It was nearly nightfall the next day, and Remus descended the stairs slowly. The pain in his side had diminished considerably. His slumber had been surprisingly deep, considering the copious amounts of dust in the guest bedroom. Despite the various cleaning charms he'd set into the room, it remained lightly musty. His last thoughts before sleeping drifted back to the young woman he'd be working with tonight: Nymphadora Tonks. He was apprehensive about the assignment; surely someone would have told her what he was (maybe she'd even guessed it from his nickname, Moony). He felt slightly uncomfortable setting off on a paired mission with someone he had just gotten to know, especially if he wasn't sure if she'd be comfortable around werewolves. He drifted off to sleep, hoping that he would be reassigned with someone else.
As he descended the stairs, he thought back to earlier the other day when he had met her, and their raucous conversation. He felt torn as he thought about her warm, enthusiastic greeting for his best friend, Sirius. He knew Sirius was one of the more exciting Marauders - a vivacious woman like Tonks would forever find that more attractive. Remus also knew that Sirius would want nothing to do with any woman in his family, but he was unsure that Tonks would feel the same way. She appeared, by all means, unconnected to the Black family tradition of inter-marrying and pureblood heritage, but Remus couldn't help but wonder if that was his own imagination. He thought to himself, surely, this wouldn't be the last time Sirius got the girl.
He stopped on the stair and gasped. He could hardly believe his own thoughts. He felt dirty and shame washed over him; he felt more unclean than he had in years. It was bad enough that he would be paired with her as a near-stranger to him, but worse yet if he began to feel anything other than professional respect for her. He thought that the last thing she needed was a middle-aged half-breed lusting after her when she was trying to make the world a better place.
Anyway, he muttered to himself, "No one will love you when they know what you are."
The statement depressed him, but he felt his jaw harden and teeth clench as he said them. He needed to remind himself that he mustn't burden anyone else with his condition. He needed to remind himself that no woman would ever want to be with him because of his condition, and that harboring such feelings for someone would be disastrous, as it had always been before. The few romantic attempts he'd had had been cut short due to his condition. Almost no one dared getting closer to him after finding out he was a werewolf.
With resolve, Remus descended the rest of the steps until he reached the kitchen. It was still grimy, but much less so than it had been earlier that day. Molly looked tired, but upon hearing Remus' steps, turned around from the fire and said to him, "Eat before you go. You'll need it."
Tonks was already eating at the kitchen table and mouthed to Remus, "Just eat." She had an exasperated, impatient look on her face.
Remus sat down to eat, and asked, "How should we get to Malfoy Manor tonight?"
Tonks, in between bites, replied, "We'll Apparate nearby. I think I found a secluded enough place to get started. We'll have to change our appearances before we go, though."
"We?" asked Remus, blankly.
"I can do it on my own," she replied. She strained her face again and within moments, she was nearly unrecognizable. Her bubblegum pink hair had turned to a grayish-brown. Her youthful face was now filled with wrinkles. Her full lips had shrunken, as if they'd been worn away by many more years of life. Even her ears looked weathered. Lupin stared in awe at her transformation.
Tonks continued, "I've got to get some of my Muggle clothing out to look the part. Remus, I'll cast some charms to alter your appearance."
Remus stared at the changed Tonks. All that remained of her true appearance were her dark, twinkling eyes. He felt as though they were studying him, not unlike, as he thought to himself, what he had done earlier that day.
Tonks said, "We'll be playing the part of Muggles on an evening summer stroll. When you're ready, let me cast some charms so you'll look like my husband."
Remus felt himself growing pink at the suggestion. He nodded, and let Tonks do her work. When he turned to a mirror, he gaped at himself. His graying hair had been turned completely white. His premature lines were emphasized further, and he had a thick, white beard where there had been a bit of stubble.
"Looking great, Remus!" exclaimed Tonks, with a wink. Remus felt his face grow pink again, this time both amused and impressed with Tonks' handiwork.
"Ready?" she asked. "We'll need to step out into the square before we can Apparate."
"Yes," replied Remus.
He followed her out of the dusty corridor and onto the steps leading down to the square of Grimmauld Place.
"I hope you don't mind Side-Along-Apparition," she remarked.
"Not at all," he replied. His gratefulness at being paired with her kept growing. After so many melancholy, lonely years, he felt grateful to be paired with someone so full of life. Better yet, he was grateful to be paired with someone who didn't seem to hate him for merely existing.
"Excellent, then," she said. She gestured for him to grab her arm, and with a crack! they left Grimmauld Place.
They arrived in the countryside, just outside a forest. Stately manors adorned the view.
Tonks looked up and squinted. She pointed ahead and said, "That's the one."
Remus lay his eyes on an old estate. It must have been there for centuries, no doubt passed from one pureblood Wizarding generation to the next one. It had long hedges adorning the drive and white peacocks strutted proudly in the lawn.
Tonks scoffed. She said, "Leave it to my dear aunt to find this attractive."
Remus took out his wand and muttered, "Muffliato."
He explained, "It allows us to be heard only by each other; no one should be able to eavesdrop now."
Tonks smiled at him. Despite her centenarian appearance, her smile was still hers. Lupin felt warmth in his chest at this, and reminded himself again - no one will want you when they know what you are. This thought interrupted his brief happiness.
Before the gloom could reach his face, Tonks blurted, "I know you're a werewolf."
Remus was taken aback. Of course she knew. Who had told her? "Sirius," he thought. "Probably thought it was funny to tell her and scare her off." He felt a surge of anger welling up in his chest, where the warmth had previously been.
Tonks continued, "I don't care, you know. Molly told me. She doesn't care either, just thought I should know."
Remus felt the anger subsiding somewhat. While he was relieved that Sirius hadn't told her, he still felt angry that she knew at all. "Now," he thought, "there was no chance for me. She knows and it's all she'll ever think of." Well, he reasoned to himself, "at least it was over quickly. I can get on with better thoughts."
Remus hesitated, thinking. He replied, "I'm glad you don't care. Most people do." He averted his eyes, trying to busy himself with his pockets.
"Is that why Sirius calls you Moony?" Tonks asked.
"Yes," replied Remus, averting his gaze. "It's a nickname I got when we were at Hogwarts."
Tonks gave him the same sharp look as before, as though studying him. He glanced up from his pockets and met her stare fleetingly. He'd seen that look before in someone's eyes – it was a judging stare, firmly placing him as a second-class citizen in the eyes of the beholder.
Suddenly, two figures appeared outside Malfoy Manor. One figure was rather rotund and carried a lime green bowler hat under his arm. The other figure was a wiry red-head. Lupin could identify him easily - he was third eldest Weasley son, Percy, who'd been Remus' student the prior year.
Tonks whispered, "That's Cornelius Fudge, the Minister of Magic."
Remus added, "That's Percy Weasley; I heard from Arthur that he'd been made Fudge's assistant."
Tonks nodded in agreement. They waited until the two men entered through the gate of the manor and then crept closer themselves.
Tonks said to Remus, "Look out for me, will you?"
Remus nodded and stayed further out from Tonks, staring cautiously into the night surrounding them.
Tonks began muttering spells under her breath, hands outstretched. She walked slowly, along the perimeter of the house. In various places she stopped to listen, continuing to mutter at the boundaries of the house. Moments later, she returned to Remus' side.
"The house is protected by a load of enchantments. It took a bit of time, but I got through enough of them to overhear most of their conversation. Fudge and Weasley are worried that Lucius knows what Dumbledore is saying about You-Know-Who is true," she breathed rapidly at Remus.
Remus clenched his teeth. He said, bitterly, "Lucius is going to lie. He'll only tell Fudge what he wants to hear. We know Lucius is a Death Eater, but he'll never let Fudge know that. Harry told us that Lucius was at Voldemort's re-birth, so of course he'll deny any involvement – or truth."
"We'll wait here till they're out," Tonks replied, "and see if they say any more."
She crouched down behind a few trees in the forest, and beckoned for Remus to follow her. She sat in the shadow of the tree, and Remus joined her, sitting down across from her. The night air felt cool against his charmed beard. He noticed Tonks shivering under the tree under the cool breeze. He took out his wand and conjured a small, bright blue fire.
"Here." He took the bright blue flame and placed it in Tonks' hands. "It will keep you warm."
"Th-thank you," stammered Tonks. She was glad it was dark in the forest, as she felt her cheeks warm up. The flame was remarkably effective.
Remus sat in the silence with Tonks, feeling awkward. He looked up through the leaves to a moonless sky and sighed with relief.
"Is it really painful?" asked Tonks. "To transform?"
Remus hesitated.
"I'm sorry if that was too personal, Remus," she apologized quickly. "I shouldn't have pried. You can forget it." She turned her face away from his.
Although Remus rarely spoke of his affliction, even less so to those he had just met, he felt it better to speak than to stay silent with the young Auror.
"It's very painful," he started. "My bones change size and shape. My body contracts and expands in different ways. Every piece of me seems to either stretch or shrink, and it happens both before and after transforming into a wolf. It's nearly unbearable."
"I'm sorry," Tonks murmured.
"No need to be," Remus replied. "Not your fault. Fenrir Greyback bit me when I was four years old to take revenge on my father. As much as I hate my condition, there's little I can do for it." There was a resentment in his tone of voice. He felt some shame in telling Tonks, but since she already knew, he figured it was only a matter of time before she asked questions. Most people were curious.
"Does it hurt for you to change your appearance?" Remus asked.
Tonks looked surprised. "No," she said quickly. "Well, not really," she clarified. "It feels a bit like a sneeze," she said with a light laugh.
"How long have you been an Auror?" he ventured, wanting to hear her voice again. He felt he could listen to her voice for hours; there was warmth, brightness, and life in it that he so rarely heard in his adulthood.
"Just a few years. I spent most of it in training with Moody," she replied. "The last year I've been on my own a lot more. I was actually a bit upset when Kingsley told me I had to do this mission with you," she admitted. "I was hoping he'd trust me enough to go it alone."
Remus' face fell. Her answer confirmed what he had already felt - no one would want to be with him, even in working against one of the Darkest wizards of all time, because of his condition.
Tonks continued, "I'm really pleased we got to go together, though. It's nice to meet new people in this fight."
Remus nodded. He felt better to hear her being pleased they were paired together, but he wasn't sure if it was simply politeness upon being with an unwanted partner.
"I'm sorry you got stuck with me," apologized Remus.
"No need to be," Tonks cheekily replied. Remus could see the smile above the flames he'd given her. "I'm rather enjoying myself," she murmured, holding the flames.
A slow creaking broke out near Malfoy Manor. Remus and Tonks held their wands out, and saw Fudge and Percy making their way out of the manor. Tonks rushed toward the house, creeping carefully. Remus crept towards the drive and hid himself.
"Write this down, Weasley," Fudge commanded. He continued, "the Malfoys have been generous enough to offer themselves as volunteers to monitor Death Eater activity. They should be afforded every bit of protection we can offer them."
"Shall I inform Dolores for Draco's protection?" Percy asked.
"Not yet," the Minister replied. "We need her appointed first."
The two men walked several yards from the manor and with a crack! Disapparated.
Remus hurried to find Tonks, who was back in the shadow of the tree.
"Did you hear anything, Remus?"
Remus recounted the brief encounter between Cornelius Fudge and Percy Weasley. Tonks stated, "I caught Lucius telling his son that the upcoming year at Hogwarts would be much better for him." She paused for a moment to think. "Wonder if Dumbledore knows anything?" she queried.
"We'd best go back to headquarters," Remus replied, with a slight pang of sadness, as his time with Tonks had come to a close. He couldn't bring himself to look at her in the face before they Disapparated from the countryside.
Tonks and Remus arrived in the dead of the night to 12 Grimmauld Place. They Apparated right to its front step and quickly undid the locks on the door. Remus stepped into the dusty corridor with Tonks at his side.
Tonks asked him gently, "Is this where you're staying, Remus?"
She had transformed back to her original appearance, with the exception of her hair, which was now a rich shade of plum. Remus saw her look at the dusty corridor and remembered himself saying he'd been accustomed to worse accommodations. The thought seemed to cross her mind, as a pitiful look appeared on her face.
Remus replied, "Yes, I've nowhere else to go for now." He thought that sounded pitiful, so he added, "Sirius will need company anyway," as he smiled at her.
Tonks looked at him and realized she'd forgotten to undo the charms she had placed on him. With a few waves of her wand, his hair returned to its light brown mixed with gray, and the lines on his face had faded back to where they had been. His stubble had returned, having grown just barely since the night began.
"D'you think Sirius would mind if I stayed the night here?" asked Tonks.
Remus paused. He wasn't thrilled about the possibility of having Tonks so close by during the night, but he didn't think that letting her go out into the night alone was wise, even if she was an Auror. He didn't want the temptation of having her nearby for himself…or Sirius.
"I think Sirius would be delighted to have family over," Remus admitted. He knew it was true, and above all, he wanted Tonks to be safe. "But," he continued, "I can Apparate with you to your place and come back on my own, so you can avoid the dust."
"I'd rather not wake my parents," Tonks said, with a blush. "I still live with them, y'know, to save money."
"I understand," lied Remus. He didn't really understand; he'd lived away from his parents in his adulthood, trying to spare them the pain of caging their son every full moon as they had in his childhood. However, he wasn't keen on Apparating to Tonks' parents home alone with her, in case they had any other ideas.
"In that case," Remus continued, "follow me - and try not to knock over the umbrella stand on the way up, trust me."
"Thanks, mate!" she exclaimed. "I'm exhausted, but I'll do my best. Lead the way."
Remus led her up the stairs down the corridor to his own room and gestured to the room next door to his own. After a bit of work, they scourged the room with charms to make it habitable. When they were done, Tonks settled down into the ancient single bed with a yawn that made her eyes water.
Remus felt slightly uncomfortable seeing her on the bed, so tired. He shuffled towards the door, as Tonks said, "Thanks for your help tonight, and I'm sorry I pried. I don't have the best filter, you see." She smiled embarrassedly at him.
Remus slowly turned and offered, "Not a problem. Goodnight, Tonks." He turned back to the door and set off to his own room, locking the door in his hurry back.
He sat down on his own ancient double bed and put his palms up to his eyes. The whole evening played back at him; observing the Malfoys at their home, chatting with Tonks in the forest, and finally helping her make habitable quarters at Grimmauld Place. He thought of Tonks in the bedroom next door, wondering if she'd be able to sleep knowing there was a werewolf just beyond the wall. Though she had been surprisingly relaxed at their mission tonight, he wondered if it was just an act. To work with him was one thing, but to be under the same roof? He comforted himself, thinking that she had been the one to ask to stay over. Still, maybe it was her own foolish bravado to think she could get over the discomfort of an aging werewolf so close by. Whatever the case might be, he thought, at least she was safe here, even if he didn't feel safe from his own thoughts.