Chapter Six: Moments Between Silence - Angela
"Neath the black, the sky looks dead - Call my name - Through the cream - And I'll hear you scream again - Black hole sun - Won't you come - And wash away the rain?"
- Black Hole Sun (Soundgarden)
Tuesday, August 31, 2004
I was sitting on one of those long wooden benches with a concrete frame, when I heard the sound. I paused a second to guess the source of it before I checked. I figured it was a couple of giant robot death machines grappling for dominance. When I looked up, I almost laughed because my guess wasn't that far from the truth. Tyler was laying on his horn because he had lost control of his van on the ice that had covered a decent sized patch of the parking lot and had spun into the back of Bella's behemoth of a truck. I wasn't too concerned with the damage to her truck, but I knew Tyler's dad would be furious.
I wasn't concerned, at first, but then I noticed the reactions of the Cullens and a spike of fear ran up my spine. Emmett was glaring at the wreck with a deep look of concern and sorrow. Alice was in the middle of the parking lot, her mouth was open and she looked horrified. Edward had vanished, as though he had disappeared between the seconds. They were the first I noticed to react, but the rest of the students milling about before classes had begun to as well. A second later I heard someone scream, and a deeply disturbing thought crossed my mind. I put my finger up to silence Jessica who was going on about what I'd said to her on Thursday, as if I gave a shit about her crush on Mike Newton. If I was right, I wouldn't care about anything else she ever said to me.
I got to my feet, spilling my bag from the low seat onto the wet concrete. The clatter of my belongings registered but didn't matter as I propelled myself towards the crash. I practically skidded to a stop as I neared, noticing that no one else was moving. They were stunned into inaction, just staring into the crevice between the two vehicles. I pushed my way to the front and almost retched when I saw her there. She was unconscious, her legs twisted under her. I felt my brain stop for a moment, but in that split second the first thing that occurred to me was to secure her neck.
I crawled my way between the twisted metal of the van and the lumbering hulk of the truck to Bella's side. I felt something pass along my right shoulder, but I ignored it as I gently placed my hands on either side of her head. It was a little awkward, but I managed to keep my balance enough to hold myself steady and her head from moving. I felt a little lost once I got there, since I didn't want to touch her anywhere else. I really had no idea what I was doing, and I desperately hoped it was the right thing. That's when I heard something above me and looked up to find Tyler's head poking out his passenger side window.
"Get out here and help me hold her down." I barked the order without thinking, but was relieved when he immediately climbed out to comply with my demand. That's when he got a good look at what he had done, and I could tell it made him sick. He motioned for me to move, but I shook my head.
"I'll be okay, just gently put your hands on each of her shoulders like I'm doing." I said as confidently as I could, I wanted him to listen but felt awkward ordering him around.
After he found the right footing to keep steady himself, he took a hold of her shoulders. That's when I looked up at him fully, and found he had a large gash over his right eyebrow, and the blood was still flowing freely.
"You're hurt." I said motioning slightly with my head. He made a small shrugging motion, and then tilted his head towards my right shoulder. I looked down and almost winced, finally noticing the pain radiating from my right shoulder, I could see a long lateral tear in my coat at the meaty part of my shoulder.
"I didn't even feel it." I blinked at the red beginning to stain the edges of the tear in my coat. I had felt something move across my arm, but hadn't realized it had cut into me. But it was hardly something I could worry about. I looked back down at Bella, hoping the ambulance would come any minute. Then her eyes fluttered open, and her mouth began to move.
"Edward..." Her voice was small, rough and barely audible, but I could hear her enough to recognize his name. Then in a delayed reaction, I felt myself pale as I realized she was waking up.
"Edward isn't here sweetie, it's Angela, please don't try to move. You've been in an accident." I tried to speak calmly, so that she wouldn't panic, but I couldn't really tell how I sounded. I looked around and no one had turned away, they were just standing like statues, still and staring unflinchingly at the tragedy in front of them. That's when I realized there were no teachers on scene yet and no one might have had the presence of mind to call for help.
"Angela!" Bella's voice was almost clear, and her call echoed in my ears. Then she screamed, with a pain so intense that I felt it in my bones. Her eyes opened wide and I could clearly see her confusion and fear.
"It's okay, I'm here." She focused on me for a second before her eyes clouded over again and she passed out. "Has someone called 911?" I shouted desperately, I felt like she was running out of time. I looked around for anyone who could help and found that none of our former friends seemed inclined to do anything.
"What do I do?" Tyler asked with a touch of genuine innocence. It made me smile at him, but I wasn't sure if his actions weren't just coming from a guilty conscience. He was a little big for the space, but handled himself agilely enough to have some maneuvering room. I looked back down at Bella and her eyes had closed again, she looked almost peaceful. But I couldn't be sure when she might start to move again.
"Keep holding her like you are, we don't know where she's hurt." He adjusted his posture slightly to make himself more stable, his left hand covered in blood. I settled back and let out a small sigh of relief.
I shouldn't have, because a second later she began to convulse. Except, she only moved her torso and left arm. Her legs and right arm remained completely motionless. I had to stifle a gasp and force my hands to stay in place. I watched in agony for several seconds as she thrashed around. I felt my heart break for her, and when she finally stopped moving, I felt a wave of relief combined with a spike of fear.
I looked back up at Tyler who gave me a worried glance. Then I peered back over my shoulder, searching for the EMTs. All I could see were the faces of students gathered around the crash. They looked confused, and afraid, but they also looked disgusted. It was as if they couldn't really look at her or couldn't see her as a person at all. I wondered what that meant. Then I realized she wasn't coming out of this intact, if she survived and returned to school at all. If she did, she would be handicapped, and the only student in school in a wheelchair.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I forced myself to feel all the pity and personal fear I could about this situation all at once. I knew she would need me, someone who would be there for her no matter what kind of hardships she was going to have to endure. Then I heard the sirens, and tracked them by sound until I saw the flashing lights in the dull reflections in the hulk of twisted metal surrounding me.
The EMTs took over and had us stay in place as they got a C-Spine collar around her neck. Then they worked fast, getting Bella secured in their ambulance. As the driver headed for the front to get moving, the other EMT ordered Tyler in as well before turning to me.
"Miss you really need to come with us." He sounded rushed, but insistent. I just shook my head and took a few steps back away from him. He gritted his teeth but got in the ambulance and they were off in seconds.
Chief Swan's police cruiser pulled up right after the ambulance had pulled away, and I could see concern in his face drawing his features down into a scowl. As he got out he surveyed the parking lot and zeroed in on me, making his way over directly. He glanced at my shoulder as he approached, then at the wreck behind me. His eyes went wide as fear washed over his face. His focus vanished as he frantically began to search the faces of the students in the parking lot.
"Angela, tell me it wasn't her." His eyes were starting to turn red, and he was working his jaw hard.
"Chief Swan." I said plaintively, then tried to get the words out but my throat was suddenly dry. "Tyler lost control of his van, and, and it crashed into Bella's truck." My voice sounded hollow and broken.
"Where is my daughter?" He managed to choke out.
"She was hit. I'm so sorry." His face fell completely, then he grabbed my shoulders roughly.
"Is she dead, is my daughter dead?!" His voice cracked the second time he said the word 'dead', tears were now actively streaming down his face.
"No, but she was hurt." I managed to say, and without any semblance of official restraint he turned and sprinted back to his patrol car, nearly knocking over a couple of students in the process. All I could see was my blood on his hand where he shook me. I wanted to take it back, to come up with a better set of words. Instead I found my feet moving towards my old beat up car. Within minutes I was pulling into the guest parking lot at the Forks Community hospital.
The weight of the afternoon hung heavily on my mind. I wasn't sure what to do. The grey overcast sky felt strangely oppressive, but at the same time it was perfectly normal. I trudged into the emergency waiting room and was about ask where Bella was at the admittance desk. The woman behind the desk looked up and blanched, then she quickly stood and led me through the emergency room doors. I hadn't even told her why I was there.
Once in the back I could see them working on Bella through a partially closed curtain. Chief Swan was fidgeting and would occasionally send murderous looks towards Tyler who had a large gauze wrapped around his forehead. The desk lady called a nurse over who quickly sat me down. I looked at her confused, not sure why anyone would be paying attention to me when they needed to focus on Bella.
"Angela?" I looked up at the nurse in front of me, only to realize it was Gina Mallory, Lauren's older sister.
"Gina, you should be helping Bella, I'm fine." She frowned at me and grabbed my right arm and shoulder and a pair of scissors to cut off the sleeve. I looked over at my shoulder and nearly fainted. My arm was coated in blood which was still actively seeping from a large gash across my shoulder. Then as if the wound was suddenly real, the pain asserted itself with a vengeance. Suddenly the EMT's insistence that I go with them made sense.
"You'll need stitches. I'm going to get a cleaning kit; I'll be right back." Gina turned away quickly, glancing over at Bella and the small team working on getting her stable. Gina was gone for less than a minute, and by that time, they had already moved Bella out of the emergency room and deeper into the hospital. Chief Swan watched after her with a helpless expression. I felt numb, and a part of me knew I was probably in shock, it would explain how I had blocked out the pain that was now radiating down my arm. Gina returned with a tray and began to gently clean the cut. When the blood was wiped away I could see it was about three inches long and jagged. I looked away almost immediately, because it was hard for me to look at directly.
"Nurse Mallory, I'll take it from here." Doctor Cullen stepped up next to Gina, and took over. He gave me a shot which dulled the pain considerably, and then began to work on my arm. I didn't look at what he was doing, but he was quick and I didn't feel anything as he worked save for a little pressure and the odd sensation of someone pinching me without the accompanying pain.
"I'll be working on Bella, and I have a few minutes before prep. I wanted to talk to you about what happened to her. But I need you to tell me how you're feeling first." I blinked at him, and for the first time since the crash I felt like myself.
"Sorry, I guess I still can't believe it. Is she going to be okay?" He frowned briefly, but covered with a warm smile.
"We'll see, I'm cautiously optimistic. I understand you got this while securing her neck?" He asked in a very casual sort of way. It helped me relax a little, and release the breath I had been holding without realizing it.
"I had to do something. I don't know much beyond basic first aid, but I read that immobilizing the neck is good, right?" I said with a touch of panic. Had I done more harm than good?
"You did fine Miss Webber. She's lucky to have a friend like you." He smiled widely at me as he spoke, then set down the tools he was using to suture up my arm. "All done." I was surprised, he was so quick and gentle.
"That was... thank you. Please help her, do everything you can. She wasn't moving her legs or right arm when she started to convulse. Does that mean she won't be able to walk?" He clenched his jaw, then shook his head once.
"I'm not sure yet, but I promise I'll do everything I can. Why don't you wait for a while with Chief Swan, he might appreciate the company. He's in the post-op waiting room." He helped me down from the bed.
"Thank you." I said and he just smiled graciously before disappearing through the same door through which they had taken Bella.
"Let me get this covered and I'll take you up." Gina said out of nowhere, I hadn't even realized she was still nearby. She dressed the cut, now closed with several perfect stitches.
We didn't talk as she guided me through the labyrinthine hospital corridors until we finally arrived at the right door. When I entered I found Chief Swan sitting slouched in a chair too small for him, his hands on his knees. His right fist bruised and bloody, a result of punching a wall near Tyler in an uncharacteristic show of anger.
"Did you break it?" I asked as I got close, and smiled at Gina for helping me. She nodded once and returned the smile and left me alone with Bella's father. He looked up at me with a startled expression, but shook his head as he recognized me.
"No, I don't think so. Well, it doesn't matter right now. I shrugged off the nurses wanting to take me to get it x-rayed. But it doesn't hurt so bad." He sounded awful, his emotions tinging every word with pain. I smiled at him, and then sat next to him. The torture on his face made me think of Bella. It was impossible to see how hard it was for him to be completely out of control of his daughter's survival.
"I'll wait here, you should get that looked at. I'll find you if there's any news." He looked at me blankly for a moment, then nodded slowly. Tears started to form at the corner of his eyes, and I tentatively put a hand on his shoulder. He closed his eyes and lowered his head. Gentle sobs rocked his chest for a while. Then when he finally stopped, he got up and started towards the emergency area. As he reached the exit he turned and gave me an appreciative smile.
"Thank you, Angela, for everything." I blushed, not sure how much help I really was. Then nodded once, as he turned again and made his way out. I stood and began to pace. I knew it would be a while, but I had no idea what to expect. Was she going to make it? Was she going to be able to walk? All the horrible possibilities came flooding through my mind. But after a moment I shook my head, because I knew none of it mattered. I was going to stand by her, whether she wanted me too or not.
Tuesday, August 31, 2004 - Wednesday, September 1, 2004
Sometimes waiting to hear news is akin to walking through water. Every step is an effort, every move is sluggish. Your body feels a constant pressure on all sides, and nothing feels quite right. This was one of those times. I found myself staring at a father grieving for a daughter, and I found myself grieving for a friendship that had only just begun.
Charlie came back after twenty minutes or so, his hand bandaged. "Just sprained and bruised. No breaks."
"Small favors, I'm glad you're alright." I almost said a prayer but I was angry at God and couldn't force myself to start. Instead we sat down and remained quiet for a while, until my parents showed up after an hour.
Shortly after they arrived my father started crying, and my mother kept her distance by focusing on my brothers. She had never been good at handling grief, in fact, I had never even seen her cry after my grandmother died, her mother. I was still too numb to cry myself, so I comforted everyone around me as much as I could. My Dad prayed, my mother took care of the twins, and Chief Swan just sat staring at the clock.
Doctor Cullen came out after about four hours and we all stood impatiently waiting to hear any news at all.
"She's alive. We've managed to stabilize her, and I do have some good news. We corrected a congenital heart defect that would've been impossible to detect until she was much older. We've also repaired her lungs and other internal injuries as well as possible. She is on a ventilator, and we've given her a sedative to keep her from moving for now. She has multiple shattered bones that will need to be repaired next." Doctor Cullen spoke calmly and professionally.
"Will she make it?" Chief Swan asked with more than a little desperation.
"She did well through the first surgery, but you must understand that was only the first mile of a marathon. We are going to monitor her for a couple of hours and see how her vitals are responding after surgery. Then we'll be able to get to her fractures. Thankfully we detected no bone splinters, that's a small blessing. I'll be back before we take her in for the next round. I would recommend anyone who doesn't have to be here go home and get some rest." Then he was gone and I could almost feel the mix of joy and fear circling around the room.
"Charlie, we're only a call away. We'll be back tomorrow." Mom said as she began to gather her things. Dad gave Chief Swan a hug, then he turned to me and pulled me to the side.
"How're you doing sweetie?" He sounded worried.
"I'm fine I guess, but I am staying." I wasn't asking.
"Are you sure, this sounds like it will be a long time and there's nothing you can do for her." It sounded like an excuse, and I refused to leave her.
"I can be here." I said defiantly.
"Angela, you don't have to stay." Chief Swan said through bleary eyes.
"Yes I do, she's my best friend and I know she would stay if I was in there." I wasn't going to be swayed, and I could see Chief Swan almost sigh in relief that he wouldn't have to wait alone.
"She's right, Bella wouldn't budge." Chief Swan said with a pained chuckle and collapsed back into a nearby chair.
"I'll bring you some food." Dad said, pushing my hair behind my back and cupping my cheek. Then he pulled me close and kissed my forehead and whispered, "I love you so much."
"I love you too." I murmured back. Pressing my head against his shoulder. The hug lingered for just a few seconds, but it was what I needed at that moment.
Then my family was gone, and it was just me and the Chief. I sat next to him and we just waited in silent commiseration for a while before either of us tried to talk.
"Thank you." He said, breaking the silence, startling me out of a waking sleep. I looked over and he was staring at a picture of Bella. It was somewhat recent, and I could tell it was posed. Her real smile was much nicer than the one she was wearing in that picture.
"What for?" I wasn't about to accept thanks for staying.
"For what you did for Bella, for being her friend and for being here. This last week she has been so happy, far more than I imagined she would be when she moved here. We don't talk much, but I can tell you've made a difference in her life already." He gave me a grateful smile.
"She'll pull through this, I know it." I sounded like I believed it, and maybe I did. I just had no illusions that this day might go the other way.
"I hope so, but I've seen crashes like that before. I know Doctor Cullen is good, but I can't imagine anyone is good enough to repair that kind of damage." He let a darkness into his voice revealing his fears, and I could see it was breaking him.
"So you've been sitting here waiting for him to come out and tell you she's gone?" I guessed, and he shook his head slightly, and then lowered his head and closed his eyes briefly, in what I could only guess was disappointment in himself.
"Yes… is that horrible?" He said breathlessly, his voice broken and hollow.
"I don't think so. You're a cop, that kind of thinking is a part of the job I imagine." I tried to counter, but it felt a little trite. I couldn't even begin to understand the depth of his feelings, how complicated they must be after so many years apart from his daughter. He was quiet then, almost folded into himself, his arms crossed tightly over his chest.
"Maybe." He said after a little while, his voice flat but almost normal. He did sit up and open up a bit, resting his hands on his knees.
"Chief Swan, I hope this isn't out of place. I haven't known her that long, but I have no doubt in my mind that she loves you very much." He closed his eyes again, and a few tears began to fall. Then he cleared his throat and managed a small smile.
"Please call me Charlie." He looked up at me and for the first time I realized that Bella had become as important to me as my family. By extension I cared about Charlie, and my heart bled for him.
We returned to our quiet vigil, as time marched by slowly. Even the twenty minutes it took for my Dad to come back with entirely too much fast food seemed to take forever. We ate without any conversation, and then Dad waited with us for another hour. He left shortly before Doctor Cullen came back out.
"We're taking her in again, this will be the riskiest surgery given the length of time she'll be under. But if she pulls through this, her chances of survival increase exponentially." None of us had any questions, so he returned directly. Then we began to wait again. That's when the Cullens arrived, the entire family except for Edward.
"Angela!" Alice said, rushing over and pulling me up into a fierce hug.
"Hey Alice." I said as happily as I could. Then she pulled away, and turned to Charlie who was standing, but looked like he was about to fall over. I wasn't sure how familiar he was with the family so I took it upon myself to do introductions.
"Charlie, this is Alice, Emmett, Rosalie, and Esme." I said without any emotion, my own feelings were heavy and dark and I didn't want to sound angry at their arrival. But I wasn't terribly thrilled to see them either.
"Thanks for coming." Charlie held out a hand for Esme, and she took it with both of hers. Then they moved over to the chairs and sat together. I moved over to the window and kind of pulled Alice over to join me. She complied, but had a curious look on her face. Once we were out of earshot of Charlie, I leaned in and spoke quietly.
"Where were you?" I tried not to look hurt, but the Cullens had disappeared after the crash, leaving me alone, leaving her alone. Just when I was hoping they were now our friends.
"It's…" She started, but I shook my head and interrupted.
"Don't you dare say 'complicated'. I expected this from Lauren and Mike, maybe even Jessica and Ben, but not you. Hell, even Tyler helped, although that was probably because of guilt." I was angry, and I let it out in my voice. She took a deep breath in before responding, her face no longer bright. I could see her as her mask dropped, and the fear and deep sorrow in her eyes made me rethink the accusation.
"I made sure my father was ready for her. You and Tyler were already in there helping, and I didn't want to get in the way." She sounded mechanical, almost rehearsed. Yet it was something, perhaps enough to forgive her for abandoning us, because she had helped in a way that no one else could have.
"There's something you're not saying." I couldn't quite wrap my head around the question, there was something off about her actions. Why hadn't she waited for the ambulance? Why wasn't she there to make sure I was okay?
"Yes." She said in a voice I'd never heard her use before. Serious and solemn, the pause was only the length of a breath but it allowed for the weight of that response. "I told Bella as much before, but there are things we cannot say. At least not yet. I ask that you have trust and patience. Bella will survive this."
"How do you know that?" I said, searching her expression for any kind of answer.
"I just know. Angela… I'm so sorry." The guilt in her voice, the pain was palpable. I couldn't understand it. Running away was bad, but the level of sorrow in her voice far outweighed her actions. I wanted to hug her, and forgive her right away. Instead I just put a hand on her shoulder and shook my head slightly.
"Why should you apologize? You may have acted out of fear when it happened, but that hardly makes you responsible." I said softly, trying to assuage some of her guilt with my voice.
"My part in all of this. I should've seen it coming." She emphasized the singular, as if she had some sort of mystical clairvoyance that could've predicted the accident.
"How could you have possibly seen this coming? I don't understand." I asked, feeling confused, and wanting answers.
"You will, someday. I promise." She said somewhat mysteriously, but she wasn't being playful. This was serious, and just her expression gave me pause. So I pushed it to the back of my mind. Which allowed me to focus on my real question.
"Alice, this will sound selfish, but I need to ask something of you. Maybe in exchange for letting this go for now." I felt uncomfortable asking this question, but I needed a friend I could rely on. Without Bella, there was only Alice, and maybe Rose and Emmett.
"There's no need, you can ask me anything." She said with a level of honesty and apparent trust that took me aback, I hadn't thought we were close.
"Are we friends?" The question wasn't what I intended to say, but it came out anyway.
"Yes." She said immediately, although I could still feel there was more she wasn't saying.
"I'm gonna be there for Bella as much as possible, but I still need to go to school. I'm alone now, and as much as I don't care about anyone at the stupid school anymore, I know it's going to be miserable until Bella returns." I felt immediately guilty for even bringing it up.
"She'll return in January… I bet." Alice screwed up her face a little. I thought it was a strange way to phrase it, as if she knew when Bella would be well enough to return. "I'll always be there for you Angela, and so will Rose and Emmett. Edward already thinks well of you, and I can talk him into accepting you as a friend. He has some weird notions on what is proper."
"Which is something you can't explain." I said with a weak smile.
"Right. Thank you for doing this for her, she's lucky to have you." She gave me a hug, and I pressed in to her needing contact. She was oddly hard, as though she had trained her body to extreme levels of physicality.
"She's lucky to have you too." She said pulling back. Then we returned to what sounded like a fun conversation. Emmett was telling a story, and soon we were all invested… and laughing.
It was strange, for a family so private and standoffish, they were all very friendly and gregarious. Leading the conversation, and keeping it lively. They brought moments of joy to the room, injecting humor with sincerity in a way that was difficult to explain. Their collective knowledge on every subject was engaging and distracting. Yet they also brought Charlie and I into the conversation so that it never seemed like they were dominating the room. It was a level of social skill I wouldn't have expected.
Unfortunately they left after a few hours, although Alice lingered for a couple more with us. We got two more updates as we waited, the first that Bella had made it through the second surgery. Then she was going in for the third and final time to work on her spine. Three more hours passed, and without warning a woman with frizzy hair and wild eyes stormed into the waiting room.
"There you are! I've been searching through this infernal building for an hour!" Her voice was shrill and a little off-putting. Charlie immediately turned to glare at her, working his jaw again to hold in obvious anger.
"It's not that big Renee. She's still in surgery." Charlie sounded deeply unhappy to have to speak to her that much.
"My baby. What happened, you were so vague on the phone." She said somewhat sweetly, although it still felt like a demand for information.
"There was an accident, someone crashed into Bella." I explained, hoping to spare Charlie some of the interaction with who I had to guess was Bella's mother. She was nothing like what I imagined. She had a deep suntan and sky blue eyes. Her wheat colored hair was pulled back in a simple ponytail. But it was her clothes that confused me. She dressed like a teenager from the 80's, complete with leg warmers.
"Isn't her truck indestructible?" She said incredulously.
"No, Renee. Some idiot kid crashed his van into Bella. She was pinned against her own truck." Charlie explained with a small sneer, although after the words were out of his mouth he realized what he had said and his face twisted in pain.
"Oh no…" She clutched at her bag, and her mouth quivered as tears began to stream down her face.
"Doctor Cullen has repaired all the life threatening stuff, now he's trying to fix her…" I tried to help, but as I was about to say legs I could see Charlie's expression change.
"Legs. She's never going to walk again." Charlie finished, and fell back into his favorite chair. Bella's mother started to sob, and continued for several minutes. I had to help her to the chairs, she was so hysterical. Charlie looked angry, clenching his jaw a few times. Eventually she pulled out a tissue and wiped her eyes, sniffed a few times and looked at me.
"Are you his new girlfriend?" She directed at me. "Picking them kind of young Charlie." She said out of the side of her mouth towards Charlie.
"This is Angela." Charlie motioned towards me, his expression was as bright as I could imagine given how he was feeling.
"Oh, wonderful. I was hoping to meet you. Bella told me all about your trip to Los Angeles." She said with such an off-handed cruelty. She had to know that Bella wouldn't have told her father about the trip. I wasn't sure if that was to pick at Charlie or to hurt Bella in some way, either way I didn't like it at all.
"What trip to Los Angeles?" Charlie looked at Bella's mother with a note of anger, and I looked at him feeling no shame.
"It was a little insane, but Alice flew us down there. We saw a concert, went backstage, and then danced. It was the best night of my life. And now… it's like she knew this would be her last chance to do that." That was yet another example of Alice knowing things she had no way of knowing. I couldn't be sure, but it was dawning on me that she might have the gift of sight. My grandmother Rebekah was convinced things like that existed out in the world. I wasn't sure, but it sure seemed like it was true. Or I could be reading into coincidence.
"Who knew?" Charlie gave me a confused and concerned look, but I shook my head.
"It's not important." I said hoping he wouldn't push for more details.
"You're right. I wish she had told me, but it sounds like a very structured night." Charlie acquiesced, although I wasn't sure if he was just too tired to put up a fight or had decided to forgive Bella for anything she might've done.
"Yeah, nowhere near as quixotic as I imagined a night out with Alice would be." I said using my favorite word. I'd never had the opportunity to use it in a sentence before, but I didn't get any real satisfaction from it. Instead I just felt sad, remembering that night and how happy Bella was. How happy we both were.
"I don't know much about her, but she sounds interesting." Renee said with an oddly thoughtful nod and smile. It was so strange to see, I honestly couldn't figure her out.
"My daughter is definitely interesting." Doctor Cullen said as he entered, a professional smile on his face. I felt my heart leap, he wasn't about to give us bad news.
"How's Bella?" Charlie asked and then tensed up ready to hear anything.
"She is in recovery. We are going to keep her sedated until tomorrow, so that the swelling around her spine goes down before she begins to move. She is breathing on her own, and her vitals are good." He seemed optimistic, but there was something about his posture and expression that told me he was holding back. Charlie and Renee did not seem to notice at all, so maybe it was because I'd been watching the Cullens for over a year, and now interacting with them more closely I was beginning to see they were different. In what way, I had no idea.
"What should we expect?" Charlie asked, bracing himself for the worst.
"She'll be in the ICU for a few days at least. Given the level of trauma I do not expect her to wake for a while. Days, possibly longer. Unfortunately, she suffered an injury in the lower thoracic section of the spine. The bones were shattered in places and the cord was damaged. It wasn't severed, but she may not have any meaningful recovery of function in her lower extremities." Doctor Cullen had this way about him, a manner that made me trust him. Perhaps it was because he seemed so genuine, and so passionate about his calling.
"Does that mean she won't walk again?" It was Renee's turn to ask the question, but I could tell none of us wanted to hear the answer.
"Possibly. We'll have to gauge sensation when she wakes. Right now there is no autonomic response to stimulus in her feet and legs."
"What about her arm?" I asked hoping that it was just a dislocated shoulder or something simple.
"Her right arm was crushed in the accident. There was significant nerve damage and she suffered several types of fractures along all the major bones in her arm, and several in her hand. That will take months of physical therapy after the breaks heal."
"Can she have children?" Renee asked out of nowhere, that thought hadn't even occurred to me.
"It depends on how her spinal injury heals. Optimistically she could have a full life. Realistically, she will likely never be able to bear children."
"Is there anything else we should know?" Charlie's final question was mostly perfunctory, since the relevant details had already been relayed to us. Yet it was important to know what Bella was up against.
"Yes, her care will be complex and will require months of recovery."
"That doesn't matter. I'll do whatever is needed." Charlie stated without qualification or hesitation. To me it felt as though he was declaring that her needs were now more important than his own.
"We will do whatever is needed." Renee said, including herself in Bella's care.
"Thank you Carlisle, for everything." Charlie offered a hand to Doctor Cullen, and their handshake felt like a close to a chapter of our lives, and the beginning of something else.
Author's Notes:
I realized that the flow of the first five chapters works better switching the order for Golden Eyes and The Singer so that change is now live. Sorry for any confusion. There is no way to shift the comments so they will be a little awkward.
I debated how much to reveal here, on whether to explain what situation Bella will wake up to, rather than revealing it to her when she wakes up. Ultimately reader information is not character information, and Bella's reaction to the news is a different matter.
Next Chapter: A Thousand Blank Signposts - Alice
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