(A/N: Hi. Lady Hiran here and feelin' low. Only one review last chap. So depressing. So sad. Hopefully I'll get more this chappie. Read on peeps.)
"Bro, you know I hate it too."
"Then why're we goin'?"
"Because we don't have any other options."
"Sure we do! We could go to a hotel!"
"With what money?"
"…God…damn it I hate you."
"I love you too, Ha-chan, but we can save the sentimentality for later."
The Uzmaki twins had been bickering like this ever since Hotaru had come to the conclusion that their was only one safe location left for them: The Uzumaki Estate.
"How much further?" Naruto asked as they trudged along a well worn path.
"Not much." Hajime grumbled, kicking at the dirt by his feet, "Damnit...I don't wanna."
-WOK-
"Quit your whining." Hotaru snarled.
"Why…did you hit…me?" Itachi groaned pulling his face out of a trunk.
"Because you're fun to hit and it makes me smile!" Hotaru grinned.
"Apparently." Kakashi smirked from behind his 'Come Come Pardise'.
Sasuke's smile grew slightly (just a smidge!)
"Zabuza, why do you think those two dislike the main house so much?" Haku asled.
"With the way this effed up plotline's goin', I'm sure we'll find out soon enough." Zabuza replied.
"Plotline?" Gaara asked, eyebrow raised, "Whaddya mean?"
"Never mind." Kakashi said dismissively.
(Authoress: -waving an AK-47- DON'T RUIN MY STORY YOU BASTARDS!)
At the top of the hill, a rather amazing sight met their eyes.
"Whoooooooa."
Hajime and Hotaru sighed.
And expansive, traditional Japanese mansion towered imposingly over them.
At the noise, a swarm of retinue surged out and onto the stone walkway that led to the entry; bowing as one.
"Welcome back, Hotaru-oujosama. Welcome back, Hajime-obousama."
Hajime and Hotaru sighed in exasperation and strode quickly through the servants and into the house; Haku, Naruto, Zabuza, Sasuke, Itachi, Gaara and Kakashi hot on their heels.
"What was that all abo-" Naruto started.
Hajime pointed an infuriated finger at his twin.
"Her." He growled crossly.
"I'm the head of the Uzumaki family(See ch. 2)." Hotaru sighed, "Remember?"
"Oh…I get it." Naruto said, palming his fist, "You hate the stuffy atmosphere! That's why ya hate coming here!"
"DUH-UH." They said in unison. (waaah! freaky twin thing!)
"Rude much?" Gaara asked disinterestedly.
"Of course!" Hajime said smiling.
"So glad you noticed!" Hotaru grinned.
"Gaara, don't let them draw you in." Haku said with a smile.
"Haku-rei…you can be a real creep...I'm so proud of you!" Hotaru grinned, glomping him tightly.
"Way ta go little dude!" Hajime grinned, slapping the younger boy on the back, "Didn't think ya had it in ya!"
"'taint nothin' ta be proud of, bub." Kakashi said, waving a hand dismissively.
"Don't listen to them Haku." Zabuza growled good naturedly (just kidding, really!)
"Why did you bring us here of all places?" Itachi groaned in annoyance (almost forgot he was here for a minute dincha?)
"Cuz as long as we're here, they can't touch us." Hajime said, stetching his arms over his head, "Cuz within these grounds, th' family head's word is absolute law."
"Huh." Sasuke smirked, "Convenient."
"Yeah, well-"
Hajime stopped short as a chill shot down his spine.
He whipped his head around and found himself staring into the overlarge taxidermied eyes of a Trophy Koi that was over six feet long.
He swore he saw it move.
It gave him the creeps.
"Bro! Hurry up, you lazy sunnavabitch!"
Hotaru's voice cut through his freaked out haze and he whipped his head around to face her.
"Shut yer fuckin' mouth, ya ya two-ton whore!" he snarled.
"Then hurry your donkey raping ass up!" Hotaru growled back ferally.
"Yeah, what's the hold up?" Naruto asked him.
"That fish." Hajime shuddered, "It's givin' me the heebies!"
"What fish?" Itachi drawled.
"That fi-huh?"
The koi had disappeared.
"Real funny Ha-chan." Hotaru said sarcastically, rolling her eyes, "Next time come up with something more believable…like a tap dancing crab, or a two headed snake."
Gaara and Haku snorted.
"But I swear-!" Hajime cried.
"You know, you shouldn't be so easily deceived by appearances…Hotaru." an elderly voice croaked.
"Who said that?" Hotaru snapped, eyes darting around the room.
-FWOOSH-
-FWAK-
-BAK-
-thp-
-tp-shp-
(Authoress: Hookay. What just took place is this: the owner of the mysterious voice leapt out the shadows; they then attacked Hotaru; Hotaru blocked; mysterious person landed; Hotaru landed and shifted her weight to face her attacker. That's what happened! Thank you!)
"…Gramps?" Hajime said, raising his eyebrows in disblief at the stranger.
It was an Olllllllllld man, who's voice betrayed his age even if his face didn't (he doesn't look a day over 49).
He was verrrrrry tall, with longwhitehair (pulled into a high ponytail)that refused to give up the fight,along white mustache and beardand had a knobby cane that he really didn't appear to need.
-DMF-
"Ho. Still alive, huh Old Freak?" Hotaru sneered, grinding her heel into her Great Grandfather's back.
"Such disrespect!" he cried.
"Who's the head of the family here?" she asked coolly.
The old man fell silent.
"She's got you there." Kakashi grinned from behind his book.
"You should really respect your elders, Firefly." another croaky, elderly voice said.
"Huh?" Itachi said dully as a blur shot over his head.
A woman, who appeared to be as old as (if not older, if that's possible) appeared in front of them.
She had long white hair as well that fell well past her hips and eyes that were lined wisdom (she too, doesn't look her age; appears about 40)
"…Old Ghoul…" Hotaru said in an overly bright voice, "I think I'll kill you."
She cracked her knunkles loudly, kicked her Great-grandfather out of the way (into a statue of Buddha of all things) and stomped toward her Great-grandmother.
Hajime quickly restrained her (or was trying to).
"Hi-chan! Cool it!" He cried as she thrashed violently (kicking him in the groin and elbowing him in the chin in her attempt to escape; ouchkibbibles)
"Ooooooh." The time traveling Shinobi groaned as one (hands instinctively going their crotches)
Hajime fell to the floor gasping for air.
Hotaru lifted the old lady clean off the floor.
"You mean to tell me…" Hotaru growled, "That we have had family among the living all this time…and you let us think you were DEAD?"
"Heh heh heh." The old woman chuckled.
"I was just kidding before." Hotaru smiled, "But now I think I really WILL KILL YOU OLD GHOUL!"
"Whoa now!" the old woman said, breaking free.
"QUIT BREATHING MY AIR AND TAKING UP PRECIOUS SPACE AND DIE OLD GHOUL!" Hotaru shrieked, chasing after her.
"Yeesh." Kakashi said, "I forgot just how pissed that girl can get."
"I'm…not scared." Naruto said unconvincingly.
Itachi nodded (a look of apprehension flickering across his face)
"Speak for yourselves." Zabuza snorted, "That bitch scares the shit out of me."
"Mm-hm." Haku nodded in agreement.
Gaara just looked on as the situation continued to unfold with amusement.
Meanwhile- Outside…
'"We've located the jinchuriki, sir."'
'"Excellent."'
'"But how can we get to them?"'
'"That's right."'
'"As long as they're on these grounds, that girl has all the power."'
'"Not to worry. I've already taken care of that little factor."'
Back inside…
"Training?" Hajime wheezed (almost recovered from his twin's kick to the nads)
"You were on a training mission in Nepal?" Kakashi asked mildly.
Everyone who wasn't from the current timestream thought at the same time, "Where the Hell is Nepal?"
"Mm-hm." The old man replied, "On the summit of Mt. Everest."
"Where th' FUCK is Mt. Everest?" the time traveling Shinobi wondered.
"And you never thought, in all those years to maybe, oh, send a letter along?" Sasuke asked derisively.
"You try convincing a pair of Sherpas to walk up and down a mountain over and over again just to get the mail." The old woman said snidely.
"It doesn't go over well, does it?" Zabuza snickered.
"Not particularly. No." the old man said with a smirk.
"I hate to be rude…" Haku interrupted, "But what are your names?"
Hotaru sighed.
"I guess it's about time for introductions. This is my Great-grandmother, Izanami-"
"Good to meet you." the old woman tilted her head slightly in acknowledgement.
"-and my Great-grandfather, Amidamaru."
"Nice ta meetcha, boys." The old man grinned cheekily.
"These two were some of th' only people, outside a our parents, who treated us decent." Hajime grinned.
"For good reason, too." Hotaru sighed, "The Old Ghoul here houses the Nibi no Nekomata, and the Old Freak is the vessel for the Rokubi no Raiju."
"Hey…now that I think about it, th' only ones nice ta us growin' up we're th' direct family of th' jinchuriki's an' th' jinchuriki themselves." Hajime said thoughtfully.
"No shit, Sherlock." Hotaru said derisively.
Gaara sighed, turning his attention away from the current situation as everyone else got better acquainted (Itachi was forced into it)
He then noticed a strange movement among the tree branches.
There wasn't any winds whatsoever that day; the air was dead.
Some flew past him, barely grazing his ear, and bounced across the floor.
"What the-?" he gaped.
He recognized them instantly.
"BOMBS!" He yelled as the fuses reached theirend.
"…toooo late." Naruto moaned.
-BA-KOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM-
"AAAAGGH!"
"KOF! KOF! KOF! KOF!"
"T-T-TEAR GAS!"
"OUTSIDE! OUTSIDE!"
The party ran without hesitation out of the Main House and off it's grounds, into the surrounding forest.
'"Now we have them."'
'"I see."'
'"Ingeneous."'
"Stupid is more like it." One member thought.
'"Well let's hurry and catch our quarry.""
"Uh-huhh…huhh-uhh…ulk…oh, I think I'm going to puke." Hotaru groaned, pressing the top of her head against the tree she was leaning against, before sliding down it, fingers digging into the dirt.
"Muh-muh-me…uhh-ulk-uhh…too." Naruto moaned, on all fours, a few feet away from her.
"Buhh-uhh…huhh-uhh…glk…ulg…" Gaara choked (too far gone, probably gonna puke)
Hajime didn't reply.
He was behind a boulder, puking his brains out.
The Uzumaki Twin's Great-grandparent's were also on the verge of being sick.
"What's wrong with them?" Haku asked Zabuza, "We took lungfuls of that stuff too, so how come we're not getting sick?"
"They must be more sensitive to it because of the demons they house." Zabuza supplied.
"Yes. I assume their sense of smell must be highly acute." Kakashi said from behind his book.
"Glad I'm not them." Sasuke muttered with a tiny smirk.
"Juh-jerk." Hajime grunted, wiping his mouth on his sleeve as he emerged from behind the rock pile (rather unsteadily)
"Sorry." Sasuke replied (doesn't look a bit sorry)
"Kyuubi. Shukaku. Give yourselves up quietly."
The rather ill, teary-eyed demon carriers glanced upward as the Uzumaki Seeker Ninja's came dropping down from the trees like apples.
"Well, this isn't a very happy situation." Haku said with a rather forced smile.
"Not at all." Zabuza agreed.
Itachi sat down on a nearby rock to watch (hoping the Uzumaki twins would be killed; forgetting that they were his ticket home)
Kakashi sighed heavily.
"I'm never gonna finish my book at this rate!"
(A/N: More of the Uzumaki's past is revealed (responding to a request from ABC-chan). The Uzumaki's fight to keep their lives and protect their futures (or, in essence, defending those who were dragged back with them) A terrifying transformation. A startling confession. ((Random Readers: Wow. So dramatic. ...where's the funny, tho'? This is s'posda be a humor fic.))((Authoress: SHUDDUP! IDDLE BE THERE! STOP RIDIN' MY ASS, ALREADY! Yeesh!)) R&R!)
(DISCLAIMER: I give all credit to the discriptions given below to no Nekomata-nekomata is a Japanese mythological creature, believed toevolve from domesticated cats. It was believed that after a cat reached ten years of age, its tail would slowly split into two tails, and along the way would develop magic powers, primarily those of necromancy and shamanism. By gesturing with its tails or with its forepaws (as it walked upright), nekomata were said to animate and control the dead.1 Nekomata in the wild were also said to feed on the corpses as carrion, as well.
Though nekomata were normally assumed to behave with the same aloof manner as normal cats, they were known to hold grudges (especially older, mistreated cats, which tended to be more powerful than the average nekomata). To gain revenge, these nekomata usually controlled the tormentors' dead relatives, haunting them until the nekomata was appeased with food, apologies and attention.
Lastly, some Japanese folk tales said that nekomata could shapeshift and become human in appearance; however, unlike the more common nekomusume, nekomata women tended to look older, display bad habits in public and always had an air of dread around them, which if around people for an extended period could cause disease and pestilence. 2
One prominent example of the nekomata in recent fiction is Kirara, the pet of Sango in the manga and anime series InuYasha; however it should be noted that Kirara does not exhibit the traditional traits of the nekomata. Another example is the Pokémon Espeon. The best example however is Matamune from the anime/manga Shaman King
Rokubi no Raiju-
Raiju ("thunder animal") is a demon from Japanese mythology. Its body is composed of either lightning or fire and may be in the shape of a cat, tanuki, monkey, or weasel. It may also fly about as a ball of lightning or fire (in fact, the demon may be an attempt to explain the phenomenon of ball lightning). Its cry sounds like thunder.
Raiju is the companion of Raiden, the Shinto god of lightning. While the demon is generally calm and harmless, during thunderstorms, it becomes agitated and leaps about in trees, fields, and even buildings (trees that have been struck by lightning are said to have been scratched by Raiju's claws).
Another of Raiju's peculiar behaviors is sleeping in human navels. This prompts Raiden to shoot arrows at Raiju to wake the creature up, and thus harms the person in whose belly the demon is resting. Superstitious people therefore often sleep on their stomachs during bad weather. Other legends say that Raiju will only hide in the navels of people who sleep outdoors.
Several creatures in anime and manga are inspired by Raiju, such as the Pokémon Raikou and the "Thunder" card in Card Captor Sakura.