(A/N: Hey all! Shinigami Goumon here! Sorry for the wait! Here's the next chappie!)

A black, heavy duty trashbag, almost completely concealed by silver duct-tape,bobbed along the cold Connecticut waterfront, finally coming to a rest on a sand bank.

A pair of small children playing along the water spotted the bag and naturally were curious.

"Hey, bwudda! Was dat!" a little girl cried dashing up to the gray and black blob.

"I dunno!" he replied.

The two stared it for a moment before beginning to prod the duct-taped bag with rather sharp, pointy sticks.

-pikupiku­-

"AK!" the girl squealed, flying back.

"It moved!" the boy cried.

The two clung to each other, quaking in fear for a few minutes, neither saying a word.

The two stared at the bag as the little boy got to his feet.

The little boy started for it again, not about to be bested by a bag.

"Towwi! Noo!" the little girl cried.

The little boy known as Tory, poked it with the stick again.

-pikupikupiku­-

"HAHAHAHAHA!" Tori laughed, "Wow!"

"Stop it, Towwi!" the little girl cried, "I'm tellin' Mommy!"

"Quit bein' a baby, Meewwa!" Tori snapped.

"I am nodda baby!" Mira sobbed.

"Ah too!" Tori taunted.

"Ah not!" Mira bawled.

"Th'n quit yuh cwyin'!" Tori yelled, "I'll be fahyun!"

He moved to poke it again when­-

-RRRRRRRRRRPP­-

"AAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"Mira screamed.

Itachi's hand had shot through a tiny rip the tip of the twig had managed to create.

From the inside, he tore the bag apart and hefted himself out.

Itachi was now very stiff, as well as very cold and hungry.

And that little girl's screams were becoming rather annoying.

He really wished she would stop.

Without so much as a "Thanks", he ambled off.

"Now then", Itachi thought, "Which way is New Haven?"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?" Kazune-Kakashi coughed, spitting out a mouthful of Heineken.

"ITACHI?" Kei-Iruka cried, almost losing his grip on his glass of Bacardi.

"Yuh-huh." Hotaru growled, profound tic pulsating in her forehead as she took a looooonnnnnnnnnnnnnng swig of Irish Whisky.

"That was MY reaction!" Hajime said incredulously, setting down his Jaegar.

Hotaru and Hajime had met up Kazune-Kakashi and Kei-Iruka and were currently situated at the tavern of a local pub.

The pair had just filled the two in on the details so needless to say, they were a little freaked.

"THERE'S NO WAY!" Kazune-Kakashi shouted, almost flipping his stool as he leapt out of it.

"Way dude." Hajime shuddered, taking a DEEEEEEEEEP swig of his Jaeger, "Ugh, talk about creepy."

"Are you certain?" Kei-Iruka asked worriedly, sipping his Bacardi, "Are you positive it isn't just another stalker in disguise?"

"Yuh-huh." Hotaru said, a frustrated edge in her voice as she raked her fingers through her hair, "Magekyo Sharingan…effeminate ponytail…Sasuke-plex the size of Texas...unbuh-lieeeeevably creepy chakra.Definitely our Itachi."

She drank deeply from her flagon of Irish Whisky.

"BUT OUTTA THE BLUE? JUST LIKE THAT?" Kazune-Kakashi cried, throwing his hands in the air to emphasize his confusion, nearly tipping his Heineken.

Hotaru, Hajime and Kei-Iruka through truly cynical glares in his direction.

"Like YOU'RE one to talk, pervert." They snapped.

"Sh-shut up." He blushed, as Kei-Iruka gave his hand a squeeze.

Absentmindedly, he began to stroke the younger man's ass.

"GEH! PERVERT!" Kei-Iruka screamed.

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF HIM YOU LASCIVIOUS BASTARD!" Hotaru shrieked, punching her former (almost) boyfriend into the wall.

"Guess it's somethin' you hafta ease into, huh?" Hajime said casually, admiring the rather large crater.

"I-I g-g-guess." Kei-Iruka stammered, very red, "I'm still n-not entirely used to the idea."

"Hang in there." Hotaru sighed, "Oh, and work on your uppercut."

"Yeah." Kei-Iruka nodded, "I can see where that would come in handy."

"Ah-ha! I thought that was you!"

The group glanced up.

"Sasuke-jari!"

"Sakura!"

"Naru-pyon!"

"Hina-chan!"

The teen couples smiled good naturedly at their elders, taking seats next to them.

"What all the commotion?" Himawari-Sakura asked.

"Nothin' much." Hajime said lightly.

"Except that your brothers back." Hotaru sighed.

"What…did…you…say?" Sasuke fumed.

"And apparently, now he's after TWO people." Kazune-Kakashi snickered, popping himself out of the wall.

"It's Not FUNNY, Kakashi-perv!" Hotaru snapped, cracking her knuckles loudly.

"A-HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Naruto howled, "He's after-after huh-huh-HER? A-HAHA-!"

-BWAAAK-

"OWWWWWWW!" Naruto sobbed as Hajime and Hotaru performed a very impressive elbow drop.

"SHADDAP YA LITTLE TWERP!" Hajime snarled.

"It ISN'T FUNNY!" Hotaru growled.

"Naruto-kun…" Asahi-Hinata sighed, mortification spreading across her face.

"That comma-eyed freak, no offense Sasuke-jari-"

"None taken." the younger Uchiha nodded.

"-is after both me/my sister and Sasuke-jari! It couldn't be LESS funny if ya watched a crippled person get hit by a car!" Hotaru and Hajime cried.

"You know, I resemble that remark." A voice said mildly.

The entire group turned as one.

"GEEEEEEEEEH! ITACHIII!" Hotaru and Hajime screeched, recoiling backwards, whizzing their arms back to their faces to block the horror that was Itachi.

"YYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUU!" Sasuke snarled, stomping towards the effeminate man.

"I THOUGHT WE THREW YOU OFFA PIER!" The Gruesome Twosome shouted.

"You did. Hello Uzumaki-san…Sasuke." Itachi snarled the last part.

"What th' HEY are you doin' here?" Naruto yelled, "Don't TELL me you haven't given up tryna kill Sasuke!"

"No, I haven't." Itachi said mildly, "But I'm not here for him at the moment."

"Oh so?" Sasuke sneered, "And WHO, pray tell, are you here for then?"

"We went through this five seconds ago." Kei-Iruka sighed.

"Uzumaki-san, of course." Itachi said composedly, striding towards her.

"Kuh…Kuh…K-K-K-K-KEEP AWAY FROM ME!" Hotaru shrieked angrily, ducking behind a royally pissed off Hajime.

"One warnin'…" Hajime snarled, cracking his knuckles loudly, "Touch'er…andjer dead."

Itachi stopped dead in his tracks, regarding Hajime coldly…

…then smirked.

"Uzumaki-teme…you win today." He sneered, "But don't think for a instant that I've given up on you, Uzumaki-san."

The look on his face was so reminiscent of MJ that it sent shivers up and down Hotaru's spine.

"I'll be seeing you, later, Uzumaki-san." He nodded, "And you as well…little brother."

He sneered the last part.

He exited the pub.

"Oh…My…GAWD!" Hotaru howled, "This…SUCKS! HOW in the HELL do I ALWAYS end up with the CRAZED, PSYCHOTIC STALKERS? HOW?"

"Just lucky I guess." Kazune-Kakashi said cheerfully.

"SHUT-UP!"

(A/N: Itachi begins his plan to "Win Hotaru Over". Will it work? Or will she be more repelled than ever? R&R)