Coming in from the cold
by: Ozzyols
Character(s): Josh, Donna, Leo, Annabeth, Matt, Helen
Pairing(s): Josh/Donna
Category(s): Romance
Rating: TEEN
Summary: "finally he came to the conclusion that today he had turned into that which he had mocked… a gomer!"
Spoiler: all up to 7.13
Feedback: Yes Please.
Disclaimers: I own nothing – but merely play with it all. No copyright intended on characters or songs in this work. Big thanks to Caz my Beta – Batman and Robin have nothing on us! This will probably become AU as of Sunday March 19 2006, but we can all live in hope.
Josh found her alone at the back of the hotel lounge bar with a drink of carnival proportions sitting in front of her.
It had been an hour since Donna had excused herself from the table and had 'forgotten' her key – right in front of him. The best offer he had ever had had been pushed towards him and he'd hesitated a moment too long. He should remember to send something nice to Ronna and Edie… Hemlock sprang to mind.
He'd been an idiot, and worse than that he'd been a coward. He knew what room she was in; she'd made it more than perfectly clear that she wanted him to follow her… but he hadn't. Instead he'd remained seated with the others watching her disappear from sight.
He'd paid little attention to what had been said after that; nodding occasionally, keeping up the pretense that he had any interest in what the others were talking about. In reality he was busily replaying the events of the day over in his mind… finally he came to the conclusion that today he had turned into that which he had mocked… a gomer!
What had happened? The day had started so damned well!
The news that morning… the amazing news that they had pulled even with Vinick nationally… he didn't think that it could get any better than that!
Trust Donna to be the one to prove him wrong!
It had been impulse that had driven him at first. Little sleep and great news had caused him to do the first thing that came into his head as suddenly, after eight years, his brain had finally run out of reasons to think it was a bad idea, allowing his heart to take control of his senses and he had kissed her. He had kissed Donna. Really KISSED her… He could only guess at what a first smack high felt like, but in his mind…what drug could possibly compare to the high that came from kissing Donna? Yes he was addicted, and he had finally realized that his addiction was her. And to his utter amazement it hadn't seemed be a one sided affair. She had very unmistakably kissed him back.
Of course, just when things were starting to get interesting, company had arrived. Given the way she had responded to him all bets were off as to where they might have ended up if the Congressman and posse hadn't interrupted. The question now was – did he still have the chance to find out tonight?
But that morning, the moment had passed, they went back to work and he and Donna had just… moved on… His attempt at a conversation in the car had been an unmitigated disaster; he had stumbled over his tongue like a high school freshman. He didn't know how or when to approach her. He was certain… well pretty certain…he thought… that she'd been an eager participant in those kisses – but – what if he was wrong? What if he had misjudged the situation? Had that morning just been another huge Josh Lyman shaped blunder?
And more importantly, how long had he waited for this opportunity? He could still remember how, on the day they'd met, Donna had looked up at him with determination filling her eyes and a stubborn tilt to her chin – and challenged him as to why a campaign for the presidency couldn't be about new starts and self-discovery.
Josh had been stunned – and a little awed by her pretty ballsy response: after all, she'd just walked in and set herself up in his office! But as he had stood there, watching her answer his phone, Josh had suddenly realized that a big part of his life was going to involve Donnatella Moss.
At the time he was in no way prepared to admit it to himself that anything had happened other than he had hired an assistant. He was too focused on where the journey with the Governor was taking him – and so, like many other personal things, he'd buried that odd little feeling deep within himself. So deep in fact that it would take something pretty monumental to trigger it. From then on that feeling would surface at the strangest of moments to remind him of how much her being in his life had helped to shape him into the man he had become.
Donna had been there with him, for him, for the best part of eight years, celebrating with him in his moments of triumph – and shoring him up in his moments of failure.
He wasn't sure he could identify the exact moment that he had fallen in love with her. And he certainly couldn't work out why it had taken him so long to do anything about it. But that morning – was it really just that morning? – borne of a moment of excitement, when weeks of teeth grinding frustration had come to an end – he had finally allowed himself to let go and try to tell her how he had felt for so very long.
Then… he'd apologized for it! And then compounded it by tonight's little farce. In her eyes, his actions must have looked like a flat out rejection. You schmuck!
The truth was… he was scared. That was why he had hesitated that moment too long. He wasn't good at this. This wasn't his thing.
He had spent so much of his life trying to battle the maelstrom of conflicting emotions that made up who he was as a person that when anyone started to get too close he did the only thing he knew how… he hid.
When Joanie died, Josh had learnt his first lesson on how painful love could be. Afterwards he had retreated into himself determined that he would never allow anyone or anything make him to feel that sort of pain again.
Love hurt. It always did. Josh didn't have many friends. In his game you didn't make that many. So he couldn't understand why, after years of pushing them away, he had somehow managed to fall in love with so many people in his life, only to have any number of them betray that love in return. Joanie had gone away – his Dad, too, The President had concealed his MS; Leo; Joey; Amy; Toby... and yes, even Donna. Every single time he let himself get close to someone they hurt him just the same. So Josh had learned to love with a wary heart. It wasn't that he was incapable of love – it was just that now he tried to avoid it, and when he couldn't avoid it, he tried hard not to show it.
But love was not so willing to give up on Joshua Lyman apparently. And despite his best efforts, people still had come into his life and wormed her way… their way… into his heart.
Josh had been pretty careful to keep his relationships with women fairly casual. Sex had always been more about the physical than the emotional for him, and he kept it that way by conscious choice. Donna's analysis of his dating style – 'randomly bumping into women and hoping they broke up with him' was terrifyingly accurate. Even before he asked a woman out on a date, Josh put up the protective walls around his heart. He was his own worst enemy – and he knew it. He had once told Amy that he had missed something, because he never learned what to do after you think you liked someone. He hadn't been lying. He really didn't know.
Throughout college and his earlier working life, Josh had made a deliberate effort to keep people at arm's length. If they couldn't get close to you, they couldn't hurt you. That was why politics was so perfect for him. In politics – especially his brand of politics – it wasn't a prerequisite to be a loving person. In fact having a little bit of the cold hearted bastard on your resume was usually a distinct advantage. An advantage that Josh had honed to a fine edge over the years.
And up until this morning everything had been fine. It was how he liked it. At some point in his life Josh had become the living manifestation of the old Simon and Garfunkel song 'I am a rock, I am an Island.' And a rock feels no pain, and an Island never cries.
And now he stood here, watching Donna take a long sip from her fluffy looking drink….
The very idea of letting someone into his heart terrified him. That sort of commitment would require them to know everything – would require him to give up everything that was inside him – Every doubt and fear. Every hurt and humiliation. Even every secret longing. It wasn't something he was even sure he knew how to do.
But it was about time he found out.
Sucking in a deep breath Josh suddenly found himself rooted to the spot, fear clenching his insides with an icy hand. Move you stupid fool, move! You know where she stands. Go for it… nothing ventured and all that crap.
For what seemed an eternity, his body refused to obey his commands. Finally, Josh got his legs going again and he started walking towards Donna's booth. This is good he thought – so why then did he suddenly feel like he was about to step out onto some very thin ice. Possibly because his history with women had been less than spectacular – and given that now he was walking towards possibly the most important discussion of his life… the potential for him to make an ass of himself in the next few moments was pretty high. But if he was willing to take the plunge for anyone – Josh knew it would be for her.
The room was lit like something out of a film noir. Down lights flooded the tables dotted around the edge of the room, leaving a wide parquet–tiled dance floor in the centre. At the west end of the room, just near the dance floor was a riser with a baby grand on it. The pianist tinkled out well loved classics, his fingers flying over the keys following the all too familiar patterns of notes. Semi circular booths lined the three remaining walls, each one illuminated by a single down light. And there, bathed in the soft white glow of the light was Donna. Leaning forward with both elbows on the table and her fisted hands propping up her head, she sipped her 'Carmen Miranda-esque' drink through a straw. Josh was reminded again of the naïve girl who'd commandeered his office all those years ago – and felt the corners of his lips curl into a grin at the image. Tucking his hands into his pockets Josh Lyman sauntered over to his former assistant.
"Hi" he said softly.
She glanced up at him, cool blue eyes meeting his own.
"Hi," she said before looking back down at her drink, all but ignoring him.
"I went up to your room."
"I wasn't there."
"So I noticed." He tried to keep his voice light, but she refused to look at him and kept staring at her drink.
"Look, Donna, about earlier…." he started.
"It's alright, Josh." She cut him off holding up one perfectly manicured hand
"I just wanted to apologize..."
"You don't have to." Her eyes flicked to his face and back to her drink. "I told you not to worry about it. I understand if this is uncomfortable for you."
Josh suddenly realized what Donna was referring to. He slid quickly into the booth next to her.
"Oh – God, Donna – No! No, no, no… no, you have it all wrong."
He reached over and grabbed her hand, clasping it between his.
"I'm not trying to apologize for this morning." She raised her head to meet his gaze.
"I don't want to apologize for this morning ever again…" his voice trailed off. "I wish I hadn't…" This time it was he who lowered his eyes.
"I'm apologizing for this evening… I was a fool… I wanted… to come after you…I should have come after you… I'm sorry."
There. He had said it, and not just to himself. Josh kept his eyes firmly on the suede of the bench seat between them. He didn't want to look up; he didn't want to know what he would find in those wonderfully expressive eyes. He did notice however, that she hadn't pulled her hand away from his. Could he allow himself a little hope? He tried not to squeeze too tightly as he waited apprehensively for her to respond.
All of a sudden he felt the lovingly soft caress of her fingers stroke down his right cheek and continue under his chin, gently raising it in the process. Ever so slowly his eyes followed where his face was being led. He saw the material of the black trousers and pale pink blouse she had changed into. His gaze registered the exquisitely elegant curve of her neck, the flawless shape of her jaw, those lips – so perfect and soft, he now knew - the porcelain complexion of her skin, glowing under the light – highlighting the little freckles across the bridge of her nose… he savored every little detail, until finally coming to rest on those eyes.
Those eyes… those eyes he'd found himself falling into when she looked at him a certain way – that he had been afraid to meet for more than a second or two in case she saw into him and realized exactly what he felt for her – those eyes that he now longed to see doing just that –looking into his heart. Swallowing hard, he looked deep into those blue eyes and found that they didn't hold any of the distain, annoyance or any number of other emotions he was expecting to find. In those eyes, right now, he saw something more wonderful than he could ever have imagined. Hope. Loving, yearning, hope. She smiled, and the light in her eyes exploded with a joy unparalleled in nature.
His heart did a little flip-flop in his chest as he waited for her to speak.
"There, was that so hard to say?" she asked quietly, as she moved her free hand down to place it on top of his.
Josh felt as though a monumental weight had been suddenly flung from his shoulders, and he answered her smile with one of his own. Step one out of the way.
Donna had come into the bar to get drunk. She'd told the barman outright that she wanted something that would make her head spin. The concoction that had been presented to her looked like a fruit basket on speed.
She'd eyed it suspiciously.
What's in it?
Do you want your head to spin?
Yes.
Then don't ask.
Whatever it was, it was sweet, it was fruity, it was full of alcohol… and she just couldn't face it. She'd been contemplating getting up and heading back to her room when Josh had turned up at her table.
Donna couldn't be mad at Josh. Well… she could – and she had been on any number of occasions, but she could never stay that way.
This, right here, was a perfect example of why. Sitting in front of her was a fully grown man whose expression could only be described as being like that of a little boy who'd just been scolded.
His forehead was wrinkled, his wonderfully deep brown eyes pleading with her to make it right. His eyes got to her every time. For all he hid, for all he blustered, his eyes would give him away. If you looked closely enough, everything was there – everything he couldn't or wouldn't say. She had never really believed the old adage that the eyes were the windows to the soul – until she met Josh Lyman.
In his eyes she could see everything; every hurt he had endured, every success, every failure. And yet, for all that, there was always one tiny part that had remained guarded, tense. Sometimes, on those rare occasions she had caught him watching her, she'd thought, for the briefest of instants… that she'd seen a flicker of… something. But then the walls would snap back into place and she would be left with memories… and yearnings…
For the better part of six years Donna had toyed with the idea that those glances meant something more than friendship. In the early days, when she'd been prepared to admit to herself that she had a huge crush on her boss, Donna had had her fantasies of Josh professing his love in the most outrageous situations. In her mind's eye he had done so in every imaginable situation – some had been very touching – others down right screamingly funny.
But any chance they may have had of becoming... more to each other had been abruptly swept aside with the arrival of Amy Gardner. So Donna had started to resign herself to the fact that her relationship with Josh was destined to be nothing more than friendship, Amy and Josh had broken up and Donna found reason to hope again. But then it was time to focus on the election and with everyone running full throttle towards it there was little time for anything else.
When Jack had come on the scene Donna had tried to push her thoughts of Josh to the side. And when that relationship had fallen apart, Donna found herself watching – longing – for those little glances again. But then Amy had come back for a second bite of the apple. This time Donna was convinced that she was destined to be nothing more than a friend to Josh Lyman. Then, she had gone to Gaza and everything changed.
She had gone on the CODEL because Josh had offered; she had slept with Colin, because he had offered. But when she had woken in that hospital room in Germany, it wasn't Colin she wanted to see. And she hadn't been disappointed. She had opened her eyes and the first thing she had seen was Josh's careworn, stubbly face. She'd learned later that he'd dropped everything, left the White House without so much as a change of clothes and boarded the first flight he could get to Germany. He had come to her. Through the grogginess induced by the pain killers she had seen him, his face, his eyes, brimming with concern, and yes, again she thought something more.
When she had returned to the States, Donna had hoped something would change. He had been so… 'not-Josh' in Landestuhl. She had allowed herself to hope again… only to find everything falling into the same old patterns. Finally, Donna couldn't stand the situation any more. It hurt too much. She was ready to move forward and Josh seemed to be determined to preserve the status quo – so she'd decided she needed a break. That was probably the closest she had ever come to hating Joshua Lyman. And she would never do it again.
Their road to recovery had been bumpy for sure. The fact that he refused to hire her the first day she had gone to see him still stung a little – even though she was pretty sure she understood his reasons. Once the anger and hurt had disappeared she could look at things objectively. Three days after the convention, the nominee's manager hires the face of the Russell campaign – he couldn't have hired her even if he had wanted to. And she had gotten the feeling he had…
But now they were together again – the same, but different. And as of this morning… very different. The first kiss had been a surprise; the second had turned her legs to jelly. She was glad he had held on to her because she didn't think her knees could have taken much more. It seemed he was finally ready to take the next step which was why she had given him the key – and yet he had turned down her invitation. Had she been too pushy?
And now, an hour later, here he was, sitting in front of her wearing his best hangdog expression, words tumbling out his mouth as he tried to tell her how he felt, and how he was so afraid that he had screwed things up even before they had begun. He wasn't shunning her, he wasn't backing away now, he was here and he was very real.
As the story of the classic "missed it by that much" Maxwell Smart moment with the key came to light, Donna couldn't help but see the funny. It was classic Josh.
She smiled.
"So – did you end up sending Vinick the big German nurse?"
Josh's dimples appeared as he grinned boyishly.
"Nah… thought about it." He paused, mischief twinkling in his eyes. "But I did send the vapor rub, and some Cod Liver Oil"
"Josh!" Donna gasped. "You didn't!"
"Hey – he's not going to know who sent it!"
"I think Bruno will have a pretty good idea!" She sighed. "You're a bad man!"
"Well, y'know!" He shrugged, his grin growing wider.
"So. Where to from here?" she asked as a waiter brought over the drink Josh had ordered.
"I was talking to the Congressman on the way over. We may be tied nationally, but I'm still not confident with the numbers that are coming out of California, Arizona, and Oregon. We still need to get him and Leo out there, ride the wave while we have the momentum."
Donna nodded. "Did you get a chance to talk to Leo about his meeting with the President?"
Josh shook his head as he sipped his drink. "Not yet." He paused and looked over towards the piano on the riser. "Was it just me, or was it a little weird there today? CJ and Will kept giving me the strangest looks"
Donna half snorted back down the straw of her drink, causing it to bubble and froth like a cauldron.
"Really?" she squeaked, hoping Josh didn't notice she was starting to blush.
Josh squinted at her. "Did you see either of them today?" He left the question hanging in the air.
Donna was looking for a convenient out and breathed a sigh of relief as the Congressman, Helen, Leo and Annabeth came into the lounge.
"So this is where you're hiding!" Santos called heartily over the music, as he crossed the dance floor. Reaching their table he held out his hand to Josh. "You did great. Both of you. I know I don't say it enough, but thank you." He looked down at the drinks on the table in front of them. "So what are we drinking?" Helen grabbed her husband by the elbow and started to pull him away.
"Matt, they were enjoying a quiet drink." she commented pointedly. "I think it's time we did the same!" The emphasis on the we was unmistakable. "We'll leave you alone."
Josh made a move to get up, "But… didn't you want to go over…" he was cut short by a look from Helen.
"We'll be over there! You will stay right here. I'm declaring this a Politics Free Zone for the next…." she looked at her watch, "five hours. I've had it up to here with graphs, and charts and electoral math – I don't think I'm ever going to look at a map of the United States the same way again – and I need a break. So no more politics until dawn!"
Donna watched as the Congressman rolled his eyes whilst allowing his wife to lead him away.
"Think we should do as she says?" Josh grinned at Leo and Annabeth, who had remained behind.
"I heard that!" Helen called back to them.
"How did she….?" Josh half squeaked
"Mother of two, Josh… mother of two! Superman doesn't have ears that good." The Congressman sighed as his wife playfully swatted his arm.
Leo chuckled and sat down at the opposite edge of the booth.
"How is he?" Josh asked, suddenly serious.
"The President?" Leo replied.
"Yeah, well I only got to talk to him for a moment this morning, and that was just to have my ass handed to me on a plate."
"Josh, you worked in the place for six years. You should have known better."
"Yeah well," he grinned, "I didn't learn much then, did I?"
"Apparently not." Leo replied dryly
"So anyway.. how…?"
"He was good. He's got this whole China/Kazakhstan thing happening, but he seemed fine."
Donna listened contentedly as Josh and Leo discussed random aspects of the campaign, keeping their voices low so not to incur the wrath of Helen Santos. She smiled as they went back and forth about math and maps and what should be done from here and what Leo had done the first time round. Glancing up, Donna's eye was caught by a movement near the stage, and she saw Annabeth sit down next to the pianist. The young musician finished his number and started talking quietly to Annabeth while playing a random collection of chords and riffs whilst he decided what to play next.
As she watched surprised, he swung the arm of the microphone stand arm across to Annabeth. She wasn't – was she?"
Apparently, she was.
"Good night my someone; Good night my love.
Sleep tight my someone; sleep tight my love."
Her voice was remarkably good. It took the others a few seconds to realize just who was singing, and Donna watched in amusement as both Josh and Leo stopped mid sentence, mouths hanging open. They looked at each other, at Donna and finally at Annabeth who was clearly enjoying herself up on the piano bench seat. All three of them looked over to where the Congressman and Helen were sitting to see that apparently this had come as a surprise to them too.
Leo was the first to recover the power of speech. "Did you know she could sing like that?"
Josh frowned. "With that speaking voice?"
Leo looked shell shocked. "I mean, I've heard her humming occasionally, and she sounded OK. But this?"
"Yeah," was all Josh could manage in response.
The five of them sat mesmerized, as Annabeth continued to sing, applauding enthusiastically when she'd finished.
"Excuse me," Leo said as he got up and went over to join her.
"Wow, that was… unexpected." Josh sighed as he slumped back into the seat.
"But nice, don't you think?"
"Yeah," he grinned as he looked over towards the piano where Annabeth was now speaking to Leo. "Very nice." Josh scooted closer to Donna in the booth and gently draped his arm around her shoulders
As she snuggled into his side she smiled. Yes, it was.
For the next half hour Josh sat there caught between the intoxicating scent of the woman he loved and Annabeth's unexpectedly beautiful voice. As he sipped his drink Josh thought he recognized the tune from an old Fred Astaire movie that he had been forced to sit through by both his mother and Donna at some point in his life. He remembered it had a lot of dancing in it. But then again, what Fred Astaire movie didn't?
Annabeth's singing had triggered a memory from the period of his recovery after Rosslyn. Josh particularly remembered that he had been forced to watch that movie for the second time with Donna during his rehabilitation.
It was about a month before the midterms, and Donna had finally allowed him out of bed for more than just calls of nature. He remembered being ensconced on the couch in his living room for most of the day and finding that Donna had done something to the aerial at the back of the TV that removed his access to the news. She'd told him she didn't want him working himself into a frenzy watching C-Span all day and that she would fix it when he was better. He supposed he could have had a look himself to see if he could get it fixed, or at worse called in a TV repair guy, but to be honest, as much as it had frustrated him to be under her thumb like that – it wasn't a wholly unpleasant feeling either. So instead Josh had spent most of his day reading the pittance of a work load she doled out, and watching 'Donna Approved' movies. It had nearly sent him round the bend.
Relief, however, had come sometime around seven when she had arrived on his doorstep with take out. They had shared a light and, in Josh's opinion far too healthy dinner, and were finishing up with a cup of tea on the sofa in his living room.
No Coffee
You're a cruel woman Donna Moss. Here I am on the long road to recovery…
Yes – and I want you to stay on that road.
He had smiled. Donna's determination not to get him coffee was one of the mainstays of their relationship. And so he had suffered in silence and sat there drinking his tea, his legs propped up on the coffee table in front of him, while Donna had sat at the other end of the sofa, her sweat pant clad legs curled up under her, a mug of tea cradled in her hands.
They had bantered about her need to keep his life in order at work, they had made light of it, but in reality her steadiness was a wonderful constant for him. No matter how insane things got, he could always look to find some comfort in the knowledge that Donna was around
And so, although he had whined a bit about being made to watch an old movie he had already seen once, Josh nevertheless settled down to watch it with her. He hadn't really hadn't been paying that much attention to it – he was still been getting tired easily, and had been quite content to sit there dozing – when for some reason, he'd glanced over at her and caught some of lyrics of one of the songs at the exact same time. It was as if some sort of universal cosmic timing had set him up, and he watched, bemused, as Donna blew and sipped lightly at the tea in the mug, while Fred romanced Ginger with a song…
The way you wear your hat, the way you sip your tea,
The memory of all that, no, no they can't take that away from me.
Josh had squinted and blinked several times, flicking his glance between the TV and Donna, who seemed oblivious to the correlation.
So when he heard those same words being sung by Annabeth, he immediately took notice.
This time, with Donna cuddled in next to him, he listened. This time he took ALL the words in, and was stunned by how amazingly appropriate the choice of song was.
Josh glanced at Annabeth, wondering if for a split second if she could possibly have read his mind and was singing the song just for him. Instead he noticed that her attention seemed to be taken up solely with Leo who had perched himself at a table right next to edge of the stage. Josh felt his eyes widen in surprise as he realized what he was seeing. Annabeth was singing, and it was to an audience of one. Well, who would have guessed?
The way your smile just beams,
The way you sing off key
The way you haunt my dreams
No, no they can't take that away from me.
Shifting his gaze, Josh stared down lovingly at the woman in his arms. Eight years. That had to be some sort of record. He didn't quite know where to go from here… this was completely unfamiliar territory. He was really behind the eight ball when it came to starting a serious relationship.
"Donna?"
She looked up at him, a relaxed expression on her face.
"Yeah?"
"What do we do now?"
"In what way?
"What's our next step?
"I though that's what you and Leo were talking about."
"No, not the campaign… the next step, with…. us"
She pulled back slightly so she could turn and look at him more easily.
"You mean you don't know?" She raised an eyebrow, giving him quirky grin. "I would have thought I made that obvious earlier this evening." She tapped him playfully on the nose.
Josh knew what she meant – and he was certainly keen to take her up on the offer, but still… he had – reservations.
"I mean, after that…"
"I'm thinking breakfast!"
"Donna!" He sighed in exasperation. "I'm trying to be serious here."
"That's pretty boring" she teased with a giggle.
Josh looked down and noticed for the first time that the glass that had held her carnival-style drink was empty save for a couple of cocktail cherries and the little paper umbrella.
"Donna, what was in that thing?" he frowned.
Donna gave him a flirty smile with a slightly glazed look in her eyes.
"I don't know, but he said it would make my head spin." She looked at him and rewarded him with a big toothy smile.
"Don't worry – I'm not as think as you drunk I am."
Josh heard Donna slurring her words and felt his mouth fall open.
Oh my God! Someone up there really hates me!
It was just his luck. He'd finally gotten his act together and she'd gotten wasted!
"This can't be happening to me," Josh muttered.
"What can't?"
"THIS! Geez Donna! I want to…" He was lost for words. "I want…"
"What?" Her voice dropped an octave into a deep throaty purr that did strange things to his knees.
"You… tonight… every night…"
She looked at him for a moment before she threw her head back and laughed.
"What's so funny?" Josh was very confused
"You, you idiot!" Donna's voice lost all traces of intoxication. "Did you think for a moment that after what you said before I was going to get drunk tonight?"
Josh stared at the empty glass and back to her twinkling eyes.
"But you said…"
She waved her hand at him.
"When the guy came to replace our drinks while you and Leo were talking I got him to bring me a non alcoholic one back."
"Oh."
"So what was your question?"
He paused for a moment, then took a deep breath.
"Where do we go from here? Where do YOU want to go from here?"
Josh watched as Donna's eyes softened.
"Wherever you go."
She settled herself back into his side….
"No they can't take that away, they can't take that away.
No they can't take that away… from… me."
No, thought Josh. They can't.
Ok – so she had to admit, it was a cruel trick to play on Josh. But he really did have it coming. Working Josh into a frenzy wasn't particularly hard these days because he was so tightly wound all the time, but he needed someone to remind him to laugh occasionally, and she had elected herself to that position. She allowed herself a small smile. The melodious sound of the piano combined with Annabeth's lovely voice had leeched all the tension from Donna, and for the first time in a long time she felt GOOD. And it felt good to feel good. It was like a warm glow that started somewhere deep inside her and gently radiated a life affirming warmth throughout her body. Of course this could have something to do with the alcohol she had consumed earlier in the evening… but it was more likely due to the fact that Josh had his arm around her shoulders and was gently rubbing his thumb in small circles on the crest of her arm as they sat drinking in the music like a fine wine.
Josh, stroking her… She could have purred… in fact at one point she was pretty sure she had. This crazy rollercoaster of a day hadn't ended so badly after all.
Donna was feeling pretty content with the way things were going when nature called. Actually it screamed. The three fruit 'mocktails' and the wine she had consumed earlier had finally hit, and she made a move to get up.
"What's up?"
"Nothing."
Josh watched her as she started to stand up.
"You leaving?" Traces of concern lit at the corners of his eyes.
"I have to step out for a moment."
He started to rise.
"I'll come with you."
She put her hand on his shoulder.
"No, you won't"
"Why not?"
"Because I don't think you'd be very welcome." She raised both her eyebrows and cocked her head in the direction of the restrooms.
"Oh."
"Yeah, 'oh'. I'll be back in a minute."
"Not likely." Sarcasm tinged his voice as Josh he started to take a mouthful of his drink. She retorted by sticking her tongue out at him and was rewarded with the sight of him snorting most of it back into the glass.
"Try and be a gentleman and get me a hot chocolate, would you?" Picking up her bag from the table she headed towards the door.
Annabeth was still thoroughly enjoying herself up on stage with the young pianist. She watched as Leo, smiling like the cat who got the canary, got up from his table and headed over towards Josh.
Donna was about halfway across the dance floor when she heard her name being called softly. Turning she paused and smiled, allowing Helen to catch up with her.
"Are you…?" Helen nodded in the direction of the 'Restroom' sign.
"Yeah."
"Good, I'll go with you," she said, falling into step with Donna
"Where are the boys?" Donna asked as they reached the door to the restrooms. 'The boys' was the name several of the female staffers used for the plethora of Secret Service agents that were on the Congressman's detail.
"Oh, lurking somewhere I guess."
As if on cue, a dark suited figure emerged from the shadows near the entrance to the restrooms. Donna and Helen both let out an involuntary 'squeak'.
"Rodney!" Helen exclaimed.
"Sorry, ma'am" the agent replied.
"Sorry, my foot!" She grumbled to Donna as they passed Rodney.
"They enjoy doing that far too much!" she said as she pushed the swinging door to the restroom open.
Donna was washing her hands when Helen stepped out of the cubicle behind her.
"You and Josh seem… cozy tonight." Helen commented cautiously as she reached over to pump some soap into her palm.
Out of the corner of her eye, Helen saw Donna make a grab at the tap mixer to turn it off, but in her surprise, twisting it in the wrong direction and sending a jetstream of water up over the edge of the bowl. Jumping back to avoid an unfortunate water mark, Donna managed to lean over and turn the tap off correctly.
Helen eyed the younger woman in the mirror. She'd heard the rumors that ran around the office. She ignored most of them, simply putting them down as office gossip from busybodies who should be doing better things with their time. Of course the comments were always passed behind the behind the backs of those involved and were never made with earshot of any of the senior members of the campaign staff. It had come to Helen's notice however, when she had inadvertently been witness to one particular slap-down by Annabeth and Edie; two young female staffers… or 'kittens-in-heat' as Edie had called them – were getting a bit mouthy about how quickly up the ranks Donna had come. The two girls had been moved to another part of the campaign shortly thereafter.
Helen didn't pay any attention to that sort of water-cooler gossip anyway. She trusted Donna; she had proven herself to be bright, savvy and honest – yes she really liked Donna.
But, despite all that, there was definitely 'something' between Donna and their campaign manager. At first Helen couldn't quite put her finger on it. It was like they were both dancing around something... was it a past relationship that had turned sour? No… she would have heard about that… It was only after talking to Leo that she gained an understanding of the situation between Josh and Donna – which was why she was rather pleasantly surprised to see them so close tonight. Helen would be the first to admit she liked a good, soppy love story as much as the next girl. It was often a long time between campaign stops, and the odd Harlequin romance was as good a way to occupy herself. But she was nonetheless pleased to think that there was a budding romance here – and God knew, Josh needed to lighten up a bit!
"You look good together." Helen stated simply as she washed her hands.
Donna eyed her suspiciously for a moment before she seemed to allow herself to drop her guard.
"Yes…" she hesitated, turning to look at herself in the mirror, resolution and contentment plain on her face. "Yes… we do… we are."
Helen's first comment had come as a bit of surprise. Donna didn't think she was being that obvious, but Helen was an astute woman… and, well, a woman. She supposed that of anybody in the room, Helen would be most the likely to have seen what was going on. At first, Donna's natural reaction was like any other time, her body tensed up and her heart started racing… she had been caught out. But then Helen had finished the comment. You look good together – and she'd realized that for probably the first time it was OK to admit to this… whatever it was. They did look good together. Donna felt as though a weight had lifted from her shoulders – for first time she was free to be openly in love and it felt wonderful. Looking in the mirror she saw a different woman looking back at her – not Donnatella Moss the political player, but Donnatella Moss, woman in love… and she liked what she saw. Will had been right – it might be weird, but it wasn't inappropriate.
A movement in the mirror caught Donna's attention, and she noticed Helen moving behind her. The congressman's wife arched an eyebrow and smiled an enigmatic little smile as she moved over to open the door. Donna felt her own smile form on her lips as she followed her back out into the Lounge.
The seating arrangements had apparently changed slightly during their absence. Josh and Leo had both migrated over to the Congressman's table and whatever they were discussing – they were rather enjoying it.
The two women walked across the dance floor towards them. Leo was obviously regaling the Congressman with some anecdote from the past, and judging from the half-grin-half-wince on Josh's face, she was pretty certain that it involved him. Donna watched as Matthew Santos face went from stunned amazement to open mouthed amusement. As they approached the table Donna heard Leo say –
"…gushing from the head wound you just received from a stampeding herd of bison…" Josh sniggered and joined in the final part of the quote.
"…you'll do the press briefing!"
The two men looked at each other and started to roar with laughter and Donna couldn't help but notice how incredibly… well… hot… Josh looked right at that moment. Casually lounging at the end of the booth, a ginger ale in one hand, his dress shirt open, his tie hanging limply around his neck – Josh looked the most relaxed she had seen him in ages. His face scrunching up as he laughed, his nose wrinkling in that exceptionally adorable way of his, and of course – the dimples were out in full force. Damn… he must have been an adorable baby, Donna though absently.
"Honest to God Leo, I thought he was going to pop me one right there and then…"
"What's all this then?" Helen said in a mock 'mother' tone. "I thought I'd set the rules out over shop talk for the night?"
Matt laughed and reached out a hand towards his wife.
"Leo's just telling old war stories honey. We didn't break your rules."
Josh stood up to let Helen sit down next to her husband, and moved over to Donna's side.
"Thanks Leo!" he grimaced.
"A secret plan to fight inflation, though?" Matt raised his eyebrows.
"Yeah – I still get an e-mail once a month from Sam about that one!" Gesturing towards Leo, he smiled at Donna. "He brought out all my greatest hits!"
Donna bit the inside of her cheek before speaking.
"Letting Josh within fifty yards of any media is a guaranteed recipe for disaster," she giggled.
"Hey! I'm not the one who went toe to toe with a chicken on national television, Ms Moss!"
"I still owe you for that one!"
Josh's boyish grin grew wider.
"OK – after the election we'll get together and settle up accounts."
He glanced over his shoulder at the stage where Annabeth was still having a whale of a time singing her heart out. She had moved on to a song that Donna instantly recognized –it was from the musical Swing Time, an old Fred and Ginger DVD she owned.
Some day, when I'm awfully low,
When the world is cold, I will feel a glow,
Just thinking of you, and the way you look tonight…
Josh took Donna lightly by the hand, leaned over and whispered –
"Come dance with me."
Donna felt her legs turn to water at the low velvet tone in his voice.
Like a wallflower being led onto the floor for the first time, Donna allowed him to guide her out into the middle of the dance floor.
Tenderly, Josh drew her into his embrace. He pulled her close to him, wrapping his right arm around her waist, catching her right hand in his left. Lacing their fingers together, he dropped a light kiss on her knuckles before pressing their hands to his chest. Donna leaned into him, dropping her head onto his shoulder.
They stood there swaying gently to the music. Donna inhaled deeply, wanting to savor everything about this moment, to commit everything to memory. The rigors of the day had all but erased the smell of the cologne Josh would have put on that morning, leaving behind a lingering hint of its former potency tempered with the tantalizing scent that was all Josh.
Donna sighed contentedly, and snuggled in closer, wishing the night would never end.
Even the song was perfect for the moment – right down to the fact that his wrinkled nose did touch her heart. It was as if Annabeth had chosen to sing it especially for her.
"…keep that breathless charm, won't you please arrange it,
for I love you. Just the way you look tonight."
Amen sister, Donna thought to herself.
Josh and Donna kept dancing long after the song had ended, their entwined form silhouetted in the semi darkness like a piece of living art. Annabeth smiled.
She'd had fun. Singing had always been a release for her. Usually it involved a shower and a loofah brush for a microphone however.
The pianist, whose name she had discovered was Tony, kept tinkling away as she rose from the bench seat.
"You're really good, you know that?" he commented.
"This politics thing doesn't work out? Come back – I'll find you a job in a second."
She smiled at him and patted his shoulder.
"You're sweet; deluded, but sweet."
She turned to step down from the stage and found Leo standing at the edge offering his hand.
"Well thank you, kind sir." She grinned and was rewarded with one in return.
"You were amazing."
"Flattery will get you everywhere."
"Oh yeah?" he smirked.
Annabeth feigned a shocked expression.
"You're a bad, bad man Mr McGarry!"
"So I'm told quite frequently."
She started to move towards the booths but Leo apparently had his other ideas.
"Care to take a turn on the floor?"
Annabeth glanced at the now empty dance floor. Looking past Leo, she could see Josh and Donna settling themselves back into the booth they had occupied previously.
"Ok then," she shrugged enthusiastically. "C'mon twinkle toes, show me what you've got!"
Leo's arms were wrapped lightly around Annabeth's diminutive form, her head resting lightly on his chest as they swayed gently in time to the music. It was probably wildly inappropriate all things considered, but it felt good to do this again. The last time he had danced like this had been with Jordan so many moons ago. Annabeth's singing, and now her gentle humming along with the lounge act, soothed his jittery nerves. Today had been a good day. The polling numbers… and then a visit to the White House – it had been too long since he had seen the President. Just… a good day.
Looking over Annabeth's head, Leo took a good look at the two couples in the room. He smiled; it was like looking at a pair of bookends. Off to his right Helen and Matt sat in a booth together. Matt's arms were stretched out along the length of the back of the booth bench, Helen nestled closely into the space under his right arm. Her head was tilted back ever so slightly, her eyes were closed, and there was a dreamy smile on her face. Leo watched as Matt glanced down at his wife and then back up, catching his eye. Matt smiled briefly before pointedly looking across the room towards the other couple; apparently he had noticed them too.
Turning Annabeth mid sway, so as to get a better view, Leo allowed himself an even bigger smile. In a booth along the back wall sat two people who should have been together a hell of a lot earlier than this. Leo wasn't, or hadn't, ever been as blind as he made out about where things stood with his ex-deputy and his assistant. The interplay between Josh and Donna had been so much part of the woodwork when they had been in the White House that nobody who knew them had thought their behavior towards each other was anything out of the ordinary. People knew where the lines were drawn in that bizarre relationship and never mentioned it. Seeing them steaming down a corridor shoulder to shoulder, or watching Donna liberating a French fry from Josh's plate at lunch had become so familiar to everyone that most of the time no-one thought anything of it. But it was easy to understand how it could have been misconstrued by outsiders into something more sordid. After all, how many other high level political operatives were there who had been given post operative care by their attractive young assistant?
From the start Leo – and everyone else who had eyes – had seen what Josh and Donna seemed to be oblivious to – or were denying themselves with the greatest show of restraint know to man – they were head over heels for each other. Leo knew how devastated Josh had been when Donna had left to join Russell's campaign, and he sometimes wondered – if she hadn't gone that blustery winter's day, would he be here at all? Sitting in a hotel bar with a congressman from Texas as the democratic nominee for Vice President? Leo decided that his life would probably have been a hell of a lot easier if he had just handcuffed the two of them together and made them slug out whatever differences they had, or at least been given the opportunity to whack them both upside the head to point out a few home truths. But no, the tragedy that was Lyman and Moss bordered on the Shakespearian. There was something to be said for martyred stoicism but these two took it just a bit too far.
But no, if two near-death experiences couldn't make Josh and Donna face up to the truth of what lay between them, then Leo doubted anything could have done so until they were ready to face it themselves. He'd long suspected that part of the reason they had never crossed the line between friendship and something more was because of the harm it could have done to the Bartlet administration, politically. Because narrow minds would draw conclusions about the nature of their relationship, and God knew, there'd been enough rumors about them over the years. So instead they had ploughed on, the best working relationship since Perry Mason and Della Street.
But the choice had to be theirs – and from what he could see from here, they had finally made it.
Leo allowed himself a chuckle, when this got out there were a lot of people who weren't going let anything screw any chance they had up now – including the outgoing residents of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue!
Like Matt and Helen, Josh and Donna were snuggled closely together in their booth, Donna leaning back into Josh's chest. But whereas Matt's arms were draped across the back of the seat, Josh's were far more engaged. His right arm was wrapped around the shoulders of the woman in front of him – encircling her almost completely, his arm resting across her chest, his left hand absently stroking her hair. A smile played at the edge of his lips, as he gently wrapped his other arm down around and lowered his cheek gently on the top of Donna's head, seemingly oblivious to everything else around him. Equally unaware, Donna turned her head slightly so her cheek rested against Josh's chest, and Leo could see that Donna's left hand had snaked up to the lower part of Josh's right bicep. Whilst absently stroking his arm, Donna's attention was focused solely on the key she was twiddling around in her right hand a mysterious smile forming on her angelic face.
As Leo watched, Josh lightly kissed the top of Donna's head. The key twirling stopped momentarily as Donna looked up and over her shoulder at him, taking in his questioning smile. For two normally talkative people, they'd raised wordless communication to an art form. Donna responded by sitting upright and reaching for her coat which lay draped across the end of the booth. Wordlessly the young couple rose from the booth and moved towards the door, Donna leading Josh gently by the hand.
They didn't move quickly, there was no rush and stumble to get out of the lounge; they just strolled along as though this was something they had done a million times before. As they moved through the semi-darkness past Leo and through the doorway, the words of the song the young piano player was singing caught Leo's attention.
"Then the world discovers as my book ends
How to make two lovers of friends"
Leo sighed heavily and gave his dancing partner a reassuring squeeze as he closed his eyes and let the music move in him as well. It was about damn time.
