Chapter 1
Realization
Maggie sat in the apartment thinking in the time she'd been with Alex so much of what she thought her life was had changed Alex was able to get her to open up and see things differently they had faced and overcome so many issues together but this was one that she wasn't sure they could.
The door opened as Alex came back from spending the night with Kara
"I was hoping you'd take longer getting home" Maggie said looking at Alex while remaining seated
"I thought about it" Alex replied as she went to leaning against the kitchen surface "But it's only going to get harder"
"I don't want to feel like this I Love You" Maggie said as she stood up and moved towards Alex
"Yeah I I Love You back" Alex said as moved away from Maggie to the table she was just sitting at before turning to look at her. It was as if she was using all her will power to keep Maggie at a distance which she was like Maggie Alex has been doing a lot of thinking and this conversation was going to determined there future it would either get them over the hurdle that they were currently at or it would end them breaking both of there hearts.
Maggie saw the look on Alex's face and in her eyes and she knew where this conversation was going to go "This can't be it this is stupid" she said desperation in her voice
"I don't want it to be" Alex said but we've talked about this over and over I am always going to want to be a mom when the time is right" Alex paused for a moment thinking carefully about her next words she'd spent most of last night trying to find the best way of saying this before deciding to let the moment happen naturally no matter if the result was hurt or joy.
After what felt like an eternity Alex spoke "I have something and need to say and please don't interrupt me I need to get this out" Maggie nodded "I once told you that you didn't have to be guarded with me but I think part of you still is I think the reason you don't want kids is because how your parents made you feel by kicking you out you were never given the chance to have proper role models you showed you love so you put up all of your walls never truly letting anyone in out of fear until me one by one I have managed to knock down your walls until there was only this one left your scared Maggie scared that your past means that your not good enough to be a mom but Mags I know you and you are more then enough behind that badass cop image is the most sweet caring and loving person I know you wanted to have all of those firsts with me so let this be another first"
Maggie stood there listening as Alex spoke and realized that what she was saying was completely true ever since her parents kicked her out for being gay she did have walls up she'd even admitted that to Alex and now she saw that she'd never given a second thought about having kids because of all of her defenses against being hurt again and not wanting to burden a child with her problems thankfully the subject had never come up during her relationship with Emily and her other relationships were all too short for that possibility, but now with Alex everything had changed admittedly she'd been hesitant of her when she first came out due to fear but once they'd gotten together her walls had started crumbling Alex had made her get over her hatred of Valentine's Day had gotten her closure with Emily with the two now having a friendly relationship and now as she listened to Alex the last of her walls came crumbling down. Once Alex had stopped talking she waited while Maggie took in and processed what she had said it was now up to her Maggie's next move would determined there relationship.
After a couple of minutes but it felt longer to Alex Maggie spoke "Your right Alex" she said taking a small step towards her "I'm scared that my past will affect a child in a negative way and truth be told none of my other relationships gave me the chance to think about it even Emily and I was with her for five years but with you Danvers you've changed my view on everything including this"
Alex's eyes suddenly had hope in them "What are you saying" Maggie smiled taking Alex's hands in hers "I'm saying that i'm willing to talk about kids in the future as we ride or die together" She smiled as Alex's eyes lit up she pulled Maggie towards her and kissed her with more passion then she had in a while.
After a couple of minutes they broke apart but kept there foreheads together "I Love You Maggie Sawyer" Alex whispered "I Love You Too Alex Danvers but" Maggie started Alex pulled back a slight panic look on her face "Can we please get this wedding out of the way" Alex gave a relived laugh and pulled Maggie back in for another long kiss once they pulled apart Maggie saw that Alex's eyes had darkened and knew what was coming "Do you have any idea how much I missed you last night" Alex said in a low seductive voice Maggie smiled "I have an idea but why don't you show me" Maggie allowed Alex to pull her towards the bed both of them laughing as they fell on it clothes already been undone and thrown across the room