Chapter Twenty-Four: Knock Knock
"I see a red door, and I want it painted black.
No colors anymore, I want them to turn black.
I see the girls walk by, dressed in their summer clothes.
I have to turn my head, until my darkness goes.
I see a line of cars, and they're all painted black.
With flowers and my love, both never to come back."
- Rolling Stones (Paint it Black)
Friday, September 15, 2005 - Alice
The drive was oddly calm, despite the fact we were racing home to prepare for a conflict we couldn't anticipate. My visions giving less than nothing to build off of. We were barely a foot inside the house when Emmett started. "We need to be proactive, go back and find their scents. Follow them and take them down before they cause more problems." Emmett suggested calmly.
"That isn't the answer, we cannot kill them when they've done nothing wrong." Carlisle argued.
"Nothing wrong, they are going after Angela like she's a juice box. You cannot mean we should let them have her. I thought you vowed to protect her?" Bella spit out with a level of anger that was bordering on violent.
"It isn't a matter of protection." Carlisle said vehemently.
"We just can hurt them then." Emmett said with a small snarl, his anger still sitting on the edge even after letting off steam.
"Em, they aren't worth it." Rose tried but Emmett ignored her.
"Angela is a part of our family, why can't we just track them down like dogs and put them down?" Emmett repeated this time being more explicit in his goals without the need to hide behind euphemisms anymore.
"We cannot betray our values, hunting them goes against everything we believe in." Carlisle argued to a room that was starting to turn against him.
"That's everything you believe in, not me. I cannot just sit around while you argue the merits of morality when my best friend's life is on the line." Bella said with a level of anger I could totally understand.
"We are going to stand with her, protect her with our lives." Esme tried to give her the right level of reassurance.
"As long as we don't hurt our enemies? What do you think is going to happen, they'll get bored and go away." Emmett spit out.
"That's what we have to hope for." Carlisle said, looking down.
"That's dangerously naïve Carlisle." Emmett said coldly, wrapping his arms across his chest.
"Enough, I'm done with this." Bella shouted and left without another word.
"I'll watch over her." Esme said following Bella a second later.
"Fine, do what you need to do. Edward, Emmett take the first shift. Alice, Rose will you spell them in a few hours?" Carlisle said looking frustrated and defeated, but resigned to the truth of the situation.
"I can't." I said shaking my head.
"Why not?" Rose reached out towards me, but I flinched away.
"If I suddenly have a vision out there, they could get by me easily. It isn't safe." I said feeling defeated, and turned towards my room at a run. I had put Angela's life in danger, twice and I couldn't let myself fail her again.
I curled up in a ball on my floor again, trying to conjure a vision. Maybe force my newly expanded power to do something good for a change. Instead, my thoughts kept drifting to Bella's visit to Seattle. I tried to force my visions to see what happened in that club that she wasn't talking about. But nothing came. Every time I closed my eyes it drifted to some dark corner of our future vision.
"Damn it brain, vision of Angela." I said out loud sitting up in a huff. I felt like a child. I started to stand, but suddenly my eyes clouded over as a vision seized my mind. I was in Carlisle's office. A medical bed set up like before and Carlisle, Esme and Bella were surrounding Angela. Her face puffy and dark circles made her face seem drawn. She was pale, and even though she was unconscious, I could see that same sadness in her expression that she wore on the trip to the mall. It was just like the vision from before; this moment hadn't changed. The sound of the ventilator filled me with anger and fear, was this what was about to happen to her? Did I cause this by missing those two vampires showing up unexpectedly?
"No." I said to myself, which drew Carlisle's attention and he turned and walked over to me. He reached out towards my shoulder, but then gripped my upper arm for some reason.
"Alice!" My vision broke, and I found the apparition of Carlisle was all too real. He was in my room, crouched by me with his hand resting gently on my arm trying to rouse me.
"Just the vision of Angela hurt." I sighed and he let go of my arm.
"I don't like how your visions are affecting you now." Carlisle looked worried, standing up and offering me a hand to join him. I took it and stood up, shaking my head before explaining.
"Me neither. I keep seeing her on a ventilator, and nothing I do seems to change that eventuality." I winced, thinking about everything I had foreseen.
"I'm sure Angela will be okay, did you see her after that moment?" Carlisle guessed.
"Yes, as a vampire. This isn't the path she wants, and I know where it ends." I closed my eyes, trying to shove away the image of my friend turning on me with eyes full of hate.
"We'll figure something out, we always do." Carlisle squeezed my shoulder, but I stood and shook him off.
"I think I need some time to think. I'm going to take a walk." I moved past him, as he nodded at me in understanding. I did actually start at a walk, which quickly turned into a run. Trees eventually turned into buildings and soon I found myself in front of Bella's house. I had always wanted to spend time in that tree in their back yard, it was private and had a lovely view of the forest and a touch of the small town to the East.
Without really checking, I quickly ran up the tree and found a perfect branch to perch on. As I stopped, I could see some movement in Bella's room and noticed Charlie holding one of Bella's sweaters and crying. I turned away, I still couldn't look at Charlie. Not even at the wake and the funeral, except for when he spoke. The memory came unbidden, and I closed my eyes and remembered that afternoon as if it were happening, the blessing and curse of the vampire mind, perfect recall.
A light rain fell as we gathered by her gravestone, her father holding an urn of counterfeit ashes. The tombstone was simple, but the inscription was heart-wrenching. All it said was 'Isabella Marie Swan; Beloved daughter, died too soon.' Billy Black was sending me glares of hatred since I was the only other Cullen invited except Edward. But Edward had chosen to stay with Bella instead of attending her mock funeral, not that I blamed him for wanting to stay by her side. Still it left me alone with a bunch of mortals at a pretend ceremony that made me feel anxious and uneasy that I would give away the secret.
There were eleven of us gathered around the small opening in the ground, and we stood in silence. I was next to Angela and her father who was serving as the minister. To my right was Billy and Jacob Black, Harry Clearwater and his family, and of course Charlie and Renee.
"Charlie has asked to say a few things before I carry out Bella's final rights. Charlie." Mr. Weber motioned to Charlie who stood still for a moment. Then he knelt and touched the undisturbed grass by the grave.
"I don't really have the words to explain how I feel right now. Pain I guess is the easiest, but it is so much more than that. I can't remember how many times I held back telling her how much I loved her. I can't remember how many times I didn't tell her that she was special. After the accident I wanted her to know I still cherished her, and I was so proud..." His voice broke for a moment and then he cleared his throat and continued, "so proud that she had managed to find a way to be strong with that much weight on her shoulders."
He stopped for a long second, trying to hold back his grief and gather his composure to finish. "I'll miss you terribly Bells, god I hope you know that." Then he began to cry and stepped back next to Renee. She tried to comfort him, but he shrugged her off. She looked upset at his reaction and crossed her arms over her chest and cried heavily to herself. I glanced at Angela who looked conflicted and kept shooting glances at me, as if I could give her the answers she wanted right then.
"Alice?" I opened my eyes from the memory and found myself staring at Charlie. "What on earth are you doing in my tree?" He cracked a slight smile but he didn't sound happy to see me.
Friday, September 15, 2005 - Charlie
My world had been simple. While most of the time I felt desperately alone, in some ways, it felt good to be totally independent and unattached. Then Bella came back, and my life filled up with purpose. She wasn't just a priority; she gave me a reason to care about myself again. Then came the crash. To be honest we never had a perfect relationship, and after her injuries I felt like all I could really do was be a good caregiver. I didn't know how to connect with my own daughter on a level that allowed her to let me in.
I didn't pity her or think of her as weak. I loved her, unconditionally. In a very real way, Bella had become the center of my world. Her strength in the face of adversity, her selflessness, and her kindness continually brought home the fact that she didn't deserve the fate she had been handed. And then just as suddenly as she had become a part of my life again, she was gone forever. I had muddled through life after Renee left the first time. But this was different, and I couldn't move forward. It felt like this great metal wall was in front of me, and I kept pushing into it expecting it to give way. I knew it was grief, and time would eventually heal it. But nothing could bring my baby back, and the loss left me shattered and broken. The simple things, like eating and bathing or even getting out of bed, felt almost impossible to handle.
Billy tried to help, but he was so angry that it even started to rub off on Jacob. Their visits almost always left me tense instead of distracting me from my pain. Of course Harry was gone, the same day as Bella, which had created another hole in my life. Sue pulled away entirely, dealing with her own grief and managing her kids. I hadn't gone back to work yet, but the officer I left in charge kept asking about how I was doing instead of filling me in on my town.
Then Alice came, perched like a nightingale in the tree outside my daughter's window. She seemed mercurial and timeless. It was as if she had always been there, like some sort of silent guardian watching over the house. The moonlight highlighted her nearly ethereal beauty and made me afraid of her. Her lovely face was twisted by sadness, and her eyes were closed as if she were dreaming. I would never have admitted it to Bella, but I liked Alice more than anyone else in her family.
"Alice?" I asked, and she immediately opened her eyes and the deep amber irises picked up a slight glow from the bright moonlight that had just crested over the horizon of trees in my back yard. I was instantly on the defensive and snapped at her.
"What on earth are you doing in my tree?" But I couldn't hold onto my hostility and I felt a smile spread across my face. But the expression felt unnatural, as though I was splitting chapped lips.
"I don't know, I needed to get away. Charlie, could I come in for a few minutes?" I almost sighed in exasperation. But then it occurred to me that I hadn't really spoken to the Cullen's since the funeral, so I motioned towards the front door. The knock came too quickly, as if she had sprinted around the house. This instantly set me on guard, even though I felt calmed by her presence. I led her to the living room, and she floated gracefully down onto the couch.
"What's wrong Alice?" I asked sharply but found myself smiling almost foolishly. I didn't need a balm or a shoulder to cry on, I was way past that kind of support. Especially from the teenage friend of my dead daughter.
"I have absolutely no idea what I'm going to say right now, but I think I have to come clean on something. I can't stand the lies anymore, and not just the big ones, the little ones as well. I conceal so much, from my family, from the world, and for once I want to just spill the beans, so to speak. I know I can trust you Charlie, and if anyone deserves the truth right now it's you." She wasn't making sense, and I didn't like where she was going with this train of thought. "How do I put this without making it sound insane."
"Just say it. It'll sound the way it'll sound." I almost shrugged, but as I thought about her words, I felt frustrated and a soft sigh escaped me.
"Well, I'm a vampire." I was shocked and horrified. In a moment of panic, I tried to imagine how was I going to tell her father that her mind had broken. I managed to keep my face neutral so that I wouldn't scare her away, but I was heartbroken. "So, you can imagine why we have always been a little reclusive. Carlisle knew that there was no other way, she was going to suffer for the rest of her life. At least this way she could walk again." I blinked a few times as her words sunk in.
"Wait, do you mean Bella's alive?" I couldn't believe my own words, and I didn't want confirmation. Whatever she was going to say would be almost to painful to hear, but Alice seemed excited to tell me, she was practically bouncing as she continued.
"Yes, and except for what her death did to you and Renee she's happy." I fell back against the chair hard. The pain and relief shutting my eyes to hold back the tears, but they were too heavy and spilled out over my cheeks. I sat up after a few moments as I realized that her mental illness was probably triggered by Bella's death. I hadn't realized how much it had affected her. I needed to get her home, and the only way to do that was to play along with her delusion. I opened my eyes and found her hovering over me, holding out a tissue. I took it gratefully and motioned for her to sit back down as I cleaned out my puffy eyes.
"I'm glad that she's happy, but I guess it's been a bit of an adjustment for her?" I had to bring the conversation around to proving herself so that we could get her back to Carlisle. As a doctor he should know what to do next, even though I had no idea how I was going to tell him his daughter had suffered a mental break.
"Well there's been a lot of turmoil in the last week or so, as you might imagine. But there are things happening that none of us can control. Right now, I'm so scared that I'm going to lose a part of my family that I feel like I'm breaking a little. Don't get me wrong, Bella makes things complete in a way that I never thought would be possible. I'm not sure if I should be the one to tell you about her personal life, but I doubt she would come and tell you herself. Would you like me to tell you about it?" It was worse than I thought, it wasn't just a delusion. Alice needed to be hospitalized, I forced my face to stay positive. There was no way I could let her know how utterly heart wrenching it was to see her like this. If Carlisle would let me, I would visit her. She obviously trusted me for some reason I couldn't explain.
"Why won't she come and see me herself? Does she think I can't handle the truth?" It pained me to talk about Bella this way, but I just kept telling myself that it was for Alice. Bella would've wanted me to help her friend in any way that I could.
"Not exactly, I know she wants to tell you. But she feels like it isn't her secret to tell. I don't think she really feels like a full member of the family yet. Of course, that'll just take time, but I think if you are a part of her life again she might be able to adjust more quickly. I know Renee wouldn't be able to handle this, so that will always be a pain she'll never be able to remedy. There is another option, I don't know if you would be interested though." She was still lively and buoyant in her expressions. She was so happy that I was momentarily fine with her thinking this way, it was like she was her old self again. But she was clinging to this fantasy so tightly that I had no idea what to say.
"Why don't we wait and see what will happen. I'll give you a ride back home, and you can tell her that you told me. I'll talk to Carlisle and then we'll figure things out I promise." Alice nodded her head, and then shook it a moment later.
"Actually, that sounds like a plan. I'll tell her of my stupidity, and then she'll have to come and see you then. Don't worry I can get home on my own though, I'll see you soon Charlie." Then she was on her feet and out of the house before I could even stand up. I felt slow and stupid, I had let her go without so much as fleeting attempt at stopping her.
I stood up and headed to the kitchen. I yanked the receiver of my ancient phone off the cradle and began to dial Carlisle. I was six buttons into the number, when there was a knock at the front door. I slammed the phone down again and practically ran to the door. I pulled it open frantically, expecting to see Alice standing there looking sheepish about needing a ride or something.
The red-haired woman standing before me was a total stranger. Her skin was flawless and very pale, and her playfully malevolent eyes were a dark shade of red. I started to open my mouth to demand to know who she was, but her arm shot out and grabbed a hold of my throat. She pushed me back into the house effortlessly, completely resistant to every struggle I made against her. I felt helpless as I thrashed against her grip, and suddenly very alone.
"Stop that or I'll just snap your neck." I went still, her threat somehow rang true. The fact that she was holding me up like I weighed no more than a small child, sent a cold chill up my spine.
"Why was that one here? What do the Cullens want with you?" Her voice might've been alluring if it weren't so cold. She had no life in her eyes, no happiness, just feral aggression. I motioned towards my throat, she rolled her eyes and dropped me like a sack of potatoes.
"I have no idea, they used to be friends of my daughter, but she died recently." She looked at me with mirth, but there was no warmth in her expression. For a moment I thought that maybe Alice was right. But I shook it off as nonsense again, unwilling to buy into Alice's delusions.
"Must be one of the newborns, maybe I use you to draw her out?" She pulled out a cell phone and dialed. It answered after barely a ring.
"James, I think there might be a way to divide their numbers. The dark haired newborn has local family, I could use him to split their attention and leave the girl vulnerable." She said with a vicious smile. I was trying to measure my chances of getting to my shotgun before she could move. I started to inch over, but she anticipated me and moved so fast that I couldn't track her movement. She placed a foot against my chest, and somehow this hundred and twenty pound woman restrained me with almost no effort on her part. I wanted to scream, as it sunk in that Alice might've been telling the truth.
"Really? So quickly. I'm disappointed. I'll be there soon, just need to finish up here." She ended the call and looked at me again. "Looks like my little distraction worked wonders. Now what to do with you?"
"Please let me go." I begged with terror shaking every word. Unfortunately it seemed to have the opposite effect from what I hoped, and she started chuckle.
"Oh human, fear just makes me hungry. I think I'll just have a little meal before I go?" She lifted her foot from my chest, and picked me up by my shirt before throwing me onto my couch. Then she was straddling me, her smile had turned into a snarl. Then she lifted my chin with one slender finger and leaned in slowly as if she was going to kiss me. But she aimed lower and began to nuzzle my neck. Her lips caressed my neck like a lover, but they were cold and hard. Her icy breath tickled my skin, and for a long second there was hesitation in her breathing. Then, without warning there was a sudden and piercing pain where her cold lips had just been. It was too much, and I felt lightheaded as she started to tear into my flesh.
I immediately blacked out and lost sense of time. The last clear thought I had was truly bizarre, I thought I heard wolves howling loudly just outside my door.
I woke up to searing pain, and when I opened my eyes, I found she was gone, and I was bleeding and left for dead. Loud yapping and growls and the occasional deep bark created a chorus outside but quickly faded away. The pain was so intense that I felt my body convulsing because of it. Then Alice was there above me, the lines of her face were tight, and her eyes hinted at intense pain. She picked me up like I was weightless, and we were flying through the wilderness so fast that it made me dizzy. Everything was dark, and my body was on fire. It was a pain unlike anything I had ever even imagined. Then we stopped suddenly, and everywhere there was the sound of fierce growling again. Alice set me down softly and turned her back towards me, as if she were protecting me.
"I don't want any trouble, I had nothing to do with this attack!" She seemed firm but I could tell she was scared. Her voice trembled slightly but I couldn't fathom why. In the long intervening silence, I pondered the bizarre events that lead me here, and one inexorable fact shone through. My daughter was alive. Alice had told me the truth, breaking some rule, just to help me heal. My heart exploded in joy, and the pain no longer mattered. I closed my eyes intent on falling into the death that was obviously trying to take me. But it was as if I was being kept alive artificially. I had no strength, and I felt more tired than I had ever been before.
Then a familiar voice broke the silence, "Why!? Isn't it enough that you took Bella? Did you have to take Charlie too?" It was Jacob there was no mistaking that voice. He was so sad, and so angry, that it almost didn't sound like him.
"Use your noses for god's sake! I had nothing to do with this, I would never hurt Charlie!" Alice's voice was trembling with fear, but I couldn't miss her indignant anger. It was so unlike her, and so unlike Jacob that it had to be a nightmare of some kind.
"Maybe, but it's not up to me. Let us have him and we'll let you go back to your coven." Jacob sounded torn, and I could swear there was a twinge of guilt in his voice.
"No! I won't let you destroy him. It would devastate Bella; I can't let you take him!" She was petrified, for just a moment, and then a soft growl escaped from her throat. Then she crouched down defensively, her right foot pressed against my side.
"You're all making this so hard, I'm so sorry." Jacob said quietly. Then there was a ripping sound and a thunderous roar that made the forest quiver in terror.
Author's Notes:
Okay, so I had a totally different chapter in mind for this one. Also, this is also a combination chapter. Neither section proved to be long enough to hold on their own but I think they compliment each other quite well. The next chapter is the same, two sections that were separated but feel better as one. This does mean the end of Part One is coming a bit sooner than expected, just two more chapters folks. I'll be taking a break for the holidays, and starting this back up in January with Part 2.
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Next Chapter: Where the Fault Lies
Thank you for reading!