(A/N: Hicha! Lady Hiran Here! Without further adieum here's the Recap!)
Zzz...Zzzzz...zzz...
Ch-Chie...? (taps on shoulder) W-Wake up, p-please.
Zzz-nuh-huh-whah?
I-It's m-m-my turn t-to do th-theRecap. Y-You c-c-can go b-back to Th-The Authoress's mind n-n-now.
M'kay. Bye all (waves).
H-hello e-everyone. I-I am K-K-Kodoku-Hiran. He-Here with th-the R-recap.
Th-the U-Uzumaki T-twins returned everyone t-to their p-p-proper time an-and had g-gotten Inari-zushi (the favorite treat of fox spirits) f-for everyone.
Hi-Hinata inquires w-why their ch-chakra is s-so unusual o-only t-t-to have Hotaru b-burst into g-giggles from her st-stow away f-fox kit T-Tanpopo's tickling.
Th-the l-little f-f-fox gets away fr-fr-from her and Hotaru is attacked b-by G-G-Gaara (under the mistaken impression that she was attacking first).
Ha-Hajime and N-Naruto prepare to attack when Hotaru st-stops them.
J-J-Jiraiya,the P-P-PervertHermit,appears on th-the scene (in usual lecherous fashion) as d-d-does Ts-Tsunade, Th-The Reluctant F-F-Fifth Hokage.
A-After asm-small case of m-m-mistaken identity (Tsunade mixed up Hotaru and Hajime; understandable seeing as they have the same face: HA HA! HAJIME'S A GIRLY MAHN!) th-they enter Tsunade's ch-chambers to finally get s-someanswers out of th-the twins.
Th-the th-that's th-th-th-the R-R-Recap. I h-hope I lived up to y-your expectations.
Thank you (bows).
"Alright you two." Tsunade said, hands folded in front of her, elbows propped up on her desk, "Start talking. How is it you're related to Naruto?"
Hotaru jutted out her chin stubbornly before sticking out her tongue, "BLEH! I'm not tellin' you nuthin', Lady!" Hotrau stuck her nose in the air and looked away, "I happen to LIKE existing, thank you very much!"
"Whaddya mean by that?" Iruka cried.
Hajime gave the twenty-something man a truly belittling look, "If we give you th' story of our family tree…you'll try an' interFERE!" he ended in a shout, causing Iruka to stumble back, "That's what you adult DO! Ass."
"Psh! Shyeah!" Hotaru snorted, "We're teenagers! Not dumbasses! We know how these things work!"
Hotaru pointed her index finger at the Hokage, Ero-sennin and Jounin, "I ain't tellin' you JACK until you give me your oath as Shinobi that what we say in this room, stays in this room!" she cried, eyes flashing, "You keep it to yourselves and never speak of it again OORRR interfere with thing that could jeopardize our existence no matter HOW MUCH it pisses you off!"
The Shinobi and Kunoichi-Hokage looked as thought they were stabbed.
"She's got us!"
"Fuh-fine!" Tsunade snarled, a angry-defeated look on her face, "You have our word."
Hotaru grinned in victory and switched the knappack off her back and onto Tsunade's desk.
Hotaru flicked open the rucksack and began digging through it the upper half of her body seeming to disappear.
"Oh c'mon!" she growled from the depths of the backsack, "Where is it? Where IS it? AH HA!"
She grunted as she pushed her self back out of the backpack (with a degree of difficulty involved) and re-emerged with her face flushed and brow beaded with sweat.
A handful of scrolls were in her hand; relatively new.
Hotaru sat down, next to Hajime, who took one look at the scrolls and got to his feet, muttering, "This is your thing. I don't really care." as he walked out of the room.
Hotaru unrolled the first scroll (after smacking Hajime on the back of the head with it).
"Okay!" Hotaru said, pointing at the top of the scroll with her index finger, "This is where the Uzumaki family begins! With Uzumaki Yondaime! The Fourth Hokage!"
She moved down one.
"Then, there's Grandpa! Uzumaki Naruto! The jinchuriki the kyuubi was sealed into." Hotaru sighed, "That Yondaime…sealing a demon into his only son…that musta really hurt."
Tsunade noticed she looked a little sad.
"Anyhoo, Naruto and Hyuuga Hinata get together because Hina-chan finally gets some guts and tell him how she feels!" Hotaru continued, a huge smile on her face.
"What?" Jiraiya balked, trying not to laugh, "Hinata? Hotaru? I'm sorry for not believing you but-"
"HINATA CAN AND WILL DO IT!" Hotaru snarled (hellfire in the background).
Jiraiya ducked down behind Tsunade's legs, looking fondly at the Fifth Hokage's ass.
-SMAK-
"Try again, Ultra Perv." The Kunoichi Hokage growled after leaving a perfect handprint on Jiraiya's face.
The Ero-sennin then took refuge behind Iruka and Kakashi.
"Anyways!" Hotaru continued, as Kakashi and Iruka shot exasperated looks at the Legendary Sanin cowering behind them, "Naru-bozu and Hina-chan have three boys; Wataru, Rikuo, and Jin, who married the daughters of the Uchiha, Sabaku and Aburame clans."
-KLUNG- (sound of four jaws simultaneously dropping)
"Could…could you repeat that?" Kakashi asked, his eyes wide in disbelief.
"Huh? Uh-sure!" Hotaru said, looking back at the chart, "The sons of Naruto and Hinata married the daughters of Uchiha Sasuke…Sabaku no Gaara…and Aburame Shino. Their wives were, in this order, Haruno Sakura, Ami (I forget which episode she shows up in)and Tsuchi Kin."
Hotaru continued, ignoring the jaws hanging open, awaiting flies.
"Anyways, I figure that Yondaime assumed that when Naruto died that the Kyuubi would die with him; same goes for Gaara. That wasn't the case."
She pointed another section of the family tree; to a pair of names: Uzumaki Kakei and Uzumaki Takaomi.
"After Naru-pyon and Gaara-san died, the Kyuubi and Shukaku merely found new hosts within the Uzumaki family." Hotaru said, eyes serious, "That's how it's been ever since. The demons, with their incredible will's to live, have continued to move from host to host with the Uzumaki family."
-chrpchrpchrp-
Hotaru noted that several flies had taken up residence in the Hokage's mouth.
Hotaru began suspecting that her words were falling on deaf ears and pulled a Sharpie out of her pack and began doodling on their faces.
Hajime pulled a stick of gum out his pocket and began to chew, not knowing how long his twin was going to take.
He had been enjoying getting himself lost for past ump-teen minutes. He had been getting a little creeped out by the way that freak, what's-his-name, had kept looking at him.
All he really knew about the guy was that he could have easily have stood in for Michael Jackson; he was just that creepy.
"Why…hello again." A voice said in front of him.
"WAK!" Hajime cried, swallowing his gum.
It was Mr. Michael-Jackson-Wannabe! In all his creepified glory!
"Huh-hullo…" Hajime said weakly, forcing a smile.
"Yeah. Hiya Mr. Jackson! Ya boy rapin' pedophile, you!" Hajime thought worriedly, sweat dripping down the back of his neck.
"Fancy meeting you here." The Michael Jackson Impersonator said, stretching his already over tight face into a smile.
"Y-yeah! Fancy that!" Hajime said in an overly bright voice.
"Fancy that my ass! You were stalkin' me, ya sex offender in th' making!" Hajime thought in a panic.
"Hajime, was it?" the overly tall Michael Jackson Mimic asked, coming closer.
"Yuh-gulp-huh." Hajime whimpered; he was backed into a wall.
"No where to GO-OO!" His mind screamed, "GOD? You owe me BIG for all the shit you've tossed my way! Ya offed my parents! Made me AND my sister play landlords to freakin' demons! You owe me a miracle! NOW!"
-BA-KOOOOOMMMMMMM-
"EVERYBODY RUN!"
"IT'S THE AKATSUKI!"
"Shit!" Orochimaru (AKA Michael Jackson) hissed before dashing off.
Hajime blinked once…twice…three times.
"Thanks!" He said sheepishly to whatever deitity had sent the terrorist faction his way.
"Akatsuki huh? Wonder if they're strong?" He wondered his entire body tingling at the prospect of a good fight, "Oh I hope they are. They better be. I've been itchin' for a good fight all day!"
"Tsunade-sama! It's the Aka-whu-huh?"
"Hm?"
Hotaru looked up at the Chunin who had just burst into the hall, pen still poised over Iruka's face.
"Wh-WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?" The Chunin in question cried.
"Oh, they went into shock when I started to tell them about my family tree!" Hotaru said with a smile (bunny ears), popping the cap back on her Sharpie and hopping off Tsunade's desk.
A thick black marker mustache graced Tsunade's face as well as a pair of thick, Gai-like eyebrows and a goatee.
Kakashi had a black circle drawn around his good eye with thick eyelashes; kitsune whiskers streaked his cheeks.
Iruka had a squiggly line drawn about his face and one eye X-ed out; several lines had been drawn through his lips.
Jiraiya's face looked like an overused tic-tac-toe board; X-s and O-s everywhere.
"What's up?" Hotaru asked the still gaping Chunin, preparing to pop the top of her Sharpie again if she didn't get an answer real soon.
"Th-The Akatsuki are attacking!" the Chunin sputtered.
"Akatsuki?" Hotaru asked, eyes glittering with a strange light, "Are they strong?"
"Strong? STRONG? THEY'RE INVINCIBLE!" The Chunin shouted.
Hotaru practically glowed with happiness at those words.
"ARE YOU SERIOUS!" She squealed, glomping the chunin by the wrist, "WHADD'RE WE WAITIN' FOR? LETS GO!"
"WHOA!" The Chunin cried as she dragged him down the hall.
The Akatsuki strode through the stadium, killing innocent by standards as they went.
"Now then…where are they?" Uchiha Itachi drawled, "I know the jinchuriki are here somewhere. The holders of Shukaku…and the Kyuubi…The ultimate additions to our collection."
"Oh WOW! They ARE strong!" a female voice cried excitedly, "I can feel their chakra from all the way backHERE!"
"I can't WAIT ta figth'em!" another voice; male this time, whooped, "It's been so long since I've had a good brawl!"
A pair of swift blonde blurs shot down from the balcony and landed in front of the Akatsuki.
"Iiiiiits PARTY TIME!" the blond twins shouted.
(A/N: Naruto and the Gang, not knowing the twins powerful family tree, watch in horror as they make short work of the Akatsuki and...huhn? HEY! Since WHEN has Hotaru had SIX ARMS! AND YOU'RE GONNA HAVE WHAT HAPPEN NEXT CHAPPIE? Ah HELL NO! R&R.)