Chapter 2

Disclaimer: It's in the first chapter. Too crazy to write it again. Also the song The Night Pat Murphy Died is a traditional folk song made famous by Great Big Sea. We don't own it, but we can borrow it for a while!

Authors' notes: Cookies made out of playdoh are not edible. Yuck! Cookies to HYPERPISCES, awesomepossum and Jewelmarie for their reviews. These are cybercookies, so they probably don't taste that good either.

The coffin was filled to the brim with whiskey, hundreds of bottles of whiskey. There was no room for a corpse. Oddly enough, there were also small packages of honey-roasted peanuts and a couple of cans of spaghetti-os tucked into the corners of the casket.

"Now that's one hell of a cooler," observed Warrick.

"You'd think the body'd be in here," said Sara.

Warrick thought for a moment. "This is just weird. Why is the body at the bar and the drinks inside the casket. And how did they get a coffin into the pub without anyone noticing."

Sara listened to the crowd outside. Obviously, the rest of the team was having little luck in rounding up the witnesses. They had stopped singing, however. The group now was chanting "Beer! Beer! Beer! Beer! Beer! Beer! Beer!"

"From the sound of that crowd, they probably brought it in during one of the group chants. Now, what do you make of this?" Sara indicated the digital clock on the wall. Someone had written giant green X on it and wrote "IT BE NIИNE O'The KLOK" above it."

Warrick picked up something off the ground. It was a green felt-tipped marker, probably the one used to alter the clock. "Looks like people were reluctant to honour last call."

"Considering that bunch out there, that doesn't surprise me at all." Sara said, "Now, what are we gonna do about those?" She pointed upward, indicating the teeth in the fan.

"I guess we need to get them down somehow." Warrick went to look for a ladder, but the only one he could find was made out of miniature cocktail umbrellas and swizzle sticks. He returned to tell Sara the bad news just as the chorus of drunks outside started singing Wannabe by the Spice Girls.

"Sara, I think we need to form a human ladder. Get up on my shoulders and get those teeth."

"Ewww! Why do I hafta get the teeth? You know how I feel about saliva!"

"Would you like me to get on your shoulders?"

"Point taken, but I still don't want to touch them. Hand me another pair of gloves."

"You're double-gloving just for some teeth?"

Sara glared at him and then asked "How am I supposed to get on your shoulders? I quit cheerleading before they did that kind of stuff."

"Whoa! You were a cheerleader!"

"For about a week. There was a mix-up when I was in high school, my guidance counselor messed up what clubs I wanted to join. The joys of transferring mid-semester. For the sanity of everyone at the lab, don't tell Greg."

"Knowing him, he'll insist that you wear the uniform on the next case." Warrick said with a chuckle, "OK, stand on that chair, and then try to get up on my shoulders."

After a couple of missteps, Sara finally managed to balance on Warrick's shoulders. As she reached for the dentures, her hand grasped something else.

"While I'm up here, I should take pictures. You'll never believe the position this bra is lying on the fan." Warrick passed her the camera. Remarkably, Sara did not lose her balance until the fourteen various clothing items were photographed, bagged and catalogued. The last item she collected was the teeth. Unfortunately, Warrick had to sneeze just as she was reaching for them to grab them delicately with two fingers.

"AAAACHHOOO!" Sara went flying, and grabbed the teeth with her palm. Fortunately, the week of cheerleading had toned her reflexes to land on her feet. Unfortunately, the teeth were still covered in slobber, and Sara's double gloving wasn't enough to prevent her from feeling it.

"EEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW! SALIVA! Gimme a bag, quick quick quick quick quick!"

Warrick handed the bag over to Sara, much to her relief. Outside the mass of drunken party-goers had turned around and begun to sing another song.

"Oh no! They're singing O Canada again!" Warrick glanced out the window. "This time they're singing it to the banner on the bar across the street."

"I still can't believe you fell for Rick's phony O Canada lyrics."

"Hey, Greg did too! And Greg still believes that Canada's government meets in a giant igloo."

"Tell me you weren't in uniform when you were filmed."

A flush of colour became visible in Warrick's face. "We, kind of were…wait a second! How did you know that guy's name was Rick?"

This time, it was Sara's turn to blush. "We, uh, kind of dated for a couple of months. It didn't work out since he had to go back to Canada and I wanted to stay for my job. I love working here, even if it does mean I have to touch teeth every once in a while."

"Well, at least we're almost done in here. Imagine what Catherine and Greg have to put up with! It sounds like a zoo out there.!"