(A/N: Hi! Lady Hiran here! Sorry this took forever! I hope you enjoy it! PEACE!)
-SPLOORSH-
"GLUGH!" Kazune-Kakashi choked as a bucketful of water came splashing over his head.
Wiping the liquid out of his eyes, he raised his eyes to see Hotaru, bucket slung over her shoulder, sneering in a way that made him feel more than slightly afraid.
"Awake, are we?" she smirked, booting him out of bed with a sharp kick to the tail bone, "Just in time for you to wash the sheets!"
"Wuh-wuh-huh?" Kazune-Kakashi sputtered, nowhere near awake.
"You heard me." She grinned evilly, "You spooge them up, you clean them up."
Hotaru then marched out of the bedroom, Kazune-Kakashi gaping after her.
"She…can not…be serious…right?" he thought.
"You have ten minutes." Hotaru called back into the room.
Kazune-Kakashi then scrambled to get the sheets off the bed and into the washing machine, almost forgetting to treat the stains.
"Congratulations." Hotaru drawled sarcastically, not looking up from apply a thick layer of black eyeliner, "You now have fifteen minutes to make me breakfast. Go."
"I don't buh-lieeeeeeve this!" he thought internally as he scrambled around the kitchen in a mad attempt to locate everything, "What the hell is her deal?"
Fifteen minutes later, breakfast was ready, looked rather nice and was actually edible.
Hotaru sauntered out of the bathroom, make up on and proceeded to eat without so much as a thank you.
He began to lift his fork when he felt a sudden sharp stabbing pain rip through his hand.
Hotaru hand brought the handle of the butter knife she held crashing down onto his knuckles.
"Did I give you permission to stuff your gaping trap?" she drawled.
"N-no…" Kazune-Kakashi said carefully.
"So why are you eating?" she asked coldly.
"Wuh-well I-!" he stammered.
"No buts!" Hotaru snarled, "My house, my food, my rules! You WILL abide by them!"
She then pulled back the butter knife and continued eating her breakfast.
What was the deal?
She was making him cower in fear like a frightened little girl!
That did it.
"Alright!" Kazune-Kakashi growled, slamming his palm against the table, "What the fuck is going on?"
Hotaru sliced through another sausage link and smirked up at him.
"Payback." She smirked, "What you did last night? It qualifies as rape."
"Geh-heh?" he choked.
He couldn't believe what he was hearing.
Hotaru?
Bringing HIM up?
On RAPE CHARGES?
Hotaru set down her knife and fork, wiping her mouth.
"If you'll recall…" She said, wiping her mouth with a napkin, "…I asked you repeatedly to stop. You chose not to."
Hotaru pressed her palm against the table and leaned forward, so her nose almost grazed his.
A thrill of panic shot through his veins as he tried not to fall out of his chair.
"Besides…don't you know my credo?" she smirked, "You fuck with me…you're stuck with me."
Kazune-Kakashi's face contorted with horror.
"So if you don't want me to turn you into the police for rape, you had better be a good boy." Hotaru snickered pulling away.
Kazune-Kakashi thought he was going to die.
"I think I've traumatized him enough." Hotaru mused as she got out of her chair and turned her back on him, "He won't try that shit again."
"Hey…Kakashi-perv…or whatever the fuck your name is now?" she called over her shoulder in a commanding voice.
"Y-yeah?" he mumbled.
Hotaru turned around, a wide foxish grin on her face.
"SIKE!" she laughed.
His jaw dropped.
"You really think I'm that evil?" Hotaru asked, eyes sparkling with happiness, "I'm touched!"
"YOU BITCH!" Kazune-Kakashi roared, face reddening.
"And proud!" She grinned wickedly, "Can I help you?"
It took all of Kazune-Kakashi's restraint not to throttle her.
"Pfft! Hee hee hee!" she giggled, "Just consider this a…stern warning of sorts."
"Stern…warning?" he gaped.
"Yup!" she grinned, wrapping her arms around his neck, "To make sure you that you fully understand that no doesn't mean, 'GO FOR IT, DUDE! SHE TOTALLY WANTS YOU!' or 'Maybe.' It means, say it with me-!"
"No." Kazune-Kakashi sighed, "You know, I really need to teach you the meaning of the word, tact."
Hotaru looked up at him and glowered.
"You have no sense of humor." She sulked.
"No, I have a sense of humor." He said, pulling her into his lap, "It's just that my sense of humor isn't warped."
"Shut up." Hotaru said huffily.
"Soo…are we a-" Kazune-Kakashi began before he was cut off.
"No." Hotaru snapped, shifting of his lap, "Your way too big of a horndog for my taste."
"You really expect me to believe that?" he snorted.
"Yup!" she grinned.
"You realize I don't…right?" Kazune-Kakashi said, raising an eyebrow.
"Yup!" Hotaru smiled.
"And I'm gonna follow you like that creepy stalker Kyo-Shun-oh whatever the hell his name was!" he said growing more and more irritated by the second.
"Yup!" she smirked.
"So why aren't we a couple again?" Kazune-Kakashi sighed tiredly.
Hotaru turned to look at him and smiled.
She poked a finger in his face.
"Because you're a perverted lech…and I'm a goth, both in brains and appearance!" Hotaru grinned.
"How 'bout a wager then?" he said slowly as the thought formed in his head.
"A bet?" she asked, ears perking up (it's the kyuubi; fox spirits are compulsive gamblers) "What kind of a bet?"
"I bet I can get you to become my steady by the end of this week!" Kazune-Kakashi declared.
"Oh really?" Hotaru smirked, a horribly wicked idea forming in her own mind, "Well I bet I can turn you gayer than Elton John, Carson Crestly, Ellen Degenneres and Ryan Seacrest!"
Kazune-Kakashi twitched slightly, then composed himself.
"What do I get if I win?" He asked.
"My undying love and affection." Hotaru smiled, "How about me? What do I get?"
"I'll stop riding your ass." Kazune-Kakashi replied.
"Yeah, and start riding others! HAHAHA! Deal!" she howled through tears of laughter, "Oh, and Kakashi-perv?"
"Yes?" he asked.
"STOP GROPING MY ASS!"
-SMMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK-
(A/N: It's on! Kakashi Vs. Hotaru! Kakashi trying to win Hotaru, Hotaru trying toturn him in more ways than a New Jersey turnpike! Who will be declared the ultamite victor? I'm not sure yet! All I know is it's gonna take alot more than two chapters to find out! R&R!)