It was Monday morning at the Aurors' offices and Tonks was deep in a reverie thinking of her weekend. She had stayed overnight with Remus the night before the full moon at Headquarters, and they'd almost had sex. He had assured her that he wanted it too, but not so close to the full moon. As he had put it, shagging her until she was sore was one thing, but shagging her until she was hurt was quite another.
"I have no experience to speak of, but I don't want the first time to be traumatic for either of us," Remus said.
"Traumatic? Really?" Tonks asked, rolling her eyes. "Don't you think you're being a bit melodramatic?"
"This close to a full moon, I can assure you it would be nothing short of aggressive," Remus replied. "Aggressive and potentially violent. Under no circumstances will I do that to you – hurt you."
The morning of the full moon, Tonks had reluctantly returned to her flat, leaving Remus in Sirius' care. She had wanted to be there for his transformation, but unsurprisingly, Remus was adamant she stay as far from him as possible. One day I'll be there for him, she thought, just not this time.
Tonks tucked her sky blue waves behind her ear, staring blankly at the parchment in front of her. She was meant to be writing a comprehensive report on all the creatures they had interrogated thus far and found it dreadfully dull. She had hoped being an Auror would involve less paperwork, but evidently paperwork was more important than catching Dark wizards.
"Tonks!" Dawlish's voice boomed behind Tonks' back. She whipped around to find Dawlish looking down at her.
"Yes, Dawlish?" Tonks asked, slightly annoyed.
"New project." Dawlish levitated a stack of parchment onto Tonks' desk. "Shacklebolt requested your help by name," Dawlish explained, scowling.
"Am I to know what it is?" Tonks requested.
"You can read, can't you?" Dawlish sneered. "You're being pulled onto the Sirius Black investigation."
"I am?!" Tonks smiled broadly. "I've wanted this case for so long!" Tonks stifled a laugh, thinking of what she'd be coming up with to protect Sirius' whereabouts.
"It appears Shacklebolt thinks you can be the junior on the case," Dawlish drawled. "I'd have thought your family connection would be unwise, but Shacklebolt must see something of value there."
"Perhaps he thinks it will be helpful," Tonks smiled. "I'll get on it right away."
Tonks' smile faded as she sifted through the stacks of parchment. In pulling Tonks into the Sirius Black investigation, it involved a visit to Azkaban. Though Tonks had visited Azkaban before in her Auror training, the entire place made her uneasy, even with Patronuses protecting her and her fellow Aurors. Evidently this trip to Azkaban involved ensuring the dementors were on the Ministry's side.
"Dreading it?" A rich baritone voice asked behind Tonks.
"Kingsley!" Tonks exclaimed. "Another trip to Azkaban?"
"Unfortunately, yes," Kingsley explained. "Not without reason, I promise." He leant forward and murmured, "We'll have Order business to conduct there as well. More on that tonight."
"Thank you, sir," Tonks replied loudly. "Though I am not looking forward to a visit to Azkaban, anything that helps us capture the notorious mass murderer Sirius Black will be a worthy endeavor indeed." Tonks grinned mischievously at Kingsley, as she layered each syllable with thinly veiled sarcasm.
"Your devotion to the Ministry is noted, Tonks, thank you." Kingsley winked at Tonks, and Tonks returned to the stack of paperwork, filled with a little more sense of purpose.
…
A loud wooden clang rang out through the basement kitchen of 12 Grimmauld Place, calling the Order meeting to begin. Moody's wooden leg, when used in this manner, easily startled everyone.
"Dumbledore isn't joining us tonight?" asked Arthur.
"He's traveling," Moody replied. "I'm leading tonight. Any objections?" Everyone in the room looked away. "Well then," Moody continued, "let's begin."
"Sirius, you'll draft the schedule for monitoring the Department of Mysteries," Moody commanded. Sirius nodded in assent.
"Tonks, Kingsley, and I will be going to Azkaban this week," Moody stated. "We'll be back by the end of the week."
Tonks saw Remus' jaw drop, while Sirius stared at Moody in disbelief.
"Why?" Remus spluttered.
"Do you mean why Tonks?" mumbled Sirius, in Remus' ear. Remus was growing red in the face, knuckles clenched white as he gripped the wooden tabletop. "Calm down, Moony," Sirius muttered. Tonks observed Remus and Sirius in conversation, with an amused expression in her eyes.
"Why, Lupin?" Moody growled. "Because we have reason to believe Voldemort is trying to turn the dementors toward his cause, which would be unhelpful, don't you think?"
Remus looked back down. Sirius looked up, cleared his throat, and clarified, "Why all three of you, this week?"
Tonks replied, "I've had the pleasure of being assigned to your case, Sirius, and the Ministry believes that you may be attempting to help some of your, umm, colleagues, in escaping from Azkaban. Load of rubbish, obviously. Kingsley had to convince Scrimgeour to let me on so we could do Order business in addition to Ministry bullshit." Sirius snorted in reply.
"But…Azkaban? You'll be alright?" Molly asked, eyeing Remus' expression. Tonks noticed a flicker of understanding in Molly's eyes.
"I have a lovely Patronus, Molly, as do all of you," Tonks replied, airily. "We'll be just fine." Tonks winked at Molly, reminding herself to thank the woman later for asking what Remus could not.
"Once we get back from Azkaban, we'll monitor the homes of known Death Eaters and their families in addition to monitoring the Department of Mysteries," Moody continued. "Any questions?"
The rest of the meeting went by slowly, with Sirius asking the others for their schedules to plan out monitoring the Department of Mysteries. Tonks met Remus' eyes frequently during the meeting. Tonks saw the concern in Remus' eyes. From the other side of the room, it was near impossible to assure him. At last, the meeting came to an end and the Order members dispersed, leaving Remus, Sirius, Tonks, and the Weasleys in the kitchen.
On her way out of the kitchen, Molly asked, "Tonks, might I see you for a moment?" Tonks saw the glint in her eyes, and noticed Remus shift uncomfortably.
"Of course, Molly," replied Tonks, following the older witch up to the landing.
"I'll be right back, Arthur, dear," assured Molly. "A little bit of girl talk, if you don't mind." Molly smiled sweetly at the men in the kitchen on her way up.
Once they were out of earshot, Molly asked Tonks, "You and Remus?"
Tonks blushed. "You've got excellent observational skills, you do."
"Being the mother of seven children gives you that chance, dear," Molly replied. "Are you being careful?"
"Careful?" Tonks asked. "With what?"
"Your charms and potions, dear," Molly said, exasperated. "I'm not your mother, of course, but you must be careful if you're doing Order business, let alone setting out for Azkaban this week. Not to mention his…condition."
"Oh!" Tonks exclaimed. "No, no, no, we're not, not yet. Anyway, he doesn't let me anywhere near him for a full moon, so we're set there too."
"So it's not serious, then?" Molly asked. Tonks pinched the bridge of her nose. Molly had admirable observational skills, but she could be less than tactful in her speech.
"I'm not sure what you mean by serious," Tonks started, "but we are, exclusive, I suppose. Just not doing – that. Yet. You know he's an honorable man."
"Very well, Tonks," replied Molly, a relieved look in her face. "Not that we wouldn't welcome a baby, but you should be careful if you're going to be doing Order business."
"I'm very capable, Molly," Tonks said, rolling her eyes. "Remus is far more careful than I am."
"If you need anything, you know where to find me?" Molly asked.
"Yes, Molly," replied Tonks. "I promise I'll let you know the moment I need anything." Tonks followed Molly back downstairs, where Arthur, Sirius, and Remus gathered around the table laughing loudly.
"I hate to break up the happy party, but we must be going, Arthur," said Molly. "Good luck this week, Tonks, dear." Molly eyed Tonks once more, looked over at Remus, and then went into the fireplace to Floo home.
"What was that all about?" asked Sirius, as soon as the Weasleys had left.
"Witch talk," said Tonks, a grin forming on her face. "No need for your concern, cousin."
Remus inquired, "Are you going to Azkaban tomorrow?" His face was anxiety-stricken. Tonks put her hands on his cheeks, and replied, "Yes, love, but I'll be back by Friday." She rubbed her thumbs underneath his eyes, which sported dark circles after the weekend's full moon. Remus embraced her, holding her tight against him. Tonks broke from his embrace for a moment to face Sirius.
"Sirius," began Tonks, "do you know how to brew Calming Draught?"
"Of course," Sirius replied. "I expect we'll need several cauldrons' worth this week for Moony." He smirked in Remus' direction; Remus in turn offered him an obscene hand gesture.
"I'll be fine, Remus, really," Tonks assured. "I'll have Moody and Kingsley with me. Want to see my Patronus?"
Remus nodded, and Tonks cast the spell, "Expecto patronum!" A silvery jack rabbit emerged from her wand and hopped happily through the basement kitchen, stopping to look at Remus with lopsided ears. Sirius and Tonks beamed at the sight, and Remus put his head in his hands.
"It's lovely, Tonks," said Remus. "I'm just worried. Stay with me tonight?"
"Silencing charms, if you don't mind," interjected Sirius. "Even if you're not shagging, I don't need to hear Moony wail all night." Remus glared at him, while Tonks laughed.
"If I have anything to say about it, Sirius," Tonks said, "Moony here will be happily howling." She grinned mischievously at Sirius, while Remus grew pink in the face, smiling sheepishly. Tonks beamed at his reaction.
"Though since I've got to head out tomorrow, why don't you stay with me for the night?" asked Tonks. "Then we needn't bother with silencing charms." Tonks flashed Remus a wicked grin, and he nodded happily in assent.
Once outside of Headquarters, Remus Apparated with Tonks back to her flat. They went inside, and Tonks cast silencing charms on her door. Just in case, she thought. Remus whipped around to face her, and said, "I don't expect anything, love. I just wanted to be with you before you go off."
"I know you don't expect anything, Remus, but I was hoping we could make some happy memories for all the Patronuses I'll be conjuring this week," Tonks said, coyly. Remus blushed furiously.
"If we're going to make happy memories," Remus said slowly, "I want them to be happy for you."
"Is that so?" Tonks asked, brow raised. "What did you have in mind?"
Remus stepped towards Tonks and grabbed her in his arms. Tonks wrapped her legs around his waist, kissing him frantically as he walked them towards her bed. Tonks felt Remus lay her down tenderly on the unmade bed, pressing himself against her as he gently kissed her neck and up her jawline, nibbling softly at her ears. She felt his hands softly graze over her chest, as he murmured, "Is this okay?"
"Yes, love, yes," Tonks gasped, in between kisses. "Please."
Remus unclasped her robes and began to unbutton her shirt with shaky hands. Tonks reached down to unbutton his cardigan and shirt in turn, but he brushed away her hands. "For you, Tonks, for you," he said. "Just for you." Tonks felt her heart beat erratically at his insistence. She migrated her hands to reach through Remus' soft, sandy brown hair, running her hands through it. Remus had unbuttoned her shirt and rested his hands on her bra. "May I?" he asked. Tonks lifted herself up and unclasped her bra, tossing it over a nearby chair.
Remus' eyes grew large, the flecks of gold dancing in them as he gazed at Tonks' bare breasts. He cupped them tenderly with his hands, softly rubbing his thumbs over the pebbled crests, then taking his mouth, he licked her nipples until they were taut and pointed. "You're so beautiful," he murmured. "So perfect." Tonks felt his hands graze back up to her face, as his mouth drew back over hers, nibbling her bottom lip. Her lips parted and she tasted him in her mouth. He tastes like a spice, warmth, she thought, like Christmas. Cinnamon. He tastes like cinnamon.
Remus spent the evening loving Tonks in all the ways she wanted, giving her pleasure she hadn't thought possible so soon. When she tried to return the affections, he brushed her hands away.
"When you get back, love," Remus replied. "You need the happiness more than I do." He continued kissing her, nuzzling his face into the crook of her neck, breathing in her contented sighs. "I can wait," he whispered. "I will wait." Tonks cuddled into his arms, slightly shivering. Remus placed her robe over her, and tucked her under the sheets with him. He held her in his arms until she fell asleep.
…
Tonks woke up to hear the sound of a shower. She opened her eyes and breathed in the smell of Remus on the sheets surrounding her. She smiled pleasantly until an alarm buzzed angrily in the background. The sound of the shower stopped, and a half-dressed Remus stepped out of the bathroom to turn the alarm off. Tonks rolled over to see him in his state of undress. He's beautiful, she thought, towel wrapped around his waist. She had yet to see his bare chest. It was marked with scars, but his lithe frame looked more rugged with the scars.
Remus looked slightly abashed at being half-dressed, but Tonks smiled at him more widely. "Hi handsome," she breathed. "Fancy seeing you here." Remus' ears grew pink at this.
"I packed some things for you, love," Remus began. "I hope you didn't mind, but I wanted to gather some things before you went off to the most depressing place on earth."
"How romantic," murmured Tonks. "I do appreciate it though."
"I assume you'd like me to care for Ophelia while you're out?" Remus asked. "I've already fed her."
"For someone who's never been a boyfriend before, Remus, you're well on your way to being the best one yet," Tonks grinned, grabbing clothes on her way to the bathroom to get ready. She kissed him on the cheek as she gathered her things.
Remus' smile grew wider, and Tonks clapped her hands on either side of his face. "We'll pick up where we left off when I get back, okay?"
"Okay," Remus breathed. "Be safe, Tonks. You…mean a lot to me."
"I know, you muppet," replied Tonks. She kissed him goodbye, and sped out the door to get to Azkaban.
…
Azkaban was somehow more depressing than Tonks had remembered it. Perhaps it had been that the first time, she was a brighter, younger Auror in training. Perhaps it had been the larger amount of Patronuses keeping the dementors at bay. As it was, Moody's non-corporeal Patronus was powerful enough to keep the dementors away, even without Kingsley's lynx or Tonks' own jack rabbit. Remus had unsurprisingly stuffed Tonks' rucksack with chocolate, and she ate liberal amounts of it while she walked up and down the halls housing the prisoners. The gloom of the place made it harder for Tonks to morph; the vividly pink hair she had started with that morning had returned to a mousy brown, mirroring her father's natural hair color. Her eyes were grey, just like her mother's and cousin's, reflecting her relation to the Black family.
The prisoners were examined one by one; while all of them were awful in their own right, one prisoner in particular stood out to Tonks: Bellatrix Lestrange.
Bellatrix recognized Tonks immediately, much to Tonks' dismay. Despite Bellatrix's refusal to see her sister, Andromeda, after her marriage to Tonks' Muggle-born father, somehow Bellatrix knew enough to recognize Tonks at once; Tonks supposed it was her characteristically Black grey eyes.
"The half-blood scum has come to see me?" Bellatrix jeered at Tonks. "I should have killed you when I had the chance." Bellatrix spat on Tonks in hatred.
"I wouldn't be here unless I had to be," Tonks replied, coldly. She cast cleaning charms on herself to remove Bellatrix's hate and spit.
"How's mum?" Bellatrix mocked. "Still married to the filthy Mudblood?"
"My parents are happily married," responded Tonks, "and they are far better people than you will ever be." Tonks held her head high as she replied to her lunatic aunt. As she stared, Tonks broke off a slab of her chocolate and ate it in front of her aunt. Bellatrix's eyes grew wide at the sight, nearly stepping closer to Tonks.
"The Dark Lord will return and I will finally rid my family of its diseases," Bellatrix taunted. "You disgust me and I will kill you the next time I have a chance."
"Not if I have anything to say about it," Tonks curtly replied. Tonks' eyes narrowed, and she continued, "Unfortunately for me, I have to ask you some questions while I'm here."
Bellatrix cackled; the sound made Tonks' hair stand on end. Another strategic bite of chocolate was taken in preparation.
Tonks braced herself. She began with the Ministry-provided questions.
"Have you received any communication from notorious mass murderer Sirius Black?"
"That blood-traitor and I have nothing in common. He is a stain on the noble House of Black." Bellatrix spit on the floor.
"Have you received any communication from any followers of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, otherwise known as Death Eaters?"
Bellatrix bared her forearm, showing the Dark Mark. The mark was considerably darker than Tonks had ever seen it on a Death Eater; obviously Voldemort had returned. How could the Ministry idiots fail to notice this?
"Does this mark mean you have received communication from He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named?"
"What do you think, you piece of shit?" Bellatrix's eyes were wide with a hideous scowl appearing on her face. "The Dark Lord is rising again and you will be punished for your insolence, you filthy brat. You and your dirty half-blood mouth will never speak again."
Tonks pinched the bridge between her nose, trying to rein in her anger. Her magic was occupied with her Patronus; if it hadn't been for the effort it took to conjure the jack rabbit, she might have hexed Bellatrix into oblivion.
"Very well," Tonks said, as flatly as she could. "That concludes my questions, unless you have any further comments for me."
Bellatrix sulked and returned to a corner of her cell, scowling to herself and rocking back and forth. If anyone deserves these dementors, Tonks thought, it's this excuse for a human being. Tonks walked away, readying herself for the next Death Eater interrogation.