.
"Thank you Mr Jarvis"
"A pleasure Mrs Ryan, now did you have anything else you needed to do in town?"
"No that was all. The lace I wanted wasn't available at the draper's so I've had to order it in. Hopefully I'll be able to find the time to come and pick it up when it arrives."
"I can always send one of the footmen to pick it up for you if you're not available to come yourself." Jarvis offered
"That's very kind Mr Jarvis, thank you. Please don't let me keep you from any business you have to do in town this afternoon though.
"Oh no, I'm all finished, didn't take me as long as I thought it would. Now if we just drop these parcels back at the carriage and unless you have a particular pressing desire to return to Taplows then I can keep my word to show you the delights of Tappleton."
"If you're sure it wouldn't be putting you out too much…" Flora murmured in assent as they approached the carriage, Jarvis letting go of her arm to open the door and deposit the parcels on the seat.
"Not in the slightest Mrs Ryan." he replied, smiling at her as he reclaimed her arm and led her back towards the town centre "Now where shall we start?"
Twenty minutes or so later and the pair were making their way past the town hall with Mr Jarvis providing the commentary on various sites as they went. So far he had enlightened her on the local architecture and, perhaps more interestingly, various tit bits of local scandal that had set the neighbourhood gossiping.
"So you see that is why that part of the town hall at the back looks out of place, work started on an extension for it about fifty years ago but it was never completed."
"Why was that?" Flora asked intrigued, looking up at the part of the building he was talking about.
"Well you see, officially the story was that they ran out of money…"
"And unofficially?" Flora prompted and so he continued in a more conspiratorial tone.
"Well it was at the time when the present Earl's grandfather was Earl of Taplows; he had two sons and a daughter who was a lot younger than her brothers. The Earl doted shamelessly on his sons though and rather neglected his daughter but she certainly got his attention when she ran off with the architect who had been commissioned to work in the town."
"Oh my goodness."
"I know!" Jarvis replied, grinning slightly at her expression "Created quite a scandal, the Earl was furious, cut her off completely, you know how it is. Obviously they tried to keep it hushed up but you know how these things get out, gossip spreads like wildfire, especially when there are servants around." he commented wryly.
"Indeed, although a respectable butler such as you would obviously never waste time in idle gossip." Flora murmured with a slight giggle.
"And a respectable housekeeper like your good self would naturally shut her ears and not at all be intrigued by common town gossip!" Jarvis retorted good-naturedly as he led her back towards the town. "Now, I know a delightful little tea shop just down this lane here, can I possibly tempt you Mrs Ryan, or have my flippant tales of scandal shocked you into wanting no more to do with me?"
"Tea would be lovely Mr Jarvis, but are you sure you don't need to get back to Taplows if this isn't your afternoon off?"
"I am sure Taplows can cope for an afternoon without me, besides, I haven't skipped work for years and as you say, I'm a respectable butler, no one is going to suspect me!"
"As long as you're sure…" Flora murmured, her slightly worried expression fading as the butler assured her everything would be fine.
Turning left at the end of the lane, Jarvis led them to the door of a secluded but cosy looking tea shop. Holding the door for her, he then led them to a table near the back of the shop, out of earshot of most of the other customers but with a wonderful view of the nearby hills.
"This place does the best homemade scones this side of Bristol." Jarvis said once he had placed their order. "But don't tell Mr Kraus I said so!" he added with a smile.
"I won't, I promise." Flora replied, smiling back at him.
A couple of minutes later their tea and scones arrived and Flora busied herself with pouring the tea, both were then silent for a few moments while tucking into the scones, which were as delicious as promised, with the homemade jam and clotted cream.
Watching Flora as she daintily took a sip of her tea, Jarvis tried to squash that perpetual feeling of guilt and self-disgust that seemed to always surface when he thought about why he was doing all of this. Try as he might he still couldn't really justify it to himself and he couldn't deny that this afternoon had actually been extremely pleasant and not at all a chore. Trying to stop that thought, he reminded himself that she had humiliated him in front of his colleagues, something he had not lived down while he had remained at that house.
Watching her now as she delicately wiped her mouth with a napkin he let his eyes roam over the rest of her figure, she certainly was very attractive, perhaps even more so now than as the young lady's maid he had met over ten years ago, more reserved perhaps but definitely no less striking and that was why she had caught his eye the first time. He'd been down in London for New Year's Eve while working as under-butler at his previous house. While his master had been attending a party, some of the servants had been invited to a party of their own in the neighbouring house. It had been packed out in the lower servants' hall and so he hadn't spotted her at first, it was only when she moved onto the dance floor with one of the footmen from her house that he saw her. After watching her for about half an hour he had finally worked up the courage to ask her to dance and from then on had spent most of the evening with her.
They'd danced together a couple more times after that first dance and had been getting on extremely well; he'd got a few encouraging winks from the lads and she'd had a few comments from some of the other maids about spending all her time with him but nothing too serious. It had all been going very well and they were standing together as midnight approached and everyone gathered together for the toast. Then as the New Year had been announced he'd leant in to wish her a very happy new year yet just as he was about to kiss her she'd turned away and he'd ended up kissing her cheek instead. Thinking back he probably shouldn't have said what he had next, it wasn't particularly gentlemanly but for her to then insult him like that and throw her drink in his face in front of all the other servants and then storm off like that was overreacting just a bit he told himself. The other lads hadn't stopped teasing him about it all the way home and then for months afterwards, right up until the day he left.
However his little bout of reminiscing was abruptly halted when Flora asked in some concern if he was feeling alright as he had been staring at her but as though his mind was elsewhere for the past few minutes and had apparently not heard whatever question she had just asked him.
"Pardon me Mrs Ryan, I was miles away." Shaking his head slightly to bring himself back to the present, Jarvis resolved to forget about the past for the minute and just enjoy the tea and an afternoon away from Taplows.
-------
While the butler was enjoying a rare afternoon away from the rush of Taplows, the chef had been involved in a little mission of his own. Having watched with interest as the butler accompanied Mrs Ryan into town and having spied the two of them sequestered away in the butler's office for hours a couple of days ago, he had endeavoured to do a little bit of research of his own with regards to their visiting housekeeper just to see exactly what Walter had got himself into.
Making his way through the servants' quarters he couldn't resist a small smile to himself, it seemed the butler had set himself a pretty steep challenge, or that was how it appeared to him. He had managed to corner one of Lord Mansfield's valets and after some subtle questioning had managed to bring the topic round to the lovely Flora Ryan. It appeared that she ruled her household very strictly indeed; with absolutely no staff liaisons tolerated whatsoever, no matter what the circumstances and woe betide any hapless lower servant who was caught in any such compromising situation.
Passing the door out to the courtyard he smirked slightly as he saw a carriage draw up and the butler alight quickly before turning to help Mrs Ryan down.
'Wasting his time he is.' Felix thought to himself, though as he watched the pair head companionably into the house together he frowned slightly in thought 'Maybe I should add a little spice into the challenge…'
----------
However Felix's well placed hints to the butler about how he would be better off giving up and conceding defeat now merely fell upon deaf ears over the next few days. It was a few days later and Jarvis had seen that Mr Adams was supervising the after-dinner drinks for their lordships before returning to his office where he had agreed to meet Mrs Ryan for a quick after-dinner drink of their own. Passing the chef in the corridor he merely nodded at him before carrying on his way.
Turning into his office he paused for a moment on the threshold, watching as Flora ran her hand over the various knick-knacks on the mantelpiece, having not yet seen him, before pushing the door open properly and clearing his throat slightly to alert her to his presence.
"Mrs Ryan. My apologies for keeping you waiting."
"Not at all Mr Jarvis. I only just arrived myself." Flora replied, smiling at him and taking a seat by the fire as he shut the door behind him before making his way over to the cupboard by the window and pulling out a bottle of brandy and a couple of glasses.
"How has your day been then?" Jarvis enquired, passing her a glass before pouring one for himself and then settling down in his fireside chair opposite her.
"A little hectic, but otherwise fine." Flora replied "I think I'm still learning my way round all the passages here, I ended up in the larder today instead of the scullery." She confessed "I think Mr Kraus was a little surprised to see me come out of there."
"I'm sure he would be too polite to say anything." Jarvis said with a smile "It does take a while to get to know your way round here after all. In fact I'm sure I remember the same Mr Kraus getting slightly lost a few times when he first arrived here."
"Are you finished for tonight then?" Flora asked after a few moments silence.
"I should be" Jarvis sighed "Sometimes his lordship rings for me before he goes to bed, for instructions about tomorrow or to get him another nightcap – 'Just a little one to help me sleep tonight I think Jarvis…actually just leave the bottle on your way out man.' Or something like that!" he added, smiling as he saw Flora trying not to laugh too hard at his rather accurate impression of the Earl. "Mr Adams should have everything under control tonight though."
"Well that's good for you Mr Jarvis."
"Indeed it is, in fact it will give me ample time to teach you at least the rudiments of the wonderful game of chess as I promised a few days ago. If that would still be agreeable to you of course?" Jarvis asked.
"Of course it would, as long as I wouldn't be putting you out at all…"
"Not at all, not at all, I can't believe no one has ever taught you before; chess is one of the more civilised pastimes one can indulge in I have found." Jarvis expounded as he drained his glass before standing up and making his way over to his closet, rummaging around in one of the shelves he managed to extricate a rather dusty chess set after a few moments and triumphantly set it down on the table.
"It's a lovely set." Flora murmured as she made her way over to the table and sat down to watch him set the pieces up on the board.
"It was my uncle's" Jarvis replied as he carefully polished the small glass figures before placing them on their correct squares "he taught me to play when I was younger, my father never really had much interest in board games, or any kind of games really." he added with a slight frown as he tried to get rid of a particularly stubborn blemish on the black king.
"Sounds a bit like my father; he never really had any time for games with us." Flora replied quietly, running her thumb over the polished pieces
"Well let's not dwell on them now." Jarvis said gently as he put the last piece in place and took his seat opposite Flora. "First rule, white, which is you, always goes first and it's always a pawn, one of these ones here, so if I were you…"
It was thus, engaged in a game of chess, that Felix found the two of them some while later. Opening the door quietly, he watched from the doorway as they carried on their game, unaware of their observer. It was Flora's turn, lifting her hand slowly she made as if pick up her remaining bishop before changing her mind and picking up the knight instead, however before she could move it Jarvis's hand closed round hers.
"I'd go with the bishop if I were you." he said softly as she looked quickly up at him.
"A wise move Mrs Ryan I would think." Felix called out from the doorway, causing Flora to jerk her hand suddenly away from Jarvis's. "You'll expose yourself to attack otherwise." He added with a knowing smile.
"Felix, what can I do for you?" Jarvis asked in irritation as the chef sauntered over to the table.
"Mr Adams was looking for you, something about needing the keys to the wine cellar."
"Damnit, can't that man do anything by himself." Jarvis muttered under his breath "Do you know where he is now?" he asked Felix.
"He's on his way down to the cellar, I said I'd come and tell you so you could meet him there."
Sighing in annoyance Jarvis pushed his chair back from the table and stood up "I'm very sorry Mrs Ryan, perhaps we can continue this another time?"
"Of course Mr Jarvis, don't worry about it." Flora replied quickly, getting up from her chair as well as the butler made his way over to the door, stopping and glancing between the chef and the housekeeper, nodding slightly at Flora before turning and marching out the door to try and find his under-butler.
Smiling slightly at the chef who was now leaning against the butler's desk, Flora began to pack up the chess pieces back into their box, glancing up at Felix every few moments or so as she felt him watching her.
"Are you finding things agreeable here at Taplows then Mrs Ryan?" Felix eventually asked, breaking the rather awkward silence.
"Yes I am Mr Kraus. Everything seems to be most pleasant."
"And everyone by the looks of things." Felix retorted pointedly, smiling to himself as the housekeeper blushed furiously.
"Mr Jarvis has been most kind, I mentioned I didn't know how to play, but had always wanted to and so he offered to show me as he wasn't doing anything this evening and he thought Mr Adams would be seeing to the Earl and…"
"Please, please Mrs Ryan!" Felix laughed as he put his hand up to stall her rambling explanations "You don't have to explain it to me, I didn't mean anything by that."
"Yes, well, I know what servant gossip can be like." Flora muttered as she began to hurriedly finish packing the chess set away.
"I'm sure there is absolutely nothing to gossip about." Felix commented smugly "A respectable woman such as yourself spending time alone with a man like Mr Jarvis. What could be more innocent?"
"What's that supposed to mean?" Flora queried sharply, a slight frown creasing her face as she immediately looked up at the chef's inscrutable expression.
"Nothing, nothing, you're far too suspicious Mrs Ryan!" Felix laughed as he made his way over to the door. "I'll leave you in peace now, until the morning Mrs Ryan!" he called out cheerfully as he strolled out the door and back down the corridor.
"Good night Mr Kraus." Flora murmured, a puzzled look on her face as she pushed her chair under the table before leaving the room herself.
- - -
A few days later, Jarvis had returned to his office after meeting with the Earl after breakfast, hoping to catch up with some paperwork and maybe even read the paper without being interrupted. However after a few minutes he found his attention wandering to the previous night, shaking his head he tried to focus on the arrangements for following the weekend's dinner party but still couldn't prevent his mind returning to the increasingly complicated situation that was his friendship with Flora Ryan.
They'd spent another enjoyable evening last night in his office after dinner had finished with Felix and a couple of the other senior staff members, the others had all retired to bed relatively early however, leaving him and Flora. They'd talked travel, literature, careers, colleagues, everything until realising it was the early hours of the morning and they eventually parted. Sighing deeply as he thought back over the evening, Jarvis again felt the reflexive twinge of guilt that surfaced every time he gave some thought to the situation. He knew he shouldn't be doing this; he wasn't this type of man, not petty and vindictive, so just why had he agreed to Felix's bet? He tended not to think of what he was really doing when he spent time with her but from time to time it would bubble up regardless and he would barely be able to look her in the eyes or make pleasant conversation, having instead to excuse himself. The situation was now being made worse by the fact that he was actually beginning to enjoy spending time with Flora, much as he tried not to admit it to himself, and the thought of what she would think of him if she knew what he was really doing made him feel slightly nauseous. Maybe he could just tell Felix he'd changed his mind? That the bet was off? No one would have to know, especially not Flora, and then he really could just forget all about it and get on with his life without his conscience screaming at him all the time.
Lost in these thoughts, Jarvis didn't notice the door to his office open and someone approach the desk until they were right in front of him.
"Engrossed in your paperwork Walter!" Felix enquired teasingly, handing the butler a number of provisional menus for the weekend.
"Thank you Felix." Jarvis replied dryly, taking the sheets of paper and flicking through them briefly.
"Not thinking about a certain housekeeper were we!" Felix asked innocently, a smile playing round his lips as he watched the butler frown.
"No I was thinking about this weekend," Jarvis retorted sharply "we can't have salmon, Lady Harcourt is coming, it tampers with her digestion apparently."
"We'll have duck then," Felix replied with a shrug "I think you're avoiding the issue."
"Felix there is no issue, however while we are on that particular topic there was something I wanted to talk to you about…"
"Oh no, you're not pulling out now!" Felix exclaimed sharply, "We had an arrangement, just because you're feeling sorry for the poor cow doesn't mean you can just…"
"Don't talk about her like that!" Jarvis retorted angrily, getting up from his seat. "It has nothing to do with how I feel. This entire business is utterly juvenile and pathetic and I should never have agreed in the first place. Flora doesn't deserve to be treated like this and I can't believe I let you talk me into it." he added, glaring at the chef across his desk.
"Well as touching as those sentiments are, we still have a bet, unless of course this is because you think you aren't up to the challenge…" Felix trailed off, folding his arms and smiling back at the butler.
For a few moments Jarvis just glared at his chef before pushing back his chair and marching over to the mirror and straightening his cravat. "I'm not discussing this any further Felix, I've more important things to be doing, and I'm sure you do as well." he replied coldly, turning as there was a knock on the door before issuing a curt 'Come in' to the footman in the doorway.
"Post sir."
"Thank you Mr James" Jarvis said automatically, taking the letters and glancing over them, raising his eyebrows slightly as he saw the addressee on one of them. Tucking the bundle inside his jacket pocket he nodded at the chef before following Joseph out the door, intending to deliver the letter personally.
That night at dinner, Jarvis was once again lost in his thoughts, pushing his dessert rather aimlessly round his plate while looking up from time to time to frown at the empty space at the other end of the table where Flora normally sat. This was the first time she hadn't attended a staff meal since she had arrived and no one seemed to have seen her since mid-afternoon. He hadn't seen her since that morning when he'd tracked her down in the laundry room after his conversation with Felix. He'd given her the letter that had been mixed up with his, she'd seemed alright then although thinking back she had gone a little paler than usual on looking at the postmark. Since then she hadn't appeared at lunchtime and now it seemed as though she was going to miss dinner as well.
Finishing his dinner, Jarvis waved aside Felix's offer of an after-dinner drink, muttering something about paperwork and another night maybe before taking his leave with the intention of seeking out the absent housekeeper.
Half an hour later he was about to give up and go and actually start some paperwork when the sound of someone coming in from the gardens caught his attention, turning round he started at the sight of a shivering Flora Ryan trying to slip unobtrusively up the back stairs.
"Mrs Ryan" he called.
"Mr Jarvis, I …." she stammered as she whirled round at the sound of his voice
"Where have you been?" he asked in concern "No one has seen you for hours then you didn't turn up for lunch and then supper, we were beginning to think you may have been kidnapped!" he added with a smile.
"I'm sorry, I didn't realise people were looking for me. I was out in the garden, I must have lost track of the time." Flora muttered, avoiding his gaze and playing nervously with the ring on her finger.
"You must have been out there a long time, look you're shivering, come along; we need to get warm again." Jarvis replied gently
"No really Mr Jarvis, I was just going to go upstairs and…"
"And I know just how cold those rooms can get at this time of year, especially when there's been no fire all day." Jarvis insisted, taking her elbow firmly and steering her back in the direction of his office, collaring a passing maid on the way to go and fetch Flora's shawl from her room.
A few minutes later Flora was settled in front of the fire with her shawl wrapped firmly round her and a glass of brandy in her hands. Jarvis dismissed the maid who brought the shawl with a wave of his hand before shutting the door and turning back to the housekeeper who was starting to look slightly less frozen than before.
"Really Mr Jarvis I don't want to inconvenience you, surely you have other things to be doing than…"
"It's no inconvenience at all," Jarvis cut her off "The welfare of all the staff at Taplows are my concern."
"You're very kind Mr Jarvis." Flora murmured.
"Not at all Mrs Ryan," Jarvis replied quickly "Now though, are you going to tell me what the matter is?"
"Not at all Mrs Ryan," Jarvis replied quickly "Now though, are you going to tell me what the matter is?"
Looking up at the butler sharply when he said that, Flora then turned away again looking into the fire before speaking "Nothing's the matter, everything is fine."
"Well naturally, you disappear all day, don't attend any meals, stay out in the freezing cold, and then reappear several hours later and try to sneak upstairs when it's obvious you've been crying. I must be losing my faculties if I thought there was anything wrong." Jarvis stated matter-of-factly, pacing over to the window and looking out into the grounds.
"I…it's…you don't really want to know, it's nothing important." Flora murmured, still not looking at him and playing with the brandy glass in her hands.
"If you don't want to talk about it that's fine." Jarvis replied softly "I thought it might help that's all…" he added as he turned back to face her. "Is this about that letter?" he asked quietly when she still didn't answer.
Jerking her head up suddenly when he said that, Flora quickly turned her head away again to hide the tears that were gathering in her eyes. "Why do you say that?" she asked more sharply than she had intended to try and hide the giveaway tremor in her voice.
"Because you seemed fine before I gave it to you, and last night, and then today…now well you don't seem quite as alright." Walter replied patiently.
"I'm being silly that's all. Don't trouble yourself over it….it's nothing really." Flora mumbled stubbornly, half-hoping that he'd give up his questioning and let her go upstairs to cry in the privacy of her room if she so wanted while another part of her was very touched at his concern, silently hoping he would continue to press her, just so she didn't have to be alone right now. Thinking she'd convinced him to let it lie when he didn't reply, she tried to suppress the flash of disappointment that flared up briefly but then gave a start when he sat down in the fireside chair opposite her.
"Very well, if it's nothing as you say then I'll leave it," he said evenly after a couple of moments, picking up a book that was lying on the shelf next to his chair "I won't intrude on your peace and will sit and read quietly while you get warm. However," he added, opening the book and looking up at her "if it isn't nothing, then I'm very happy to listen."
A few minutes later, Flora was still playing with the glass in her hand, running her fingers nervously over the rim while she stared into the fire, occasionally glancing up to sneak a glance at the butler who, as he said he would be, was quietly reading his book, albeit also glancing up from time to time although Flora hadn't noticed this yet.
"It was the letter."
Looking up from his book as the housekeeper eventually gave in, Jarvis put his bookmark back in place and gently closed the book, waiting for her to continue.
"It was from an old colleague, someone I knew when I used to work in London; she's one of my oldest friends from service, I've known her for years…she was writing to tell me she's ….she's getting married next month…..to my ex-fiancé."
Raising his eyebrows in surprise as Flora blurted out the last bit, Jarvis was momentarily nonplussed, 'she had been engaged?' before pulling his attention back to the conversation.
"I'm being silly though, things were over years ago between us – between Francis and I that is, I really shouldn't care…" she added quickly "It's just…she wants me to go to the wedding and I don't know…I just don't know if can…"
"It's alright Flora." Jarvis cut in gently "You are allowed to be upset. Just reply saying that you can't get the time off as it would take too long to go up to London from here."
"She'll know I don't want to though…" Flora murmured
"Who was it that…I mean, why did you…things finish between the two of you?" Jarvis asked tentatively after a few moments.
"Why didn't I marry him do you mean?" Flora asked after a moment's confusion.
"Yes." Jarvis replied softly "If you don't mind telling me of course?" he added hastily as she hesitated for a moment.
"No, no it's fine," Flora said quickly, taking a deep breath she carried on "We wanted different things. He wanted to move back to Ireland straight after the wedding, carry on the family farm. I wanted to stay in England, for a while at least. I'd left all that behind when I was fifteen; I wasn't ready to go back to it so soon."
"So what happened?" Jarvis prompted as the housekeeper fell silent.
"We had a big argument two days before our wedding day. He told me if I didn't want to do things his way then I shouldn't turn up at the church that Saturday. So I didn't. I think he was still expecting me to all along, I was still expecting me to in all honesty." Flora said quietly, finally looking up at Jarvis as she spoke.
"I'm sorry." Jarvis said rather awkwardly, not really knowing what else to say.
"Don't be," she said softly, attempting a small smile.
"Are you still in love with him?" Jarvis asked suddenly "My apologies, that was an incredible impertinence, don't answer that if you don't want to." he added hastily as Flora raised her eyebrows in surprise at his question.
Pausing for a moment, Flora frowned slightly, looking away from him at the fire "No I'm not." As she turned back to face him, Jarvis ignored the reflexive twinge of relief he felt at hearing her say that "I thought I was at the time, looking back though I'm not so sure I ever really was…" she added, looking back up at him as she trailed off.
"Just playing devil's advocate here," Jarvis asked hesitantly "if that is the case, then why are you so upset?"
Sighing deeply, Flora took another sip of her brandy before answering. "I know deep down I'm not in love with him..…it's just sometimes I think what my life would be like if I had gone to the church that morning, how different it would be to what it is now. Now that he's getting married, I don't know, it makes it all that more final I suppose. He will have that life whereas I'm still here…." she trailed off once more, turning her head back to the fire, hoping he hadn't spotted the tears that were gathering in her eyes as she spoke. What on earth was she doing she suddenly thought, spilling all this out to him, he must think she was the worst kind off irrational female he had ever had the misfortune to encounter.
Clearing his throat slightly self-consciously, Jarvis surreptitiously tried to search for his handkerchief while trying to think of something comforting to say, consoling women was not really something he usually did, in fact he usually tried to actively avoid it. Digging into his waistcoat pocket he pulled out his watch along with his handkerchief and was about to offer it over when Flora suddenly looked up and saw the watch in his hand before quickly cutting in "I'm so sorry, you've been so kind and I'm sure you have much more important things to be doing this evening than listen to me go on, I really should be going."
"No Mrs Ryan, not at all. Please, stay as long as you like." Jarvis placated, stuffing the watch back into his pocket, silently cursing the fact he had put his handkerchief in there as well, she probably thought he was trying to get rid of her now.
"No, no, I've already imposed far too much." Flora added determinedly, getting to her feet and quickly trying to brush away the stray tear that had managed to escape without him noticing. "Thank you for the drink."
"Not at all Mrs Ryan." Jarvis replied, rising from his chair also and taking the glass from her hands "and you were not imposing in the slightest. I hope you sleep well." he added, holding her gaze and pressing his handkerchief into her hand as she turned to leave.
"I…uh…thank you Mr Jarvis." Flora stammered slightly, her hand closing round the handkerchief for a moment as she met his gaze.
"Goodnight Mrs Ryan." Jarvis said softly, watching as she quickly left the room, before shaking his head and moving over to his desk, just a slight frown creasing his brow as he did so.
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