I sat on the edge of the corner, biting my lip and wishing I was somewhere else, somebody else. The cigarette's smoke crawled down my throat and into my lungs, and I breathed out the remainder of the cigarettes smoke. I knew that I shouldn't be smoking, and that it was bad for the baby but did I really want the baby in the first place? Would I want it knowing that it had been a mistake and one that I couldn't take back ever? Would I really want to be a mom? Would I be a good mom? All these questions ran through my head and I didn't know the answer to one of them, though I had a little voice telling me that I should do the right thing, put out the cigarette and have the baby, raise it and forget the father completely. But how could you forget someone you had a connection with as a friend for so many years and then make a mistake one night and in that one night, in that one mistake ,The baby kicked and I groaned under the unexpected kick, I put my hand on my swollen belly and yearned for his hand to be below mine. And me saying the oldest line in the book "Can you feel him kick? Right there he did it again." I wanted that feeling of having a person that cared for the baby inside me as much as I cared for it.
As I finished the cigarette I put it out on the curb beside me and slowly got up, trying not to fall in the process. I needed a place to stay, badly, it was starting to get cold and I didn't have a jacket and I didn't want to freeze. Only one person's apartment popped into my head and I shook it out of my head as quickly as it had come. No way could I stay there, no way would they let me stay there. Not after what had happened. Too many people hated me, and I hated myself for what I had done. No way could I got back there.

'But you need a place to stay.' My head screamed at me
"Shut up." I said out loud.

I looked around, prostitutes started coming out, it was time to find a place to stay. If I wanted to live the night then I needed a place to stay.

"Here I go." I say to myself and I begin to walk in the direction of the apartment.

I stare up at the building. The building I used to call a home, did they even live there still? It had been so long since I was there, I hoped they did. I reached into my pocket and felt the key that I had been keeping safe for so long. I walked to the door and unlocked it. I walked up the stairs and stopped before the door.

"This is it." I said to myself

I knocked, hoped that they didn't hate me as much anymore.

"Coming." Someone yelled through the door.

I took a deep breath and waited for them to open the door.
The door opened and there stood a girl that I had never seen before. Yet she looked familiar.

"Uh hi. Does Mark Cohen live here?" I ask
"Yeah, who are you?" The girl asks

I see Mark in the background.

"Who's at the door?" He asks
"Someone asking for you." The girl says

Mark leans to get a better view of the door and we connect eyes.

"Maureen?" Mark asks getting up
I smile and Nod "Hi Mark." I reply

Mark sort of pushes aside the girl and he grabs my hand.

"Oh my god. How are you?" Mark asks as he pulls me in a hug.
"Not to good, Mark. Not to good." I reply

We separate and he looks down at my very swollen belly.

"Come sit down." Mark says inviting me into the loft.

I walk into the loft, nothing has changed since I was here last. Except the girl, she's still standing by the door when I sit down on the couch. She looks to be younger then Mark and I, got to be about 20 or so. Mark grabs her hand and leads her to one of the chairs, he sits down and she sits on the floor between his legs. Is it possible that Mark has gotten over me and actually found someone he can live with?

"So where have you been for the last seven months?" Mark asks
"Uh…here and there. I've been living Jersey, I had a good job until they found out I was pregnant and then I got fired and I traveled a little bit and I wound up here. I hope its ok if I came here, I hope I'm not interrupting something."
"Oh of course not. Your not interrupting anything." Mark says as he plays with the girls hand, He notices me starring at her. "This is Avril." Mark says the girls waves politely at me.
"Hi Avril, I'm Maureen, nice to meet you." I say

There's a weird silence between the three of us. Until I hear people coming up the stairs, people laughing, Mark, Avril and I all look at the door, it opens and in walks four people that I had hoped never to see again. But what did I expect coming here?

Roger, Mimi, Angel and Collins all walk in laughing, Roger quickly stops laughing as he notices me sitting on the couch. Mimi looks in the direction of Rogers gaze and sees me. She stops laughing, and then Angel and Collins stop. They all stare at me, as if I was a ghost.

"Maureen?" Angel asks
"Hi, Angel." I say
"Oh my god!" Angels true side comes out.

I get up and he rushes to me. We embrace and I feel like I'm at home finally in Angels touch. Mimi rushes to our side and all three of us hug. Long lost friends I thought would never accept me again. As we hug I look over at Collins, he's starring at me. His face drops and I drop my head not wanting to see his face.
The three of us stop hugging and Angel leads Mimi and I to the couch.

"Oh my god. Mo, where have you been?" Angel asks "We've all be so worried." He lies, and I know it.
"It's a long story." I say

Angel rubs my shoulder.

"What are you doing here?" Roger asks his anger coming out in his voice.
"I was dropped off in Alphabet City and left to fend for myself, and I need a place to stay so I thought…"
"Well you thought wrong!" Roger says "You have to get out."

I nod and get up and start to walk out of the loft when Angel jumps up.

"Roger come on. She's tired, it's cold out and she's pregnant. Look at her. She made a mistake, and she came here. If she came here it just shows that she feels bad for what she did. Forget Regret Roger."

I close my eyes. Angel always came to my rescue. Even when I made the biggest mistake of my life. Even when I fucked up everything for all of my friends.

"No, Angel." I say turning around "Roger is right. I shouldn't have come here. I'm sorry. I'll find some other place to stay."

I walk out the door of the loft and down the stairs. I can hear Mimi, Angel and Rogers voices arguing. I walk out of the building and out onto the cold street. I start walking down the street.

"MAUREEN, WAIT UP!" I hear Collins voice yell at me.

I stop and close my eyes. I turn around and open my eyes, there he is running towards me. He stops two feet before me.

"Hi Tom." I say, I look at the ground.
"Maureen. You can stay at our apartment. You know where it is right?" He asks
"yeah." I answer
"Here's the key. Angel and I will meet you there once everything calms down. Make yourself at home." I hands me a key
"Collins, I don't think…"I start to protest
"No you don't. But that doesn't mean we don't love you. Just go to our house. Have a shower and We'll meet you there in about two or three hours."

Before I can say anything he turns around and walks back into the apartment.
I stand there in the street for a while, and then begin to walk in the direction of Angel and Collins apartment.