Disclaimer: I changed my name to Joss, but I still did not have the rights to Buffy. So sadly I do not own these characters. Hope you enjoy. Reviews are welcome. Flame if you wish, but for the love of god spell correctly and do not use caps.

The flicking of the TV was the only light in the room. A lone figure stood by the doorway. Xander hadn't moved from his chair in three days and it was starting to worry his friends. He barley said anything and if he did choose to speak, his responses were mostly one worded.

The gang didn't know what to do. He was the strong one in these situations, in fact no one ever saw him mope about lost love.

What worried his friends the most was that he lost his Xander quality. He made no jokes. He seemed to completely lose his sense of humor. He didn't eat; just drank beer. The weight loss was noticeable.

His clothes just hung off him. He didn't sleep either. He was dying and no one said or did anything. It seems they thought this phase would pass. Willow and Buffy both got out of their ruts and were fine. Xander would too, right?

Willow was tired of waiting. Her Xader shaped friend was dying and she'd be damned if she let that happen. With a heavy sigh she made her way towards her friend.

"So, anything good on?" Her voice was higher than she liked. Smooth Willow. Really smooth. She mentally chided.. Xander chose to ignore her. Willow tried again.

" Dawn rented some movies, I figured you'd like to watch. Seeing as how, you know, you haven't moved from that spot and the VCR is on this TV. Hard to watch a movie with the DVD or VCR." She continued this babbling for a few minutes until Xander finally spoke.

"I'm fine Will." A full sentence this time.

"You are? 'Cause I guess the lack of movement and you know, lack of eating kinda threw me off." Willow was determined to stay and get through to him. She was the only one who really knew him.

"Not hungry." You could hear slight annoyance in his voice. Willow walked in front of him, blocking his view of the TV.

"Do you mind? You're blocking my view."

"That was sort of the point. You miss her don't you? I know what its-" Xander cut her off.

"Just leave me alone. Please?" He hated begging and was losing his patience. Why couldn't she let him mourn in peace?

"Xander I only want to help." Xander finally decided to look at her.

"Help? How can you possibly help me?" She was taken back by the look in his eye. She almost forgot he lost one. Xander looked so . .broken. She found her voice again.

"The same way you helped me and Buffy." She kneeled in front of him and grabbed his hand.

"And how did I do that?" He curious as to what she had planned.

"Well, you talked to us and made us laugh. I think the Snoopy dance was done on numerous occasions. You never let things get this far." She frowned and looked down.

"This far? How far am I?" He was amused. Willow lifted her head.

"You're not eating. You haven't left this spot in days. You don't talk to anyone. You're slowly dying and it's killing me that we didn't do anything."

"I'm talking now. I believe I remember someone going even "further" than I am last year." he struck a nerve and he didn't mean it. Willow winced at his comment.

"I'm sorry Will. I didn't mean that. Its just this is different."

"How?"

"She had a choice. She chose to die Willow."

"Xander, she saved someone's life. She did a very noble thing. You should be proud."

So that what it is. She thought.

"I don't understand why I should happy my girlfriend is dead.." He spat angrily

"Well, look at it this way, when you first met Anya, she was rude and selfish. She didn't really care about others. But when she was withyou she changed. She became a better person because of you. She came a long way and you a big part it. She saved someone's life when she was used to causing pain and misery."

"I see that Willow. I know she grew up but its not fair. I loved her Will. I really did and now she's gone. I should be proud. I should be happy she became the person I always told you she was but I'm not. Everyone time I see Andrew . .I see her."

"Xander." She got the flood gates open and she'd fear they come crashing down again.

"You want to help, Willow?" She nodded. She really did,

"Then leave me alone."

Willow had no other options. If he wanted this she had no choice. She's try again later but for now she left him alone.