Chapter Ten: A Long and Winding Road
January 3, 2005 - September 1, 2005
"It's the time of the season, when love runs high. In this time, give it to me easy, and let me try with pleasured hands. To take you in the sun to promised lands, to show you every one. It's the time of the season for loving." - Zombies (Time of the Season)
Monday, January 3, 2005 - Bella
I had thought my first day at school was embarrassing, it was nothing compared to waiting as the chair lift on the mini-van slowly lowered me to the ground. I tried not to look around, convinced I was the focus of everyone still gathered in the parking lot. What I wasn't expecting was all my friends showing up just as I was settled, with Edward offering to take my bag before I'd even retrieved it from the van.
There was an access ramp on the right side of the building I hadn't really absorbed before. I knew it was there, but it was a bit winding to accommodate the height of the building. Coming into the school with Angela and the Cullens as my new clique was weird, I'd never really had a group to hang out with before because I hardly counted Jessica and Lauren, and Josh was a bit of a loner. The only other friend that I would count, Cassie, was back in Phoenix and we were more of 'hang at school friends' than anything long term.
"I can't believe the school let us all in matching scheduling blocks." I said with a touch of anxious joy. It meant that I would have someone in every class, every lab, and every lunch period. We would only see Rose and Emmett occasionally, but this was a strange situation for me. I wondered if it would continue next year or if we were just getting this for the semester to make it easier on me.
"That was your dad, he put a lot of pressure on the school board to make sure you were taken care of properly." Alice said with a bit too much enthusiasm.
"I'm just happy you guys don't have to bring me schoolwork everyday." I frowned, but they all shrugged in their own way.
Edward leaned down to my ear and whispered. "It never bothered me, it gave me an excuse to see you more often." I felt myself blush but no one else seemed to notice or overhear what he said. I felt nervous as we moved into the first class, which lasted until the teacher actually started his lecture and suddenly I wondered why I had insisted on coming back. Not that he was a boring lecturer, but it was tedious sitting in a class all day going at the pace of the below average students. Perhaps that was unfair, but I was downright uncomfortable as we got to lunch.
The line was long as usual, but everyone just waved me by. It felt vaguely like I was important, but it also felt like they were pandering to my disabilities. I chalked it up to the first day and let it go. It was even stranger when we all sat down at the Cullens' table, with Edward on one side of me and Angela on the other. Alice sat across from me, and Rose and Emmett sat on each side of her.
I began to pick at my food, until someone started to talk. "The lunch room hasn't been renovated yet, but they finally got the budget to do it. So thank you for that." Angela said after finishing a mouthful of her lunch.
"They passed a budget initiative to renovate the cafeteria because of me? I honestly have no idea what to say about that." I frowned deeply, I hated that all this fuss was being raised for me.
"It was an excuse to do something they've been wanting to do for a while. Your situation just provided the impetus to get things done." Alice explained and gave me a half smile. Yet I could see a deep sadness in her eyes.
"I'm sorry about Jasper." I said after a couple seconds. She immediately shook her head.
"He's gone and there's nothing I can do about that now. It's probably for the best, he hated it here." Alice said with a dark tone, her expression as close to anger as I'd ever seen.
"Why didn't you go with him?" I asked, leaning forward and giving her my full attention.
"It's complicated, but it ultimately came down to the fact I couldn't leave my family." She seemed resigned to the fact, almost at peace with it, yet I could still see her anger.
"Not to change topics but I wanted to ask you something." Edward said, looking at me directly. I nodded immediately, and hated the fact my face began to blush. I couldn't quite pinpoint it, but I was starting to have mushy feelings for him.
"I am formally asking you on a date." He was so serious, but I burst out laughing anyway. It was the silliest question I'd ever been asked. When I calmed down I nodded a few times.
"Of course, I mean you didn't have to do it like that." I said trying to suppress the smile still on my face, when a bolt of pain running up my right side ended it for me.
"You okay?" Alice asked with concern.
"I'm fine, and yeah I'll go out with you." I said, holding back the chuckle while at the same time feeling a strange tingling sensation run up my spine.
Monday, February 14, 2005 - Edward
I've never celebrated Valentine's Day. It seemed rather pointless, even the couples in my life never bothered beyond flowers. Of course the usual gifts wouldn't make sense for one of my kind, so perhaps my perspective was a little off. Either way it was exciting to have the opportunity to spend the holiday with someone I considered to be a girlfriend. In truth this was the night, the chance to finally tell her the truth and possibly begin to plan out how we were going to bring her into my life officially.
I still wasn't quite on board with turning her into one of us, but all I could do at this point was present the option and give her the choice. I was staring at my reflection for once, most days I barely bothered. She deserved a date that looked presentable, a boyfriend that took the effort to show that he cared about her by looking his best. I took a deep breath, picked up the sapphire earrings to go with her necklace and headed downstairs.
I could hear her humming in her mind, but I was a bit surprised to find Alice downstairs waiting for me.
"You can't tell her." She was giving me an order, and flashed me the future she had seen if I had gone through with my plan. It seemed fine to me, Bella chose to become like us. She awoke from the transformation a few days after her birthday, and we moved away shortly after that. The family lived in relative happiness for a thousand years before the vision began to lose cohesion and the rest of that future grew blurry.
"What's wrong with that future?" I asked, shaking my head in confusion.
"You just saw how things turned out for Bella. You didn't see what happened to Charlie, Renee and Angela." She almost scolded me for not seeing the bigger picture. I shrugged, not sure if it was my concern.
"They lived their mortal lives I imagine." Was the only response I could think of, of course I hadn't been able to look into those paths of fate like she was able to do.
"No Edward, they all die within a year of Bella joining us in that timeline." She flashed each of their deaths, and while startling I couldn't quite absorb the tragedy. Renee committed suicide after falling into a bottle. Charlie transferred to Chicago and was killed in the line of duty, and Angela grew so reckless she ended up in a car crash with Tyler after they hooked up because Bella was gone.
"How is that possible?" I voiced my reaction, and felt utterly blindsided. "I thought this was hinging on Bella being turned, how could it be so different if I make that choice?"
"I'm honestly not sure why, but I know it has to be Carlisle. Our hints have worked, and they have an inkling of what's going on with us. But they won't ask if we don't press the issue. Patience Edward, I am starting to see two threads firming up, and as long as you don't destroy them again, we are on a path towards something." She narrowed her eyes slightly at that comment, she was clearly still upset about my hastily made and horrible mistake last September.
"Do you know if those two timelines are any better?" The question was valid, if death was always in the cards for someone, who were we to play god?
Alice shook her head. "The human path is not great, and I'm hoping we can avoid it. I'm not sure why, but I just have this feeling that the other path is our only way through, even if I don't have details yet."
"Fine… god what am I going to do now?" I asked, feeling a bit angry and a little confused. I had known about her visions, but I was ignoring them because I hated the idea that our fate was preordained.
"Let her ask questions about you. You can do that without telling her what you are or what you did." She was asking me to lie, and I had decided I was done with that. So I shook my head in protest.
"She has to know about my involvement in the crash. I owe her that and so much more." I knew I could never make up for my mistake… No, my complete and total failure to keep her safe, but I had to try and make amends. But to even start, she had to be aware of my actions.
"I know. I'm not happy about being like this. You think I like dictating what we say and do? I'm walking a tightrope here, and I'm already starting to fray at the seams." I could see the weight of it on her shoulders, and in her mind. She was falling apart slowly, and I wanted to help her, but again I didn't know how to start.
"I should've said this awhile ago, but I'm sorry Jasper left. We all miss him too." I tried, but she shook her head.
"I miss him, but I'm not dying inside. I thought I would be a wreck, but I'm not as bad as I thought I would be. That almost hurts worse. I think I knew this was coming for a long time. He has never been good at adapting to our lifestyle." She sounded deeply sad, but mostly disappointed with herself. Her mental voice was similar, she had some mixed feelings about Jasper and actually felt more anger and resentment over his decision than heartache. So I switched tactics.
"You had abstained from human blood for decades before you found him right?" The question was designed to get her to understand it was all Jasper, and not her fault at all. Not that she had said as much, but I knew my sister, she could be utterly despondent while smiling brightly.
"Nearly thirty years." She answered simply confirming what I already knew. We were roughly the same age, but she had been far more virtuous than I had.
"So you've been doing this for eighty-four years. I had control of this lifestyle by my second decade. After my little killing spree." It was a simple comparison, but I had never really done the math before, Jasper had been struggling for far too long.
"What are you saying?" She cocked her head in curiosity, but I could hear her mind working through the math herself.
"That means he was with you and adopting your lifestyle fifty years ago. While we are creatures that are slow to change, and to be fair he would've been ninety when he met you, but fifty years is far too long for him to still be struggling. Especially for someone with his gift, you would think he would have adapted to our lifestyle easily if he really wanted to abstain from human blood." Once I had gotten it out I felt stupid for not seeing it sooner. Alice just nodded with a miserable look on her face.
"You're right, I don't think he ever actually wanted to be a vegetarian. He just did it for me. Which was eventually not enough." She sounded downright gloomy, which was weird for her.
"I can't imagine what you must be going through." I pulled her into a hug, and for a split second she tensed, but then relaxed and hugged me back. After a few minutes she pulled away and sighed deeply.
"You know, it does hurt, but I'll be okay. Anyway, you should go. You don't want to be late for your date." She quickly recovered and flashed me her best smile, but I could see the shadows of pain in her eyes still.
"I'll behave." I said with my own smile, hoping that being positive and playful might help.
"I know you will, now go and kiss her properly this time." She pushed me gently out the door and we both laughed in spite of the mood.
"Yes maim." I said and continued down the steps into my car, which Rosalie had pulled out of the garage and warmed up for me. She knew how hard I was on my cars, and so she did the little stuff just so it would make it through our tenure in each place we lived. As I got in, Rose gave me a strange look, but then smiled and waved as I pulled away.
Monday, February 14, 2005 - Bella
The restaurant was as far away from Forks as I had been in months, since the trip to Los Angeles. It was a nice drive, but Edward was oddly quiet as we sped along the darkened highway. It was a full ten minutes before either of us spoke.
"I'm feeling very awkward." He admitted after a while, and it actually broke the ice making me relax a little.
"We're going out on a date. It's weird, I mean I've been friends with your family for half a year now, and to be honest I don't know much about you." It was something I wanted to rectify, he spent most of his visits to the hospital asking about me.
"Ask away." He said with a sweep of his head.
"Really?" I replied excitedly, my eyebrows shooting up and a big happy smile spreading across my face.
"Yes, I'm an almost open book. I have a feeling you know what questions to avoid." That deflated me some, but I was pretty sure he meant the stuff about why his family was different. It was annoying to be still in the dark, but I understood that it was a closely guarded secret that he wasn't just going to blurt out to me.
"Huh, well okay. Where did you learn to play piano like that?" It was the first thing that came to mind, although I missed the opportunity to reply in kind to the first question he had asked me.
He actually paused before answering, eventually giving a small shrug. "Practice, and I suppose a bit of talent. I learned initially from my father before he died." That got my attention, I actually wanted to know about his first family, all of them being adopted had a certain mystery that I wanted to unravel.
"What was he like?" I pushed, and again he paused.
"My father was not a good man, he was strict and bigoted. He was deeply entrenched in his values and traditions, and was a harsh disciplinarian. My older sister… I don't want to bore you with details." He had stopped just when it was getting interesting, and I shook my head to urge him to continue.
"Not at all, your past is fascinating. Please, keep going." I encouraged, and he nodded a couple of times.
"She ran away when she was only fifteen." He sounded deeply sad, and it made me wonder what happened to her.
"Are you still in touch?" I said hopefully. His breath caught, and I could see his teeth clench. There was something to this story that I wasn't about to get tonight, I could feel it.
"No, she's gone." He said without elaboration, and his tone made it clear he didn't want to talk about it further. I thought about pushing again for more information, but decided against it.
"So, the only good thing your father did was teach you the piano?" The question made him smirk, and he gently shook his head a couple of times.
"He had some other virtues, but yes, that was the only lasting thing he gave me." Edward seemed to sigh slightly, then turned to me as if he were ready for the next question.
"Could you teach me to play?" I asked enthusiastically, because the piano was something I might actually be able to learn, if my next surgery went well.
"In practice, yes, but I don't have a lot of patience for teaching. Unlike Rosalie, she actually loves… would love to be a teacher one day." I wasn't sure if the slip was intentional, but the implication was clear. Rosalie had been a teacher at some point, and it was something she enjoyed. It made me reconsider her offer to show me how to fix cars.
"So what is your favorite color?" I said playfully, deciding to ignore the information about Rosalie. Another checkmark in the increasingly long list of questions that would someday need an answer.
"Blue." He said simply. It was frustratingly vague, despite answering the question.
"Just blue? Not sky blue, or sapphire, or navy blue?" It sounded somewhat pedantic to know the exact hue he liked the best, but I just wanted to get one clear answer out of him.
"All the shades. It reminds me of my mother and my sister." He sounded almost haunted, and it dawned on me how much he had lost. His entire family was gone, including his sister. No wonder he was so brooding all the time.
"How so?" I asked, hoping he would give me at least that much.
"They always wore blue, partially because my father preferred it, but also because the color suited them. Their coloring was a bit like yours, although to be clear you do not remind me of either my mother nor my sister." His careful clarification made me wonder if the opposite were true.
"Do I remind you of anyone?" I asked, randomly bringing out a chuckle from him. He turned to look at me fully and answered through a big smile.
"Marion Goodman." He said the name as if it meant something.
"Marion Goodman?" I parroted because I honestly had no idea what to think about his answer.
He continued through a lopsided grin. "She was an incredible teacher, I had a class with her when I was younger. She was funny, and always gave every student as much time as she could offer."
"I never thought about teaching." I thought out loud, and he glanced at me with a small head bob.
"You're a writer, that usually is more of a solitary endeavor. That makes me think you are more introverted, which would not lend itself to teaching. You have to be a performer to teach effectively, to convey information in a way that is entertaining. It has always escaped me how to do it well. Speaking of writing, when are you going to let me read one of your stories?" I wasn't sure if it was meant to be complimentary, but he didn't make it sound negative.
"When I have one worth reading." I said trying to deflect, having him read my stuff was far too scary to contemplate.
"Angela says you do, and I believe her." He countered easily, and it made me want to smack her for betraying me like that. Of course she was just talking me up, but it still made me grumpy for some stupid reason.
"She exaggerates, but I'll think about it." I said waving it off, but he seemed to take that as a promise and gave me a grateful smile.
"Thank you. You know I do keep a journal but I've never attempted creative writing." Another little tidbit about him and it was a good one, because it immediately peaked my interest.
"You keep a diary?" I asked enthusiastically.
"Journal." He corrected with a half frown.
"You're such a guy." I actually rolled my eyes. "Okay journal, how long have you been doing those?"
"Since I was taken in by Carlisle and Esme." The answer was a bit surprising, because that meant he only kept a chronicle of his life once it changed completely. I wondered if that meant his life before they adopted him was beginning to fade away.
"How old were you when they adopted you?" It was a pointed question, and I expected an evasion.
"It feels like forever. I was pretty young." His answer was just as non-specific as I expected, and I didn't push back. It was clear there was no point.
"I'm sorry about your parents." That got his attention and he immediately looked at me and began to shake his head.
"It's okay, it happened a long time ago." He clearly didn't want me feeling sorry for him, and I couldn't guess why. Maybe pride, or something I couldn't understand.
"Okay, well do you like anything other than music and journaling?" I asked, trying to restart the questions, but he just smiled again and this time leveled me with a deeply sexy smile that took my breath away.
"I like you." He looked at me fully for a second before his eyes returned to the road. I began to blush a bright red and turned to look out the window. I wasn't sure how to respond, or even what to say if I did. Say I liked him too, just felt small and insignificant. So we sat in awkward silence the rest of the drive. He was a perfect gentleman and helped me into my chair and then managed to get us up into the restaurant without any issues. My dad, who was half again as big as Edward, had trouble navigating sidewalks and stairs on occasion.
The hostess was polite, but looked at Edward with obvious interest, and gave me a small look of pity masked behind a false smile. She took one chair away from our table as Edward sat opposite from me and then we were alone for a few minutes before the waitress arrived. I was feeling even more awkward finally sitting across from him on an official date. What was foremost in my mind was the question, and I found I no longer had the patience to resist asking.
"Why?" I asked, hoping to understand his reasons for asking me out.
"Why what?" He actually looked confused.
"Don't be dense, why am I here?" I said with a bit of defensive hostility.
"Because I think you are a remarkable, intelligent, witty and beautiful woman. I was attracted to you before the accident, despite my strange behavior. Now, having witnessed your grace and perseverance I cannot hold back my affections any longer." The answer left me completely befuddled and overwhelmed. He genuinely liked me, not because of my disability or even in spite of it, but because it was totally irrelevant to his feelings.
"I like you too." Was all I could think to say. We went on like that throughout dinner, and before I knew it we were back in front of my house. I looked at him expectantly, hoping for a first move. Except instead he got out and helped me into my chair, then walked me to the door and pulled me up the three steps into the house. I turned to him, knowing my father was watching and felt like I was never going to get what I wanted from him. Then Edward leaned down and I closed my eyes hoping he was going in for a kiss, instead he gave me a peck on the cheek.
"Goodnight Bella, we need to do this again soon." He whispered and then was gone. I watched him drive away and barely noticed when Dad opened the door behind me.
"Don't say it." I warned, and moved into the house and directly upstairs. It took an agonizing amount of time to get ready and into my bed, but once I was there I felt the tears begin and they didn't stop until I fell asleep.
Friday, June 10, 2005 - Sunday, June 12, 2005 - Angela
"Would you sign my yearbook?" Ben asked rather unexpectedly. I nodded, and signed it with the rather generic; "Hope you have a great summer!"
"Do you want me to sign yours?" He asked with a rather pleasant smile.
"No, I didn't get one." I answered truthfully. I had been distant from my school life, immersed in spending time with Bella and the Cullens, and splitting that with my home life babysitting the twins and trying to be social with my parents. My grades had slipped to a C average down from B+, and I had missed one day short of the limit over the last six months. That meant that I was going to get an earful from my father when he found out.
"Oh, well there's always next year. Actually, there's something I wanted to ask you." I looked up at him fully, I had only been half aware of him until he asked.
"Alright." I said with no expression. He seemed to falter for a moment, and then took a deep breath.
"I was wondering if you wanted to, you know, hang out sometime? Like maybe go out over the summer or something." He was kind of cute, and if he had asked me nine months earlier I would've been hyperventilating. In contrast I couldn't conjure up the courtesy to even let him down gracefully.
"No." I immediately turned and headed towards the bathroom, which was where I was headed before he intercepted me in the first place. There were just so many more important things in my life than a boy who couldn't figure out what he liked when it was right in front of him. He wasn't worth my time.
Once I had the door open I caught him ducking away, and I could swear he looked upset. It made me second guess my attitude, and wished I had been a bit more gentle turning him down. Then I turned and came face to face with Jessica. We had been cordial in the hallways, but had mostly avoided each other. This time she actually stopped.
"Angela." She said in a slightly clipped tone of voice.
"Jessica." I replied back with a touch of irritation. I couldn't imagine what she wanted, she had made her feelings perfectly clear last year. Then I had second thoughts and decided to throw out an olive branch. "Congratulations, I heard you graduated early."
"Yeah, and I'm going to Oxford, can you believe that a Forks girl is heading to England?" She sounded like her old self, and I wondered if maybe things had finally resolved between us.
"Not only can I believe it, I'm super happy for you." I was proud of her, finally fulfilling her potential.
"What you did hurt, and for a long time I was angry. I isolated myself and threw everything I had into school work. Looking back, if you hadn't done that, I wouldn't have separated myself from Lauren or fallen in love with Mike." My eyes widened and I felt a little shock, I never expected her to acknowledge that I was just trying to help her back then. But it did bring up another question.
"I thought you guys split up." I asked, hoping it wouldn't upset her.
"Yes, but I fell in love. It sucks because we can't be together right now, but he's my forever love. We'll get together again, I'm sure of it. Anyway, I wanted to say thank you. Maybe we'll run into each other again down the line." She sounded so sure, and I had to admit I was a little jealous of her relationship.
"I guess this is goodbye." I said as I really absorbed the fact that she would be gone next fall.
"Yeah, I actually think I'll miss this place." She looked around the bathroom and chuckled, "Forks, not this ugly bathroom."
"I doubt it, you'll be too busy in your new life, and I hope you have the best life Jessica." I threw as much sincerity as I could into the sentiment and it made her smile brightly at me.
"I'll try to keep in touch, but no promises." She actually pulled me into a hug. It felt nice to have her as a friend again, even if in name only. She was going very far away, and I had no idea if I would ever see her again. Then she pulled away and gave me a small excited giggle as she left. I moved over to the sinks and splashed my face with water, and looked at myself in the mirror. I honestly wasn't sure who I was anymore. I wasn't the girl who was into Ben Chaney and I wasn't Jessica Stanley's best friend. I was Bella Swan's best friend, but what did that even mean? Was I even my own person anymore? I felt like I was losing myself, and it extended to everything.
I spent the rest of the day thinking about it, as the teachers tried to keep us engaged despite the fact we had already finished finals. Then the last bell rang and I was free from school. My junior year was over and I just felt gray. I stood next to Rosalie's red BMW waiting for Edward and Bella who were almost too into each other lately. She still made time for me, but I ended up hanging out with Alice more.
"Happy to be done with the year?" Rosalie said as she sidled up next to me leaning against the wall in front of her car.
"I'm honestly not sure." My voice and expression were open, exposing my inner turmoil.
"What's got you down Angel?" Emmett pulled me into a friendly hug, which only he could pull off and not seem like he was intruding on your space. Which was a bit bizarre given his size.
I lowered my head in thought, but eventually just shook my head. "I'm just down. End of school blues."
"Well you got all summer with us, plus that road trip next month." Emmett's infectious attitude did make me smile up at him.
"Very true, I can't believe we're going to Alaska." I hadn't thought much of the trip, but maybe it was what I needed, to get away for a while.
Bella and Edward showed up a minute later, they headed off in his car to be alone while I got a ride home with Rose and Emmett. As we arrived I noticed my dad's car was in the driveway already, and the mailbox flag was down, which meant he had gotten the mail.
"Crap." I said under my breath. Causing them to look at me with concern.
"What's wrong?" Rose asked, and I just shook my head a little not sure if it was worth answering and making her worry.
"Dad has my grades and attendance record." I answered after a few breaths.
"Are they bad?" The tone in her voice let me know she was worried now, and I felt myself frowning.
"I'm not failing, but he isn't going to be happy."
"You could stay with us tonight? An impromptu year ending party?" Rose's offer was kind and it made me smile at her.
"Nah, I'll need to face the music sooner or later. Might as well get it done. See you guys later." I gave them both a small wave and headed inside.
Yet as I started to walk up the concrete path to my house the door opened up and my father appeared in the doorway. His arms were crossed, and in his right hand was a familiar sized piece of blue and gold colored paper. My report card. I took a deep breath and went inside. Two hours later I managed to escape to my room, and I stayed there throughout Saturday. Sunday morning came too quickly and I was called down for Church.
"We're not going to ground you." Were the first words out of Dad's mouth. "But we will find an appropriate punishment. Maybe that trip you have planned next month."
"That's the only thing I have planned all summer, please don't take it away from me." I begged. He examined me for what felt like minutes before responding.
"Fine, but I want you in the food bank for at least a week." He relented and it made me want to hug him.
"Anything." I said with perhaps a bit too much enthusiasm. In truth I probably would've volunteered at the food bank at some point over the summer anyway.
"And you will bring your grades back up young lady." He demanded.
"I will." I said, nodding emphatically.
"Alright, go get ready." He said somewhat dismissively, but I just lowered my head.
"I'm not going." My voice was small, I hadn't been looking forward to this conversation either.
"Not going? Are you not feeling well?" He suddenly looked concerned.
"I'm not going." I repeated louder this time, hoping he wouldn't force me to reveal why. But I could only avoid this for so long.
"Why, you haven't missed a mass since you were five." The rebuttal was about what I expected, and it made me want to sigh. It was time, I had to tell him what I was feeling.
"I just don't want to go." I said one more time hoping he would drop it.
"Angela, you owe me an explanation." He had crossed his arms and was starting to look angry again.
"I can't because I don't believe anymore!" I almost shouted, and immediately felt bad because I could see a deep shock and hurt in his eyes."
"A crisis of faith is common, you just need time. Come, pray and you will find your way." He sounded so confident, and I wanted to relent and go with him. But I couldn't, because I knew it would be a lie.
"You don't get it, I can't go because I cannot put my faith in a god that would do that to Bella!" This time I was shouting, and I could hear mom coming in from the kitchen.
"Angela." Dad started, but I just shook my head and ran from the house. I was halfway to downtown when I stopped to catch my breath. I fell back against the side of a random house and let myself slide down to the ground.
"You alright there?" The voice was beautiful, and as I looked up I found the man was thrown into deep contrast from the bright sunlight behind him. His skin seemed to almost glow, and his long white hair gave him a bit of a halo from the back light. I squinted but I couldn't make out his features.
"I'll be fine." I responded with a shake of my head. He bobbed his head a couple of times before turning away. I watched him walk away, his black suit common for Sunday in the area, but his long white hair was bound by a leather tie and brushed straight to mid-way down his back was very unusual. I recognized everyone in town, or so I thought, but this was a stranger. A stranger who was kind enough to ask how I was doing.
I got up and slowly walked home, it was empty when I got there but dad had left me a note on the dining room table.
"Angela,
I hadn't realized how much you have been struggling. Know I will support you in whatever you do and whatever you believe. My hope is that you will return to the church someday, but that is your decision. You can always come to me to talk, no matter what.
I love you, and trust that you will pull through whatever it is you are going through.
~ Dad."
I read it a few times, and it did make me feel a bit better. So I went up to my room and began to work on a new song. An hour later when they came home, my dad simply came up to check on me and then left me alone. For the first time in a while, I felt like I was going to be okay. Even though I wasn't sure I would feel the same tomorrow.
Friday, July 8, 2005 - Thursday, July 14, 2005 - Rosalie
Bella looked thin and tired and I was worried that just taking this trip was a mistake. But Alice was insistent and I wasn't about to mess with her prophecy. Edward was impossible before we left for the airport, worried to death that Bella wouldn't make the flight. In my head I kept thinking of how he saw her; a porcelain angel, fragile, yet perfect. I could only see the opposite, an incredibly strong woman with a sharp mind and some serious flaws.
I had grown quite fond of Bella over the last several months, and something in the pit of my stomach was deeply unhappy about her relationship with Edward. I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was, beyond the big lie. Not our secret, I was pretty sure they knew exactly what we were. No, it was the other thing, his choice. It was the reason we were on our way to our property fifty miles south of Denali.
"So what's the plan?" Bella asked as we got in the rental car. Angela and Alice taking the back seat.
"We go up to the house, spend a couple of days there and then head back the long way." Alice said before I could respond. I had been under the impression we were just picking up the cars right away, and I wasn't alone in that assumption.
"Oh? I thought we would be heading down right away." Angela said, giving Alice a curious look.
"Rose needs time to look over the cars to make sure they are road worthy, we haven't driven them in a couple years."
"Of course, I didn't even think of that." Bella said with a nod and looked over at me. I gave her a small nod in agreement and a smile. She gave me a look I couldn't read, and after a second smiled back with a small blush. I hadn't thought of that night where she told me I was beautiful in so long, but it made me realize I had never returned the compliment. I had to remember to say something on the trip when we were alone.
"This is your house?" Angela asked, staring up at the lodge we had bought twenty years back when Alice decided she liked to ski. It was nice enough, but hardly my favorite of our properties.
"We have a few scattered around the world." I had dropped all pretense around them regarding certain things, although I never outright betrayed the secret the way Alice, Emmett, Edward and even Esme had.
"I know it's probably none of my business, but how rich are you guys?" Bella asked in the blunt way I had come to expect from her.
"Honestly I have no idea." I said with a casual shrug. Alice wasn't adding to the conversation, and I really didn't want to elaborate. Thankfully Bella just nodded a few times and didn't press the issue.
Once we were settled I went to the garage and completed the inspections on both cars in about an hour. They needed minor repairs and some system flushing, but ultimately they were in good shape. I went back up and took a shower before heading down to the lounge area where everyone else was gathered.
"So what's the verdict?" Bella asked with excitement.
"We can stay as long as you guys like, but I'll only need tomorrow to get the cars ready." I confirmed as I entered the room.
"What would you like to do?" Alice asked Bella and Angela.
Bella shrugged, "I'm okay to stay a couple of days, this place is kind of amazing."
"How long is the trip back down?" Angela asked, basically indirectly asking how long the trip would be.
"Depends, generally five days or so, it is about twenty-four hundred miles." I clarified, I had the trip memorized.
"That far, I gotta look at a map more often." Bella said through a shocked laugh.
"Ironically it would take just about as long to drive to New York from Forks." I added, hoping the tidbit of information would be fun.
"Isn't that a longer distance?" Angela said furrowing her brow.
"Better roads." Alice said with a chuckle.
"Then let's head out the day after tomorrow. My mom is already hiring a babysitter all week." Angela's reasoning sounded valid, but there was something else I couldn't quite place in her tone. Another thing on my list to remember to ask when we were alone.
The day went well, although I spent most of the following day tracking down a part that I didn't have on hand. Thankfully a local garage had just what I was looking for. The owner couldn't quite believe I had any idea what I was looking for and tried to get twice the actual price for the part. I almost paid him what he was asking, but then I saw him checking out my ass and I decided I wasn't going to let him off easy.
"This is not a standard part, you ordered this for someone passing through who ended up not needing it and you weren't able to return it. I'll take it off your hands at ten percent above cost, and that's it." I wasn't playing the dumb blonde routine, instead I was giving him a choice from someone very familiar with the trade. He scoffed, and immediately shook his head.
"You're killing me blondie." He almost laughed at my offer, but I just leaned in and smiled. Making sure to reveal my teeth just a bit. He flinched slightly, and started to look nervous.
"Nine percent, or I bet it sits on your shelf for another year at least." I kept my voice calm and even, but deadly serious. His mouth dropped open, and he hesitated for a second before nodding.
"Done at that ten percent." I gave him a look, and he frowned. "Fine, nine percent. You need it installed? That car out there doesn't look like a match."
"The car is at home, that's just a rental, and I am perfectly capable of installing it." I said with a bit of irritation.
"No doubt." He grabbed the part and rang me out.
"Well, thank you." He nodded and I left quickly, returning home to find Bella out on the front deck staring out over the countryside. I came up next to her and she glanced up at me before returning her gaze out at the world.
"I thought it would be covered in snow." Bella said after a minute of silence.
"We would be here for a lot longer than a day if it were." I could almost picture the endless expanse of white and the crystal clear sky after a great storm kept us snowed in for a week just after we moved in.
"That wouldn't be so bad." She glanced down at her legs and sighed. "It's so peaceful here, it's easy to forget."
"It won't always be like this." I offered but she shook her head.
"I'm resigned to my life now Rose, it's fine. I just get nostalgic sometimes." She gave me a sad smile, and I wanted to just hug her and let her know that things would be changing for her soon. At least if Alice and I had anything to say about it.
"We all do that on occasion." I was surprised by my own tone of voice, I hadn't felt melancholy about my existence for a while.
"What do you get nostalgic for?" The question was valid, and it made me realize I was no longer longing endlessly for my human life. I didn't know how or why that had changed, but it was welcome. Had I finally resigned myself to this existence? I looked down at her again as I thought about my answer and the truth became clear. Bella had changed me, her accident had shown me mortality in a new way. I had been thinking of my human life through rose colored glasses, my monstrous fiance and even my mother who had pushed me into a situation where I was nearly killed. Yet even with that mistake, she was the one I missed the most.
"Sometimes I miss my mother, at times when I'm trying to make a hard choice or figure something else, I still feel that first impulse to go to her and ask for her advice. Although now I usually just go to Esme." Thinking about my mother conjured up all kinds of things from my life, and made me feel more emotional than I had in a long time.
"I'm sorry about your family." She said sincerely, looking up at me with a sympathetic expression.
"It was a long time ago." I said feeling the weight of that loss again for the first time in a very long time.
"Edward said the same, how long have you been with Carlisle and Esme?" The question was a pointed one, and I wondered how Edward evaded the answer.
"Long enough that I consider them just as much my parents as my birth parents." She nodded once, and I hoped I conveyed how much I did love my adoptive parents, although I knew my outward mask usually concealed my true feelings. I looked out over the expanse of wilderness and felt a bit of that old wonder, when the world still felt like it held secrets. When I looked back at Bella she was staring down at her hands, her right shaking slightly. She had recovered quite a bit of function but there was some nerve damage that would never recover unless we turned her.
"I've been wanting to apologize for hitting on you on that trip down to LA." She said randomly, and I almost scoffed at the apology, but she was so serious that I knew I had set the record straight.
"Well, you were very drunk and to be honest I liked the compliment, but please beg my pardon, I failed to reciprocate." I said a bit more formally than usual, but I needed her to understand what I was about to say wasn't a pity compliment.
"Rose, you don't…" She started but I shook my head to interrupt her.
"Bella, understand there is no qualifier to this, but quite simply I find you to be an undeniably beautiful woman. If we were to have met in another life I would've been very interested in you." The words were out there now, and I could tell she was a bit shocked by the declaration. Yet I hated to lie, and obfuscation was nearly as bad in my book. This dancing around the truth, when we all knew they would both join our family down the road felt a bit pointless.
"Thank you, but that seems to be my life lately." That took me aback, and made me wonder how chaste her relationship with Edward had been so far. Had he even kissed her yet?
"How so?" I asked, not sure what to expect as a response.
"Edward seems content to be romantic but not intimate. I'm not even sure he finds me physically attractive." She sounded deeply upset, and I frowned as I set to give Edward a piece of my mind when we got back to Forks. Yet I had to say something to help ease her mind in the meantime.
"Trust me, he does. He is just… old fashioned. He won't touch you until you're married." I guessed, but knowing my brother I expected nothing else.
"Married. You've got to be kidding." Her eyes bugged out, and I could tell this was a major problem for her.
"I wish I was. Just be patient, it'll happen." I said trying to give her some hope, although I wasn't sure how false it was.
"When?" Bella gave me a pained look and I shook my head unsure how to respond.
"I don't know hun." I gave her a side hug and turned to go inside. "Are you coming in?"
"In a bit." She said distractedly as she turned back towards the view.
Angela was taking a nap on the large couch in the main living room and I could hear Alice upstairs in her room. I waited in the kitchen, managing to make dinner for the humans. It was modest, we hadn't brought that many supplies, but I knew it tasted good. I had made it a dozen times for my family before I was turned. The evening was quiet, and there wasn't much conversation. Then the next morning we hit the road. The first leg of the trip Bella rode with me. She watched the countryside for close to an hour before saying anything, which was fine because I generally hate small talk.
"Are you happy Rose? I mean with your life, with Emmett? Is there anything you would want to change when you start your life after college?" The question took me by surprise, I hadn't expected anyone to actually ask me how I was feeling. My family generally never bothered to inquire about feelings, because we all came from an age where those kinds of topics were considered taboo to discuss openly.
"That's the question isn't it." I said without revealing anything.
"Edward said you wanted to teach." That caught me by surprise again and I nodded absentmindedly thinking about my time as a teacher. For three years I taught elementary school and it was wonderful. I was able to share my love for children en masse, but eventually I turned away from it when my students moved on and I never saw them again. It hurt so much that I refused to put myself through that kind of pain again.
"Maybe once, not really any more." I said waving off the question, hoping one day I might explain further.
"I've liked our lessons, I know more about cars than I ever thought possible." I felt my heart almost swell at the compliment, and I smiled graciously at her.
"You're still on 101, wait till you get to the fun stuff." I said almost playfully, looking forward to spending more time with her. She was a good student, but didn't have a ton of stamina for the larger projects.
"I'm gonna die Rose, before I ever get to the fun stuff." She said darkly, and my head snapped to look at her. I felt that buoyant feeling she had given me pop, and I tried to think of a way of encouraging her that wasn't a direct lie.
"You don't know that. Doctors are always wrong about things, you might live another fifty years." Yet even that much was an evasion of the truth, Alice had seen her human life end in her twenties no matter how she lived.
"It's hard to eat, everything hurts all the time and I can't deal with my mom anymore. She is hitting me daily to move to Florida with her. I almost shouted at her to just go last week, but I can't do that to her." I wasn't sure what to say so I reached out and took her hand. Then I pulled over.
"Bella." I turned to her and I felt my heart bleeding for her. She looked tired, so I reached up and brushed some hair from her face and she leaned into my hand. I felt my mouth part in confusion and a little arousal. I hadn't expected to be attracted to her, but we couldn't act on it. She was my sister for all intents and purposes, or she would be soon. She was going to marry my brother. But more importantly, I couldn't betray Emmett. Not without a reason. This was just an impulse, nothing more.
"This isn't right, I can't Bella." I said pulling my hand away.
"You're right, I'm dating your brother." She turned away from me and stared out her window, crossing her arms as tightly as she was able.
"And I'm deeply involved with Emmett. Let's just get back on the road." I began to shift but she put her hand on mine to stop me.
"Rose, I know what you are and I don't care. I'm not in love with Edward, at least not yet. I like him a great deal, but I'll always wonder if maybe I should've…" She was looking at me with a longing I hadn't seen from Emmett in years. We were on a cold spell, but that didn't mean I would ever be unfaithful to him.
I shook my head. "We can't do this." Then I looked at her again, and I suddenly felt my resolve slipping. I leaned over and rested my forehead against hers, the simple contact felt so good that I let myself move before a conscious thought to act crossed my mind. As our lips touched I felt a sting of warmth from her, and what started as a light kiss quickly changed into something more passionate. We made out for a while before I finally felt the sense to pull away, and she actually pouted when I did. I shook my head, feeling a rush of emotions I hadn't expected.
"I shouldn't have done that." I said almost immediately.
"I'm glad you did. Now we know, although I don't think things are going to change. Are they?" She said, sounding disappointed, but I nodded in agreement.
"I don't think so. We could start an affair, but that would only end badly with someone hurt." A part of me wanted to give in to the desire I was feeling, that I couldn't fully explain.
"That's about all I do anyway, I have no feeling below my belly button." She said sadly, and I wanted to reach out and turn her right then and there. Maybe run off and start a life together in some far off country. Yet it was just a fanciful dream, and I couldn't abandon my family and my husband on a whim.
"Maybe you should ride with Alice tomorrow." I said, shaking my head at the possibility.
"I'd rather not, I love Alice but I want this time. Can we have this trip?" She reached out to me, and pushed my hair from my face so she could see me clearly.
"Do you mean…" I asked, not sure of her intent.
"I want you, if you'll have me." Her simple declaration made me want to give in, but I turned away from her.
"What about Edward, what about Emmett?" I almost whispered, catching my reflection in the window.
"Just for this trip." She elaborated on what she meant, almost pleading with me to give in to her.
"What if Alice or Angela figure it out?" I pondered how we could hide this from Alice. Then I shook my head violently, "God what am I saying? We can't do this Bella!"
"Why not?" She asked plainly, forcing me to come up with a reason.
"Because I say no." I shifted the Porsche into gear and quickly caught up with Alice who had been a few car lengths ahead of us before we stopped.
"I won't ever mention it again." She said in clear disappointment, but her resignation hurt as much as if I had given in and hurt Emmett. I cared about her, although I wasn't sure how much.
"I'm sorry Bella." I said, risking a look at her to gauge her mood.
"No, I'm sorry for pushing." She had relaxed her arms, and was looking away from me again. "I'll ride with Alice tomorrow."
Angela was my companion for the rest of the trip, and it was difficult to figure out what was wrong with her. She was so different from the girl who let her friends walk all over, she was sullen and angry and more than a little bitter about life. Yet there were moments of sweetness that let me know she hadn't fully lost herself. Unfortunately our conversations were light, and I couldn't really find a way to engage with her. Bella was cold to me the following day and never once tried to spark up a conversation. I was worried I might have lost her as a friend, but I couldn't think of a way to rectify the situation.
On the final day of the trip Bella came to me as we were getting ready. "I want to go with you today." I nodded and she actually gave me a small smile. Once we were on our way she turned to me and I could see something had changed in her attitude towards me.
"I talked to Angela last night, and she made me realize something." She stopped for a second as though she wasn't sure how to phrase what she wanted to say next. "I like you Rose, I don't think that'll change anytime soon. But I do like Edward, and I'm not going to get between you and Emmett. Just know that something changes down the line, you will always have a place in my heart."
"Bella…" I started to respond but she shook her head.
"Please let me finish." She begged, and I nodded easily. "I don't want to lose you as a friend, so do you think we can be that if we can't be the other?"
I thought about it for a few seconds, which for me felt like an eternity. "You do mean more to me than I ever expected, so I think friend is a poor word to describe what we will be to each other. However I am more than amiable to figure that out over time."
"That works for me." She said somewhat happily, and she reached over and turned up the music we had playing in the background.
"Break the silence, damn the dark, damn the light! And if you don't love now, you will never love me again…"
"That was a bit on the nose." I said with a giggle, but we both started singing along anyway.
Thursday, September 1, 2005 - Carlisle
I had done everything I could think of, every type of intervention, every type of surgery. Nothing was going to prolong Bella's life beyond a decade. The family had all taken action around me, and I wasn't sure if they knew I was aware of it, or were just pretending to give me a choice. In actuality I was acutely aware of what was to come, I had overheard a snippet of a conversation between Alice and Rosalie, and the dark fate that lay in store for Bella and to an extent Angela.
It left me with a tough decision and a risky game to play. I had to orchestrate Bella's death, and given her situation it wouldn't be as simple as just having her disappear. The level of exposure was also a risk, Bella in the throes of newborn thirst would be problematic even with our house so remote from Forks. Yet there was no longer another option, save for her consent.
As I felt my mind begin to settle on the answer I had been struggling with for almost a year when a soft knock came from my office door. "Come in Alice." I said somberly, I knew this was an inevitable conversation. She opened the door directly and folded herself onto one of the chairs opposite my desk. "I assume this is about my decision." She nodded once.
"Everything just fell into place a few minutes ago. I knew it was coming, but I wasn't sure which way you would land." She wasn't really looking up, her body language was clear. She was in a bad place. Considering the year she had just gone through, I could totally understand. If it had just been Bella's accident, or Jasper leaving, or the chaotic visions she had been subjected to on a daily basis, but all three happening at once? It was too much for anyone, even Alice.
"What did you see?" I asked, feeling my curiosity peaked.
"You know it goes kind of perfect, at least as far as I can see." She said without elaboration, and it made me frown.
"What does that mean?" I wasn't just curious, I was painfully aware that this future I was about to set us on was a massive question mark.
"It means that I can only see up to the night Bella wakes up. We get a strange visitor, and then nothing." She was shaking her head, clearly she had been hoping for more.
"Can you see who it is?" A stranger sounded like an interesting curiosity, and I wondered if it could be one of us.
"I can hear a knock on our door that evening, and after that our future disappears. What's bothering me is I know it isn't the usual, like an undecided choice or if I had died or something. This is totally different, the future is just blank. It's as if this stranger will be so important that they are intrinsically tied to our future, and they can somehow blind my gift." I felt my eyebrow raise both in curiosity and concern.
"So should I go the other way?" I felt myself second guessing my decision.
"No, Bella's fading quickly. Faster than any of us expected. I don't entirely know why, but the vision keeps changing, her life shortening almost every day now." That news was distressing, but it convinced me it was time. Still, I had to know if there was something that could be done about it.
"What changed?" I asked, hoping for some clue as to why Bella was apparently destined to be like us no matter what.
"I've been mulling that over, and the only conclusion I've come up with is that it is a culmination of a bunch of smaller things; like her relationship with Edward being so caste, and our trip up to Alaska. Starting school again. Angela's anger and loss of faith. Charlie's depression. Renee's insistence that she move Bella to Florida. Plus our less than great approach to telling her our secret. She has pressure coming from a hundred different directions, and I think it is just weighing on her too much." The explanation made sense, and it also meant there was nothing we could do except completely extricate ourselves from her life. Even then, it might only give her a few more years. No, there was only one solution now.
"This is going to devastate Charlie and Angela, and I have no idea how Renee will handle it." I felt intensely guilty and selfish to claim another child when she still had so many that loved her.
"We have to tell Angela." She said almost as a demand. I started to scoff at such a thing, but she shook her head interrupting anything I might say. "I know it goes against everything, but while it sounds like the worst choice possible idea in most circumstances, Angela is a massive part of this, and just cutting her off will end in terrible heartache and death."
"How so?" I asked, how could one mortal cause so much strife. Of course I had wondered the same thing when Bella was hurt and our future's were thrown into such chaos.
"Angela dies, and so does Charlie, Renee and one of the wolves down in La Push, although that one I have absolutely no context. It is the same as if Edward just changes Bella. There is a path forward, even though I barely understand it. But a part of it is bringing her in on the secret. You have to tell her the day Bella 'dies'." Her explanation wasn't enough, but I nodded anyway.
"I hate this, we bring Angela into our world and that almost certainly dooms her to our life." I felt a deep anger over the seeming lack of choice, and it made me wonder why things were like this. Unfortunately the answer was simple, Edward had made a massive mistake.
"I hate this too, I don't see another way. I believe it will be better for both of them, and I'm pretty sure they both know what we are anyway. Or at least they have figured something out, but may not fully understand it." She seemed resigned to this path, and at least we had prepared the two of them for the rather bizarre truth of our existence.
"I need some more time to think and plan, I should probably figure it out on my own so I grasp the full specifics." I said with a heavy sigh.
"Yup, I knew you were gonna say that." She smirked, and got up and began to leave.
"Ha ha. Alice, why am I so torn about this choice?" This stopped her halfway to the door and she looked back with a small shrug.
"Because it is contrary to your nature, you need to heal. In a way this course of action admits failure in your abilities." She made it sound like I wanted to play god.
"I didn't think of myself as that arrogant." The worry in my voice was real, and she just laughed it off.
"It comes with the job, and you have to play god on two levels." She bit her lower lip and shrugged sheepishly.
"I'm so sorry this all falls on you, I wish there were another way." It was a long overdue apology, we had depended on her visions far more than necessary, and it bothered me no matter how willing she was to share her gift with us.
"No you don't, because if I weren't here we would've left them to die. They are my sisters, and I cannot let that happen." Her declaration was a bit unexpected, but at the same time I knew exactly how she felt. Bella and Angela felt like the rest of my family, and it occurred to me then that I loved them as much as my other adopted children.
"I didn't know you felt that way." I gave her a sympathetic smile.
"I haven't said it out loud until now, but they are family." She nodded to emphasise her statement, giving it a feeling of absolute certainty.
"I guess I have a call to make." I said and she spun around happily and left me to my thoughts.
I sat in my office alone for close to an hour before picking up the phone, but after a few seconds I realized it was a mistake to call. I had to do this in person. So I made my way out of the hospital and drove to her house to maintain appearances. I took a sigh of relief to see that Charlie's patrol car wasn't there, which meant Bella was home alone. I knocked twice, and she made a vague grumbling response before the door opened awkwardly.
"Bella." I gave her a pleasant smile, and she responded in kind.
"Doctor Cullen, come in." She moved out of the way and I crossed the threshold feeling a wave of responsibility. I was about to change her life, and I honestly wasn't sure how I was going to say it. "Would you like something to drink?" She offered before I could say anything else.
"No, I'm good. Let's sit, I need to discuss something with you." I let my emotions show, rather than keeping things professional and detached. She nodded with a small flash of a smile and I moved over to the couch. She took a spot that she clearly used frequently based on the tire marks on the hardwood.
"I have struggled with your situation for almost a year now." I began, and she started to respond but I shook my head. "Please, let me get this out." She nodded, and sat back. "As I was saying, I have struggled with your situation for a year, and I find myself at a crossroads. There is no question that you have become a part of our lives. Esme loves you as a daughter, and to be honest so do I. Rose, Emmett and Alice all think of you as another member of the family. And Edward, well I will let him expound on his feelings."
"Right, I feel the same. So does Angela." I lowered my eyes for a split second, my concern about Angela's involvement confirmed. Although it was clear Angela was as important to us as Bella had become.
"My family is not exactly… normal. Which leaves us in an odd position to offer you restoration." I knew I was dancing around things, but I didn't want to just bluntly come out with a fact as weird and reality shattering as declaring myself and my family vampires.
"Restoration, you mean my legs?" She asked with wide eyes, but an almost knowing smile.
"Yes. Not only that, but you would no longer be in pain, and you would live an exceedingly long time." As I elaborated I could see her react as though I were only confirming a truth she already knew. She nodded softly, and let loose a soft blast of a chuckle.
"You are a vampire." The word rolled off her tongue and hearing it made me feel almost silly.
"Ahem, yes. That would be an appropriate term for my species. Although we differ somewhat from popular fiction." She listened without any outward shock, and her next question was almost too rational.
"So you're good vampires?" The question was hopeful, and I nodded confirmation although I did furrow my brow as I realized I had to correct that to a degree.
"That is subjective, but we strive to maintain our humanity. We have vowed to never hurt a human, and actively pursue a life of restraint, we call ourselves vegetarians because we only feed from animals." I paused as she actually laughed at the idea.
"There's irony, I used to be a vegetarian." She said with a bit of a laugh.
"I thought you might find that funny, but there would be a catch to this transformation." I wasn't sure she would understand, but I had to make it clear that by becoming like us she would be abandoning her human life.
"I would have to be dead in the eyes of the public." She said unexpectedly, making the deduction far faster than I would've thought possible. Which likely meant she had given this possibility some thought already.
"Yes." I answered simply.
"What about Angela?" She said almost pleadingly, and then quickly shook her head. "No, she shouldn't be a part of this. Her life has been screwed up by me too much already."
"Alice thought you would say as much, and I personally agree with you. However, Alice has made it clear to me that she is going to bring her into this world, and there is nothing I can do to stop her. Not that I would try, we care about Angela as much as we care about you." She took a deep breath and as she blew it out through her mouth I could see the emotion in her as her mouth quivered.
"Aren't you her father?" She didn't sound incredulous, more like she was searching for an answer.
"Alice is over a hundred years old, and can see the future. If I made an attempt to block her, she would just move around me." It sounded bad, but I pretty sure she would understand what I meant.
"We knew it!" Bella gave me a big satisfied grin.
"Yes, they have been dropping hints for a while, when it was clear you would be a part of our lives. Alice realized early on that you and Angela were tied together as well, and has been including her for quite some time." As I explained I could see her shaking her head, and I realized that Bella would never have included Angela, in an attempt to protect her.
"I don't like it." She said with a deep frown.
"Neither do I, but you must admit it will be better to have her in our lives." I admitted, and she reluctantly nodded.
"I would miss her terribly, but it is so selfish to force this choice on her." Her sentiments mirrored my own and I found myself nodding in agreement.
"Yet I don't see another way." I said wistfully, and she sighed in resignation.
"Alright, so how does this work?"
"I will have a mock surgery for you, where I will be actually removing the metal from your body and then turning you. I must warn you the transformation is an agonizing experience that lasts days." She just gave me a look of incredulity.
"So what's new?" Her shrug made me feel responsible, I hadn't been able to fix her well enough to remove the pain she was constantly enduring. In a way this was my final chance to give her a life, much like all the others I had turned.
"Right, well I can attest to the pain, and it is considerable." My memories of the transition were distant, but still sharp. That crucible was like a signpost in our memories marking the beginning of our lives in almost every meaningful way.
"Why remove the plates and stuff?"
"You won't need them anymore, and it will actually cause you more discomfort during the process when your body rejects the foreign objects." I thought back to Garrett's story of his transformation, and I never would want to subject Bella to that kind of horror.
"So what happens after that?" I liked her curiosity, and hoped that would translate when she became immortal.
"Once my venom enters your heart you will fall into what looks like death. To an outside observer you will be motionless and cool to the touch, without noticeable chest movements or a heartbeat. This lasts for close to two days as your heart pushes the venom slowly throughout your body at a rate of one beat per minute. That should give us enough time to have whatever funeral arrangements Charlie and Renee wish to organize. Then we will steal you away, I have contacts at the local funeral home that will look the other way when we take you. They will substitute ashes or an empty casket depending on how you are to be buried and you will be at our house as you finish your transition." It was a simple plan, but should work. The trickiest part would be if her parents wanted to do a viewing, if that happened I wasn't sure she would be the stable part of her transition. If she awoke in that coffin screaming in agony the news would quickly get to the Volturi and we would all be in great danger.
"Sounds simple." She didn't see the dangers, and I wasn't sure I wanted to explain but I couldn't leave her in the dark about the dangers of this course of action.
"Perhaps. There are a couple potential obstacles." I said, pursing my lips slightly.
"Which are?" She looked a little worried.
"There is an off chance your transition may be of shorter duration, if any doctor or mortuary attendant realizes you are alive, the ruse will fail. Secondly, is Edward. I honestly have no idea how he is going to handle this, he has been a bit resistant to your transformation and he may try to intervene." Even my bribe wouldn't be enough if she started to move at the funeral home.
"I swear, how old is he because he is awfully old fashioned." She was frowning, and I wondered if their relationship would survive the truth of his actions. I wanted to tell her, but felt it was his place to tell her that truth.
"I found him dying in 1918 when he was but seventeen years old." I said as neutrally as possible to give the fact a bit more weight.
"This is insane. If it were coming from anyone else, I wouldn't believe it." She gave a quick gentle shake of her head.
"Which I suppose is why it had to be me. Our next step is simple: I will contact your parents and arrange for a surgery, pro bono of course, to hopefully restore some function to your legs. That is if you say yes, this is your choice."
"Answer me one thing, does Alice see my father recovering?" She was pinning her hopes on a future where her family could move on.
"She hasn't said, but this will be easier on him in the long run than watching you wither away." It wasn't a lie, but it could be considered manipulation. Knowing Charlie Swan he would never get over her death, but perhaps the shock of that loss might push him into finding some kind of happiness.
"I hope you're right. Alright, my answer is yes." She was resolute, and I nodded in acceptance.
"So be it, welcome to the family Bella." I got up and offered a hand, which she took without hesitation and smoothly pulled me into a hug.
Author's Note:
This was a bear to write, and it was originally going to be even longer. I cut three sections that would've put this chapter over forty pages. This does mark the end of the new content for the bulk of the story, but I will have to edit almost every chapter coming up for continuity.
The song at the end of the Rosalie section was The Chain by Fleetwood Mac.
Next Up: No Secrets Withheld - Angela
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