Chapter Four: Golden Eyes - Bella
"I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream - I know you, that look in your eyes is so familiar a gleam - And I know it's true that visions are seldom all they seem - But if I know you, I know what you'll do - You'll love me at once, the way you did once upon a dream"
- Once Upon A Dream (Sleeping Beauty)
Friday, March 5, 2004
I knew our romance was doomed, and there were a number of reasons why; Summer was approaching and my trip with my Dad would eat into any time we might be able to carve out together. He was too shy to make a first move, and I didn't really want to be the aggressor with my first boyfriend. But mostly, there was this feeling, like he was wrong for me that I just couldn't shake. Yet despite all those marks against us as a couple, I still wanted to know if Josh Holly was a good kisser.
At the same time, all of those things did make me nervous as we sat in his dad's oversized pick up truck. Josh was a Junior and I was still a lowly sophomore. We had been friends for years, but I had never guessed he had a thing for me. He had brought me out to one of the few places in the city I had actually visited before, Fountain Park. It was one of several water features scattered around, designed to drive up real estate values. This one had a small park surrounding it instead of a housing development. He sat in silence awkwardly staring out at the tiny lake, as dusk turned the sky purple.
"Are you going to kiss me, or did you just bring me out here to watch the water slowly evaporate?" I didn't look at him, my confidence was only a front.
"Do you want me to kiss you?" He asked, risking a glance towards me.
"I wouldn't be here if I didn't." I turned to look at him directly. He took a deep breath and then slowly leaned in with a bit of a nervous jitter in his shoulders. We got to within an inch, and I could smell cigarettes on his breath. When it occurred to me I was sitting alone with a guy I didn't want to date, in the middle of an area of town miles away from home. I began to shake my head and pulled away.
"I'm sorry. I can't do this. Take me home." I shut down and turned away from him.
"I can't believe this. I bring you out here and you're just going to tease me? You're not that pretty." He snapped, and I felt my hand flying before I thought about what it could mean. My hand stung from the impact, and he reared back in anger. I thought he was about to hit me too instead he just clenched his jaw. "Screw you bitch, find your own way home." He unlocked the doors and I found myself standing in an empty parking lot alone.
Thankfully there was a nearby phone booth, so I tried Mom, but got the answering machine. I knew there was a bus stop in the area, but I wasn't exactly sure where. I asked directions from three strangers before I found it and had to wait nearly thirty minutes before the bus arrived. Two transfers and a few hours later and I was finally close to home. I had to walk the final mile, and while I felt safe in my neighborhood it was still close to midnight.
I was five blocks away when I saw the coyote. It was watching me, perhaps judging if I would make good prey. I stopped and for a fleeting instant we locked eyes. I felt terror, but also a strange sense of calm. This creature was just living, and if it killed me I wouldn't have been angry at it. I would've been pissed about dying that way, but at least it was interesting. Of the millions of ways to go, getting eaten by a coyote was damn unusual in 2004.
Then without warning it ran away from me. I watched it disappear into the brushes heading into the wilderness behind my neighborhood. For a moment I wished it back, I wanted something from it but I didn't know what. I lingered on that feeling for several minutes before continuing on. Mom was asleep on the couch when I got home. As the door clicked she was sitting bolt upright.
"Bella!" She said, and almost fell stumbling out of the blanket she was wrapped in.
"I'm so…" I started but she ran over and gripped me by the shoulders with an excited look on her face.
"How was it? Did you kiss him?" She sounded like this was the most amazing thing in the world.
"Mmm… Renee I just got dumped in a parking lot ten miles from home by a shit in a pick up truck because he had nice hair and a pretty smile. I'm two hours past my curfew and all you can say is how did it go?"
"It isn't like you couldn't handle things, I mean you're here aren't you?" She let go and moved into the kitchen and pulled out two pints of ice cream from the freezer and grabbed us some spoons. "So what happened?" She plopped the container in front of me and began to dig into her own.
"I couldn't do it. We were about to and something stopped me, like he wasn't worth it. Turns out I was right, he wasn't worth it." I opened up my pint and took a spoonful, the cold chocolate hit my tongue and somehow it began to push away the inner turmoil. If I had just kissed him, I would've been home hours ago. No, if I kissed him I probably would have gone too far.
"Good for you. I wouldn't have stopped like that. Oh, by the way, I've got the evening shift all this week so you're on your own. " She said before launching into one of her classic rants about shift work. I just ate in silence wishing I were alone.
Wednesday, August 25, 2004
After our dinner the day before, I was looking forward to going to Angela's house after school. I had to navigate the lunch hour again, and almost had to push Mike into the lockers this time because he was being so aggressive with his flirting. I could tell his behavior was pissing off Jessica and I wasn't sure I cared. The more time I spent with her the less she seemed to be genuine in what she said at any given moment.
Angela on the other hand felt like a true friend, and I was happy that things were moving in that direction. She drove again after meeting up in the school parking lot. Her little Toyota was exactly the type of thing I was envisioning when I pitched my need for a car to Dad before coming to Forks. As we pulled up to her house she paused before we got out.
"Last chance, we can go to Little Vitos instead." She offered, making me laugh.
"Angela, I'm not going to blow off your parents. It was really nice of them to invite me over." I was shaking my head but had a wide smile on my face.
"They're just happy to see me hanging out with any friend." Angela seemed somewhat sad, as though this topic brought up some bad stuff.
"Oh, so I'm just a convenient stand in for a real friend?" I said in deadpan hoping she would see it as a joke.
She shook her head. "No, you are my friend. Maybe the best friend I've ever had." She sounded a touch desperate, and I felt for her. To me our new relationship was being built on common interest and purpose, trust and a respect and I had felt from our first interaction.
"I was joking." I gave her a sympathetic smile, and her face faltered for a moment. "I want to be perfectly clear, I feel the same. You are quickly becoming the best friend I've ever had, and I'll try to never lie to you." My clarification made her face bright up, and she nodded a couple of times emphatically.
"Sorry, bad head space." She said, then paused. "You know Jessica and Lauren haven't been invited over for years."
"I find that hard to believe." I shook my head in mild disbelief.
"Dad knows them through church and refuses to have them over." Her explanation gave me a good impression of her father, if he could spot how badly those two have been acting towards his daughter.
"We really should figure out a way for you to get away from them." I was mostly talking out loud, but I really meant it. I wanted her to be free of their toxicity, but I also knew she had to be the one to do it. I could only support her.
"There's no point, burning them as friends has always felt like a mistake." She was shaking her head, as she confirmed this situation was probably going to be drawn out and painful.
"Maybe. I honestly don't know. Anyway, are we going in?" I looked at her and she nodded in confirmation and we both got out of the car.
It was a modest two story three bedroom house with a one car garage. The property was abutting a line of trees separating the back of the lot with another row of houses facing opposite on a parallel road. Their street ended in a cul de sac and there were only a limited number of street lamps. The lack of effective lighting created wide spaces of almost complete darkness between each house. Once inside I found that her parent's taste ran similar to my father's; simple and restrained, but had a slightly parochial vibe with a mild hunting and fishing motif. Among the scattered tchotchkes and trinkets on shelves there was a bit of a religious theme, and the low credenza lining the back wall next to the fireplace looked like an antique. It was a cozy home, welcoming and her parents completed the look as they stood in the entryway waiting for us.
"Bella, my god, how long has it been since you were last here, ten years?" Mrs. Webber held her hands in front of her, clasped tightly and didn't make a move towards any kind of handshake or hug.
"At least, Angela?" I replied, and Angela nodded.
"More like twelve. We were around five years old." Angela confirmed.
"Well it is great to have you back, and thank you for joining us. Most of our guests are from church." Mr. Webber took over the greeting, he stepped forward and shook both of my hands. It was a little awkward and a bit more familiar than expected, yet welcoming.
"Thank you for having me. So who do we have here?" I said spotting two sets of little eyes staring at me. I moved over to the playpen where Angela's twin baby brothers' were practically begging for attention.
"That's Joshua and Isaac." Mrs. Webber said with a note of pride in her voice.
"How old are they?" I looked back towards the three of them briefly crouching down and holding out my hands for the twins. They reached out and grabbed my fingers, and giggled happily. They were beautiful little boys, with longer dark brown hair and the same hazel eyes as their sister.
"About a year and a half." Mrs. Webber answered easily, and paused for a few seconds before continuing. "Well Bella, I hope you're hungry. Dinner will be ready in a few minutes, I hope you like Italian."
"I do. I know Angela mentioned this, but I am a vegetarian." I was sure Angela mentioned it, but I had to clarify. The last time I went over to a friend's house they served burgers, and I had to sit there awkwardly munching on French fries for an hour.
"Of course, the sauce is home made and I found some interesting looking vegan sausage to try." Mrs. Webber said with enthusiasm.
"Yum." Angela said with a very good fake grin. When her mom turned towards the kitchen she gave me a pained look, and I had to hold in my chuckle. The three of us sat down while Mrs. Webber went into the kitchen to get the food. The table was already set, and there was already bread and butter and all the usual fixings set out.
"What would you like to drink?" Mr. Webber asked, not sitting down.
"Something without caffeine, I think I've hit my target heart rate for the day." I had been using that line for years, and no one had ever caught on that it was a movie reference.
"I have some decaf coffee, milk, water or apple juice." Mr. Webber's voice rose slightly when he mentioned the coffee so I took that to mean it was his choice.
"Milk is fine, although I wouldn't turn down that decaf if you're making some for yourself." I gave him a friendly smile and his face lit up.
"That gives me the excuse, I never get to have it in the evenings usually." Mr. Webber got up and disappeared into the kitchen through a swinging door. I couldn't see much as it opened and closed, but Mrs. Webber appeared to be moving around busily getting dinner finished up.
"Your mom sets the rules of the house?" I asked somewhat rhetorically.
"Pretty much. She is a bit demanding at times, but she just wants us to be healthy. This dinner for example is one of my favorites normally" Angela didn't sound upset, but perhaps a bit resigned to it all.
"What's different about it?" I was curious, she had been talking down about this meal since yesterday.
"Well for one it isn't pasta it's zucchini sliced into spaghetti. Two, she's trying vegan sausage and cheese for the first time. Lastly, I'm not a vegetarian and I want real meat." She sounded more than frustrated, but I couldn't help but laugh a little.
"Welcome to my life." I said in an attempt to commiserate with her food situation. Although hers was clearly involuntary and mine was self inflicted.
"Why do it to yourself?" She had asked the question that no one else had ever bothered to ask me. I sat back and thought about it for a few seconds, trying to frame my reasons properly.
"I made the choice a few years back, partially for myself because I was tired of eating junk. But also for my mom so that she would stop eating fast food." I admitted for the first time really. I'd always said it was for me, but it was more complicated than that.
"I'm not sure I follow." Angela looked a bit confused.
"Mom was a little heavy when I was younger, probably because she had been eating junk for most of my childhood. I didn't have a ton of options before I learned how to cook and basically took over grocery shopping, but she would order out or take us through a drive thru almost every night. When I swore off meat, those places really couldn't accommodate my food choices anymore. So, gradually she started cooking at home more often. Mostly salads and stuff, she wasn't much of a cook. Eventually I took over, and she eventually lost like thirty pounds." I had never framed my choice like that before, but it was the truth. I realized that maybe it wasn't about me at all, I was trying to save my mother. I was a bit lost in that thought when Angela started to respond.
"No offense but your mom sounds…" Angela started, but was interrupted in the middle of her thought.
"Dinner's ready." Mrs. Webber announced as she entered the dining room. The crock pot in her hands had a somewhat tasty smelling red sauce. The "pasta" was fine and I couldn't even taste the difference with the sausage and fake parmesan cheese. Angela on the other hand clearly couldn't stand it and did her best to choke it down. The coffee was instant, and they only had skim milk which didn't do much for the taste.
"So Bella, I understand you're a writer." Mr. Webber asked after we began to eat.
"Um yeah." I gave Angela a small glare of betrayal, but she just shrugged slightly in return. "Mostly poetry and short stories. I did finish a novella over the summer. I'm planning my first book right now."
"What kind of stories do you write?" Mrs. Webber rebounded off of her husband's question, leaving me feeling a little like I had been ambushed.
"Up until now I've stuck to drama and romance. I'm figuring out a fantasy world for my novel." It was something I had been thinking about for a while, and I had some broad stroke ideas and a couple of characters, but no plot yet.
"I'm a huge Tolkien fan." Mr. Webber said after finishing a bit of food.
"I'm more of a George R.R. Martin kind of writer." I corrected him, because I was definitely more of a realistic fantasy writer.
"Gotcha, that makes sense after starting with drama. I read somewhere that the fourth book in that series is coming out soon, I'm not sure what it'll be called though."
"A Feast for Crows. He released four chapters as a novella last year in a magazine. I have a copy if you wanna read it." I said letting my nerd flag fly.
"Are you kidding, I've been waiting years for that book." Mr. Webber's eyes went wide and he gave me a big smile.
"Sure, I can bring it over next time." I nodded, and he chuckled with joy.
"I hope that'll tide me over. Given his writing speed, I bet the twins will be grown up by the time he finishes the series." He laughed a little at his own joke but I began to laugh with him.
"Sounds about right. By then we'll get a movie adaptation or something." I continued feeling like we had a good back and forth going.
"There's no way they could adapt it, the story is far too expansive and…" Mr. Webber started, but stopped when Mrs. Webber nudged her husband. "Sorry, I'm admittedly a big nerd."
"Me too." I agreed.
"Me three." Angela joined the chorus.
"Well I'm not a nerd. But I do love one." Mrs. Webber turned to her husband and they shared a look. We ate in silence for a few more minutes, and I was able to finish my plate. I looked over at Angela and could tell she was very done.
"Thank you so much for the meal, and I promise I'll bring that magazine the next time I come." I bowed my head graciously, and they both smiled brightly at me.
"You're welcome anytime Bella, and say hello to Charlie for me. We need to figure out when we're doing the next fishing expedition." Mr. Webber's eyes were wide at the possibility, although I couldn't quite understand the excitement. Fishing sounded incredibly dull to me.
"I'll mention it to him." I said off hand and then got up and followed Angela up to her room. The space was decent sized and she had her own bathroom straight ahead from the entry door. The right wall had a sliding door with a large closet, and the space to the left of the bathroom had an alcove with a desk and a window. The left wall had two large windows that overlooked the street. The grey slate on the front patio roof could be seen when standing up. Her bed took up a good chunk of the space, but there was still room for a stool with an electric piano and acoustic guitar stand. She had a little table next to the stool with several sheets of music piled on top of it. Once we were upstairs and the door was closed I turned towards Angela and began to nod.
"My mom is part of the reason I'm here. She's loving and means well, but she's a flake that can barely take care of herself. She cannot cook or balance a checkbook. Since we left my father, she's had five different jobs and we lived in about a dozen apartments before she got the house. Which is also a rental. Last I heard she and Phil are actually buying a place in Jacksonville. So you're not going to offend me by making a valid observation." I felt bad disparaging my own mother, but I felt I should finally be clear about my reasons for moving.
"That's rough. I guess I take for granted that my parents are together." I shrugged in response as she sat on the stool, and I took her desk chair.
"That's not necessarily a good thing in some cases. People stay together for their kids when they shouldn't. Dad loved my mom, but she was miserable here. The number of times she said she hated Forks coloured my entire view of this place."
"Yeah, that has to be impossible. Weighing what is good for yourself versus your children." Angela gave me a half smile and then her eyebrows raised. "Let's see that story, maybe it'll lift my spirits a bit."
I shook my head and couldn't help but laugh. "Nope, it's kind of sad. But sure, here you go."
Then she read my story.
June was seventeen, almost eighteen and a runaway. Her childhood was rough, with an absentee mother and an abusive father. One random day she meets Alex, who quickly becomes her best friend. They begin to travel around the country, and slowly they fall in love. They stick together for years, until they finally get married and live together happily for decades. Then one equally random afternoon, June finds out that Alex has been killed in a car accident. As she stands at the funeral giving the eulogy, she realizes that her life has never been about escaping her past, it was about finding a family of her own.
Angela was sobbing as she turned over the last page. Then she sat looking at it for several minutes, as though she were trying to form words. Eventually I cleared my throat forcing her back into reality.
"What did you think?" I asked nervously.
"I loved it, I want to read them all." She wiped the tears from her eyes and gave me a happy, sincere smile.
"Okay, but no promises. I'm pretty sure that's my best one. Your turn." I said feeling a bit overwhelmed. I had never shared my writing before, and it was validating and terrifying to hear praise for my work. She grabbed a tissue and blew her nose, then picked up the guitar and made sure it was tuned.
"Alrighty, but I'm still learning. I do have a question, you never describe Alex. What did he look like?"
"That was the point. Alex was written to be who the reader could imagine loving. Tall, short, handsome or plain. Red hair or black hair. Man or Woman or something else. I always pictured Alex as this beautiful girl I used to go to school with a few years ago."
"You're bi, or do you just have an active imagination?" She didn't seem shocked or upset about the prospect, but I just shook my head in response.
"I don't know, I never thought about it much." The sentiment was true, but I hadn't really thought about my sexuality. She just nodded with a casual shrug and looked down at her guitar.
"So okay, this song isn't very subtle or good, but here we go." She played a simple melody with a slightly discordant chorus, which I found very catchy. Then she closed her eyes and began to sing.
"Half way down and six across, all anonymous in the pews.
Listening to the preacher talk about our future, we've got nothing left to lose.
Talking in confession, without direction, knowing that people sing the blues.
I'm sitting in the rows, where everybody knows my secrets and lies
I'm breakin all my vows, cause they all know my secrets and lies
Miss attention scrambling for affection, lost all my patience with your rejection.
Knock on the doors, doing all the tours, is no cure for your dejection.
Smelling all the roses, making all the poses for the demon in your reflection.
But I'm sitting in the rows, where everybody knows my secrets and lies.
I'm making all my vows, taking all the bows, cause they know all my secrets and lies.
My secrets and lies."
"I like it." I said with as genuine a smile as I could manage. The words mostly flowed with the music, but they felt a little off.
"You're just saying that." She was frowning at the sheet music, and picked up a pencil crossing out a word and making a small musical notation on the paper.
"No really, I think you have something. Maybe it does need some refinement, but there's something there." I said encouragingly. Her voice was beautiful, and the actual music was well crafted with a classic rock vibe. Her lyrics needed help, but as I sat and thought about it I realized I could actually give it a shot myself.
"You really like it?" She blushed and looked hopeful.
"I do." I thought about it for a second, and decided there was little harm in asking. "Um, could I take a shot with those lyrics? I think your music is absolutely lovely, but something about the words felt a bit forced."
"Maybe you could be my Bernie. Not that I'll ever be as good as Elton John." She gave me a much bigger smile than I expected and her eyes were wide with possibilities.
"Don't sell yourself short, but let's not get ahead of ourselves. I've never tried to write lyrics before. I was just thinking that I'm a writer and you clearly love to compose music. I hope I haven't stepped out of line." I was a little taken aback by her enthusiasm, but figured she had a reason.
"No, honestly I get melodies in my head all the time, but I struggle putting words to them. I'm also kind of limited in my life experience so that was all about Church and my issues with Jessica." The explanation fit, and I thought of a few lyrics that fit even better with that melody.
"Then let's get to work." I offered and moved the chair over towards her stool. We spent the next couple of hours working on that song, and by the end it was starting to sound like something I wanted to listen to again and again. She had just as many suggestions for lyrics as I had, and it felt great collaborating on something real. Eventually Angela drove me back to my truck. When I was alone I sat in the cab for a little while watching a rainfall that had just started as she dropped me off, humming our song. When I finally made it home I found Charlie asleep in his recliner.
"Dad, I'm home." I risked squeezing his shoulder and he nodded sleepily and placed a hand on mine.
"Did you have fun?" He asked lifting his eyelids slowly and blinking a few times as he sat up fully.
"Yeah, I think I have a best friend now." I felt myself smile, it was a nice feeling to not be totally alone.
"She's a good choice, I've known her since she was little." He said as he patted my hand and flipped the lever to bring the footrest down.
"Mr. Webber mentioned wanting to get another fishing trip organized." I said remembering Mr. Webber's request.
"Right, we haven't gone since Billy's accident. Felt a bit unfair." He rubbed his chin as he got up and started to walk towards the kitchen.
"Makes sense. I'm headed to bed, night dad." I made my way towards the stairs with a small wave.
"Night Bells." He said when I was half way up. I closed my door, and pulled out one of the boxes that had arrived for me from Phoenix. I found the stack of Dragon magazines and found the issue I was looking for right away. I placed it on my desk and sat to write down some ideas I'd been having for the novel. It was almost 2 am before I finally crawled in bed. The last thing I thought about before I fell asleep was how much better I felt now that I had a friend.
Thursday, August 26, 2004
It started in Spanish. I was on the other side of the room, because I had gotten to class late and the seats next to Angela, Lauren and Jessica were all taken. Angela gave me a strange look as I sat down and kept whispering to Jessica throughout the hour. As soon as class was over, Angela made her way over to me and leaned in.
"They gave your seat to someone else." She said in a whisper then turned to find Lauren and Jessica heading towards us.
"Whatever she just told you, it is a lie." Lauren said with a sneer directed towards Angela.
"Really?" I said with a curious and worried look on my face, flashing Angela a questioning glare. She gave me a pained look, but I couldn't betray my goal. I knew Angela was telling me the truth, but I wanted to see how far they would push this, because it felt like a chance to gain some distance from Lauren.
"Angela's blowing it out of proportion. We just thought you might not want to sit with us so we didn't hold you a seat" Jessica said trying to charm me into something.
"So this is about a seat next to the three of you?" I asked innocently.
"Yeah, we didn't save one for you." Lauren said somewhat bluntly. Jessica's expression faltered slightly.
"So you're saying it was intentional?" I asked as though I had trouble figuring out the situation.
"Well yes." Jessica admitted. I narrowed my eyes at her and let my face fall into a deep angry frown. Jessica looked a little stunned, then I could see the realization I was playing dumb play across her face. She instantly gave me a hostile look.
"First, that is a lousy excuse to ditch me. Secondly, Angela didn't lie about anything, and you just accused your friend for no reason." I stood and leaned in a little as I spoke, and risking a glance towards Angela I found that she was deeply relieved but also clearly confused.
"I... it doesn't matter. Angela's theatrics are beyond tiresome." Lauren said with a nasty tone of voice showing a level of impatience and irritation that was unwarranted for this kind of small drama.
"Do you two realize how poorly you have been treating Angela? In the short interactions I've had with you two, there has been nothing but snark, sarcasm and occasionally hostility directed towards her. Has she done something that offended you?" I tried to modulate my tone so I didn't sound hostile or aggressive, but I had to know what was going through their minds. Was this going to be it? Would Angela finally know what her "friends" thought of her?
"She exists, that's good enough." Lauren said with an even uglier sneer.
"That's it, I'm done. I thought you would come around Lauren. I thought somewhere inside of you was still that sweet girl who gave me her Barbie because my mom didn't like them. And Jess, you are the smartest kid in school but lately you only seem to care about two things; being Lauren's flunky, and flirting with Mike fucking Newton. Who might just be the most generically boring guy on the planet." Angela was yelling by the end of her rant, her frustration not just bubbling to the surface but actively exploding out of her.
"That's fine with me Angela, good riddance!" Lauren almost spit out and quickly turned away stomping in anger towards the exit. Following her gaze I realized half the class was at the door listening to our argument. I wanted to laugh, but instead I just positioned myself next to Angela in support. She was shivering with anger, and was in some kind of staring contest with Jessica.
"Jessica, please snap out of it." Angela finally said, pleading with her. Jessica frowned and shook her head.
"Lauren's right, I don't need your criticisms right now." She turned and stormed off after Lauren who had barreled right through the mass of students.
"I guess that problem is solved." Angela said with a bit of a strained laugh.
"We don't need them." I said bumping my shoulder against hers, and she turned and gave me the biggest hug I've had in years.
Heading for lunch it occurred to me that we were in uncharted territory. Sitting with the Cullens was likely out of the question, since Alice had waved yesterday but didn't make any overtures towards offering to sit with us. Although her hesitance could've been because we were hanging out with Jessica, Lauren, Tyler, Mike and Ben. That was the other curiosity, what was Ben about to do? Would he leave the cool table and follow Angela? The future of their non-relationship was likely in the balance. Or maybe I was blowing things out of proportion.
Lauren and Jessica were at our usual table, along with two girls I'd passed in the hallways a few times but had never even made eye contact. Mike, Tyler and Ben were there too. Angela stopped as we entered and immediately turned around. I followed her to the Gym which was dark and empty. We sat in the bleachers in silence for a few minutes. After a time I cleared my throat and she looked over.
"Was one of those girls Brianna?" I asked, guessing about her reasons for leaving.
"Yeah, he was talking to her. I guess he picked the cool kids. I shouldn't be surprised." She didn't sound as upset as I thought she would be, it was a difficult thing to realize a crush was never going to happen.
"You're twice as cool as they are. You are a talented musician, let Lauren Mallory top that." Admittedly my attempts at encouragement were not the best, but Angela laughed when I made the comparison. I gave her a confused look and she just smiled at me wistfully.
"You would've found out eventually, but Lauren is a prodigy. A classical pianist who tours during the summer performing all over the country, and has even done guest spots for orchestras in Berlin and Paris. I understand she's already being groomed to go to Juilliard." She continued to laugh silently, but a sad look came over her and she stopped and looked down at her hands.
"Okay, that's kind of amazing." I said, because I couldn't think of anything else to say.
"I'll never be like that. But that's okay, I don't know if I could handle that kind of pressure. But that is the reason she's such a bitch. It is kinda why I've given her a lot of slack until now." She looked at me with what I could only guess was guilt. I couldn't understand why she should feel guilty.
"She must be under a lot of pressure. But that's no reason to blame yourself. What she just said was awful." I placed an arm over her shoulders and pulled her into a hug.
"Lauren isn't the only one. You know Jessica gets nothing but crap from her parents, even though she is an honors student in line for Valedictorian. She wants to be the first kid from Forks to get into Oxford." Angela sounded like she was proud of Jessica, and I could understand the feeling. Until today they were close friends. Whether that friendship would last beyond today was totally unknown.
I thought about it for a bit, and then asked the most obvious question. "Alright, so they have their reasons for being self involved and overwhelmed, but why take it out on you?"
"That's the thing I don't understand. I've been nothing but supportive and they just dump on me." She closed her eyes, clearly in pain and a few tears fell.
"Then they aren't friends." I said with a hard voice.
"You're right, but maybe I should try to mend things with Jessica." She was lost, her childhood friendships were all but gone. I was so angry that I almost wanted to hit something, it was so unfair.
"Angela. From what I've seen they aren't worth it. Maybe down the line when they grow past their current problems. But right now I don't think they fit into your world, and their presence is only making things harder for you." I knew this was an uphill battle, getting her to accept would depend on how fast she could get through her grief over the loss of friendship.
"But I've known them my entire life, I can't just give up on them." She said almost pleading with me. Yet she wasn't exactly asking for permission, it felt more like she was hoping I would agree with her. I guess denial was as good a place as any to start.
"I get that. Last spring I had a similar falling out with someone. We had been going to school together for years even though he was a year ahead of me. We had been kind of flirting on and off for a while until he finally asked me out. We had a nice dinner, and then we went to this little lake and I wanted to make out with him. Then I realized he wasn't for me." Relating my experience with Josh was still oddly affecting, I hadn't realized I was holding on to that regret quite so tightly.
"What changed your mind?" She asked, pulling me out of the past.
"He had cigarettes on his breath." I said simply, I still didn't really have another explanation.
"While gross, I'm not sure I get the reason." She scrunched her nose up, and gave me a look like I needed to explain better. I thought about it for a while, really pressing against that feeling I had that told me to back away. The confirmation he was a jerk was enough, but I hadn't really figured out the underlying reasons. Then it hit me, which caused me to frown deeply.
"It's kind of hard to explain." I started, and she nodded in encouragement. "It came down to this feeling I had that wasn't right. The cigarettes just confirmed it. Until just now that was all that I had really understood about my decision. Looking back though, I can see there were a ton of red flags. He made several cruel remarks about other people in front of me, and never really showed me a bit of support or friendship. He was also a massive flake, and combined with the smoking… I just couldn't. So he practically shoved me out of his car, and left me miles away from home."
"What an ass." She was shaking her head in sympathy.
"Exactly. I just couldn't see it before that moment. I'd been friends with him for too long." Which brought me to my point, and she slowly nodded in understanding.
"So you're saying I can't see Jess and Lauren for who they are?" She said working it out, her emotions at war with her intelligence. If it had been the other way around she would've been pointing out Josh's behavior to me.
"Maybe, it isn't a one-to-one correlation. I'm just saying that you got fed up for a reason. Then Jessica rejected you when you gave her a choice. Perhaps she will grow out of it, but do you really want to wait for her? From what I've seen you're better off without either of them." I could see something click for her, and it wasn't a joyful expression. But then she did look at me and smiled.
"Thank you." She said softly, just above a whisper.
"For what?" I gave her a quizzical look.
"Being you." I could tell I was important to her now, and I felt the same in return.
"The feeling is moo-tual." I changed my voice a little, giving it a very bad German accent.
"I love Mel Brooks!" She jumped a little, clapping excitedly. She had picked up on a rather obscure reference from one of my favorite movies. I wanted to hug her.
"I'm sorry for not being here. I should've been here years ago." It was my turn to feel guilty, had I known someone I could call a best friend was up in this place, but there was no point in beating myself up.
"Well, you're here now." She pulled me into another hug, and we stayed that way until the bell rang.
Friday, August 27, 2004
"Do you have any idea where the turn off is supposed to be? I swear we passed it like a mile ago." I asked Angela who was staring at a map and the directions Alice had written down.
"Um, maybe. Supposed to be mile marker 43, but if that's right we passed it a mile ago." Angela shook her head while turning the map upside down, and then staring at the directions Alice gave us again. "These directions are kinda cryptic."
"Alright. Should I turn around?" I was getting a little frustrated, we had left directly from school on Alice's orders. The drive to their place was along the highway towards Port Angeles, but as far as I was aware there were no housing developments in the area.
"Nah, keep going. Maybe I have the mile markers reversed." She didn't sound at all confident, but I did as she suggested.
"I cannot believe we're doing this. Do you have any idea what Alice has planned?" I said pouting a little, I was kinda not looking forward to a girls night out. Especially not in the places we would be able to go. Forks, Port Angeles… although maybe if we pushed it, we could make it to Seattle.
"No idea, maybe dinner out at Port Angeles. She said that she would take care of everything." She emphasized the word 'everything' with a bit of dramatic embellishment.
"Everything? What does that mean?" I said with more than a little biting sarcasm.
"Um, reservations?"
"Well, I hope it isn't too fancy because this is basically the best outfit I own." My black slacks and dark blue blouse was my best ensemble but it was hardly formal.
"There it is, I think that's the marker." Angela pointed towards a break in the road marked only with tire lines. I slowed down and made the turn relatively easily, but The Thing was a little cranky about pushing the shocks so hard. After a long winding gravel driveway the forest opened up onto a house unlike anything else in the area. I couldn't quite see the entire structure from the road but it was nestled into the forest, with wooden accents and plentiful windows.
"I knew they were wealthy, but wow." I said trying to take in the kind of wealth that could afford to build something like this in the middle of the wilderness.
"I had no idea this was here." Angela said in equal awe. "This must be like five-thousand square feet."
"Well we're here, might as well not be shy." I parked the truck to the side of the main drive, which wrapped around to the front entrance. Alice opened the door as I turned off the engine, and was joined by four others. Two of which I recognized as Rosalie and Emmett, the other two must've been their parents. Which felt like a stretch, Mr. Cullen was just as dazzling as his three sons and couldn't be more than twenty-five. Mrs. Cullen looked a bit younger, and yet felt every bit the matriarch of the house. Her poise and clothes were older, more formal but tasteful and colorful.
"They make quite the picture, don't they?" Angela said with a small smirk.
"Do they ever look normal?" I said with my mouth slightly agape.
"They've been here for a couple of years, but no not really." Angela giggled a little. We both got out after giving each other a look.
"I'm so glad you could come!" Alice practically skipped over to us and held out her hands. We each took one and she led us inside. Her hands were ice cold and for a second I felt a small shock run up my arm at the contact.
"Bella, Angela I'd like to introduce my parents; Carlisle and Esme." She introduced them with joy and enthusiasm, as though she was genuinely happy we were meeting them.
"It is lovely to meet you both. We have made dinner, and then Alice has something planned." Carlisle said with a warm smile. He had an arm wrapped around his wife's waist and I could tell they were very much in love.
"Sounds great." I said, not entirely sure what we were getting into.
"Bella, I understand you're a vegetarian?" Esme asked with the kind of confidence that meant she already knew the answer.
"That's right." I confirmed with a small appreciative smile.
"But not vegan?" She continued, and her clarification was thoughtful and showed a level of interest in her daughter's friends that was nice to see.
"Nope, I could never give up ice cream and cheese." I chuckled to myself, and Esme nodded with a warm smile.
"Great! Things should be ready, let's eat." Carlisle said, clapping his hands together lightly. They led us up a short staircase through a dining room with a massive mahogany table to a kitchen that made my jaw drop. It was fully decked out with restaurant grade appliances and a refrigerator almost as big as my Dad's entire kitchen. The food looked amazing, and far more informal than I expected as the plates were set up on the kitchen island. The tall stools were surprisingly comfortable.
Then I took my first bite and I almost moaned because it was so good. Angela actually made the sound and her eyes shot open in embarrassment.
"Sorry, my mom has been doing a lot of healthy cooking, and taste isn't always a priority." Angela managed to make her frown look like a pout and shrugged it off with a smile at the end.
"Yes, this dish tastes wonderful but is hardly friendly to a waistline." I said, backing her up.
"Would you prefer something else?" Esme asked, looking utterly unoffended by the remark. As though it wouldn't be any inconvenience at all to make something else last minute.
"I'm good." I said taking a big bite, happily finishing my entire plate. Angela had seconds.
"Are you two done? I need to get you both ready if we're going to make it in time for the flight." Alice chimed in as soon as we had put down our utensils.
"Flight?" I said feeling a little shocked.
"Yup, we're going down to Los Angeles." Alice said casually, as if a trip to California was just another normal Tuesday.
"I can't go to Los Angeles." Angela said meekly.
"Alice, I thought I said close." Esme scolded her daughter. But Alice just gave her a defiant look.
"It is close. I didn't do the Paris thing like we agreed." Alice was pouting, and crossed her arms in front of her. But there was a defiance in her posture and expression that made me believe she was going to get her way no matter what.
"Paris?" I said almost choking on the water I was drinking to wash down dinner.
"That's for next time." Alice said with a huge grin, and I honestly wasn't sure if she was being serious.
"I think she means it." I whispered to Angela who was staring at Alice in mild shock.
"We just need to get ready. The ride is about an hour and while we have a private flight, it is still a couple of hours down there." Alice said, grabbing ahold of our hands and pulling us onto our feet.
"We're going to Los Angeles." Angela said in minor disbelief. "My mom would lose her mind."
"We wouldn't want you to get in trouble." Carlisle said, giving Alice a small look of what I thought was disappointment, but I couldn't quite tell.
"Angela, you'll have a lot of fun I promise." Alice said with a big bright smile.
"Alice is right, this will be one of those nights you remember for the rest of your life." Rosalie said warmly, giving Angela the friendliest smile I had seen yet from her. I felt a bit full and lethargic but Alice couldn't be stopped and she led us to her absolutely massive bedroom with a walk-in closet that held more clothes than the boutique store in downtown Forks.
"I took the liberty of getting a couple of outfits ready for you both to try. Then we'll get you made up before we leave." Alice explained quickly as she pulled down six outfits, coats and shoes.
Then she dressed us almost like we were life sized dolls. The clothes were expensive and elegant, and she embellished the outfits with a few pieces of tasteful complementing jewelry. Then she did our hair and make-up so quickly that I couldn't believe it when she turned me around and I found a different reflection looking back at me. Someone older, and far prettier. Angela was stunning, and had trouble accepting herself in the mirror.
Then we were in Rosalie's red BMW heading towards Port Angeles. Rosalie drove with a strange intensity, as though she were some kind of race car driver. The private jet had no insignia on it, and I was honestly not sure if it was a chartered plane or if the Cullens were so wealthy they had their own jet. The flight down to Los Angeles was relatively quick, and Alice busted out some champagne. It felt relatively innocuous and even Angela had a glass. The next thing I knew we were in a limo, then a valet took the car and we joined a VIP line leading down into this amazing outdoor stage. It took a moment but then I realized we were at the Hollywood Bowl. Rosalie and Alice were in front of us, and Angela was walking next to me.
"I can't believe we're here. I've wanted to see these guys for years." Angela leaned over to whisper to me as we waited.
"I've heard of them before, I'm pretty sure I know some of their music but I couldn't tell you a title or a band member if my life depended on it." I admitted.
"This will be great." She said pulling me into a side hug. I laughed, because I was sure she would be right. An hour later and I was a fan. The music was catchy and well written lyrically. The set was snappy, and I could tell the band put in some effort. I wasn't sure how far into their tour they were, but they seemed to be in top form. Once we got backstage I was starting to realize the Cullens lived in a completely different world.
The entry had a large banner that said "Welcome to the Menagerie" which was a play on the tour name and the name of their album. We were handed bags full of swag, and tall glasses of champagne. A guard asked for our ID's and I went momentarily bug eyed realizing I had left my book bag back in my truck with my wallet. Alice reached into her clutch purse and handed the man three ID's. He glanced up at us a couple of times and nodded before handing them back to Alice. Once we were into the room I drew close to Alice.
"What was that?" I whispered hoping not to draw attention from the guard.
"It's… um complicated. I got you two a couple of fake ID's for tonight." She said conspiratorially just audible enough for me to hear.
"Can I see it?" I almost demanded she hand it over, but made it a request as it came out.
"Ah, sure." Alice seemed a bit reluctant but handed me the ID so that our backs were to the guard. I took one look and felt deeply conflicted. It was perfect, down to the holograms and other security features of a real ID. The picture was really me, but the name was different; Isabella Marie Wagner.
"Why Wagner?"
"There's a famous German opera named Lohengrin dealing with the story of the Knight of the Swan. It was written by a guy named Wagner. I'll admit it was not my finest work, but it was short notice."
"You made this?" I asked incredulously.
"No, but that's another much longer story for another day." She shook her head and took the ID back, tossing it into her purse.
"Why the ID?" I asked as curiosity got the better of me.
"We're going to a club after this, I wanted you two to have fun tonight. But this is just weird." Alice pointed towards the back wall where there were several large cages with real zoo animals.
"I like it." I said with mock seriousness. "Although I think they are taking the theme a little far."
"At least it's bold. The music wasn't bad either, I know Angela likes them." Alice smiled knowingly, but answered as though I hadn't been using sarcasm at all.
We wandered around for a little while and met most of the band as the members made the rounds. Then we were back in the limo heading into another part of the city. I quickly got lost trying to look at the street signs, and instead paid attention to the city itself. It was flat and dense, with some kind of shopping center every couple of blocks. For a city as big as it was, there were very few people on the streets. Then we turned onto Pico Boulevard where I'd been stuck in traffic with my father during our vacation. It let me know we were heading towards the ocean. After a few more turns where I lost track again. Eventually we pulled into what felt like a random parking garage, and then we ventured out into a throng of people. They were milling about a long strip of shopping that signs indicated was called the 3rd Street Promenade.
The entrance to the club wasn't what I imagined a LA club to be like, there was a bouncer but there wasn't a massive line waiting to get in. As we approached he glanced at the four of us and asked for ID from me and Alice, waving Angela and Rosalie in without bothering. After he looked back and forth a couple of times he let us through.
It wasn't a big space, but it was packed. Two floors of people moving around each other, groping, kissing and dancing. The music was oppressive, but along the edges tinted glass panels blocked it enough that conversation could be had but still had a view out onto the dance floor. To massive bars lined the back wall on each floor. The second floor had an almost magical glass floor that lit up and cast colors upwards and downwards in shifting patterns. You could just make out the feet and legs moving on the second floor, but nothing else really.
Alice ordered us some drinks, I didn't really pay attention to what. One sip and I knew it was alcohol. Angela tried to protest, and I made a token effort but there was really no point. By our second drink we were out dancing. Both men and women tried to dance with us, two in particular who seemed to be some kind of couple kept close. I had to admit there was an attraction, not so much with the guy but the woman was intoxicating. Angela was just happy to be getting the attention.
I was starting to feel like the room was spinning after a while, and I made sure Angela was alright and then made my way back to the table. Alice took my place, and Rosalie leaned in.
"Having fun?" She sounded like she was pleased I was enjoying myself. I nodded a couple of times.
"I don't think I would've ever gone out like this on my own." I felt my speech slur slightly, but I kind of liked how it felt.
"Alice has a way with adventures. She was being totally honest when she said we would hit Paris next time. Although I'm not sure Edward will go along with it." She said, shaking her head slightly as though his wishes alone could condemn our trip.
"Why not, if I want to go, what can he say about it?" I was shaking my head, I would not let anyone dictate my choices. Rosalie actually began to laugh.
"What is it?" I asked, feeling deeply curious about why this family acted the way they did.
"You are not who I thought you were, Bella. Alice was right." She gave me a genuine smile, and it oddly made me feel a little light headed.
"That's good, I think." I nodded with an odd exaggeration. My body was not quite moving like I wanted it to.
"It's good." She said and her smile turned slightly mysterious.
"You know you are the prettiest woman I've ever seen in real life. I can't believe I said that." I felt myself sway a little, and looked her in the eyes. She met mine without hesitation, and I was transfixed by her. It lasted for just a few seconds, but I felt a bit of excitement I wasn't expecting. The kind of arousal I usually tried to ignore. "I promise I'm not hitting on you. I wouldn't even know how."
"You wouldn't be the first, or the last. Although it is curious to hear you say that. Are you unsure of your sexuality?" She seemed curious, and tilted her head slightly waiting for a response.
"That question came up the other day, and I'm honestly not sure. Is this what it's like to be drunk?" I didn't want to think about myself, so changing the subject felt like the right move.
"You are not drunk, but two more and you will be. So shall I get you another?" Her offer was strange, giving me the choice to sober up or get further sloshed.
"Why not." I said after a few seconds, I was safe and none of us were driving for hours. She nodded once and left right away.
Alice came back at roughly the same time, looking a bit concerned. "I lost Angela in the crowd somehow."
"She probably just went to the bathroom. Come to think of it, I should do that too. Tell Rose I'll be right back." I said feeling the sudden urge to pee.
"Will do." She said a little distractedly.
It took me longer than I wanted but eventually I found the bathroom. There was a bit of a line, and Angela wasn't there. When I was done I made my way back to our table just as Angela finally returned.
"I've never had so many guys want to be near me." She sounded a bit breathless and downed one of the drinks Rose had brought from the bar. I took a big gulp from the other one and grabbed Angela's hand. I also pulled in Alice and Rosalie and the four of us danced for another hour before I felt like my feet were going to fall off. I dozed off a little in the limo, and woke up long enough to board the plane. I must've fallen asleep at that point because the next thing I knew Rose was waking me up to get into the car back to Forks. Once we were back at the Cullens house I was finally awake enough to stay that way.
The first rays of dawn were just peeking through the dense forest surrounding the house, but the way the light passed through the various windows was simply gorgeous. Angela was just as sleepy as I was but we got changed back into our normal clothes, were force fed some breakfast and coffee and then sent on our way. As we got in my truck I turned to Angela who had a small happy smile on her face.
"That was incredible." I said feeling almost euphoric.
"I had so much fun. Can you believe how much we did tonight?" She had her eyes closed, but had her face turned towards the sunlight.
"Can you believe how much we drank tonight? I'm afraid dad is gonna give me a breathalyzer when I get home." I wasn't entirely serious because we had the right excuse to be out all night, a sleepover. But I didn't know exactly what he would do when I got home.
"Don't worry about it, we had planned a sleepover so no big deal." She said exactly what I was thinking and it helped placate my worry.
"I guess they are friends now." I said feeling confused about the entire evening. It was strange and wonderful and utterly wild. Yet it confirmed that Alice and Rosalie Cullen very much wanted to be our friends.
"Sure seems like it. I think it's nice, no one ever tries to talk to the Cullens." Angela said with a small frown.
"After the generosity and friendship they just showed us, I cannot imagine why?" I took a deep breath and started up the truck with a pang of sadness that our wonderful night was over.
Monday, August 30, 2004
"Hello." I had been expecting the introduction but it was strange to actually hear Edward speak. His voice was musical, almost a perfect tenor with a slightly foreign accent that I couldn't begin to place. His hair was still damp from the rain and he looked like he had stepped out of a photo shoot for some expensive hair gel. His expression was open and friendly, and he had a bit of a lopsided smile aimed directly at me. I felt my breath catch almost involuntarily, despite having spent hours with his incredibly gorgeous parents, brother and sisters. I nodded, unable to quite conjure the words to reply.
"Let me formally introduce myself, my Name is Edward Cullen. I do apologize for not greeting you properly last week." He had such an apologetic tone and expression that I couldn't quite believe I was looking at the same person that had been so openly hostile only a week ago.
"Right, I guess it's nice to meet you. Call me Bella." I replied without much enthusiasm.
"I deserve that indifference. I treated you poorly last week." He sounded sorrowful, and his expression matched his voice.
"Poorly, you treated me like I had leprosy. And don't give me the same cryptic answer your sister gave me. I get she couldn't tell me your reasons, but what's your excuse?" I let out a bit of the anger I still felt about his reaction towards me, but kept most of it back.
"It has to do with my family." He said evasively.
"A family tragedy that took all your siblings out of school for the day, and only kept two of you away for the week? That's kind of weird, because as far as I know you and Jasper are not blood related." I let my sarcasm out in full force, and he leaned back a little in response.
"Well no. It isn't exactly easy to talk about." He paused and lowered his head, and I could see a wave of sadness cross his face. "My cousin Tanya, my only living relative I might add, fell gravely ill. I had just found out the news when class started."
"I understand reacting poorly to news, but what excuse do you have to treat a total stranger like that? Look, I am sorry to hear about your cousin, I hope she's okay." The sympathy was forced because for some reason I knew he was lying. Alice and the rest of the Cullens did not seem remotely upset or grieving, unless they had no connection to this Tanya. I suppose I didn't have the details of their family dynamic, but this felt like the second lie in as many minutes.
"Yes thank you, she recovered on Saturday. As for my behavior, there is no excuse, I just beg for your forgiveness." Despite my suspicions, he seemed genuine in his apology.
"Fine, you're forgiven. We have like fifteen minutes left, let's get started." I looked away before he could respond, turning towards the box sitting at the edge of our table and pulling it towards me. The slides were onion root tip cells separated into phases of mitosis for beginners. I spread them out on the table and pulled out the worksheet.
"I can record if you like." Edward offered, and I shrugged and pushed the paper towards him. I loaded the first slide and looked at him, but he shook his head. "Ladies first." I stopped myself from rolling my eyes, and set the magnification properly and quickly identified it.
"Prophase." I said pulling away from the scope.
"Do you mind if I look?" He asked, and I nodded. He gave me a quick flash of a crooked smile, that made me feel a little unsure of my frustration with him. Then as he reached for the microscope his hand brushed against mine and I felt a shock as though an electric current passed through us. His fingers were as cold as Alice's were on Friday, like he had been holding them against ice right before coming to class. I retreated from his touch and rolled it into a shrug, hoping he wouldn't notice.
"Prophase." He said with a small curl of a grin, as though impressed I could assess something so simple.
"Like I said, and anyway I thought it was kind of the point of lab partners to check each other's work. Actually, speaking of lab partners, where's Alice?" The question seemed to catch him off guard because he momentarily forgot the second slide in his hands. I took it from him, careful not to touch his skin again, and checked it.
"Anaphase." I said as soon as the microscope was dialed in properly.
"May I?" He asked again, and I pushed the scope towards him. He glanced at it briefly. "Anaphase." He said almost inaudibly, then quickly wrote it down and placed it in the spot designated on the paper. Then without pause, he reached over to the box and pulled out the third slide and placed it quickly.
"Interphase." He said even faster than before. I chuckled silently in spite of myself.
"May I?" I asked as neutrally as possible. He nodded and pushed the microscope over to me again. I glanced at it as quickly as I could, although it was a bit slower than him. "Interphase."
"Next one." I ordered, holding out my hand. I could hear Edward laughing a little, but felt the slide drop into my hand gently. I glanced at it and realized he had given me one of the previous slides we'd already checked. "Nice, give me the actual fourth slide."
"Good catch. Here." He sounded impressed again, and I felt mildly indignant. Yet he gave me the right one as I demanded. "Metaphase. Do you want to check?"
"No, I trust you." He sounded sincere, so I looked up and he was filling in the paper. His elegant script made me feel a little intimidated. My handwriting was sloppy at best, of course I hated to hand write anything which is why I was happy to have my own computer.
"Wanna do the last one?" I offered, but he shook his head and handed me the last slide. I looked at it and was pleased to realize he gave me the correct one. "Telophase." I said and handed the slide back to him. I pushed the microscope to the edge of the table and checked the room. Ben and Angela were on their fourth slide, but everyone else was either on their second or third. Mr. Molina noticed after a few seconds and got up to check on us.
"So, did Mr. Cullen let you do any of the work?" The teacher asked somewhat incredulously.
"She identified four of them, and I checked two of the ones she assessed." Edward said honestly.
"Have you done this before?" Mr. Molina gave me a quizzical look, and I nodded somewhat sheepishly.
"Not with onion roots, but I was in advanced placement in Phoenix." I had been holding that back since joining the class.
"Whitefish blastula?" Mr. Molina guessed.
"Yeah." I said feeling a little ashamed I hadn't told him when I started last week.
"I guess it's good that you two are lab partners. Good work Miss Swan." Mr. Molina gave me an approving nod and then turned to Edward. "Well glad to have you back Edward. I hope your sister is feeling better, your family seems to be having bad luck lately."
"Thank you Mr. Molina, I'm sure she'll be fine, it's just the flu." Edward smiled graciously and nodded a few times, and his response felt genuine, but I wondered if Alice was actually sick. She honestly felt kind of superhuman despite being so tiny, and for that matter so did Rosalie. Angela and I danced like fools on Friday, but we both passed out before the plane even took off from LAX and they were both alert and looked like they could party for another week.
Mr. Molina leaned in a little and lowered his voice so it wouldn't project to the rest of the room. "I'd like to see the two of you after class for a few minutes." Edward and I looked at each other briefly before turning and nodding at the teacher, who almost immediately turned and made his way back to his desk.
"I hope we're not in trouble. I've never even had detention before." I was a little incensed that I would be in trouble when he was the one that had been missing school. I turned to look at Edward, but he shook his head as if he wasn't sure either.
"I don't see how. There's probably nothing to worry about." He seemed unconcerned, and that eased my own worry a bit. Then he pursed his lips and leaned forward slightly. "May I ask you a question?"
"Sure." I replied
"What do you think of the cold front moving in?" He had no inflection in his voice, beyond simple curiosity.
"You're asking me about the weather?" I asked plaintively, it was the last thing I wanted to answer. "Not thrilled to be honest."
"Why is that?"
"I don't like the cold, or wet… or green for that matter." I shivered involuntarily.
"Forks must be miserable for you." He said with a raised eyebrow.
"You have no idea." I said darkly.
"Time's up everyone. Place your work sheets, slide boxes and microscopes at the edge of your table. I'll be coming around to check everyone's work." Mr. Molina's interrupt was fortuitous, and his following lecture made it impossible for Edward to continue with further questions. Unfortunately we had to report to Mr. Molina at the end of class. He was looking over all the works sheets with disappointment.
"Angela Webber was the only other student to get this completed. I know this because I watched her do all the work while her partner did nothing but write everything down. Look, to be honest this class is going to need a lot of help to get passing grades. But I'm also of the opinion that no one should be carried through, that's why I'm moving Chaney over to work with Newton and Yorkie. Anyway, the reason I called you two over here is two fold. Bella I am reassigning you to work with Angela for the rest of the semester. Edward, you will stay partnered with your sister. Is that agreeable with everyone?" I listened patiently, and was overjoyed to have more time to spend with my new best friend. But I tried not to look super happy as I glanced at Edward who stood without outward emotion.
"Yes Mr. Molina." We both said at the same time. Then we both immediately turned to head out into the hall. I found him walking beside me as I made my way to my locker to grab my coat so I wouldn't have to worry about retrieving it after school. We were venturing out to Little Vitos, and I was deeply curious what passed for Italian food in the farthest reaches of the Pacific Northwest.
"I don't understand, why did you choose to come here if it makes you miserable?" Edward asked out of nowhere, and it took a second to remember where we had left off. I shook my head, I honestly didn't want to answer anything else.
"My mother got married." I said as neutrally as possible, but slammed my locker shut in frustration. I didn't want to encourage him further.
"And you didn't like her new husband?" Edward gave me a very confused look as he basically cornered me against my locker. I shook my head again, but found myself smiling at his insistence. I was gonna have to explain it to him.
"No, Phil's a good guy. Treats her well, and he's always been nice to me." I almost sighed, but it was better than a million questions. Thankfully he seemed to believe me.
"So you didn't come here because of your home life, you had no troubles at school, and yet you are here?" I couldn't deny it anymore, this boy liked me. I had no idea why, but he was asking the kind of questions that only came up when you genuinely wanted to know someone.
"Look, I'm gonna be late but if you wanna know my life story why not meet me after school for dinner. Angela and I were planning on inviting Alice and Rose anyway. We're going to Little Vitos." I felt a bit anxious putting myself out there. I even felt a bit of anticipation as he thought about it, but he almost immediately shook his head.
"Thank you, but no. My family and I are on a strict diet and Italian food is definitely on the bad list." I narrowed my eyes a little, Carlisle had made a pretty heavy authentic Italian pasta dish for our dinner when we visited their house on Friday night. Which meant either he was forcing his family into a diet, or Edward was lying... again. I held in the spike of anger that ran up my spine and met his eyes fully. I had noticed they looked a bit different, but for the first time I realized how much. Instead of full black irises, they had changed into a rich golden or honey brown. I was staring at them when I decided to just put it all out there.
"Alright, Look, the short answers this; Mom was miserable because Phil has a lot of away games. Dad was miserable because I haven't been in his life more than a few weeks a year since I was basically a toddler. This solves both of those problems, and now my family is happy." I finally let out the sigh I'd been holding in, hoping that this explanation would be enough for him to stop the thousand questions. Instead he shook his head in confusion again.
"But you are not happy." It wasn't even a question, of course I wasn't happy.
"What's your point?" I replied with impatience, shrugging again because I wanted it to seem like no big deal.
"I'll see you tomorrow Bella." The closing of the conversation was unexpected, and the smile he gave me could melt hearts. I felt myself blush almost involuntarily, but I had to admit he was more interesting than my last crush. I recovered immediately and turned away towards class.
"Right, later Edward." I said brusquely as I began to walk away. I didn't look back, but I knew he was watching me and as I rounded the corner I leaned up against some lockers to gather my thoughts. There were three things I was sure of; Edward Cullen was interested in me, although how much I wasn't sure. Two, he was strange and oddly deceitful. And I was totally attracted to him, almost against my will. "Damn it Bella, you know better."
Tuesday, August 31, 2004
Forks was cold and wet, my two least favorite things. I managed to make it to The Thing, but nearly slipped twice on patches of ice. Leave it to the Pacific Northwest to have the first freeze in August. I took my time driving in, but never once lost traction. Pulling in I spotted Angela sitting on a bench talking, or more accurately arguing with Jessica. The Cullen's were grouped around their car, and both Alice and Edward watched me park.
I wasn't sure exactly what they wanted with me, but I wasn't about to throw away friends. Especially Alice, and maybe Edward. He wasn't as bad as I initially thought, and yesterday gave me the distinct impression he was interested in me. Getting out I immediately slipped, and had to hold onto the door to keep from falling on my butt. As I pulled myself up and found footing I noticed that the tires looked different.
"Dad." I said under my breath, he must've gone out at the crack of dawn to get the tires replaced.
As I righted myself I took a moment to ready myself for another fight. Jessica looked furious, and Angela was clearly making another attempt at reconciling with her. I had to give her credit, but I wasn't sure why Angela was trying so hard. I glanced over at the Cullens and locked gazes with Edward.
From across the parking lot I could see his eyes, and they were glorious, like they were gilded and then stretched over a whirlpool of infinite beauty. Yet there was something in them that said I wasn't paying attention to the right thing. I heard the horn but didn't really know what was happening and less than a split second later I noticed the van spinning wildly towards me.
I had no time to react, I had no idea what was about to happen. Then I felt a sharp pain across my chest and stomach that sent a pulse of red hot agony up to my head. In the next instant I lost consciousness. I was plunged into a dark hole, and felt a bit like Alice tumbling down forever. Yet everywhere I looked was an image of Edward's golden eyes watching me, warning me for what felt like an eternity.
Author's Notes:
The Friday trip. The timing is a little vague on purpose. If you are worried about the timing of events it does work as such. They left Forks around 5pm, made it to Port Angeles around 6:30pm. The flight got in around 9pm. The concert started at 9:30pm and stopped around 10:30pm. They went to the afterparty for about an hour, then they went to the club immediately after that and stayed for a couple of hours. They got back on the plane and arrived back in Forks around 6:30am. Yes, I'm aware this is a solid 13 hour outing with five hours of plane rides and three hours in a car. Alice is nothing if not ambitious, and totally oblivious to the stamina of mortals.
The question of Bella's sexuality was not originally intended to be in this story. But it is now a plot point that I will have to address. As of now this is not a Bellice story, as it would require far too many edits to make it work.
Next Chapter: The Singer - Edward (POV)
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