Author's note: I plead for forgiveness for not updating this in a while; I was stuck on which song I was going to use so forgive.

Big thankies to CC Queen Of Death for beta-ing! XD love you'z!

Warnings: slight lime, not really but just warning you.

Disclaimer: don't own beyblade or the song, belongs to Three Days Grace.

I Hate Everything About You

Blinking, I open my eyes. Everything's blurry but I blink it away recognizing the apartment. Kai and I used to live here together, before I left. I…want to get up but I can't. Looking behind me I come face to face with him, Kai. I feel my eyes widen slightly, but I calm down. I remember…what we did last night…I never felt that way before…

I blush remembering how loud we were. I hope we didn't bother anyone. Wincing I look down at where his arm rests around my waist, holding me against his chest. His light breathing on my neck makes me shiver.

I can't believe I did that. Glaring down I shake my head, gently lifting his arm up. I slowly slide out of the bed picking up my clothes and heading in towards the washroom. Dropping my clothes on the floor I turn on the shower, I hope Kai doesn't wake up.

Stepping in the shower I relax as the hot water cascades down my back, washing away what happened. Clearing my body of my seed all dried up on my stomach, the sweat that had already dried up last night. Sighing I press my forehead against the tiled wall.

"I can't believe I did that," squeezing my eyes shut everything comes flooding back. Every image playing like it was a video. Damn it I don't want to think about this!

Everytime we lie awake

After every hit we take

Every feeling that I get

But I haven't missed you yet

Every roommate kept awake

By every sigh and scream we make

All the feelings that I get

But I still don't miss you yet

Only when I stop to think about it

Why-why did I let him do that? I-I turned weak once we entered the building, I didn't struggle anymore, didn't put up a fight and I let him take me. Why?

"Damn it!" Punching the wall I glare at the small dent. Hopefully Kai won't notice that. Turning off the water I reach out my hand for a towel-but someone grabs my hand.

"Hey," said person grabs my other hand pinning me against the wall, the wet wall from the steam tickling my wetback making me shudder. Looking up I come to meet lustful red orbs. I don't want to do that again.

I'm suppose to hate you…

"Morning Kai," I mumble. He greets me with a kiss. His hands wander my taken body, making me moan, he knows where to touch me now. Knows what response I will give. A moan or a groan, a gasp or arching my back into him, he knows.

"Kai," I gasp making him face me. My cheeks are heated, flushed with pleasure. I can't let him do it again. I can't love him back.

I shake my head no as he pulls away glaring before stepping into the shower turning it on not even closing the curtain. I look away putting on my clothes and leaving his room and into my old one.

Entering my bathroom I see everything is how I had left it. Picking up my toothbrush, toothpaste, I place the brush under the tap letting the water run while I brush my teeth.

Rinsing my mouth I look up in the mirror, watching my broken reflection. My hair damp and down to my shoulders, wetting my white shirt making it see-through, my black pants hanging low, but what I really see are the markings on my neck trailing down, my lips red and bruised. I can't believe I did that. With him! He lied…still hasn't told me… hate him! I do!

I hate everything about you

Why do I love you?

I hate everything about you

Why do I love you?

Drying my hair with a towel I walk into my room dropping myself on the bed. What am I doing here? Bryan might be worried…he might come here and get mad. Some friend I am. To cause him the trouble of worrying about me…I should call. Looking over my shoulder there sits the telephone. Picking it up I dial Bryan's cell, he always has it with him.

"Hello?"

"Bryan it's me."

"Tala! Where are you?" I knew he'd be worried.

"I'm…at Kai's," I sigh. He's going to get mad.

"What are you doing there? I thought you were over him Tal," he growls, in the background I hear the whooshing of cars. He must have been looking around for me knowing I had no place to stay.

"I am! I just…I don't know what happened…"

"Did it happen?"

"Yes," I mumble switching the phone to my other ear.

"How are you feeling about it?" I honestly don't know.

"I really don't know Bryan, anyway I just called to tell you i'm alright, sorry I didn't call you sooner."

"Do you want me to pick you up?"

"No, that's not necessary," I reply.

"Alright, be careful. Bye."

"Bye." I hung up the phone placing it back on the stand.

"What am I going to do?" I huff lying down on my back, staring at the ceiling. How long have I even been here? Turning my head to the side my digital clock is still there, reading 1:07 p.m. hm…I slept in. My stomach groans telling me to have lunch.

Sitting up I glare at the floor. I just can't…stay here. I don't love this guy…I don't! My chest clenches telling me of my lie. I mean it though. I don't love him…I can't. Damn it I don't wanna think about this!

Every time we lie awake

After every hit we take

Every feeling that I get

But I haven't missed you yet

Only when I stop to think about it

-Knock, knock-

Hn. Who's there? Getting up I silently walk up to my door opening it quietly without a sound. Peeking through it I spot Kai walking to the door unlocking it. The door is pushed open from the person on the other side of the door launching him or herself onto Kai.

My breath hitches and my teeth clench. It's Rei…why would he be here?

"Kai I remembered what you said but I know it's not true! Everything that happened, Kai I love you!" My shoulders slump and my eyes close. There's someone who loves you Kai. Not me. I don't deserve your love, if you can give love anyway. If you do…give it to Rei…

"Rei shut it! I don't love you ok? Last night was a mistake, nothing happened between us," what happened…? Looking back up Kai's holding Rei's arms down by his sides, his eyes glaring into golden orbs. Rei looks angry, upset and betrayed. Feelings I know all too well.

Rei glares shaking his head breaking Kai's hold on him taking Kai in an embrace holding him close, closing the space in between them. Kai gives up into the kiss…responding…

Closing my door I walk back to my bed holding back the tears. I won't let him make me cry. I can't…I don't…love you…

I hate everything about you

Why do I love you?

I hate everything about you

Why do I love you?

I can't help the way I feel about you Kai. Why do I love you? I can't seem to get rid of you from my mind Kai! I want you to leave me alone!

The tears slide making my sheets darken in colour. Whimpering I let out my feelings I've kept inside.

"I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I d-do…" stuttering I wipe away my tears only receiving more to fall.

I wonder what you're thinking…probably thinking about Rei at the moment. Wonder what you think about me. About us. Was there ever an, us? I really don't know. I hate you, I don't know why I...I love you. Do you know how I feel? You know I love you, but do you know I hate you as well?

Only when I stop to think about you

I know

I here the door squeak open. I stop my sniffling turning around not facing you. I hear your feet pad across the floor towards my bed. Your added weight dips the mattress. Your arms wrap around me but I pull back holding back more tears. You won't see me cry.

"Tala he's gone." I don't answer. You still kissed him back. What did that kiss mean to you?

"Tala enough with this!" I still don't answer crawling away from his grasp. He growls grabbing me harshly pulling me up against his chest. I whimper shaking my head trying to wriggle free. He hits me barking me to stop.

"Sometimes you can be so childish Ivanov!"

"I don't fucking care!" I yell back. My tears fall and I start trembling from my sobs.

"I hate you…" I growl shutting my eyes from your reaction. I'm afraid you'll hit me again. Your arms tighten their hold on me, your chin resting on my shoulder, you hair tickling my cheek.

"Yes you do. But you also love me." I shake my head. "Yes you do," he repeats.

"I don't! I fucking don't Kai!" He shushes me pulling me down to lay with him. I don't co-operate settling for sitting, my back turned to him.

"You know…I hate you too," my body visibly stiffens and I curse myself for it.

"I hated you so much at the abbey. So carefree, too carefree. And I hated you again for not escaping with me. We could have been free." Lies. All of it lies.

"But I've come to love you Tala."

Only when you stop to think about me

Do you know?

Damn it why do I feel this way? Apart of me says I love you, and the other says I hate you! I don't know which way to turn!

"I followed my heart. I know I hated you Tala. For everything you are, and everything you're not. But I love you for the exact same reasons. You feel the same," but I don't like these feelings. I hate them! I want them to be gone! I hate emotions! It hurts…

"It hurts Kai…"

"I know it does," you whisper warmly pulling me into a tight possessive hold. You will never let me go will you?

"I hate you," I mumble.

"I know."

"If you know I hate you, why do you love me?"

"Because." I frown.

"That's not a very good answer."

"It's the best I can give. I love you Tala, and I hate you at the same time believe it or not. But you feel it too," you kiss my neck, the kisses slowly trailing up to my ear. You bite me, and then leave to nibble on my marked skin.

I hate everything about you

Why do I love you?

You hate everything about me

Why do you love me?

"I hate you," I sneer.

I hate

"I hate you too."

You hate

"Is my hate stronger then my love?"

I hate

"I love you Tala."

"But you also said you hate me."

"I do."

"I don't understand."

You love me

"I love you Tala."

I hate everything about you

Why do I love you?

"Why do I love you Kai?"

"That only you can answer Tala."

I hate everything about you. But I also love you for it. Why?

Author's note: please review