Toronto, 1865.

IT'S BEEN ALMOST A YEAR SINCE SHE RAN AWAY WITH KOL. And instead of feeling homesick, she felt like she had found a new home.

Bella had been to many new places now, all far away from New Orleans. But never once did she feel out of place. The whole places she went somehow felt like home to her. It took her a while to finally realize that it was Kol who made her feel that way.

That was really strange, she admitted it. They had only known each other for about a year, and yet she felt like she had known him forever. But everything about him was always like that, extraordinary. Even their relationship felt extremely intense, overwhelming, and magical. She doubted she would ever feel like that with someone else.

"Are you sure you know how to bake?" Bella questioned, frowning. Her hazel eyes continued following his movements with doubt.

"Of course," Kol answered, sounding confident as usual. His gaze shifted from her and the instruction book in the kitchen table. "I've probably never done this before, but I'm always a quick learner."

She had been really interested in baking lately that she started taking baking class. And since she was free today, she decided to put into practice what she had been taught in class. But it wasn't as easy as she thought. Even after a few hours of trying she hadn't managed to bake a single cake properly. And Kol, who witnessed her failures, couldn't pass the opportunity to tease her. That was why she challenged him to give it a try and see if he could do better. And judging by his confused and unsure expression every time he poured the ingredients into the bowl, there was no way that he would do any better than her.

"Can't you just admit that you're also bad at this?" she asked again when she watched him put the dough in the cast iron ranges when he had only stirred it a few times. He didn't even try to make sure if the ingredients already well-blended or not.

He chuckled and shook his head in disbelief. "Darling, the only thing I'm bad at is staying away from you," he exclaimed, eyes looking at her meaningfully. He then sent her a playful wink when she jokingly gave him a skeptical look. "That's a fact, and you know it."

She just responded by rolling her eyes.

After waiting for a bit while, he finally took out the cake from the ranges. Bella quickly covered her mouth with her hand when she saw how bad the result was.

"It sure looks delightful," she commented while trying hard not to laugh.

He narrowed his eyes as he heard the insult behind that comment. Quietly taking a handful of the remaining flour, he walked closer to her and poured it right over her head.

"Kol!" she yelled out in shock as she watched the floor falling from her head.

The corner of his lips curled into a smirk. "Sorry, love, but it was a crime to laugh at a masterpiece."

Annoyed, her hand quickly reached for the nearest remaining egg. "Haven't you heard? It was also a crime to have a big head." She wanted to crack the egg right over his head, but before she could do that, he had caught her hand first and accidently broke the egg when he tried to snatch it from her.

For a moment, Kol stared in disgust at his sticky, smelly hand from the egg. And Bella hurriedly used the chance to break free, ran over to the other side of the kitchen table, then started throwing him with the remaining ingredients she could reach.

With his vampire speed, he actually could catch everything that anyone threw at him. But since the cake ingredients were mostly powder, he knew better than to try to catch it. In the end he just let her continue throwing him without a fight.

"Is that all you've got?" he asked disparagingly when she stopped throwing and started laughing at him.

She shook her head and tried to hold back her laughter. "No, I just need to take a moment to admire the view," she taunted, eyes looking amusedly at him. "Don't worry, I'll start again in a second."

Kol just nodded his head, but a second later, he flashed himself beside her and wrapped his arms around her body, hugging her and getting her dirty in the process.

"Ah!"

"There," he smirked, finally letting go of her. "Now we're even."

At first, she just stared at her dirty self in disbelief, her mouth fell open. But then, she burst into laughter as she realized how silly they had just been. And seeing her laugh somehow made him start laughing too.

That moment was just perfect. It was an instant feeling of rightness. It was comfortable, it was peaceful, it felt great and all they could think about was how happy they were to be there.

"Let's stay like this forever," he suddenly proposed, his lips curved into a faint smile.

She giggled and joked, "You mean covered by flour, butter and egg?"

"I mean stay together," he corrected, still smiling. His gaze turned more serious. "I've been lived for a really long time, but I can't think of any other time when I feel this happy... and that's all because of you."

She couldn't help but feel drawn to his eyes after hearing his confession. "I haven't lived for a long time, but I don't think I would ever get this much happiness from someone else."

It felt like there was a magnet between them as their faces naturally moved closer. But before their lips could crash, an old lady came into the room and made Bella rush away from Kol.

"Oh, dear, am I interrupting something?" the old lady asked, looking apologetic.

"Yes!"

"No."

They answered at the same time.

She sent him a brief glare out the corner of her eye before turning to the old lady. "Please don't mind him, Mrs. Sullivan," she apologized. "We were just baking."

After they became official, Kol no longer liked the idea of staying in a lodging house, even if it was only temporarily. He didn't feel free to spend time with her because the other people who lived there kept giving them judging looks whenever they got too close and it made Bella feel really uncomfortable. That was why he decided to change their traveling method. Every time they moved to other places, he would pick someone who lived alone in a nice house and compelled them to let him and Bella stay in their house and pretended to be their relatives. At first, she didn't really like the idea. But since he had promised he wouldn't hurt them (and surprisingly so far he had kept his word) she started thinking it wasn't such a bad idea.

The Mikaelson boy suddenly appeared in front of the old lady. "And you will clean this up," he ordered, his pupil dilated when he stared at her eyes. He then sent Bella another wink before disappearing into his room to clean himself up.

Bella just shook her head in disbelief. She wanted to help Mrs. Sullivan to clean up the mess, since it was partly her fault, but the woman just wouldn't let her. She finally gave up and went to her own room to change and clean herself up.

By the time she finished cleaning up, it was nearly 3:45 in the afternoon. She still had fifteen minutes before she had to meet up with her friend so they could go visit their teacher who had been absent from their baking class for the past few days. She decided to use her time to check the kitchen first, to see if Mrs. Sullivan was still there and needed help. But everything was already clean. Instead of Mrs. Sullivan, it was Kol who was there. He had changed and was clean again. He was pouring himself a drink at the moment.

Slowly walking towards him, she frowned when she remembered something. "Didn't you say you have a three o'clock appointment with a witch friend?"

"I did," he answered casually and took a sip from his glass. "But I thought being fashionably late for once wouldn't hurt." He then raised his glass to her and offered, "Want some?"

She just shook her head. No one would scold her for underage drinking. Not her parents, not her uncle and aunt, and not even her older brothers since none of them were there. But that didn't mean she wouldn't feel bad to herself if she did that. She was only sixteen after all.

"I won't judge," he said again, then took another sip. There was a faint grin on his face.

"Maybe not, but you definitely wouldn't miss the chance to tease me," she guessed accurately.

He chuckled. "It's not my fault that you're too fun to tease."

How else should she respond to that other than by rolling her eyes? She was the one who was being teased, and she was also the one to blame.

"Where are you going?" he quickly asked when she started walking away.

She stopped walking. Turning back to face him, she answered, "I promised Ava we will go visit Mrs. Duncan at four." She then gave him a sarcastic look when she added, "And I don't really like being fashionably late... unlike someone."

He just shook his head and poured himself another drink with an amused smile plastered on his face.

Bella was actually supposed to bring some cake for the visit, but since she failed to make one, she decided to just buy it. From what they heard, their teacher had just lost her husband to a deadly illness. And since they only knew about the woman's love for cakes, they decided to bring her some in order to cheer her up.

"Mrs. Duncan?" they called her in turn when they arrived in her house, hands knocking her front door. But until a few minutes later, there was no answer.

And suddenly, they were startled by a loud bang from inside the house, as if a heavy object had just fallen. Bella reflexively tried to open the door, which turned out to be unlocked. They hurriedly rushed inside while shouting their teacher's name.

And there the teacher was, in the living room, with her body floating in the air and a rope wrapped around her neck. A chair rolled sideways just below her body, possibly the source of the sound they had heard.

"Mrs. Duncan!"

They quickly ran towards her when she started choking and gasping for air. Meanwhile Bella tried to hold the woman's body up so she would stop choking, Ava went to straighten up the chair underneath. Slowly, they put her feet back on the chair. And after that, Bella climbed into the chair to untie the rope around her neck so they could put her down.

The woman couldn't stop sobbing after they put her down. Meanwhile Ava went to the kitchen to make her some tea, Bella stayed with her and tried to calm her down. At this point, Bella had no idea what to say to her so she just kept rubbing her shoulder in a soothing gesture.

After a while, Ava finally came back with a cup of tea in her hand. "Here, drink this," the brunette girl said, handing the cup to the teacher.

Between her sobbing, Mrs. Duncan took the cup and looked up at Ava and Bella in turn. "I am so sorry you kids have to see that," she apologized, her voice trembled.

"What were you thinking?" Ava spat out, forgetting about manners for a moment. "How can you tried to end your own life like that?!"

"Ava," Bella called out in a warning tone.

Mrs. Duncan took a sip from the cup and stared blankly at the floor. "I lost my Benjamin," she sobbed, tears started rolling down again to her cheeks. "I thought I could go on without him... but I can't."

"Yes, you can!" Ava snapped again. "He would have wanted you to."

Bella quickly shot the brunette another warning look. Even though what she said was true, she shouldn't have said it like that, especially not now. They should be more sensitive to their teacher's feelings. The woman was grieving the loss of her loved one. Bella might have lost her loved ones too, she understood that everyone grieved in different ways. It was really unfair to judge her like that.

"He wasn't only my husband, he was also my soulmate," the teacher suddenly mumbled, eyes wandering far ahead. "To watch your soulmate die, just meters from you, and then run and scream for help when he could no longer hear, you'll carry that, for the rest of your life." She was choking back tears as she continued, "And the pain... to say it was unbearable is an understatement. It feels like all the strings inside you are breaking, like you aren't sure anymore who you are and where are you going from now on, as if a part of your soul was torn out. It feels like the end of the world... and I don't know if I can keep living like that."

Every single word that Mrs. Duncan said about losing a soulmate had stuck in Bella's head even after she got home. She somehow couldn't stop thinking about it, about Kol.

To be completely honest, she wasn't sure if he was her soulmate since she knew nothing about soulmates. But she knew she was deeply in love with him, and he was in love with her too. She couldn't imagine what live would be like without him, and it seemed like he couldn't too. Then she suddenly remembered that just this afternoon, he asked her to stay together forever. And it hit her right away.

He was immortal and she was mortal. Their forever weren't the same. Her forever wasn't even half of his forever. One day she would die, whether from age, disease, or even an accident. And when that happened, how would he take it?

He once told her about the heightened emotions he had as a vampire. He said that vampires experienced emotions more powerfully than humans. Emotions like love, joy, and happiness were magnified for vampires, allowing them to live life more intensely. Conversely, sadness, depression, guilt, fear and anger were also amplified for them.

And if that was the case, didn't that mean he would be in an even worse pain than Mrs. Duncan had described when he watched her die later? And not to mention, he had to carry it for the rest of his live, which was too long to be counted since he was immortal.

She sighed in frustration. She really didn't want to cause him a great deal of pain for an eternity, but what could she do to prevent it? She was just human after all.

An idea suddenly popped into her head.

Before they met, they were fine living their live without each other, all because they were used to it. And now that they have gotten used to each other, it felt really hard to be away from each other. If she could get him used to living without her, he probably wouldn't feel that much pain when he really had to lose her later. The question was, could she really do it? Because in order to do that, she would slowly lose him too.

More than anything, she didn't want to lose him. She loved him with all her heart. But when it came to him or herself getting hurt, of course she would choose to take all the pain for herself.

Too deep in thought, she didn't even notice that Kol had just entered her room. She only realized it when he wrapped his arms around her body from behind and whispered, "Sorry I missed dinner."

She turned her face to look at him and forced a smile. "Hi," she greeted, trying to sound cheerful. "How was the meeting?"

"Boring... since you weren't there," he answered, putting up a flat face. "How about your visit?"

"It was..." she trailed off as she couldn't find the right words to describe it.

An imaginary frown creased on Kol's forehead when he realized that something was bothering her. "What's wrong?"

She gulped as her eyes immediately found his brown eyes. Should she do it now? She felt like she needed more times to think things over. But if she kept putting it off, there was a high chance that it would become even more difficult than it already were.

He was forced to let go of her as she turned her body to face him. Biting her lower lip, she finally muttered, "I think we need to talk."

"About what?" he questioned, frowning.

She didn't answer right away. And when she opened her mouth, no word came out from it. She kept having the doubt again. There was no turning back. If she said that now, she couldn't take it back again.

"Darling, you're scaring me," he said again, starting to sound worried.

Without even realizing, a single tear fell down her cheek. He swiftly wiped it off with his finger and asked, "Did someone hurt you?" His jaw then tightened. "Bella, you have to tell if someone was hurting you. I wouldn't let that bastard—"

"That's not it," she quickly interjected as she finally found her voice again.

"Then what is it?"

After taking a deep breath, she finally spoke, "I'm so grateful for everything you did for me, for all the loves you gave me." Her eyes became teary, and her voice began to tremble. "It means a lot to me, you mean so much to me," she emphasized every word.

"And you mean everything to me," he replied, sounding serious.

Bella looked down for a moment. His response didn't make it any easier at all. She tried to hold back her tears when she looked up to him again. "But, Kol, you're an immortal. And I'm a mortal." With great reluctance, she finally uttered, "I don't think we were meant to be together."

"Wait... are you trying to say you want to leave me?" The worry and confusion on his face was immediately replaced by a mix of disbelief, anger, and hurt.

"I am really sorry if this isn't the way you wanted things to be, but—"

"I don't want to hear any of this."

"Kol!"

And before she could hold him back, he had disappeared out of the room.

He wasn't in his own room when she checked. In fact, he wasn't anywhere in the house. She waited and waited for him to come home in the living room, but he didn't show up, not even when it was already midnight.

She decided to just go to sleep, hoping he would show up in the morning so she could apologize and explain things further. And if he didn't, she would try to go look for him, and she would keep looking for him until she found him.

But only a few minutes after she laid herself on the bed and closed her eyes, she felt someone sitting on the side of the bed next to her. When she opened her eyes again, she found Kol there, staring at her with a gaze that was hard to decipher.

She hurriedly sat up. She immediately could smell the alcohol on his breath, explaining where he had gone earlier. She couldn't help but feel really guilty to him. "Hei," she mumbled, her voice sounded like a whisper.

"I don't like how we left things off," he stated in his serious tone.

"Me too."

For a moment, there was only a painful silence between them. Both of them were lost in their own thoughts.

"I've been thinking about what you said earlier..." Kol was the first one to spoke again, "and I think I just found the solution."

"You do?" she quickly asked, frowning.

Kol suddenly pulled out his fangs and bit his own palm. And before Bella could react at that, he had put his bleeding palm against her mouth and his other hand on the back of her head, forcing her to drink his blood. Her eyes widened. She tried to push his hands away from her mouth, but he was too strong.

"Love, I'm really sorry about what I'm about to do," he suddenly apologized. And a second later, he reluctantly snapped her neck, leaving her dead.

RISING FROM THE DEAD WAS DEFINITELY not something she thought she would ever experience. It felt more than just awful since now she had to remember how it was like to die, how it felt like when someone broke her neck. And above all, the most painful thing she had to endure was the fact that Kol was the one who did that to her.

"What have you done?" She started sobbing as she looked up at him who was still in the same place as before. Only then did she notice someone else in the room. Mrs. Sullivan, the real owner of the house, was standing right beside them, her eyes blank.

"Darling, I am really sorry," he apologized for the second time, his eyes looking as hurt as hers. "But it's not finished yet."

She hurriedly inched back when he tried to touch her. "Don't touch me!"

Kol swallowed hard and smiled bitterly at the response he had just received. He knew he deserved it, but there was more important thing he needed to do right now. "I need you to do one more thing."

"Just leave me alone!"

"Bella..."

"Please!"

He actually wanted to give her some space since it looked like she really needed it, but he needed to make sure everything has completed first. Grabbing her head with both of his hands, he forced her to look at him. His pupil dilated as he ordered, "You will feed from her and finish the transition."

After he let go of her head, she started moving closer to Mrs. Sullivan, eyes staring blankly. And when she was right in front of the old lady, the sclera of her eyes started to turn blood-red, dark veins appeared under her eyes as the blood pumped forcefully through them, and her canine teeth extended into razor-sharp fangs. Without any hesitation, she dug her fangs into the old lady's neck, sucking out her blood.

There was no screaming or resistance at all, as if the woman had been told so. Bella didn't know how to stop, he didn't tell her when to stop. And the worst part was that she was enjoying every single drop of her blood so much that she didn't think she would want to stop even if he told her to.

He suddenly appeared behind her and whispered, "Everything will be okay. You will be okay."

An hour later, the sun finally rose and Kol left to take care of Mrs. Sullivan's lifeless body. Bella couldn't hold back her tears anymore when she realized what she had just done. The guilt hit her really hard, and so did the pain.

How could he did this to her? She might never have problem with him as a vampire, but that didn't mean she wanted to become one. And he didn't even bother to ask her opinion about it. He just did it as if it was his life and not hers.

She kept sobbing and sobbing loudly, sometimes hitting her own chest in hope the pain in her heart would lessen. But it didn't. Instead it just kept getting worse. She had never felt that much pain in her life. And now how she was supposed to get rid of it?

When she heard him finally come back, she quickly stopped crying and wiped away her tears. She couldn't imagine what he would do if he saw her like this. What if he compelled the way she felt about this? She probably hated the feelings, but that didn't mean she would want him to manipulate it.

The first thing he did when he saw her was to take her hand and put a bracelet there. "Here you go," he exclaimed, smiling. "Now we can walk on sunshine together anymore."

She forced a smile to him, then turned to look at the bracelet. Kol once told her that he couldn't walk in the sun without the ring his mother made him after he turned. He called it the daylight ring, so she guessed this was her daylight bracelet.

"How are you feeling?" he finally asked, looking at her attentively.

She just simply answered, "Strange."

"Like electricity coursing through your body?" he guessed accurately. "Or a million stars exploding in your mind all at once?"

"Yeah, like that."

"It's quite an amazing feeling, don't you think?"

She just shrugged and looked down as she couldn't decide it for herself.

He cupped her face in his hands and looked straight into her eyes as he assured her, "You don't have anything to worry about, love. Nothing can ever come between us."

But Kol just didn't know how wrong he was. Because at the end of the day, when he already fell asleep, she was ready to leave him.

After writing him a simple note and placing it on the bed next to him, she shot another glance at him. She tried to memorize every single lines and curves of his perfect facial features, because she knew it might be the last time she would see him.

.

.

.

I'm sorry, but I don't think I can ever forgive what you did to me.

—Bella

a/n:

This is the last chapter of their flashback! What do you think about their break up? Who did the wrong the most, Bella or Kol? And do you think he deserves her forgiveness? Please let me know your opinion!