Well, here we go again. Another short-ish chapter, but one that was definitely necessary. Once again there are bits I'm not happy with, but then this version of the story is pretty much the first draft. Once it's done I'm going to go back to Chapter 1 and edit from there until I'm happy.
Anyway, I've kept you waiting long enough. Enjoy, and remember to review!
Chapter 11: What do you want?
The first clue was a blip on the hover-car's scanner, and it was a simple matter for Amy to redirect the vehicle towards it.
The second and final clue was a crumpled black, grey and orange form in the middle of a plain en-route to Machina.
She had had a rough idea where to look all along, thankfully- it had been a good idea to convince Miles to wear the Freedom Fighter uniform after all, because she had been able to trace it. And, there he was.
Amy brought the hover-car to a gentle halt a few metres away from the fallen two-tailed fox, and sighed to herself. Partially in relief that she had been able to find him at all- and partially in fear of his condition. He lay face down in the dirt, unmoving.
She climbed out of the pilot's seat and hurried out of the vehicle, making her way to the fox as quickly as she could.
For a moment she stood over him, a cold numbness taking over her.
The dirt beneath him was stained red.
She turned him over, though it took some effort (his slim figure made him appear deceptively light), only to find three slits in his bloodstained uniform.
She didn't know what to do for a moment.
He'd tried to kill himself.
----------
The first sound that Miles heard as he came to was a harsh one.
"Do you have any idea how lucky you are?" a female voice snapped, and he frowned as he found himself looking up at Amy Rose.
It was sunset. A fire was crackling ahead of him, one Amy must have set up from whatever supplies she had in a nearby hover-car. He was lying on a blanket, a rather soft one, the Freedom Fighter uniform he had been wearing was gone and his chest was covered in bandages.
He wondered for a minute why, until the memory hit him.
Oh.
Oh, yeah.
Amy seemed to be at a loss for words for a moment, scrutinising his face. She moved closer, and began to reach for his left eye.
"Why did you do it Miles?" she asked. "When I found you, I thought you were dead. If I hadn't found you, then you probably would be by now."
He swallowed a growl of anger and frustration.
"You should have left me," he said through a dry throat, and began to sit up, pushing her away. The disturbance brought about a painful cough.
"What, did you want to die?"
"Yes."
Not even his enhanced senses were enough to warn him of the incoming slap.
"Don't you dare say that. Ever."
He blinked, not expecting the stinging in his cheek at all.
"...you don't understand," he hissed, as she returned to checking his eye. "And what the heck are you doing?"
"Your eye. The contact is damaged-"
Suddenly she pulled it, and his eye abruptly felt less... constrained. It was a strange sensation, one he certainly didn't expect as the contact lens cover for his bionic eye was removed.
"There," she said, and looked at him.
Miles had to admit that she hid her recoil quite well. Better than he thought she would, and better than most of the people who had seen his eye for real. It was intimidating he knew, being somewhat similar to Robotnik's with the only major difference being that it had a blue pupil rather than red.
He looked to the contact Amy held- it was torn, so he wouldn't be able to use it again. The glass in the Mechanist base had really done one over on it.
"How did you know about the contact?"
"Well," she said uncomfortably, "when you arrived in Knothole Dr. Quack did a quick analysis of you."
His expression darkened at the intrusion of his privacy, and he glared at her. She seemed quite taken aback, now that he didn't look like any old Mobian. He really did look like a Mech.
"Why are you here?" he hissed. "Why can't you leave me alone?"
"I'm not going to leave you alone until I know you're okay."
He gave a snort, not believing her for a second.
"I knew, you know. I knew that things were going to go wrong. I knew that you were going to turn on me."
"Miles-""I knew!" he said, cutting her off. "But I refused to listen to myself. I listened to you instead, and look where that got me. And now you're here to finish me off."
"If I'm here to kill you, then why have I healed you?" she shot back.
"To make it more fun, right? A bit of sport?"
She stood and walked away a few feet in frustration.
"I'm right, ain't I? Any minute now, Sonic will come over the horizon and cut me in half. Can you tell him to hurry the hell up?
"Do you know, he was the closest thing I ever had to a father." He gave a small, humourless laugh. "And know he wants me dead. How pathetic is that? How did I manage to screw things up so much?"
"It isn't your fault," She replied, not looking at him. "None of what has happened is your fault. It's all because of Robotnik and what he did to you. It's like he planned it all for his own amusement."
There was silence.
"Go away, Rose," Miles said finally.
"No. I'm not leaving until you're alright again."
"Right. Well look, I'm alive now, thanks to you," he said with an almost accusing tone.
"Sonic didn't mean to hurt you, you know."
There was silence once more, and she turned to find him staring at her.
"Uh-huh."
"I mean it. No one knows what's really going on... All the nearby states are demanding to know what's happening thanks to the incident with the Mechanists. Raid from Chestnut is busy blaming the Mechs and getting Sonic and Sally in on it too, whilst the Mechs are blaming them back. Sonic thinks you're the reason that this is happening, but only because he has no idea what it could be otherwise."
"And you? What do you think's happening?"
She seemed to think about that for a moment.
"I don't know. I think it involves you... But I don't think it's your fault."
"It is," Miles mumbled and bowed his head, becoming quiet and unresponsive. Amy decided to change the subject.
"So where are you going to go now?"
"...I don't know."
"Away from Knothole, though."
"..."
"Don't you think you should have said good-bye to Cream first? What about Tom? He could really use your help right now."
"I'm no use to them."
This was getting Amy nowhere- he was just getting more and more depressed. So, it was time for a change of tactics.
"Yes you are. Especially Tom. What was it like for you when you first got... changed?"
"I wanted to die."
"Do you know what? Tom doesn't. He's making an effort to get on with his life."
"He has friends to help him."
"So do you, if you'd let us."
"You don't understand!" he suddenly roared, "You- you!"
For a moment Amy thought she had pushed him a bit too far. He seemed to be struggling to control himself, his hands shaking as they clenched and unclenched into fists periodically.
"You're no friend of mine! I lost them all years ago!"
"I'm still the same person I was back then, Tails!" she said, his nickname being used for a reason. "We used to play dirt hockey together, remember? We were going to take on the older kids as a team! We played tag and all sorts of games! We were friends! It isn't my fault that you got exiled, but I did my best to help you! Sally pulled all the strings she could to save you, and Sonic searched for months to find you afterwards! Don't you dare blame us for it!"
He was seething. She pushed on.
"You're right, you know, you were right- it is your fault that we are in this mess! We had nothing against you, but you acted all 'bad-boy' against us anyway! You gave us, Sonic too, a reason to be suspicious! Always taking the high ground, it's not like you had any reason to be angry! We did all we could for you, but you just choose not to see it!
"Shut up! Just shut the hell up! You have no idea what you're talking about! I didn't want you to follow me, I didn't want to meet you in the first place! I didn't want any of this!"
"What about me? Do I look like I want to be involved in this mess too? What about Tom, he doesn't exactly want what's happened to him."
Miles was shaking violently. She was close now- just one step remained.
"Tell me, Miles." she said. "What is it you want?"
"I... I..."
He stopped, confused, suddenly given room to think.
What did he want? Money? Power? Freedom, even?
No.
It was something else entirely, the problems that were pressing down on him, the feelings he harboured for those of his past. It was the first thing that came to him.
And it was so obvious.
He wanted to be rid of them.
"I..."
He swallowed.
"I... want to be able to forgive. Forgive. Them- Aunt Sally, Sonic, Bunnie. Everyone. I want... them to, to forgive me for what I have done. I... want to be able to accept who I am, this thing I have become. And then... and then I want to be able to leave that behind and move on."
Amy was silent now, listening to him talking, thankful for making him finally open up to someone. It was harsh – his tears showed that he was on the verge of crying – but it had to be done. And she doubted that she could stop him now anyway, now that the floodgates were open.
"I don't want to be this, this stupid 'bad-boy' loner. I don't want to be obsessed by my past. I want to just let go of this anger I have for everything. Ever since the nightmare started, I've hated everyone." He suddenly stared at her. "Even you. You've always had a home. You've had some semblance of a family. You knew who your parents were, you know where you came from. You all have that in Knothole. But I never have.
"And I'm jealous. I don't want to be, but I can't help it. It's not fair. You have it all, but I had it all taken away from me. I was put through hell and spat out into the dirt whilst you lived in comfort. That's what I hate more than everything." He closed his eyes tightly.
"I... Hate having these feelings."
She didn't know what to say.
"I just want... to let it all go," he managed in a shaking voice. "But I can't. I just can't seem to do it. I'm so scared of everyone, because you all bring this out in me. And because of that, I hate them so much too."
He let out a sob, finally just managing one last sentence before breaking down with his arms covering his head.
"I- I don't... I don't want to be alone anymore."
She watched him cry for a minute. It was so surreal to watch the mercenary in this state that she couldn't help but watch.
But it wasn't long until she moved to be next to him, and put her arms around him. He immediately clung onto her.
They stayed like that all night.
----------
When Miles awoke, the fire was still burning. Amy must have relit it, he thought to himself, looking around as he sat up, searching for the female hedgehog.
It was morning now, and the sun was quite pleasant as it shone down on him. The sky was clear, and the air was clean. It was almost perfect- the perfect image of his mind.
He felt better. Not perfect because he had many lingering questions, and the feelings were still there- but better than he had been for a long, long time.
Eventually he found her, descending from the rear-loading ramp of her hover-car. They looked at each other for a while, neither really knowing what to say, but it was Amy who eventually broke the silence.
"How are you feeling?" she asked.
"I... I don't know. Better, I think. Empty, too."
"Well..." she sighed. "Thank you for opening up to me."
"Yeah."
"No, I mean it," she insisted. "Have to ever told anyone what you told me?"
"Never."
He had told her his feelings, and for that he felt like something had been lifted from him. But it didn't change a whole lot- Knothole still saw him as a traitor. Sonic sill wanted him dead.
"What happened, Amy?" he asked suddenly, wanting to know. "Why did everyone attack me? What did I do?"
"There was another Cyborg there. A fox, one that everyone mistook for you. Our troops, because they saw your claws in that battle, Sonic because you tried to attack him when the Mechanists attacked Knothole..."
Miles winced.
"He told you about that?""Sally did."
"I... I didn't mean it." And that was true- the Guyde had caused him to threaten Sonic like that. But Sonic probably didn't know.
"Well, either way, he thinks that you did. He thinks that you were with them all along."
"Why? He only has what they said as proof. What about the Cyborg I killed, the Guyde? That was the fox one you mentioned, right?"
"The Guyde?" she asked, "That's what it's called?"
"It told me that was it's name. It seemed to be able to control my emotions. That's why I almost attacked Sonic- it made me do it. You guys have it's body- surely they must know that by now."
But how could they, Amy thought to herself. They had no way to know for certain. Dr. Quack was going to take the thing apart; she had known that before she had left. But it would take time.
But Sonic didn't need that. All he needed to know was that Miles had – intentionally or unintentionally – betrayed them. That, combined with knowledge of where Miles came from in the first place...
"I bet he won't care, though. It's like someone has had it in for me ever since I was born," Miles muttered.
'You weren't born,' Amy thought, Sonic's disturbing story coming back to her immediately. She suppressed a shudder. 'You were made'.
Feeling uncomfortable, she decided to change the subject.
"What are you going to do now?" She asked quietly.
He thought for a moment.
"I don't know."
"Miles..." Amy said, thinking carefully. "I can't guarantee you anything, but..."
He looked at her, frowning slightly.
"Bunnie asked me to do something. She asked me to go to Machina."
"To keep them calm, right? To let them know Knothole had no hostile intent towards them?"
"Yeah. Now... Things are getting tense. I have to go there, because we could be on the verge of a war."
"You want me to go with you."
She nodded.
"All this has blown out of proportion ever since you appeared. The Cyborgs, the attack on Knothole... As far as I'm concerned, it's too much of a coincidence. You're the key, I'm sure of it.
"Like I said, I can't guarantee you anything, but if you come with me and we see this through... Then maybe you can move on afterwards. You can close this episode of your life."
He thought about her offer carefully. It involved him having to face all he hated once more, and he would be getting no money out of it. And the alternative- well, all he had to do was look to the east. Open land, the opportunity to escape.
To run away.
And that thought cut deep. He could run, and indeed he felt the longing to- but it wouldn't solve anything. And besides, deep inside he still held the lessons he had been taught in his childhood.
Sonic never ran away from his problems.
"I'll help you, Miles. I'll help you let go and find yourself again."
Her words were comforting.
"Yeah..." he muttered, then repeated with more confidence, looking towards her. He had no idea that she didn't find his bionic eye quite so unnerving anymore.
"Yeah."
She smiled, and began to make her way back to the hover-car.
"Amy," he called after her, pushing himself to his feet. He felt stronger now, despite having run himself through only a day before.
She looked back at him.
"Thank you," he said, and she smiled once more.
"It's no problem, Miles."
And it was time then for him to make an effort. She could try to help him for the rest of her life, but if he didn't help himself, then it would all be worthless. It was time for him to try to be who he wanted to be.
He had to start somewhere.
"Please... don't call me that."
She frowned, questioningly.
"Call me Tails. You... You can call me Tails."
Amy grinned.
And he found it contagious.