It was the evening of April's full moon and Tonks was readying herself to spend the evening in her Hogwarts room, loyally keeping to her promise to stay there, away from the threat of werewolves who may or may not be hunting her. Before she was able to pack her overnight rucksack, an angry, impatient rapping came from the door. She was unsure of who might be calling at the hour, and she rushed to the door to find a disheveled Dawlish at her door.
"Emergency meeting at the Ministry," Dawlish said breathlessly. "Now. All Aurors on deck."
"Okay?" Tonks said. "I'll get ready, then." The last time an all-Auror meeting was called, there had been a mass breakout from Azkaban. Tonks shuddered at the possibilities that would lead to an all-Auror meeting this late in the evening, but dutifully put on her Auror robes and used Ab's Floo to get to the Ministry.
Unlike the breakout from Azkaban over a year earlier, the Atrium was calm and held only subdued Aurors.
"SILENCE!" bellowed Scrimgeour. Tonks rolled her eyes, noting that the call was unnecessary, given that the Aurors were already speaking in hushed tones.
"We have an emergency mission early tomorrow morning," Scrimgeour announced. "Every Auror is needed, including those of you on long-term missions elsewhere." He eyed Tonks and Alfie in particular. Tonks perked up at the announcement; she was delighted that she'd be somewhere other than Hogsmeade, if only for a few hours.
"We've discovered a massive werewolf encampment near the mountains," Scrimgeour declared. "It is believed to be the location where several children, who have by now become werewolves themselves, are being held against their will. We believe their leaders, Fenrir Greyback and Remus Lupin, are responsible for the kidnapping and abuse of said children. They may also be implicated in the murder of two girls by the surname Morris."
Tonks' jaw dropped and she blanched; the Remus Lupin she knew would never have hurt a child. Something was wrong; it had to be wrong! She opened her mouth to speak, but felt a broad hand on her shoulder.
"I'll take care of it," Kingsley's low, steady voice whispered in her ear. "I promise."
"Thank you," Tonks whispered. If Kingsley was on the task, Remus might be okay. There was simply no way that Remus would have aided and abetted in the kidnapping, abuse, or murder of children. It was simply impossible.
"TONKS! WALLACE!" Scrimgeour bellowed. Tonks rolled her eyes but came forward with Alfie to Scrimgeour.
"You two will be receiving the families of the werewolf children tomorrow morning," Scrimgeour said, handing them a list of children's names and their parents or guardians. "Come at moonset tomorrow," he added.
"Yes, sir," Tonks and Alfie said in unison.
"Return to Hogsmeade for now," Scrimgeour said. "You're expected in the Atrium tomorrow morning."
"We don't need to hear what the others are doing?" Alfie asked hopefully. Even Alfie had had enough of Hogsmeade, Tonks thought.
"No. Return to your posts," Scrimgeour said, while frowning at the other Aurors in preparation for assigning the next tasks.
"Right then," Tonks said. "Tomorrow morning it is," she said, turning to Alfie. He simply nodded before going to the Floo. Ever since she'd berated him and threatened him over inappropriate comments, he'd kept his distance, much to her delight. She returned to the Floo as well, eager to get back to the Hog's Head then Hogwarts. She had a new assignment, even if it was just for the morning.
…
Tonks' morning alarm just before moonset in the morning went off loudly in her ear. Tonks didn't care; she would be going somewhere other than Hogsmeade for the day. She dressed quickly in her full moon room at Hogwarts, and rushed to the Floo at the Headmaster's office to get to the Ministry. Minutes later, she was dusting soot off her Auror robes and entering the Ministry Atrium again.
Moonset had been early, and the Atrium was still quiet in the early morning. Haggard, worried, and unfamiliar faces were waiting in the Atrium. Alfie had yet to arrive, but Tonks paced quickly to the unfamiliar faces in the Atrium, hoping she would find the families with missing children there.
"Hello!" Tonks greeted as brightly as she could. She wished in the moment that she could morph again; no matter how hard she tried, it was still out of her reach. Sometimes, the bright hair colors she sported put others at ease, or distracted them from their worries.
The unfamiliar faces looked back at her, until someone spoke.
"Are you the Auror who will be helping us?" a small woman spoke up.
"With finding werewolf children, yes," Tonks replied, as they all had negative reactions to the word "werewolf," with scowls, gasps, and frowns being seen across their faces.
"Please follow me, then," Tonks directed. "We'll be going to the Auror offices, in one of our biggest conference rooms." She led the throng to the lifts. Once they were all snugly within the lift, Tonks spoke again.
"It's going to be alright," Tonks reassured. "Lycanthropy is not a death sentence."
"Easy for you to say!" a plump wizard said angrily. "You're not one of them, are you?"
"No, I'm not," Tonks said hastily. "One of my best friends is, though, and he's a wonderful person."
"You don't hear wonderful and werewolf in the same breath," another woman interrupted.
"I promise, he is," Tonks said. "We may be able to get his help with your children. He was bitten when he was a young child as well. He saved my life last summer."
A few gasps and surprised stares looked back at Tonks. The lift had announced the floor for the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, and Tonks led the group down the hall to the conference room, where the Aurors would be arriving with the kidnapped children.
Before anyone else could speak again, a memo came flying at Tonks.
"Excuse me, I'll need to open this," Tonks said sheepishly to the gathered families. She opened the note, which read:
Auror Tonks,
You're on your own for the families. Fenrir Greyback attacked a boy last night and he's at St. Mungo's with fatal injuries. We've assigned Auror Wallace to follow up with the family. Ensure all families waiting are ready for their children.
Rufus Scrimgeour
"Well, it looks like it'll just be me today," Tonks said. "Allow me to introduce myself properly. I am Nymphadora Tonks, an Auror. Please, feel free to call me Tonks. I'm to understand you're all waiting for your children or wards. I'd like to learn your names so that we can reunite you with your loved ones." She started with the small woman who had spoken first.
"Hello, what is your name?" Tonks greeted.
"Lottie Wakefield," the woman replied, while eyeing the others nervously. "I'm a Muggle," she whispered to Tonks.
"Not a problem, Mrs. Wakefield," Tonks smiled warmly. "You have two sons, yes? Denys and Wally?"
"Yes, they were taken from us in February," Lottie said sadly. "We lost their father, too. I don't know if the boys know."
"I'm not certain what the children know or have been told," Tonks said in reply. "We'll do our best to catch them up."
Tonks moved to the next couple standing, the plump man with a plump woman at his side.
"We are the Watsons," the plump man introduced. "Our sons are Kellan and Elias. We haven't seen them in four years."
"Oh my," Tonks gasped. "I am terribly sorry to hear that. I hope the reunion goes well."
The families introduced themselves – only the Watsons remained intact in their marriage. All the others had lost a spouse, or in a few unfortunate cases, both parents had died at Fenrir's hands, and a grandmother or aunt and uncle had come for the missing children.
"Do you know when they're arriving?" a woman called Dorinda Schmidt asked. She was the grandmother of two children, Annie and Hugh.
"They should be arriving any minute now," Tonks said. "I'm not certain of the order in which they'll be arriving." A loud commotion came from down the hallway, and Tonks smiled sheepishly at the families.
"It looks like the first one or two have arrived," she announced. "I'll bring them in. Stay here for now, please."
Tonks stepped outside the conference room to see her coworker, Gobards, come in with an aggressive, burly teenaged werewolf who was manacled. The boy was poorly dressed and was covered in mud and matted hair which clearly contained congealed blood.
"For our safety," Gobards said hastily, as he saw Tonks' shock. "This one's called Norman Tremblay." Norman the werewolf spat on Gobards' shoes, and Tonks quickly cast "Scourgify!" to clean the mess.
"I'll get his father," Tonks said quickly. She popped her head into the conference room to see the frightened faces of many families.
"Mr. Tremblay?" she asked softly, as a burly man came forward. "Your son Norman is here. Follow me."
Tonks and Mr. Tremblay stepped out of the conference room. As soon as Norman saw his father, he stopped the aggression instantly.
"How did you get him to do that?" Robards demanded.
"I think he recognizes you as his alpha, Mr. Tremblay," Tonks said quietly. "See if you can get him to come with you."
"Son? Norman?" Mr. Tremblay said tentatively to the teenaged werewolf.
Norman burst out of the manacles, shocking Robards, but embraced his father tightly and began sobbing into his shoulder.
Tonks felt the tears in her own eyes as she saw the reunion between father and son.
"Robards, why don't you take the Mssrs. Tremblay to your office?" Tonks suggested. "We can begin the process of recording young Mr. Tremblay's ordeal." Robards glared at Tonks, as the young werewolf was clearly filthy, but relented when the older Mr. Tremblay began casting spells on his son to clean him.
As soon as Robards and the Tremblays disappeared into an office, Berrycloth, another Auror, came in with two aggressive young werewolves. They had been stunned and manacled, as they were both held up magically.
"Madness, all madness," Berrycloth complained. "Please tell me their father is alive. These two need an alpha." Berrycloth blew into his face to get his long bangs out of the way. "And a shower!"
"What are their names?" Tonks asked.
"Elias and Kellan Watson," Berrycloth said.
"You're in luck," Tonks said. "They're the only ones whose mother and father are still alive. I'll get them now."
Tonks popped her head back into the conference rooms to see anxious faces looking back at her.
"Mr. and Mrs. Watson? Your sons are here," she announced softly. The two plump figures stood up and walked towards the door, looking fearful.
Tonks led them out to the corridor, where the two teenaged werewolves were coming to after being stunned. Their eyes were slightly unfocused, but they were becoming aware of where they were.
"Hello, Elias, Kellan," Tonks said softly. "Your parents are here." Both boys looked at each other and their eyes grew wide as they looked just beyond Tonks to see their parents. Just as Norman had done, the teenage werewolves broke through the manacles holding them and rushed to their father first, before descending upon their mother. Mrs. Watson was carefully casting charms upon her sons to clean them as well, and Tonks felt the tears coming back as she saw the emotional reunion.
In ones and twos, the werewolf children kept arriving with new Aurors. The reunions were painful and emotional, each in their own way. Many of the children were just discovering their mother, father, or both parents had died, and were taking the news poorly while being simultaneously overjoyed at their release from the encampment.
Tonks' heart broke as the children kept coming, as they were growing younger. The aggressive older werewolf adolescents gave way to charming, muddied werewolf children who were still full of life, albeit with a curse in their veins.
At last, the final Auror, Gore, brought in the two boys who remained: Denys and Wally Wakefield. Tonks saw the two young boys come in with Gore, and knew who they belonged to. She turned to enter the conference room, where Mrs. Wakefield sat alone and trembling.
"Mrs. Wakefield, your sons are here," Tonks said gently. "Ready?" The small woman nodded shakily and stood up, following Tonks out of the room.
"MUMMY!" one of the boys cried as he ran down the corridor and barreled into his mother. The boy's brother wasn't far behind, and he crashed into his mother as well.
"My darlings, my darlings," Mrs. Wakefield sobbed as she embraced the boys tightly. "You're alive!"
"Where's dad, mummy?" the smaller boy asked.
Mrs. Wakefield kept crying as she said, "I'm sorry, boys, but your father isn't coming. He's dead."
The boys looked at her, and one another, and began crying in earnest as well.
"I'm sorry, boys, I really am. We couldn't save him," Mrs. Wakefield said. "I'm sorry you don't have a father anymore."
Tonks was watching the scene as her heart broke for the seventh time that morning. Each heartbreak was fresh and raw, but seeing this broken Muggle woman tell her werewolf children they wouldn't have a father anymore was brutal.
"It's okay, mummy," the younger boy said. "We had a fake dad at the camp. Maybe he'll come back and be our real dad."
"Excuse me?" Mrs. Wakefield said in shock. "A fake dad?"
"Remus!" the older boy said excitedly, as Tonks nearly fell over in shock.
"Are you talking about Remus Lupin?" Tonks asked suddenly.
"That was our fake dad!" the older boy announced. "He didn't want us calling him father though. He said we had a dad already."
"What are they talking about?" Mrs. Wakefield said, looking at Tonks and Gore.
"We are under the impression that the children were told to refer to the alpha and beta wolves of the pack as their fathers," Gore explained. "These two appear to have been assigned to Lupin, the beta."
"Is he responsible for what happened to my children?" Mrs. Wakefield demanded.
"No, actually, he's the reason you're holding them right now," Gore replied, looking every bit astounded as Tonks felt. "Somehow he got the childrens' names to the Ministry."
"This Mr. Lupin must have saved your lives!" Mrs. Wakefield declared.
"He saved my life last summer," Tonks said softly, as Mrs. Wakefield looked at her in wonderment.
"This Lupin is one of your best friends?" Mrs. Wakefield asked, eyes wide with astonishment.
"One of your best friends is a werewolf?" Gore asked, with a similar look of astonishment.
"Yes," Tonks said proudly. "He is. I can't tell you how glad I am to hear that he's the reason you were reunited with your sons."
"I'll have to thank him," Mrs. Wakefield said softly.
"Might I suggest we try to get details on your children's ordeal?" Tonks suggested. "Gore, why don't you take Mrs. Wakefield and her sons to your office to get the information?"
He looked at the muddy, grimy boys with distaste.
"Oh, I'm sorry, you're a Muggle," Tonks said apologetically. "The others can simply cast cleaning charms. I'm not great with them, unfortunately, but I'll try my best."
"Perhaps I can help?" a hoarse, warm, familiar voice sounded behind Tonks.
"REMUS!" Tonks and the two boys all shouted in excitement. The boys came running for Remus, who was miraculously clean and shaven. He chuckled softly as both boys went running into his arms. The sight melted Tonks' heart.
"Where did your beard go, Remus?" the younger boy asked.
"I shaved it all off. I didn't like it," Remus said gently. "It looks like you two could use a good bath, no?"
With a few well-placed charms, the boys' grime and mud came off them, and their clothes became cleaner as well.
"It isn't as good as a bath, but I think it will be good enough for a meeting with Auror Gore here," Remus said to the boys.
"You are Mr. Lupin?" Mrs. Wakefield asked. He nodded, and she hugged him tightly. Remus looked bewildered at the embrace, and Tonks held in a giggle at seeing Remus so confused.
"I am Mrs. Wakefield, Denys and Wally's mother," she introduced herself. "Thank you for saving my boys."
"I would say it was a pleasure, but I am very glad they survived," Remus said, as he looked fondly at the boys. "They, and the other children, were the only reason I stayed."
"I will forever be grateful to you, Remus Lupin," Mrs. Wakefield said.
"Err, Mrs. Wakefield? Can we go to my office with your sons? We need to get a report started right away," Gore interjected.
"Of course," Mrs. Wakefield said, as she ushered her waving boys to the office down the corridor.
"Remus!" Tonks cried, running into his arms. He whimpered slightly at the embrace, and Tonks let go suddenly.
"I'm so sorry, I forgot last night was the full moon," she said quickly. "You're alive! You're alive!"
"I am," Remus said, looking at Tonks with his warm, honey-brown eyes. "I can't tell you how good it is to see you, but I'm afraid we can't chat for long. I'm to help these families adjust to the realities of raising werewolf children."
"Oh, right," Tonks said. "I've got to go back to Hogsmeade."
"I'll, umm, let you go then," Remus mumbled, as he turned on the spot.
"No, wait!" Tonks shouted. "Are you back? Can – can I see you again?"
"I'm not certain, Dora," he replied ruefully. "I may be able to owl."
"Please do, if you can," Tonks breathed. "Should I have Lyra come back to you?"
Remus thought for a moment. "Yes, you can do that," he decided.
"Merlin, it's so good to see you again," Tonks whispered. "I've missed you so much."
"I've missed you too, Dora," Remus said quietly. "We can't talk much right now, but if I can, I'll owl."
"Okay," Tonks agreed. She resisted the urge to squeeze him tightly, and instead gave him a kiss on the cheek. He blushed at the contact, but then kissed her on the forehead in return. She felt lightheaded at the brief affection; she hadn't been so starved for affection in years.
"I really hope I hear from you, Remus," Tonks said. Remus squeezed her hand, smiled, and then walked down the corridor, likely to talk to the werewolf families.
She looked back at him walking down the corridor, and reluctantly scurried back to the Ministry Floos, to get back for patrolling Hogsmeade.
…
"Happy birthday, mum," Tonks said eagerly.
"Thank you, Nymphadora," Andromeda replied. "Might I ask what has you in such a good mood today?"
"I saw Remus last week and he owled today!" Tonks nearly shouted.
"Keep your voice down, Nymphadora, or I'll use a Silencing Charm on you," Andromeda teased.
"The whole thing paid off, mum. All eleven children got out of the camp, and they're all back with their families or guardians," Tonks said.
"That's wonderful," Ted added. "Your mother told me all about it."
"It was precious," Tonks gushed. "You should've seen these two little boys, mum. They called Remus their fake dad at the camp, and he was just great with them. I think Remus saved those kids' lives."
"I think so too," Andromeda agreed quietly. "Very Gryffindor of him, I daresay."
"What did he owl you for, Dora?" Ted asked.
"He wants to meet up for lunch this week!" Tonks grinned. "I am so excited."
"As a date, or as friends?" Andromeda inquired, her brow raised.
"Probably just as friends, I think," Tonks admitted, deflating slightly. "I really don't think he'll have changed his mind. I hope he does, but I'm trying not to get my hopes up."
"That's good thinking, Dora," Ted praised. "He seems like an alright bloke, after all."
"Well, of course he is! I really, really hope he changes his mind, mum and dad," Tonks said anxiously. "The past few months have been hell."
"We know, darling," Andromeda said. "But it's his decision as well. Remember what I said before. You can't force him to be with you, no matter how convincing you think you can be."
"I know, I know." Tonks rolled her eyes. "I just hope he's done with that undercover werewolf business."
"What if he isn't?" Ted asked gently, while Tonks stared at him in disbelief. "I'm not trying to dash your hopes, sweetheart, but he's been leading a complicated life for almost a year. Think of all the possibilities before you jump into anything."
"Fine," Tonks agreed. "For now, cake!"
"There's our girl," Ted smiled, as he got up to get the cake for Andromeda's birthday. As Tonks took the first bite of her mother's birthday cake, she felt a glimmer of hope rising in her chest for what might come next.
…
Tonks was nervous. She had dressed herself carefully for the first time in months, as she would be meeting Remus for lunch at the Hog's Head. She was still unable to morph, much to her displeasure. She had been hoping that with seeing Remus again, the morphing might come back, but her hair stayed a stubborn, mousy brown, and the dark circles under her eyes had become permanent fixtures to her face. Sighing in concession, she tied her hair up into a messy bun and descended the stairs carefully to meet Remus.
"Hi, Dora," Remus greeted. He was waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs, and while he looked tired, he looked better than when she'd seen him after the April full moon.
"Wotcher, Remus," she smiled. "Thank you so much for having lunch with me."
"It's my pleasure," he said. "Where do you like to sit?"
"Right here," she pointed, and led him to her favorite table.
They sat down, and after a few moments of awkward silence, expectant glances, and bashful stammering, Tonks broke the silence.
"Is this a date?" she blurted, feeling the creeping blush come over her face.
"Err," Remus stammered. "No."
"Oh," Tonks slumped into her seat. "I figured as much."
"You know nothing's changed, Dora," he said. "I still can't be with you in that way."
"But you're out of the werewolf pack now," she complained.
"I know, but your aunt is still on the loose," Remus said. "I can't do anything about that. I think I've also managed to get Fenrir even more determined to get to you."
"How do you mean?"
"I went back to the pack right after April's full moon. To say they were unhappy with me was an understatement, but they weren't any happier at Fenrir for abandoning them," he explained. "Most of them disbanded and split up into smaller packs. Fenrir's mates stayed behind. Everyone else scattered."
"What does that have to do with me?"
"Fenrir did return, but only after he was certain the Ministry had combed through the encampment. He was also furious at me for cooperating with the Ministry, but there wasn't much he could do about it, so he fled with his mates."
"Okay? I'm afraid I still don't understand."
"He was under the impression that you left me, because that is what I told him," Remus continued. "He thought that getting you back to me would be some form of prize or reward for me. Now that you can no longer be a prize for me, and he seeks revenge for my cooperation with the Ministry, I believe his next thought would be to take you for himself."
"Is that why you kept me in the castle for the full moons?"
"I was afraid he would try to bite you or bring you to me as a 'gift,' he explained. "I couldn't risk you getting hurt or killed because Fenrir couldn't control himself. Now that I'm no longer his beta, he will have no qualms about taking you for himself."
"So I should still stay at the castle for full moons," Tonks said unhappily.
"I'm afraid so," Remus said. "I'm sorry. This is why I wanted to have lunch with you. To explain what I had done and how it would affect you." He looked guilty and his eyes were betraying the pain he felt.
"You think it's your fault," Tonks whispered. Remus nodded and took Tonks' hands into his own.
"I know I helped save the children, and I thought I would be risking only my life, but I had not given any thought to yours," he lamented. "I tried keeping you out of it, and I think I was successful there, but there was no way to cut myself out of the mess I'd made by helping the Ministry. I'm terribly sorry for having failed you again, Dora. I just keep making things worse." He removed his hands from Tonks' and ran them through his hair, one of the biggest tells of his extreme anxiety.
"Remus, please stop apologizing," Tonks ordered. "This is not your fault. You heroically and bravely saved eleven children from a life with werewolves. You took care not to let Fenrir know I helped. It's not your fault."
"I wish I could believe you," Remus sighed sadly, slumping into his seat. "Anyway, this doesn't change the facts. I'm still too old for you, too poor for you, and too dangerous for you."
Tonks took her hands and ran them down her face in anger. "I've told you, over, and over, I don't care about those things."
"I'll die so much earlier than you, Tonks. My life expectancy is already cut short due to the lycanthropy," Remus babbled. "I have no money to offer you. I still turn into a bloodthirsty monster once a month."
"I don't care, Remus," Tonks said in exasperation. "We're at war. We could die any day. I make enough money for the both of us. You can take Wolfsbane Potion to keep safe, and if we can't get it or afford it, we've already seen you can control yourself around me. None of these excuses are good enough."
"Those aren't excuses, Dora," Remus said. "It's the truth. I've made it worse, first with angering Bellatrix, and now further angering Fenrir. There's no way for us to make this happen. I really am sorry, Dora. More than you'll ever know."
"No," Tonks said, crossing her arms.
"This isn't something you can just say 'no' to, Tonks!" Remus said angrily. "You can't just decide things for both of us!"
"I can if you're being stupid!" Tonks bit, as Remus grew red from his own restless emotions.
He bit his lip, and Tonks immediately felt guilty. He was cross with her, and it had been her doing.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean that," Tonks said quickly. "It's not stupid. You're not stupid. I didn't mean any of that."
"You did, though," Remus sighed. "You think my reasons are excuses, and you think I'm stupid for not giving into what you want."
"What I want? Don't you want this too?" Tonks asked. "I thought we both wanted this!"
"Not like this," Remus said quietly. "I don't want a relationship with someone whose life is at risk because of my very existence."
"What are you saying, then? It's never going to happen?" Tonks asked, as a pit formed in her stomach.
"No, it's not," Remus said with finality. "I think I've been too selfish to see this for what it is. I enjoy spending time with you, and I care for you deeply, but this relationship we have is unsustainable."
"But what if we win the war, Remus? What if Bellatrix and Fenrir go to Azkaban or die?" Tonks protested, feeling the tears welling up in her eyes.
"I can't have a relationship based on what-ifs, Dora," Remus confessed. "I was lucky to have what I had with you, but the last several months have shown me just how difficult it is to gain and lose hope repeatedly. Playing this conversation over and over again is exhausting. I don't think I can keep doing this, Dora. I really am sorry." His eyes were shining with unshed tears now.
"Remus, please, not this again," Tonks said, crying. "Please don't do this to me again."
"There is no 'again', Dora," Remus sighed. "We haven't been together in nearly a year. I think we've both been holding out hope that something would change, and it hasn't. It's only gotten worse. I can't keep doing this to us. I can't keep doing this to myself. It's as hard on me as it is on you, or maybe it's worse, as you still have a bright future ahead of you."
"Remus, please," Tonks begged.
"I truly am sorry, Dora," he said, as a few tears fell down his cheeks. "I have to watch out for my own heart, too."
"Do you really think nothing will change your mind?" Tonks asked, afraid to hear the answer.
Remus sat quietly for a moment. "I think it would take something catastrophically good or bad to change my mind," he finally said.
"Can we at least be friends?" Tonks offered. "Even if just by owl. I've missed you."
"I'm sorry, but no," Remus said, crushing Tonks' heart even further.
"Wh-Why not?" Tonks asked, as more tears fell down her face.
"It's been hard on me too," Remus said, choking back his own tears. "Constantly swinging between hope and despair. I wish it could just be hope, but it can't be. It just can't."
"Why not?" Tonks said, through her tears.
"I've seen too much despair and destruction," remarked Remus. "It hurts so much more after hope."
"But what if it does work out? What if there is reason to hope?" asked Tonks.
"I'm sorry," Remus said. "I'm afraid I just can't see it. Not anymore." He looked out the grimy window, out onto the streets of Hogsmeade.
"For what it's worth," said Remus slowly, "you gave me more happiness than I ever thought I deserved. I'll never stop being thankful for that."
"I can still make you happy," Tonks protested through tears. "Just let yourself be with me."
"I'll never stop being sorry, either," Remus said heavily. "I hope that the next time we do meet, it will be as indifferent acquaintances. For my heart, and yours."
"Please don't do this, Remus," Tonks sobbed. "Not again."
"There never was an 'again,'" Remus said softly, as he stood from the table, gathered his things, and left gold on the table for Ab. Tonks had felt blindsided enough that she hardly noticed when he'd left, and the shadows indicated she'd been sitting, staring into the wall, till sunset.