(A/N: I'm BACK! HICHA! Lady Hiran here! Currently sick as a dog, but determined as ever to get things going. So kick back, relax, and enjoy!)
((P.S.: Read the A/N at the end CARE-FULL-LEE!))
The Uzumaki Twins were running at breakneck speeds, leaping over railings, skipping entire flights of stairs, the Suna-siblings and Konohagakure Shinobi just barely able to keep up.
"GO! GO! GO!" They shouted, "QUICK! BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!"
"Too late?" Naruto cried out, "What th' hell? Too late for what?"
-RRRMMMBLLLRRMMMBBLLRMMMBLLRRRMMMBLLLRRMMMBBLLRMMMBLL-
"What is going on?" Shino asked in bewilderment.
The twins flung open the Cafeteria doors and grabbed a pair of trays as a tsunami of bodies appeared behind them, and, leaping onto them, yelled, "SURFS UP!"
"WHOOOOOOOOAA!" Jiraiya hollered as he shot forward under the crushing force of students amassing to get food.
Hotaru and Hajime rode along the tops of the bodies like surfers, shouting out orders.
"BEEF RAMEN! CHICKEN RAMEN! SUPER-SPICY RAMEN! PORK RAMEN! CURRY RAMEN! FOURTEEN NOODLE BREADS! SIXTEEN MELON BREADS! EIGHTEEN PIZZA BREADS! TWENTY-THREE CURRY BREADS! FIFTEEN TAIYAKI! THRITEEN AN-PAN! AND MAKE IT SNAPPY!" They roared.
The food shot at them at cannon force and the Shinobi and Kunoichi barely managed to catch it.
The Uzuzmaki twins shouted at them over the din, "HOLD ON TO THAT FOOD TIGHT! JUST BECAUSE YA MANAGED TO GET IT DOESN'T NECESSARILY MEAN YOU'LL GET TO KEEP IT!"
Naruto saw what they meant. Already hands were groping at him wildly, in an attempt to rid him of the precious ramen he held to his chest, "BACK OFF HONKY!" He snarled, punching the aggressors in the noses.
Kakashi felt a pair of hands take hold of the curry bread in his arms, "Hands…OFF!" he roared, kicking the attempted-thief away.
Shino felt a hand slither under his elbow and reach for one of the Taiyaki he carried. He smirked inwardly as the owner of said hand began screaming uncontrollably when they came away, not with the Taiyaki they sought, but an armful of his bug allies.
They finally made it to the roof (surprise surprise) and set up everything for lunch.
"Hey." Temari said carefully, unwrapping a Noodle Bread, "I thought that Hotaru made us lunches."
"Yeah. What was the point of this?" Kankuro asked, chewing on the end of a Pizza Bread.
"Oh, those were stolen." Hotaru said matter-of-factly, taking the Super-Spicy Ramen Bowl and a Curry Bread for herself, "Happens everyday. The fanclubs sneak into my classes and steal'm. Phweeeh. So inconsiderate."
"The musta been dancin' fer joy t'day, Hi-chan." Hajime snickered, "You made so many."
"Yeah, but I've been getting really tired of having to buy school lunch everyday, so I laced those lunches with my Psychotically-Spicy-Volcano-Sauce." Hotaru snickered, "You know the one, Ha-chan."
"Yeah I do." He smirked, "The same one you use ta make those super-spicy Cajun Piroschki's I love so much."
(Authoress Note- Just a little sidenote here, Hajime and Spicy foods is like Hotaru and Pocky ((scary, ne?)). While Hi-chan likes spicy foods, it doesn't come close to overwhelmingly obsessive "GOT-TO-HAVE-IT-OR THE-WORLD-WILL-COME-TO-A-CATACLYSMIC-END" type love Ha-chan does. Get it? Got it? Good! On with the story!)
Gaara got with in one inch of Hotaru's face, "And what if they HADN'T stolen them?"
Hotaru smiled, "Then I would have warned all of you, except Kakashi, and we would have gotten school lunches anyway, Panda-chan!" she grinned wickedly.
Kakashi groaned, "You're still mad about that?"
"Boy, you sure can hold a grudge." Naruto acknowledged, slurping down his beef ramen happily.
"Good to know." Shino said, taking a bite of Melon Bread.
"I personally think Lady Hotaru has every right to feel-" Gai began, only to be silenced when Naruto, Hajime and Hotaru shoved Pizza, Melon and Noodle Bread into his mouth.
"No talking with your mouth full." They growled.
"Why are you so cruel to Master Gai?" Lee whimpered, "He is merely trying to defend Lady Hotaru, a small white blossom in the flower of you-"
Hajime pinched Lee's nostrils shut.
Naruto pinned the bowl cut's arms behind his back.
Hotaru whipped out an emergency bottle of her Psychotically-Spicy-Volcano-Sauce and forced a quarter of the bottle down his throat.
Rock Lee's face turned the color of a jabenero and his face beaded with sweat.
"If your thirsty, there's a lake about ten floors down and a hundred feet over." Hotaru said with a smile.
Lee took off like a rocket, leaving a trail of dust behind him.
"Wow." Gaara said, shaking his head in disbelief, "Even by my standards…that was mean."
"No cornball speeches." The Uzumaki's past and present stated.
Shino continued to eat in silence, laughing internally.
-DINGDONGDINGDOONNNNG-
"That's the warning bell." Hajime said, dusting himself off, "We better hurry."
"Where're we off to now?" Kakashi asked.
"Yamazaki-sensei's Studio Art Class!" Hotaru smiled, "Just ta warn you all beforehand, she's a real ballbuster."
"Lovely." Jiraiya groaned, "No wonder you're so happy."
Temari, in a rare moment of OOC-ness, joined Hotaru in grinning vindictively at Jiraiya and Kakashi.
"Whaddabout Lee?" Naruto asked.
"Ah, don't worry about it." Hajime shrugged, "I'll get'm. Just tell Yamazaki that'm goin' t' th' john."
"Gotcha." Hotaru said offhandedly, smacking him on the back lightly.
-SHFFTUT-
The Studio Art room was one of the nicest rooms the Time Traveling Shinobi had been in all day. It had the pleasant scent of paint, turpentine and clay, was very spacious and apparently, was first-come-first-serve seating.
As they took their seats Naruto noticed something different about this class; no one was speaking; not a word left their lips. They all sat ramrod straight in their chairs and didn't fidget a bit.
"Well…this is…awkward to say the least." Shino thought mildly.
"What's goin' on?" Naruto wondered.
-THM…THM…THM…THM…-
"Brace yourselves." Hotaru hissed out of the corner of her mouth.
-FRA-KRAK-
A woman…if you could really call "her" that…she…or he…either had to be on steroids…or was a REALLY unconvincing crossdresser...entered the room, his-koff-her head grazing the ceiling.
His/her neck was unbelievably thick and beefy with several popping veins, thick, muscular arms, legs with calf muscles the size of grapefruits and don't even get me started about the torso.
"ATTENNNNNNN-SHUN!" He/she boomed.
All the students (Even the time traveling ninja) flew, quite involuntarily, out of their seats.
"T'DAY…WE WEE-ILL…BE WOR-KING…AH-ON…A STIH-LL…LAH-AHFE!" She/he roared in drill instructor fashion.
She/he slammed down a bowl of fruit on the desk.
"BE FINISHED…IN TWEH-ELVE…HUNDRED…HOURS!" She/he bellowed.
"BEEEEEE-GIN!"
As one, the class sat down and started drawing.
The man/woman, stomped back out of the room.
Gaara leaned over and whispered, "Was…was that…?"
Hotaru nodded, "Yuh-huh. 'Ms.' Yamazaki. Fresh outta the millitary We're still tryin' ta figure out if…'she's' lyin' or not."
Jiraiya whimpered, "Scarrrry."
Hotaru smirked happily, "For once, I'm enjoying this class. Heh heh."
"Gee, I can't imagine why." Kakashi said, rolling his eye(s).
Shino hid a smile.
Hajime slunk into the room, dragging a rather soppy Lee behind him.
"What's the topic?" he whispered.
"Still life." Naruto whispered back, before, snickering, "Heya Lee. I hear the lake is nice this time a year."
"Sh-shut up." Lee spat, sitting down at an easel.
-DINGDONGDINGDOONNNNG-
"Good afternoon Hotaru-san. Good afternoon Hajime-san."
"Hicha Sachiko!"
"Hey Ishii-chan."
(here's a profile, courtesy of Hiei's Shadow Tenshi ((it's her chara)) P.S.: Tenshi-chan? She's only gonna be poppin' in here and there; makin' cameo appearances, 'kay?.)
Name: Sachiko Ishii
Age: 16
Eye: color: crimson
Hair: color: lilac
Clothes: Out side of school she is seen wearing her priestess outfit
Personality: She's a very shy and quiet girl. She is basically like Hina-chan,
but that's just when she first meets people. After she gets to know them and
after they get to know her, she becomes a very out going person. She is very
kind and motherly, protective of the ones close to her and would do anything for
someone in need (even complete strangers.) She doesn't care what a
person is, she always tries to find the good in people. She, like all normal
girls, will-NOT-tolerate-perverts. ((hint hint, that may give you some ideas ne?
"Hajime-san…" Sachiko said, looking the blonde boy over with a critical gaze, "The top button on your uniform is loose-" She said, reaching forward and taking hold of the button in question, "You really need to take better care of yourself."
She then released her hold and began fusing with Hotaru's scarf, "-and Hotaru-san? Your kerchief is crooked."
"SACHIKOOOOO!" Hajime cried, "KNOCK IT OFF!"
Sachiko jerked back with a gasp, tears brimming in her eyes, "Wuh-what did I do? I was only tr-trying to help! Yuh-your not b-being fair!" she whimpered.
Hotaru jabbed her twin roughly in the ribs with her elbow, "BAKA!" she hissed, "She's a VIRGO! Under the protection of Demeter! She's delicate and you have to treat her gently!"
"I'm sorry Sachi!" Hotaru said retying her regulation kerchief, "I'll fix Hajime's button later, okay? And look! I've already straightened my scarf, see?"
Sachiko sniffled away a few more tears, "Alright." She nodded, "But one thing first…who are those people?" Sachiko asked pointing to the Shinobi and Kunoichi over the Uzumaki Twin's shoulders, "New friends of yours?"
"MEEP!" Hajime and Hotaru thought together, "WHADDLE WE DO-OO?"
"Uh...they're uh…" Hajime said smartly.
"RELATIVES!" Hotaru cried, "From overseas! (yeah, that's it.) Relatives from overseas!"
"Huh?" the time travelers thought together, "What th' HELL!"
"Relatives?" Sachiko asked mildly, "Strange…I seem to remember you telling me how you and Hajime-san were true orphans."
"Wuh-well we-were-WRONG!" Hajime said, his voice rising a few octaves.
"This is our-our 'cousin' Naru-pyo-I mean Naruto!" Hotaru said wrapping her arms around her ancestors shoulder in a big hug while leaning in close to his ear and hissing, "You blow this, you die."
Naruto suppressed a frightened squeak and nodded.
"These are our uncles, Kakashi and Gai, and our great uncle Jiraiya." Hajime continued, not missing a beat now.
"And these are our first cousins, Temari, Gaara, I just call him Panda-chan, but you are NOT allowed to call him that (glomps him), Kankuro and our second cousin, Lee."
"It's nice to meet you all." Sachiko smiled, "I am Ishii Sachiko."
There was a round of nodding, and "Hey, howya doin?"'s, before they went on their way to the next class.
"Thank GOD Sachiko is so naïve!" Hotaru and Hajime thought together, sweating a bit as they opened the auditorium door.
-SHFFTUT-
Row after rows of seats without desks lined the floors in front of a raised stage.
"Ah, Uzumaki-chan and Uzumaki-kun! Good!" and masculine voice said cheerfully.
A rather watery, tired looking young man (about twenty-four or twenty-five) with pale brown hair secured in a ponytail, though not nearly as nice as Hajime's (Hotaru did it for him today-HA!) and wire rimmed glasses
"Hicha Mr. Tadakichi!" Hotaru cried, tackle-glomping him furiously (the girl loves hugging people; she hugs random people in the halls and on the streets…sad ain't it?).
"Good afternoon, Hotaru-chan." Tadakichi smiled, patting her head, "Not that I don't just love your hugs, I do, really, but could you please let me up? I'm starting to lose the feeling in my legs."
"Oops! Sorry!" Hotaru smiled, clamouring off him and helping her teacher to his feet, "Didn't hurt you, did I?"
"Naw." He smiled, "Just use a bit more restraint in the future."
"Okay." She smiled.
"Jeez sis, could ya be moruva spaz?" Hajime growled, clapping his forehead into his palm.
"Yes." Hotaru grinned, "I simply choose not to."
"Ugh." Hajime sighed.
"I hate to interrupt-," Kakashi said carefully, "-but what exactly is this class?"
"Oh, this is Drama." Hajime said, smirking up at him, "I'd watch yerself."
"Why?" Naruto asked, truly confused, "Why should he watch himself?"
"Because this is the one class where I can vent without getting in trouble." Hotaru snickered.
"Oh I get it." Naruto grinned, "Bad news for Kakashi-sensei and Jiraiya-sama!"
"I would feel sorry for you if they hadn't almost choked me to death." Gai smirked.
"Yeah, and I had my tastebuds burned off." Lee sneered, "Time to face the she-devil."
-BWAK-
"Wanna repeat that, Lee?" Hotaru smiled.
"No ma'am." Lee whimpered.
"Wow...you can really be a bitch." Kankuro nodded appreciatively.
"And proud of it." Hotaru smirked.
Shino snickered lightly.
Hotaru raised her hand, "OI! Mr. Tadakichi! I have a skit I wanna perform!"
"Alright! C'mon up!" He smiled.
She gripped Kakashi and Jiraiya by the collars and dragged them up to the stage, grinning malevolently.
Kakashi felt thrills of dread sweep through his stomach.
Jiraiya said a silent prayer to as many deities as humanly possible.
Hotaru cleared her throat.
"HOW DARE YOU!" she screamed, "YOU SICK, DISGUSTING, LASCIVIOUS PERVERT! HOW DARE YOU STEAL SOMETHING SO PRECIOUS FROM ME!"
Hotaru craked her knuckles and advanced on them, "I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"
"Wuh-WAIT!" Kakashi cried, "It was an ACCIDENT! I DIDN'T MEAN-"
"WHY'RE YOU DRAGGING ME INTO THIS?" Jiraiya shouted.
"SHUT UP!" Hotaru roared, "I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO RETRIEVE WHAT YOU'VE STOLEN! YOU DESERVE TO DIE!"
"WHY AM I HERE?" Jiraiya howled.
"YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHY YOU'RE HERE, LETCH!" Hotaru shouted, throwing a barrage of punches at the pair.
"What a moving piece." Girl D whispered.
"Hotaru-chan is fantastic!" a horde of fanboys simpered.
"The silver-haired guy ain't half bad either." A couple of girls blushed.
"I wonder where she came up with the idea for such a creative skit." Boy C wondered.
"Yeah." The Sunagakure Siblings snickered internally, "I wonder."
Kakashi managed to catch Hotaru's curse marked fist and wrapped his free arm around her waist tightly, pinning her bare hand to her side; he locked both her legs with his (for-koff-personal safety).
"Pervert." She hissed, not struggling in the slightest (for fear he would enjoy it).
"Now listen." He said calmly, "I'm not letting you go until you me out."
"…speak, mortal." She growled.
"I'm sorry, okay? I'm truly sorry for what happened. I wish there was some way for me to return what I took from you, but there isn't."
Hotaru went slack in his arms.
"Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?" Kakashi ventured.
Hotaru looked thoughtful, then smirked wickedly, "Yes. Yes as a matter of fact there is, but it can wait til later."
Kakashi looked a little afraid as he released her.
-CLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAP-
"Bravo! Wonderful!" Tadakichi cried, "Hotaru, that was your best skit all year."
"Thank you!" Hotau smiled.
"Hajime? You're up!" Tadakichi called.
-DINGDONGDINGDOONNNNG-
"Okay! Next up is Choir." Hajime said, "With none other than Mr. Fujibayashi. Gawd, I hate him. He's sucha prick."
"Don't worry." Hotaru said dismissively, "I'll take care of him."
Hajime grinned, and slung his arms around his twin's shoulders, "I luv ya, Hi-chan!"
"But only when the occasion calls for it." Hotaru said snidely.
"HEY!" Hajime cried indignantly as Hotaru ran off laughing.
-SHFFTUT-
Choir turned out to be the most boring class yet. The teacher, Fujibayashi, was unbelievably strict and allowed no one to help anyone else and expected automatic perfection from his students without doing any actual voice coaching himself.
Naruto was silently praying for death when a loud crackling sound echoed throughout the room:
-"ATTENTION FUJIBAYASHI-SAN! ATTENTION FUJIBAYASHI-SAN! YOUR CAR IS BEING TOWED. I REPEAT, YOUR CAR IS BEING TOWED."-
"Shit. Class, I'll be right back (shyeah right)." Fujibayashi said sharply, dashing from the room.
There was a silence…then…
"WOO-HOOOOOOOOO!"
"HA-YEAH!"
"WAY TA GO, HI-CHAN!"
The class erupted in joyful cheers and those cries doubled when Hotaru entered the room, bowing boastfully (Naruto's genes kicking in) and blowing kisses.
"Sis, did you really have him towed?" Hajime asked.
"Of course!" Hotaru said (straight up), "I just called on one of the many favors owed to me, and had Eiji hot wire his car into the red zone."
"Eiji?" Hajime snapped, "You mean, '"Fifth Street Vipers"' Eiji?"
"Yup." Hotaru smiled.
"And how does someone like that…owe you a favor?" Shino asked.
"I kicked his ass and swore to tell no one." Hotaru smirked, "Let me tell you, there is nothing worse for your street cred than being royally served by a girl."
"Quick! Lock the doors!" Girl A cried.
"Didja remember the boombox?" Boy A asked.
"Of course!" Boy B said exasperatedly.
"Is Maroon Five okay?" Girl B asked.
"Shyeah!" Boy C cheered, "Didja bring Kayne West too?"
"Duh!" Girl B rolled her eyes.
"Uh, what's goin' on?" Naruto asked.
"You're about to find out." Hotaru grinned as "Harder, and Harder to Breathe" blasted out of the speakers.
The student began to writhe and twist in time to the music.
A random girl grabbed Naruto's hand and started dancing with him.
In a music driven haze, Hotaru started dancing with Kakashi.
Girl's A & B danced with Gaara and Kankuro.
Hajime danced with Temari.
Jiraiya danced with the student teacher T-A.
Gai danced with the other student teacher, T-B.
Lee danced with Girl C.
The CD switched to Kayne West; the song, "Gold Digger" and while the tempo of the dancing switched no one stopped.
-DINGDONGDINGDOONNNNG-
The class ignored the bell and finished out the song before packing everything away and saying goodbye.
"That was fun!" Naruto cried on the walk home, "Dancing here is so different from back home!"
"I know!" Hotaru grinned, "Back there, it's sooooo slow! Here, we just let our bodies follow the rhythm of the music; fast or slow!"
Kakashi sidled up to Hotaru, "So…does this mean I'm forgiven?"
Hotaru looked up at him witheringly, "Not…by a long shot." She said dully, "You still have to do something for me."
Kakashi gulped, "And that would be?"
Hotaru grinned hugely, "Kiss Gai!"
Kakashi nearly fainted, "NO! Please, anything but that!" he begged.
"It's the only way I'll ever forgive you." Hotaru said simply, "If you don't do it, then you can for get me ever absolving you, Kakashi-perv."
Kakashi groaned, "Do I really want to be forgiven? Is it really that important?"
Hotaru looked up at him intently with her overlarge, child-like, ice-blue eyes.
"Yes. Yes it is." He moaned internally.
He he walked over to Gai in a fashion most reminiscent of a death march and tapped him on the shoulder.
"Ah my etrnal rival!" Gai boomed, "What is-MMMPH!"
Kakashi tore his mouth away and wiped his lips roughly.
"Now you know some of my pain." Hotaru grinned, "You are forgiven!"
"Buh-buh-but whaddabout me?" Gai sputtered.
"Not my problem." Hotaru said glibly.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
(A/N: Woo-hoo! That was a long one! Next time,Brothers reunited, a visit to the Uzumaki grave plot and...Hotaru's greatest fear revealed. A special prize will be rewarded to whomever guesses what it is correctly. R&R!)