(A/N: Sorry this took so long! My computer died and had to go into the shop! But now it's back and I repay your patience with an extra long chappie! Enjoy!)
"I thought I already told you, it can't…be…done." Hotaru emphasized the last few words to the fuming elder Uchiha brother sitting next to her on the couch.
Itachi was only moments away from the breaking point and Haku had taken the liberty of grabbing both Sasuke and Naruto by the hands and flee from the room.
Gaara, wanting to have no part in something so foolish, had casually strolled up tha stairs about half an hour earlier and raided Hotaru's bookcase; he now was lounging comfortably on her bed, Tanpopo curled in a ball on his back, reading 'Where the Sidewalk Ends'.
"And I thought I told you, woman, you can and will do it or so help me I'll-!" Itachi's voice rose with each word.
Hotaru suddenly leaned forward on both hands causing the Akatsuki leader to lean backward out of disconcertion of having his personal space bubble broken.
"Okay, you're so smart." She said snidely, "Why don't you open up those Sharingan for a minute or two and tell me what you see?"
Itachi glared at her through blood red eyes scanning the sunny blonde sixteen year old and finding himself pleasantly surprised at what he found…or didn't find.
"Nothing." He said, mild surprise filling his voice as well as a faint pink tinge, "Not a thing."
"Exactly…dumbass." Hotaru said punching him in the back of the head, "Nothing. Nadda. Zip. Zero. The Big Cheerio."
She pushed herself away from him and switched herself onto her feet.
"I'm sure Kakashi-perv and Zabu-chan noticed." Hotaru said witheringly, giving Itachi a very belittling look, "Ha-chan and I have been completely drained since the last stunt."
"Last stunt?" Itachi raised an eyebrow, "What are you talking about, woman?"
Hotaru got within two inches of his nose and smiled at him in an extremely creepy, plastic, Barbie Doll fashion.
"I mean, smart one, the last trip through time you so…kindly and spontaneously prompted." She grinned, grinding her fingers into his scalp viciously, "So until me and Hajime have a chance to recharge, you're-stuck-here."
Hotaru shoved hard and Itachi flew head over feet over the back of the sofa, landing on his stomach.
Haku, Sasuke and Naruto peeked around the entry to the room.
"Wow…sweet, dude." Naruto muttered.
Sasuke nodded in agreement, the faintest flickers of a smile dancing across his lips.
Haku looked at them both and shook his head sadly.
In the kitchen, Hajime, Zabuza and Kakashi lounged about, eating leftovers.
Hajime tilted his head towards the living room, as though listening.
"Mm. Sounds like that idiot managed ta piss'er off again." Hajime sighed.
"Oh well." Zabuza shrugged, taking another bite of leftover cake, "Not my problem."
Kakashi didn't reply, thoroughly engrossed in 'Come Come Paradise' and chewing happily on a blueberry muffin.
"Ha-chaaaaann?" Hotaru called from the living room (Itachi is currently truning blue from the strangle-hold she has him in)
"What?" Hajime yelled back, walking to the pantry and grabbing a bag of potato chips.
"Are you all set for tonight?" she hollered back (Itachi broke free and dashed through the kitchen)
"Yeah!" he yelled back, grabbing Itachi by the back of the shirt, "Why?"
"Because, you didn't forget what tomorrow is, did you?" Hotaru asked, strolling into the kitchen and retrieving Itachi from her brother, "Thank you!" she smiled, dragging him back into the living room.
"Yeah, I remember." Hajime said languidly as Itachi, red faced and angry, dashedpast him anddown the basement stairs.
"Well as long as you didn't forget to outfit these guys." Hotaru said, striding casually back into the kitchen and snatching up the chip bag from her brother.
"Hey!" He growled as she replaced it with a glass of milk.
"Your brittle bones need the calcium." She snickered, piching his side.
"Ya-ha!" Hajime yelped, fighting back a laugh, "Hotaru! Knock it off!"
"Drink your milk!" Hotaru called over her shoulder as she hopped easily up the stairs.
Haku walked into the kitchen with Sasuke and Naruto in tow.
Naruto was grinning broadly, tears dancing in the corners of his eyes; he had just finished laughing.
Sasuke had the oddest smirk on his face…no, wait…it was…A SMILE! (le' GASP!)
Haku looked unsure of whether he should laugh or not.
"Whaddid she do?" Hajime asked boredly (drinking his milk like a good, younger twin)
"It was sooo FUNNY!" Naruto cried, "She used some kind of technique on him tomake his arms and legs all floopy! Then she swooped him off the ground and started rockin' him back and forth singin', '"Rock-a-bye baaby! On the tree toop! When the wind bloows! The cradle will roock!"'"
Sasuke couldn't speak. He forced himself to look at the floor to keep himself from actually laughing.
"Then she made him mobile again." Haku said, still looking torn, "And he ran out of the room, looking mortified."
Zabuza snickered, "Ahh, I can't believe I missed it."
Kakashi snapped his fingers in disappointment, "What a wasted opportunity."
"Oh, well. There's always t'morrow." Hajime shrugged.
Hotaru walked into her room and blinked once or twice.
Gaara appeared to be sleeping, her fox kit dozing on his back.
She smiled and wlaked over to remove the book from his hand when…
"…'m not sleeping." Gaara muttered, turning his head to look at her.
"Sorry." Hotaru smiled sheepishly, "I almost forgot, you have the Shukaku locked within you. You can't sleep."
"Mm." Gaara nodded.
Hotaru removed Tanpopo from Gaara's back without waking her and placed him on her lap.
"I can't begin to understand how horrid that must be." She said, staring at the sleeping fox, "After all, I have the Kyuubi sealed within me. Hajime on the other hand, could relate. After all, he's the one who inherited the Shukaku."
Gaara's head snapped up, "What wazzat?"
"I seh-ehd...Ihave the Kyuubi sealed within myself…and the Shukaku is locked within Hajime." Hotaru repeated.
"That's just not possible." Gaara growled, "He slee-"
"Sleeps…with a number of seals that he can never remove." Hotaru interjected, "Ever."
Gaara blinked, "Really?"
"Really really." Hotaru smiled.
"I never would of thought that your brother of all people would house…" Gaara paused, "Or that you would…"
"That shocking, huh?" Hotaru grinned, "Weelllll...don't let it bother you. You would have learned the truth sooner or later. I prefer sooner to later, don't you?"
She stood up laughing and Gaara stared at her in amazement.
"How?" he murmured, "How can you stay so happy?"
"Hm?" she looked at him, "What do you mean?"
"You've been cursed to carry a demon because of the selfishness of your forefathers!" Gaara spat, "Doesn't that infuriate you even slightly?"
"Well, sure it did at first." Hotaru shrugged, "But why linger on it? It only let's some unseen force, I.E. the demon, control me. I don't like the idea of someone or something else besides myselfcontrolling me, do you? I don't. So I live my life the way I like and don't give a damn what anyone else thinks."
Gaara gazed at her in shock, unable to believe that the nonsense she just spouted had made a little sense.
"Now, I'll let you get back to your reading." Hotaru grinned, skipping out the door, "Shel Silverstien is a really funny poet, don't you agree?"
Gaara just stared after her, mouth agape.
The Next Day…
"Explain to me what we're doing again?" Sasuke asked, sitting to the right of Kakashi (the seat furthest from Itachi, who had been dragged along against his will under threat of rape by convicts) on the cool bleachers amidst screaming, grease-paint smeared, sign-waving fans.
"According to Hajime and Hotaru, rooting on Hajime's team, The Yuzurihayama Screamin' Demons, to victory." Kakashi said mildly, not looking up from his book as a huge fight broke out between fans from Yuzurihayama and fans from the visitor school, Kawagakure (Hidden River) behind him.
"My, the energy in the air is so thick." Haku commented as a shoe flew over his head.
"I would have to agree with you." Zabuza snickered as the shoe's owner soon followed.
Naruto was focused on the game (oh…my…LORD! Naruto? FOCUSING? THE WORLD AS WE KNOW ITIS ENDING! RUN FOR THE BOMB SHELTERS!)
Hajime caught the snap and shouted, "Go long!...Go long!"
The Full back wasn't going far enough.
"AW, SCREW IT! I'LL DO IT MYSELF!" Hajime snarled, heaving the ball across the field.
With one hand, he shoved lineman after lineman out of the way before catching his own pass at the endzone.
-"TOUCHDOWN YUZURIHAYAMA!"- boomed over the loud speakers.
The fans surrounding the time travelers was deafening, but no where near as loud as the cheer squad.
"LET'S-GO-FIGHT! (CLAP) WIN-TO-NIGHT! (CLAP)" they bellowed.
Itachi stuck a finger in his ear and popped it several times, "Damn…how can anything that little be that loud?"
"Apparently it's possibly." Gaara grunted as the game endedand the Screamin' Demons we're declared the winners.
Hotaru and Hajime, still in uniform appeared next to Sasuke and Itachi, serious looks on their faces.
"We gotta move. Now." Hajime hissed, hooking Itachi's arm and beginning to drag him along.
"Huh? Why so soon?" Sasuke asked, eyes widening in surprise as Hotaru hefted him over her shoulders like a sack of potatoes.
"Because, Kawagakure's pissed that they lost." Hotaru said sternly, grabbing Kakashi's shirt sleeve and pulling him out of his seat, "And riots are breaking out."
"Ah." Haku nodded understandingly, taking the hand offered to him by Hajime.
"Besides, we have less than an hour to get you guys ready and we have to leave early." Hajime said as they flitted through the near empty streets to their house.
"Why?" Naruto asked, eyes filled with confusion.
"Because the goddamn student body voted Ha-chan and myself Homecoming King and Queen." Hotaru replied, making a face, "Can anyone say, 'incest'?"
Hajime shuddered, "Brrr. Man, their minds are sick."
Gaara's face paled.
Haku blanched slightly.
Naruto just looked around for answers (not knowing what incest was)
Kakashi just shook his head.
Sasuke and Itachi shared a brief, sickened look.
Zabuza snickered.
"Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto asked, "What's-"
"You're better off not know." Kakashi said quickly,patting Naruto on the head.
"C'mon. We have to get dressed." Haku said, his voice going up a decibel or two from stress.
"Th-that's right!" Sasuke chimed, his voice cracking from anxiety, "Let's go!"
Gaara nodded vigorously.
All three grabbed him and dragged the thrashing boy who was still crying, "Aw, c'mon! TELL ME!" up the stairs.
"We may as well." The elder men shrugged, retreating to their rooms to dress.
"How much longer?" Naruto whined.
"Not much further. Relax, Naru-pyon!" Hotaru smiled cheerfully.
The group sat in the expansive back seat of a limo in very formal attire.
Hajime, Haku, Gaara, Naruto, Itachi (dragged along), Kakashi, Zabuza and Sasuke were all dressed in black tuxedos (it had taken a lot of negotiating with Naruto to talk him out of a hideous orange one) with all wearing ties in assorted colors (none of which were orange).
Haku, Itachi and Hajime had their hair pulled back; Haku's in a braid; Hajime and Itachi in ponytails.
Gaara, Sasuke, Naruto Zabuza and Kakashi had slicked their hair back.
No one knew what Hotaru was wearing as she wore a very fluffy, blue faux fur coat that stopped at the knees, and only showed about seven inches of glittering skirt that stopped just above the ankles and had a slit on the right as well as a pair of rhinestone-encrusted stiletto sandals.
She wore her hair up in a very interesting crisscrossing design that ended in a very short ponytail and had parted her bangs to the side. Decorative chopstick, with diamonds covering the ends (family heirloom) where artfully placed in her hairdo as well as three tiny rhinestone clips, each containing only stone; it was as if dew was glittering in her hair.
"Kakashi-perv, you know you can't wear that in there right?" Hotaru said the Sensei of Team Seven criticallythrough a thin coat of pale pink lipstick.
"Wear what?" Kakashi asked mildly, deeply engrossed in his book.
Hotaru glared in exasperation, "Your mask." She growled, "It has to come off. They're going tothink you're one of those creeps who hangs out in public restrooms."
Kakashitore his gaze from the pages of 'Come Come Paradise', "No."
"Just take it off." Hotaru sighed, rubbing her temple with her curse seal hand.
"No!" Kakashi said, scootching away from her defensively.
"Take it off." Hotaru said tersely, looking up at him, eyes flashing.
"I'm not going to." Kakashi said staunchly.
"NOW!" Hotaru roared.
"Fine!" Kakashi shouted back, throwing up his hands, "As you wish your majesty!"
He ripped his mask and hitai-ate off and hurled them at the carpet by her feet.
"There! Happy?" he asked angrily, glaring at the elder Uzumaki twin through one black and one red, scarred eye.
Hotaru blinked in surprise, then a strange smile crossed her lips, "Extremely." She said, "I don't know why you wear that thing at all. You're hot!"
Kakashi stared at her, a pinkish tinge filling his face.
"'scuse me?" he squeaked.
"I said you're hot!" Hotaru repeated, "As in fine, babe-a-licious, pretty-hot-and-tasty, and DAAAAAA-AMN!" she grinned causing the teacher to attempt hiding behind Zabuza's bulky frame as the man and Naruto started laughing at him.
"We're here!" Hajime whooped excitedly as the limo pulled up to the dock.
The chauffeur opened the door for them and they walked out onto the pier.
"Uh…Hotaru? Are you sure?" Sasuke asked glancing at the small yacht in front of them, "I highly doubt that tiny thing could hold the nine of us, let alone your entire class."
Hotaru smiled at him and placed a hand on his shoulder, "That's not the boat." Hotaru grinned, steering the younger Uchiha in the right direction (enjoying the look on Sasuke's face as his eyes grew big as saucers), "THAT'S the boat."
A GI-NOURMOUS steamship that had to be several stories above and below water towered over them; it rivaled the R.M.S. Titanic.
"Queen Hotaru! There you are! Looking lovely as ever, your excelency!"
The group whirled around and Gaara, Zabuza, Itachi and Haku did a double take when a near doppelganger of the elder Uchiha brother strolled up and took Hotaru's hand and kissed it gently; the only difference was the fact that this guy had green eyes.
"Hey Ucchan!" Hotaru grinned, "You're looking sex-eh!" she said, appearing to plant a kiss on his cheek (but she was just faking; actually, their whole relationship is purely based off of their enjoyment of pissing her brother off).
Hajime glared viciously at the Uchiha's descendant, balling his hands into fists.
"Asatoooo…" he snarled, "You-have-five-seconds-to-get-away-from-my-sister-you-horny-little-freak!"
"Now why would I abandon my date?" Uchiha Asato smirked, wrapping an arm around her waist. (see ch.3)
Hajime looked ready to snap when a pair of white gloved hands wrapped around his arm and chided, "Ah, Ah, AH! Comport yourself with dignity, your highness! No fighting!"
Hajime whirled around, "Kanna!" (see ch.3)
Kanna smiled up at him, "Yup! I couldn't believe it when I heard the results! The people in our school are so twisted!"
Hotaru and Hajime made faces, "Tell us about it."
Gaara squirmed uncomfortably, nervous without his gourd, "Can we go?"
Kanna turned to see who was speaking.
"Oh!" she cried in surprise, "Who's this?"
"I'll explain later." Hotaru said, walking hurriedly towards the ship.
The interior of the ship was lavishly decorated for the occasion and no expense had been spared.
Crystal chandeliers glittered from the ceilings; plush carpeting and an elaborate cherry wood dance floor; crystal goblets, plates, and gold filigree silverware adorned the lace table cloths.
Hotaru released an exasperated sigh, "Man, that old codger is as nutty as a fruitcake."
"Who is?" Zabuza inquired.
"The school's founder." Hajime groaned, palming his forehead when he spotted the two, gigantic gold, jewel encrusted thrones situated against a mirrored wall.
"Goddamn it." Hotaru moaned, "I guess those must be for us."
"Yup!" Kanna smiled brightly, "Before things get going the crown this year's royalty and the king and queen hafta dance the first dance together!"
"WHAT?" The Twins shrieked.
Internally, Itachi was doing a victory dance, while outwardly, he grinned in way that was just plain creepy (Sasuke actually ducked behind Naruto, of all people, for protection)
"Yeah. Sorry, doll face." Asato sighed, wrapping his arms around her shoulders.
Hajime growled ferally at him.
Kanna just smiled.
Hotaru struck up a conversation with Naruto about ramen to get her mind off things.
"Hey Hi-chan, aren't you hot in that thing?" Kanna asked, pointing to Hotaru's massive faux fur coat.
Hotaru blinked.
"I was wondering why they had the heat up so high!" she grinned, unzipping it.
Every male in the room's jaw (with the exception of Hajime) dropped to the floor.
Hotaru was wearing a…koff…rather revealing dress.
It was in the halter style and dipped very low in the back…as well as in the front (it stopped two inches below her navel) and the slit stopped at her hip.
It was made of a very glittery, gun-metal grey materiel that moves very easily.
The ever present tekko were gone.
"Nice!" Kanna said appreciatively.
"Thanks!" Hotaru grinned back.
"Yeah, sis. They can't see your tits…in SWEDEN!" Hajime roared.
"Ha-chan, lighten up." Hotaru said cheerfully.
Twenty Minutes Later…
"And Now! Our King and Queen will lead us off in the first dance!"
Kakashi smirked happily.
Zabuza looked about ready to die from laughing do hard Naruto looked ready to join him.
Haku, once again, looked very, very torn.
Gaara sneered up at his progeny with Sasuke.
Itachi was on the floor, pounding the hardwood with his fists, howling with laughter.
Hotaru now had a dazzling tiara on her head as well as a long, red, fur-lined cape that pooled on the floor; she looked as though she was doing her best not to puke.
Hajime had a rather impressinve crown atop his skull, also with a red, fur-lined cape and looked as though he was looking for some means of escape.
A slow song, "Calling All Angels" by Lenny Kravitz, began to play over the loud speakers and the two began to waltz.
Very soon, the three princesses and princes joined in and finally (much to the twins relief) the song ended.
Hajime and Hotaru took each others hands distastefully and returned to their thrones, where their scepters awaited them.
"LET'S PARRRRRRTEH!" The two shouted, pumping their scepter filled fists in the air.
"WOO-HOOOOO!"
Hotaru and Hajime tore off the crowns and capes at lightspeed and quickly rejoined their group.
"God! Glad that's over with." Hajime said, grabbing Kanna's hand, "C'mon, let's dance."
"Gladly." Kanna smiled.
Gaara, Naruto, Sasuke and Haku had already been abducted by the cheersquad and was being forced to dance with each of it's members in turn (not that it was all that bad, just slightly embarrassing.)
Itachi was on the run from the Uzumaki's Sado-Masochist math teacher (see ch.12) who had taken one look at him and fallen in love.
Zabuza had been asked to dance by Naka-teach (see ch.12) and refused her politely only to have her go off on one of her classic suicide attempts after being rejected.
Kakashi (sans mask and hitai-ate) had quite the sizeable crowd drawn around him, all blushing and murmuring appreciatively.
"Hey. Where's Asato?" Kakashi asked Hotaru, who was now leaning against the wall, rocking out to the music that was playing by herself.
"Over there." Hotaru pointed.
Asato was dancing with another girl.
"I see." Kakashi nodded with a frown, "I thought you two were-"
"It's okay." Hotaru smiled up at him, "Our whole relationship is purely based off our enjoyment of pissing Ha-chan off. If you want to get technical, we're not really going out at all. So I don't mind."
"Pump It" by The Black Eyed Peas began blasting through the ballroom.
"I guess a lot of people like this song." Kakashi noted with a smirk.
"What?" Hotaru called, holding a hand up to her ear, "I can't hear you!"
"I said-!" Kakashi yelled raising his voice.
A young couple ran into Kakashi on their way to the dance floor.
He threw his hands against the wall to keep from falling on Hotaru.
Hotaru, afraid he might fall on her, had thrown her hands out and gripped his shirt collar tightly.
The whole situation was rather awkward.
Both Kakashi and Hotaru started turning red.
-bmp…bmp…bmp…bmp…bmp-
"Wha-what's going on?I-I DON'T HAVE CONTROL OF MY BODY!" Hotaru shrieked in her mind as she raised herself up on her tiptoes and kissed Kakashi passionately on the lips.
"AAAAAAAUGH! NOOOOO!" she screamed in her mind as she watched Kakashi's eyes widen in shock before sliding close as he returned the kiss.
-("You know, you should be thanking me.")- a voice in her head said, chuckling maliciously.
"YOU?" Hotaru shrieked in her mind, "I'm still wearing seals! The decorative chopsticks in my hair have seals up the WAHZOO! You shouldn't be ABLE to take control, goddamn it!"
-("Well apparently…")- the voice snickered, -("…the seals in your tekko are more powerful than the ones in those chopsticks. Heh!")-
"BITCH!" Hotaru screamed as she felt the kiss deepen, "You make this stop right now!"
-("Oh, so you mean you DON'T like the way he smells and you DON'T like the fact that he has a verrry well developed six pack and you DON'T like the fact that he's hotter than hell?")- the voice asked mildly.
"…that's not the POINT!" Hotaru roared, "You better give me back control, or I swear to GOD, I'M NOT LETTING YOU OUT FOR A CENTURY!"
-("Okay! Okay!")- the voice cried out defensively, -("YEESH! No need to get so testy!")-
A feeling like sinking into a warm bath slid over her as Hotaru regained control.
With a vicious shove, Hotaru pushed Kakashi away and ran out of the ball room, leaving the jounin both breathless and bewildered.
(A/N: Hoookay! The Kyuubi's havin' a little fun toyin' with Kakashi and Hotaru (who's currently so mortified she can't look him in the face) Kakashi's confused, Itachi's pissed, Sasuke's happier than he's ever been (seeing his brother suffer such indignities), Haku is so/so (buthe wont stay somellow-yellowfor long), Zabuza is...well...Zabuza, Gaara is maintaining his sanity (for now) and Naruto is discovering the joys of the video game consol! R&R!)