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Breaking The Cycle

Chapter 2.

Ryan felt like he was in limbo all morning. He couldn't concentrate and he still wasn't getting any answer from Danny's house. At lunchtime he walked to the quad and rang again.

"Hello."

Ryan almost jumped when he heard Becky's voice on the other end of the line.

"It's Ryan. I've been trying to reach you since last night. Is there something wrong with your line?" He tried to keep his voice even and not let his irritation show.

"I'm sorry, we turned the ringer off and I've only just remembered to turn it back on." He heard Becky sigh. "About last night, I should have rung you back but it wasn't a good time. Danny was playing us up all evening, you know what kids are like."

Ryan was silent and Becky continued.

"Mike told him earlier he couldn't play on his computer because we had a bad report from the school and they argued about it. Mike's trying really hard but it isn't easy for him hearing Danny talk about you like the sun shines out of your ass and him sneaking out of bed and ringing you was the last straw. Mike wants to be part of this family but Danny's making it so difficult for him."

Ryan winced at the not so thinly veiled dig. Becky had been a teenage mom and at twenty-four she was only a couple of years older than Missy. She'd made it clear a while back that she wanted much more from Ryan. Ryan had had to let her down gently. He was with Missy, and as much as he loved Danny and would do anything for him, becoming his dad was not an option. Ryan was ashamed to admit that he'd really thought long and hard to see if he could make it work, if only for Danny's sake. He got on with Becky, but she was no Missy and it wouldn't be fair on Danny to pretend. He knew what that did to couples first hand. He didn't need his therapist or Freud to tell him that even contemplating on throwing his relationship with Missy away just to try and make amends for the shitty life a seven year old had had was fucked up.

"He sounded pretty upset to me."

Becky sounded exasperated.

"For Gods sake Ryan, he's a small kid throwing a tantrum because he couldn't get his way. And he knows just how to push all your buttons. Things are good for me…for us at the moment…we've got a shot at making this work and I don't need you interfering in my life whenever you feel like it."

Ryan gave a sarcastic laugh.

"Sorry, I mean, I get a call in the middle of the night from your son in tears, I can't get hold of you for hours, you haven't been with Mike long, anything could have happened. Sorry for fucking caring Becky."

He saw Seth heading his way. Great. He turned his back and hoped that Seth would take the hint. Becky sighed again on the other end of the phone.

" I'm sorry Ry…I know you don't really like Mike but I do and that's what matters here. I gave you a shot but you didn't want to know."

He could hear her moving around the kitchen. She sounded like she was washing the dishes. Everything sounded so normal so why couldn't he switch off the alarm bells?

"Sorry that was a low blow. Thanks for worrying Ryan but there is nothing to worry about. Danny was upset because he couldn't play a computer game. That's it…end of story. Don't make everyone out to be the big bad wolf. Mike is a good guy, I know it."

Ryan did his best to ignore Seth who was hovering near. Maybe he was letting his distrust of people get the better of him. It did sound plausible. Hell, even Seth was known at the age of seventeen to get upset and almost tearful if his parents barred him from the Play Station.

"Okay…it just freaked me out when you didn't answer the phone."

"Sorry about that. I promise I'll ring you back if Danny bugs you like that again."

Ryan moved away from Seth. His friend did his best not to appear to be eavesdropping but couldn't make it any plainer if he tried. He turned his back to Seth again and spoke softly into the phone.

"He wasn't bugging me, it's fine if he rings. I was just worried that's all, look I've got to go. I'll speak to you soon?"

"Yeah, I'll ring you soon, promise. Bye" Becky cut the connection. Ryan held onto his phone. Part of him felt relieved but part of him mistrusted plausible explanations. They often came too glibly. He remembered falling off his bike all the time when he was a kid. Or at least that's what he told his teachers.

Seth appeared at his side again.

"Dude, who was that?"

"Nobody." He needed to think about this and not have Seth on his back.

"Looked like a pretty intense convo for nobody."

"Seth can I have the keys? I've got one hell of a headache. I'm just going to skip the rest of the day."

Seth squinted his eyes at him.

"What's up?"

Ryan picked up his bag and slung it over his shoulder.

"Nothing other than I'm not feeling too good. I'm just going to go home and crash. You okay for a lift with Summer?"

Seth dug in his pocket and held out the keys. Ryan made a grab but Seth snatched them away.

"You sure there is nothing going on that I need to know abou? You and Missy O.K?"

Ryan sighed.

"We're fine Seth. I just want to crawl into bed and sleep this off right now."

Seth looked Ryan in the eye for a moment, then handed him the keys.

"You do look kinda shitty."

Ryan gave a weak laugh.

"Thanks Seth. Cover for me will you?"

Seth saluted as Ryan walked off in the direction of the car.

Ryan lay on his bed and tried to switch off his brain from the whirling vortex of worry that had seated itself in there. He knew he was probably being stupid. Danny could get pissy with the best of them but he had sounded so upset. His sobs had taken Ryan back to that first day they'd met, with him sat forlornly on the end of the bed at the refuge. Ryan had promised that he'd be there for him. He wanted to be there for him but Becky saying that he was interfering played back in his mind.

But Danny had rung him and he realized that he couldn't ignore that call. If Danny was upset because of a computer game ban then great, but he knew he'd get no peace until he confirmed it for himself. Ryan got up, took two Tylenol to ease the headache brought on by lack of sleep the previous night and grabbed the keys to the SUV. Interference or not, he owed it to Danny to deliver good on his promise.

Ryan weaved in and out of the traffic. If he was fast he could make it in time to pick Danny up from school and save him a journey home on the school bus. Thank God that Becky had found that living with her mother was too much to take and had moved back to Chino two months after leaving. If they had still lived in Wisconsin then he would have probably been going out of his mind.

He pulled up outside the school and waited. He nodded to several of the teachers as they stood shepherding the kids into the buses. He'd picked Danny up from school several times and he was a known face now. He scanned the small faces for any sign of Danny. He jumped when someone tapped on the window. He looked around and saw Miss Chick, Danny's homeroom teacher. He wound down the window.

"Hi Ryan, you do know that Danny's not in school today?"

Ryan frowned, his head pounding.

"Um no. This wasn't arranged; I was just passing and thought I'd pick him up. Is he sick?"

Miss Chick smiled reassuringly.

"He's been absent for a few days with a head cold, I'm sure he's fine."

Ryan swallowed.

"Thanks, you saved me from a long wait."

"No problem. I saw the car and figured you didn't know."

"Thanks. I'll get going then."

He wound up the window and started the engine. He turned the car around and headed in the direction of Becky's house.

What the hell was going on? Becky hadn't mentioned Danny being ill. That in itself was unusual, she normally told him stuff like that.

Interfering or not he was going to find out what was going on.

He pulled up outside Danny's house and made his way up to the porch. He rang the doorbell and waited.

The door opened. Becky looked at him in shock and then went to slam the door in his face; he shot his foot out and stopped her.

Becky gave a resigned look and opened the door wide. She stood in front of him and crossed her arms.

"I should have known you wouldn't leave it alone."

Ryan looked at her split lip, reached out, and took her in his arms as she started crying.

TBC