(A/N: Hiya! Lady Hiran here! My recap people are still sick ((sigh)) but should be well soon! I'm thinkin' I might bring in Haku and Zabusa ((e'en tho' they're dead)) butI want to know what you all think? Should I? Shouldn't I? Hmmm...Oh well! Send me your input on this and for now, onward and upward peeps!)
"BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Hotaru wailed, "MUH-MUH-MY FUH-FUH-FUH-FUH-FIRST KUH-KISS! GONE! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!"
"C'mon Hotaru." Hajime grumbled outside the door of bathroom stall his identical (visually) yet opposite (gender wise) twin was currently bawling in.
It was really was starting to grate on his nerves; he wanted his cheerful, genki, violent, irascible sibling back so they could go home. It wasn't that he didn't care, he just didn't see what the big deal was.
"'taint that bad." he muttered.
"HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?"
Hajime jumped about twenty feet in the air as the entire female population of Konohagakure mysteriously appeared behind him.
"A girl's first kiss is something sacred!" Yuhi said wagging her finger at him, "Something she always remembers."
"A first kiss is something special…something that should only be shared with the one you truly loved." Sakura and Ino sighed dreamily (shoujo hearts and sparkles).
"IT CAN'T BE WITH JUST ANYONE!" Ten Ten cried, clenching her fist so tightly her knuckles turned white (impassioned flames in the background).
"What Kakashi did, while accidental, is completely unforgivable." Hinata huffed, so angry she didn't stutter.
"Uh, Uh, Uh!" Hajime was backed against a wall now, quite fearful for his physical being.
"You'll help her seek revenge, WON'T YOU?" They snarled, their eyes gleaming with an angry glow, "As her brother, your OBLIGATED to! You WILL help!"
"HEEEEP!" Hajime squeaked, cowering to the ground.
"Then it's SETTLED! You WILL help her seek vengeance!" They growled, stomping out of the bathroom.
Hajime sat on the floor, quivering.
"Muh-man…Why do they always hafta travel and think in packs?" he wondered, ears perking up as a stall door opened and Hotaru walked out sniffling, wiping her eyes.
"H-hey…ready t'go?" he asked.
She nodded, "I wanna say g'bye…t' Grampa first." She said, her voice cracking from dehydration.
"Kay. when we get home, first thing on the list is pumping you fulla water." Hajime chuckled, ruffling her hair.
"…dummy. I'll just start cryin' again." Hotaru said, looking up at him with red-rimmed, tear-clogged eyes, laughing dryly.
The two exited the restroom.
Naruto twitched when he saw the two walking down the hall, Hajime with a comforting arm around his sibling.
"H-hey." He murmured, "Ya leavin?"
"Mm." Hotaru nodded, "We'll visit again soon tho'."
"Yeah. We don't wanna chance running into…" Hajime bent down and whispered softly, "You-know-who."
"Ohhh." Naruto said, with an acknowledging nod.
"'m not deaf, dumbass." Hotaru growled.
"HEEP!" Hajime yelped as Hotaru's eyes narrowed coldly at him.
"…let's just go, okay?" she sighed, raking her fingers back through her hair.
"Hallright. Sheesh! Sorrrrrry!" Hajime griped.
"Naru-bozu, I couldn't find Popotan…keep an' eye out for him, wouldja?" Hotaru asked, reaching for her brother's hand.
"Can do." Naruto nodded, saluting her in a playful fashion.
"GET BACK HERE YA DAMN FURBALL!" Kankuro roared.
"KANKURO! IT'S JUST A-! I'M SURE IT DIDN'T MEAN T-!" Temari cried, trying to reason with her brother.
"KNOCK. IT. Off" Gaara snarled running after both of them, "I'll just kill the damn thing."
"All of you knock it off!" Kakashi and Jiraiya snapped, right on their heels.
"THAT'S RIGHT!" Lee and Gai proclaimed, sprinting after the group, "It is but a mere sprig of a creature in the pinnacle of youth!"
"Get…away…from me." Shino growled, (right behind Tanpopo; heh heh!) dashing away from the mob.
"GUYS WATCH OUT!" Naruto cried as the whole party crashed into The Uzumaki twins the split second their hands locked.
-FWASH-
-fyuuuu…-
-uuuuuuu…-
-BA-KOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!-
"AH GODAMMIT THAT HURTS!"
"GET OFFA ME YA RETARD!"
"…"
"That was painful."
"OFF! OFF! OFF!"
"AAIIIIIIIEEE! YOU PERVERT!" -SMAK-
"OUCH! Now that was uncalled for!"
"MASTER GAI! ARE YOU ALRIGHT?"
"NEVER BETTER! AND WHAT OF MY ETERNAL RIVAL KAKASH…shi."
There was a stunned silence as everyone took in the sight of Kakashi and Hotaru…liplocked again
.
The bloodlust Hotaru radiated was so strong, that Gaara felt a twinge of fear shoot up his spine.
Kakashi crab-walked away from her, into a wall and Hotaru rose to her feet in a slow, zombie-like progression, disheveled hair falling into her face, shadowing her eyes (a lot like Sadako offa Ringu…brrr).
"Oh…whaddya know…we're home…hee hee hee…home…where the complete works of the Encyclopedia Britannica…A through Z is…hee hee hee…" Hotaru laughed the bloodlust roiling around her.
Hotaru just happened to be standing RIGHT IN FRONT of the bookcase where said encyclopedia's were housed; Hajime and the others felt very sorry for the silver-haired jounin.
"Oh Kakaaaaaaaaashi…" Hotaru said in a singsong voice, not lifting her head.
"Y-yeas ma'am?" he squeaked.
-FRAKWHAKTHAKBAKWOKTHOKBOKTHRAKBRAKKROKKA-KRAKFRAKWHAKTHAKBAKWOKTHOKBOKTHRAKBRAKKROKKA-KRAKFRAKWHAKTHAKBAKWOKTHOKBOKTHRAKBRAKKROKKA-KRAK-
Kakashie was now very bloodied, bruised and swollen(not to mentionnot visible), buried benenaththe mountain of reference books.
"Secret Technique: Beatcha-With-A-Book-Corner; Type Two! Encyclopedia-Tempest!" Hotaru snarled…before her face crumbled and she burst into tears again
"TWO!" she sobbed, "TH-TH-THAT MAKES TWO YOU'VE STOLEN! I HATE YOU! I WISH YOU WOULD FIND A HOLE TO CRAWL INTO AND DIE! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
She darted up the stairs and into her room, slamming and locking the door behind her before collapsing on the floor and crying hysterically.
"Drama queen." Temari sniffed, making herself comfortable on the couch.
Fifteen minutes later…dead silence.
"Sounds like she cried herself out." Hajime mused, digging around through the utility drawer before finding what he was looking for; a paper clip.
He grabbeda glass of water and a slip of paperoff the counter and headed for the stairs.
"Where you headed, comrade?" Jiraiya asked, waggling his eyebrows, "Not planning on doing something illicit to your poor sister are w-"
-FA-KAM-
The kick delivered to Jiraiya's jaw sent him flying across the room.
"Owwie!" he whined.
"If you ever suggest…anything so sick again…" Hajime growled, "…I'll take great pleasure in killing you."
He stormed up the stairs.
"Touchy! Touchy!" Jiraiya tsk-ed, "What's got his panties in a bunch?"
"Isn't it obvious?" Naruto asked, "They're orphans. She's…she's all he's got."
Jiraiya's eyes widened, then he scratched the back of his head sheepishly, "Well then…I really DID hit a sore spot, huh? Don't you agree, Kakashi? Kakashi?"
"My eternal rival went missing over an hour ago, Ero-sennin!" Gai offered.
"Where dya suppose he could've gone?" Lee wondered.
"Why should we care?" Kankuro snorted, flipping through the T.V. (having finally gotten a handle on the remote).
Hajime quickly picked the lock on his sister's door (it's one of those flimsy ones ya get on your bathroom door in development housing).
He entered, finding her asleep in the middle of the floor, cheeks raw and red from crying.
"Tch. Typical Hi-chan." He muttered, setting the glass down on her bedside table and hefting her up by the waist into her bed.
He pulled the covers up around her chin, "Be better when ya wake up, sis." He growled, exiting the room.
Tanpopo, who had taken refuge under the bed, slunk out and hopped up on top of the covers next to Hotaru.
In her sleep, Hotaru absently stroked the fox kit's head, not waking fully.
Hotaru awoke slightly.
"Hey Popotan." She croaked, "Ulgh…my throat hurts."
She glanced over at the bedside table and smiled.
The note Hajime had left next to the water read: DRINK ALL OF THIS OR I WON'T HESITATE TO SHOVE THIS GLASS DOWN YOUR THROAT!- Hajime :)
"Tch…typical Ha-chan." She murmured, gulping the entire glass down.
She sat up, Tanpopo, crawling into her lap.
Hotaru sighed, "God this sucks. Only one thing will cheer me up at a time like this and I don't have access to it. So…option two."
She opened her window, removed the screen, and climbed out onto a nearby tree limb. Using her gymnastics training, she swung herself gracefully up to a much higher limb, walked easily across it, and onto the roof.
Hotaru sighed, looking out at the view of the mountains, "I never get tired of it. It always cheers me up."
"It does huh?"
Hotaru whipped her head towards the source of the sound and let loose a growl.
Hatake Kakashi sat on the opposite end of the roof.
"What…are you…doing here?" Hotaru snarled.
Kakashi, of all people, impinging on HER SECRET SPOT!
"Thinking." Kakashi shrugged, "Is that a crime?"
"Depends on what you're thinking OF!" Hotaru snapped.
"Point taken." Kakashi nodded, "However, I thought that it was only a crime if acted out on my thoughts."
"Damn it." Hotaru grumbled, roughly raking her fingers back through her hair, "You've got me there."
Kakashi smirked beneath his mask, "Of course. As a Shinobi, did you really think I wouldn't know the law and it's loopholes?"
"J-just shut up." Hotaru growled, reddening out of anger.
Hotaru stood up, sighing loudly, "Look, just…if your gonna do your thinking, could you do it someplace else? This is MY spot. It always has been. Even before our parents died, this has been my secret place."
"So…Hajime doesn't-?"
"He does." Hotaru said shortly, "But he knows to keep his distance. He has his space…I have mine…we don't encroach on them."
Hajime paced back and forth, muttering under his breath
"What?" he mumbled to himself, "What is the fastest way to get Hi-chan to cheer uh-OF COURSE! DUH!" he shouted, slapping himself in the forehead, "CAN YOU SAY DUMBASS?"
Naruto, Gai, Lee, Jiraya, Temari, Kankuro and Gaara jumped at the sudden noise and turned to watch as Hajime darted down the basement stairs.
"What's gotten into him?" Gaara asked, amusement leaking into his voice.
"Maybe a parasitic worm?" Shino ventured.
"I doubt that." Gai chortled heartily.
"Well whatever's gotten into him, it's got him moving reeeeeally fast." Naruto said.
Hajime dashed up the stairs, three giagantic boxes in his arms and barged out the front door.
"Now what's he up to?" Kankuro sighed.
"Only way ta find out is to watch." Temari remarked.
"OI! HIIIIII-CHAN!" A male voice hollered from bellow.
"Now what?" Hotaru groaned, scotching over to the edge and leaning over slightly.
"What IS IT Hajime?" she cried exasperatedly.
"Look what IIIIIIII've got." He said in a singsong voice, removing a small, red box from within the bowels of the first.
Hotaru's eyes widened and sparkled with glee.
"POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCKYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" She shrieked, doing her patented, "Uber-Happy-Genki-Pocky-Funtime-Dance", "POCKY! POCKY! POOOOOOOCKYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"
Kakashi blinked at her, "Um…what's Pocky?"
Hotaru gasped in shock, "WHAT? BLASPHEMY! HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT YOU HAVE NEVER DINED ON THE SWEET, CRUNCHY, CHOCOCLATE-COATED-COOKIE-GOODNESS-THAT-IS-POCKY!"
She jabbed a finger at him (keeping her distance, mind you), "I HEREBY JUDGE YOU GUILTY OF NEVER HAVING TASTED THE GLORY THAT IS POCKY!" She shouted, "AND HEREBY SENTENCE YOU…TO DANCE AROUND THE LIVING ROOM IN A PRETTY DRESS!"
Kakashi's jaw dropped, "WHAT?"
Hotaru charged, tackling him around the waist in football player fashion, sending both flying from the roof.
"CRAAAAPPP!" Kakashi shouted.
"This ain't good." Hotaru noted, knowing that neither could regain their footing in time.
-fmp-
-BMMM-
As stated before, neither had time to regain their footing in time, so while Kakashi face-planted…
"YAAAAAAAAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! IT'SA POCKY-PALOOZA!" Hotaru shrieked joyfully.
...Hotarulanded in the open box of Pocky and was now snuggling down amidst the smaller containers, sighing, "Pocky…Pocky…all for me…my Pocky…"
"Oi, Kakashi. Y'alright man? Hajime asked half-heartedly, poking Kakashi's body with a stick.
-pikpiku-
"Heh heh heh! This is fun!" Hajime snickered.
"Wow, Naruto." Lee said, observing Hotaruin her Pocky nest(and she'scurrently downingfive sticks as we speak), "She's like you and Ramen."
"NOT RAMEN, YOU INSOLENT WORM! POCKY!" Hotaru roared, thrusting a Pocky at him viciously.
"Master Gai! I am…afraid!" Lee whispered, ducking behind his sensei.
"Never fear, I shall protect my students with my life!" Gai proclaimed.
"Could someone shut those two up?" Kakashi groaned (regaining consciousness) "I have a killer headache and-DWAAH!"
Hajime appeared an inch in front of his face; grinning creepily.
"Alright, Kakashi!" He said smilingly, "You've gotta date with a dress and a boombox!"
Kakashi blanched.
"Y-you can't be serio-" he began.
"Oh but I can!" Hajime grinned, "Besides, you it oweHi-chan THAT MUCH after all the harm you've done…doncha think?"
Kakashi fell silent.
"Besides!" Hajime smilled, "If ya don't, I can always stuff live weasels down your pants! But…it's really your cal-"
Kakashi waved a hand in his face, "Okay! OKAY!" he cried, "You've made your point!"
Hajime smiled, "Atta boy! Right this way, please!"
Kakashi moaned loudly and trudged past a very happy Hotaru, who was handing out Pocky (to everyone but him; she's still pissed o-o)
"Make sure ta get it on tape, brother." Hotaru snickered under her breath.
"Consider it done." Hajime smiled.
(A/N: The Konohagakure and Suna-siblings go to school...with the Uzumaki Twins! Skimpy gym outfits, algebra and crazed fans?...Sounds fun! R&R!)