Chapter Four: Deranged Reflections

As the train rolled onwards, the young alchemist sat in silence. The train was every bit as sleek as ever, moving forward towards Central and propelling him back towards the fate he had tried so hard to break free of. He knew that Mustang was waiting at the other end, and for Edward Elric, this ride could take as long as it wanted to get him there.

He still didn't know quite what it was Mustang wanted of him. Why him, specifically? Why come all this way to rip him out of his lazy little town of Rizenpool? Mustang had more than a few men at his disposal. What did he need of Ed, that Major Armstrong - if he was still a Major at this point, and after hearing of Mustang and Hawkeye's promotions over the last four years, Ed wasn't entirely sure - couldn't provide?

Ed sighed. He was getting nowhere, this whole thing was just drawing him around in circles. But at least it was better than thinking about Klose, right? He still couldn't understand what had happened there. It had all happened too fast, he wasn't even sure if what he thought he had seen had been real. That tattoo on the back of Klose's neck, the Ouroborous, the snake that eats itself...it could only mean one thing.

No, Ed pulled back, he would not focus on this. It had been a dream, some horrible, stupid dream that had struck him while he was waiting for the train. Klose was doing just fine down in her own little village, and not stalking him with an ouroborous on her neck and flames burning all over her body. That...that was probably the result of hunger...or something. Ed felt his stomach rumble, realizing he had missed breakfast and lunch.

With a sigh, Ed reflected that perhaps he shouldn't have rushed off the way he did. Would have been nice to stop and get some lunch before taking off, and he knew Winry was going to be upset to hear that he up and disappeared again. And Rose...he should have said more to Rose. He knew that. But what could he have said? What would she have accepted? He was...he was on his way back to the people that destroyed her hometown. The people that...no, he couldn't even think about that. Any time his mind passed over what they had done to her, what she'd been put through...any time he considered that, it filled him with a burning anger that he definitely didn't need right now.

"Rose..." Her name whispered across his lips, and he sighed. He couldn't help but feel as though he were betraying her by going back to Central. Today would have been the day, he knew it, today he would have turned his life around and gotten back on track. He would have rebuily his house, like Aunt Pinako had suggested, and he would...he would have...what? He would have what?

Ed's right hand crawled across his forehead, and he sighed. He didn't know what he would have done after that. What was there for him back in Rizenpool? Besides Winry, Rose, and Aunt Pinako, what did he even have back there? A house burned to ash and memories of his own stupid mistake? A home to rebuild, so that he could linger in the hallways and let the memories of the mother he tried to resurrect and the brother he killed in the process tear at his mind? Rebuild the house...he couldn't help but laugh. Rebuilding the house would be the worst thing he could ever do. Even if he did get the place reconstructed, he wouldn't be able to set foot in it without having to chase off the horrible memories.

Maybe, he wondered...maybe this wouldn't be so bad. Central did have those nice dorms, and he still hadn't read everything they had back in the State library. He knew people in Central, he knew General Mustang and Major Hawkeye, and then there were Ross and Bloch, if they were still there, and Armstrong...maybe everything would turn out just fine...

"...RRGH!" Ed's face contorted with anger and he grabbed his hair in frustration. "NO! THIS WILL NOT BE FINE!" He found himself standing on the seat of his booth in the train, fuming in anger. As he came down from his momentary flash of rage, he noticed several other passengers staring at him. "...um...nothing to see here..." he plopped quickly back down into his booth, trying his best not to look embarassed, while he folded his red coat over himself like a blanket.

A sigh of exasperation left Edward's lips. He knew he was walking into something bad, but what other choice did he have? What else could he do, sit back in Rizenpool, marry one of the girls, and become a farmer?

He could see it now, their own little house rebuilt from ash. Ed sitting in his big, brown chair, smoking a pipe. Dressed in a red bathrobe, and six feet tall, because as long as he was fantasizing, why not be tall? He could see Rose walking into the house, curling her long, tender arms around his neck and climbing up into his lap. He could almost feel the gentle, caressing texture of her hair, nestling softly against his chest, and feel the soft rise and fall of her breathing in his arms. "Oh, Ed," she would say, as he stroked his arms around her waist. "You're so brave and manly and so very, very tall."

"Why yes, I am very tall," he would say with a grin. "And I thank you for noticing!" And then they would kiss, and he would taste her sweet lips pressed against his own, in the soft, tender embrace of her arms. And then babies would appear. Many, many babies.

...now that Ed really thought about it...if you took out the crap about being tall, and the randomly appearing babies, that didn't actually sound so bad. And now he was confused.

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The only sound Winry could hear was the cranking of the wrench she held in her hands. As she sat fuming on her balcony, she tried her hardest to remain focused on the automail right leg she had on the balcony before her. She was doing everything in her power to not lose herself to anger, because at this point, she wasn't even certain who all she was angry with.

Ed had run off again, vanishing without even saying goodbye. She didn't know why he'd left, but she couldn't deny that she hadn't been at least partially expecting this every day these last two years.

And then there was Rose...and she didn't know what to make of Rose. She didn't even know Rose existed until she showed up one day with Edward, just four years ago! And neither of them talked much about where she came from or who she was. She was just the mystery girl that followed Ed home...and with a BABY! She knew better now, but the day Winry saw them walking up the road towards Rizenpool, she could have died. She remembered it so clearly.

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It was just four years back, and she was hard at work repairing an automail right arm. It was the same design as Ed had, way back when. She had heard rumors that he'd somehow managed to regain his own right arm and left leg, but she wasn't sure whether she could trust anything that came through Sheska. Well...that was a bit harsh. She knew that Sheska had an amazing mind for facts, but...when Sheska told her that Ed got his arm and leg back from fighting an evil, alien overlord, she found it difficult to take seriously.

The sun was still just beginning to set over the horizon when she saw them. She was up in her room with her wrench and her screwdriver, trying to get the fingers to function. There was a jam in the index finger, that was preventing it from curling, and had already cracked it open to find what was loose. She probably wouldn't have even seen them coming if she hadn't chanced a glance out the window, at the setting sun, and seen two figures walking down the path that lead to the train station. She knew there were many people that traversed this road, but something made her curious, and she stood up to go see what it was.

The first she identified was Ed, and it was at that moment that she felt her heart begin to soar. He was coming home, he was FINALLY coming home, and the thought filled her with excitement. She knew that red coat anywhere, and that scruffy blond hair with the braids down the back was a sight she had longed to see for what felt like ages. She couldn't make out the other figure, draped in white robes with a hood concealing the face, but it looked human. That alone was enough to turn Winry ecstatic. Ed always traveled with his brother, Alphonse. That other person...it had to be Al! And he was human again!

Without a moment's hesitation, Winry raced to the bottom of the stairs, whipping past her grandmother as she shot through the door. If Al was human, that meant their journeying was finally over. It meant...Ed and Al were coming home to stay! And it was with this excitement that she kicked her legs up the path, racing to greet him. The automail finger was left and forgotten in her wake.

But as she drew closer, something seemed wrong. Her run slowed to a jog, which fell back to a walk. Her eyes struggled in the dark, trying to make sense of the slightly taller figure. "Edward?" she called out to him, knowing he had seen her, but her eyes never left this other figure. The white robes Al wore had a faint pink in them, and now she could make out a face beneath that hood. And as soon as she saw it, she knew something was definitely wrong.

There was a woman there, with soft, dark skin and what looked like bright pink hair, though she couldn't see more than the bangs. Both her arms were folded around a small bundle she held against her chest, a bundle that made Winry's lungs freeze up. She wasn't too experienced with the subject, but she knew a baby when she saw one. "...Edward?" she tried to call out again, but her voice barely moved.

"Winry?" Ed called back to her, but she barely heard it. Her legs refused to move, and she found herself struggling to breathe. Her eyes never left the woman or her baby, and her voice just wouldn't come out. "Winry, what are you doing here?" As the two drew closer, she could hear the uncertainty in his voice, but she couldn't respond. "It's getting late. Shouldn't you be inside?"

"...I...I...I I..." she fought with her voice to speak, but nothing would come out. Her eyes still fixated on that little baby in the woman's arms, she found at this point that she couldn't even breathe. "...who...how..." was all she could stammer out, before she felt her legs beginning to give way.

She felt herself fall, felt the dirt beneath her as she struck the ground. "Winry!" she heard Ed's concern, felt the footsteps in the dirt as he ran to her side, but she couldn't even move. The shock of what she had mistaken for Ed's baby had been too much for her, and she couldn't even hear him anymore. She saw his lips move, but she couldn't hear the sound. Not long after, she passed out.

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"I still can't believe I passed out," Winry muttered to herself. It had been quite the shock, seeing that child there, the woman...she hadn't understood what had happened, and immediately she had thought the worst. Neither of them had stayed long, before Ed was summoned back to Central. Rose and her baby had gone with him, probably out of not knowing too many people in this place, and it was a whole two more years before they finally came back to stay. She still wasn't sure why Ed and Rose had gone back to Central, but she supposed they'd share that when the time came. In either case, she was still embarrassed for the misunderstanding she'd had on that day.

It wasn't Ed's baby. She knew that now, but neither would talk much on who the father actually was, which made her feel like there was something going on that they weren't sharing with her. That, alone, was a source of frustration, as she didn't like Ed keeping secrets from her. But the one time she pressured Rose to talk about it, Rose started to cry, and Winry came off feeling like a jerk. She had decided it best to leave Rose alone about it after that. Clearly there was some emotional trouble there, and she didn't need anyone forcing her to go through it again.

Winry sighed. Her anger was beginning to fade now, as she thought over poor Rose. She still didn't know what to make of her, the mystery girl from the east. She was afraid at first the Ed had brought her out of some romantic devotion, but over the past two years, it didn't seem that way. He'd treated the both of them about the same, really...hadn't he? Well...every now and then, Winry noticed, Ed would seem a bit more open with Rose than he was with her. It didn't bug her, not usually, but sometimes...every now and then, she'd feel this tinge poking itself out.

She wasn't usually the jealous type, or at least, she believed she wasn't. But why hadn't he said goodbye to her? He said goodbye to Rose, so why not her? What did Rose have that she didn't, besides probably-fake pink highlights and a child? Was that what it took to grab Ed's attention, you had to have a little kid with you!

She was getting angry again, she knew it, but dammit...why hadn't that jerk come to say goodbye! It was the least he could have done, and he didn't even do that. Did he just not care? Was that it? Was that why he ignored her? Or was he just a–"OW!"

Winry yelped loud enough to be heard through the door of her bedroom. As she cradled her finger, she reminded herself that it's a bad idea to mix rage and mechanical parts. This wasn't the first time she'd slipped up in a moment of anger, but it definitely left a painful reminded for the future. In her anger, she had let the wrench slip from her hands, and it had clattered down on her left finger. The sharp point at the end of the larger prong had jammed into her left index finger, which was now bleeding.

Winry's eyes narrowed into a menacing glare as she gazed down at the aggressor wrench on the ground. She was angry and she knew it, but she couldn't bring herself to be angry at the wrench. "Stupid jerk," she muttered to herself.

"Yeah," the crimson-haired woman sighed, "he can be a bit of a handful, can't he? Here, let me take a look at that." Before Winry even realized she had company, the mystery woman had taken her left hand within both of hers, taking a close look at the index finger. "Ooh, that had to hurt," she snickered, before opening her mouth and suckling gently on it.

"Hey!" Winry, in a blend of surprise and confusion, yanked her finger back out of the mystery girl's mouth. She cradled the finger in her arm, both to put pressure on the wound and keep it out of the mystery woman's grip. "Do not suck on my fingers. Do I suck on your parts!"

"Do you want to?" the mystery woman grinned, and there was nothing Winry could do to hide the embarrassed blush that crossed her face, though try she did by pressing her right hand over her face. She had walked right into that. There had been a time when Winry might have been surprised by the woman's sudden appearance in her room, but that time had long since passed.

Winry had never been slow. She knew the mystery woman couldn't be a real person, simply because she was too talented at appearing whenever Winry needed someone the most. She had come to associate the woman as a figment of her mind, most likely a manifestation of her own self-confidence, that appeared whenever she was undergoing too much stress. Of course, she realized that having an imaginary friend, or whatever the hell this manifestation was, was certainly not healthy. But at this point, she wasn't sure she cared.

"You're having boy troubles again, aren't you, sweetie?" She always knew what part of Winry's mind had been struck. "Look, I know it's hard right now, but trust me, it will get better. I know it will." Winry could feel the mystery woman's arms snaking around her neck, the woman embracing her the way she'd always wished she had a sister for. "He'll see how special you are. I know it. And if he can't...well, tough noogies for him!"

A laugh escaped Winry's lips. "Tough noogies? THAT is the best you can do?" She felt her chest convulse from the laughter that was struggling to break free.

"What? It's not that bad," the mystery woman pouted.

"Oh, please," Winry chuckled. "Even I can come up with something better than tough noogies!"

"Hey," the pale-skinned woman smirked, "It worked, didn't it? You're laughing."

"Am not!" Winry defended. "I'm just...fuming with heavy breathing!" The red in her face betrayed her, however. The mystery woman was right, she was laughing, and she couldn't help it.

"Sure," she smiled. "Now, I have to go away for a while." The woman's finger poked against Winry's face, to illustrate her words. "Promise you won't rage too much over this while I'm gone?"

Winry snickered. Her illusion was starting to take a life of its own. It was even starting to ditch her like everyone else. Maybe she had to go play anger-management for some other girl. That thought made Winry laugh again, a figment of her imagination was cheating on her. "Yeah, sure," she chuckled. " I'll see you when you get back, I guess. Poof safely, Lust."