Whumptober 2021
Summary: Whumptober 2021: Day Fifteen: Regret. Marco/Ace. Ace is left devastated as Marco confesses a secret to him.
Author's Note: Hey everyone and welcome back to Whumptober 2021! I plan on finishing out the challenge before the end of the year. This was originally a Shanks snippet, but I said screw it and made it Ace. I hope you enjoy.
If you've seen Glee, you'll recognize the beginning!
Warnings: Infidelity
Pairings: Marco/Portgas D. Ace, Thatch/Izou
Whumptober 2021: Day Fifteen: Regret (Marco/Ace)
The silence between them was tense. Almost too tense. Ace bit down on his lip as the two of them walked. Just ahead of them was Thatch and Izou, the two other Commanders conversing together. They looked just as tense as Ace felt in that moment. It had been so long since they had seen each other. After the war happened and Ace had received his near fatal injury, he had been under the protection of the Red Hair Pirates, recovering on an island in Shanks' control. It had been so long since him and Marco had actually been together. Even the months before when he had originally left the Moby Dick.
His boots were hitting the wet ground below him as he looked at his feet rather than looking up. Something was wrong. He didn't know what it was. Looking through the corner of his eye over to Marco, he could see the pained look in his eye. One that he was not used to seeing. "Marco—"
"I really missed you." Marco muttered.
Ace felt the smile come to his face as he started to pick at his nails, tucking some of his hair out of his face. "I missed you too." He replied, sighing as he dropped his hands to his side, pulling his shirt closer to his body. "It's been really great having you here… but," He paused as he sucked in a deep breath. "You've been weirdly emotional. Sad." He stopped as he turned to face the blonde. "Please stop pretending like there's nothing wrong."
That pained look on Marco's face only got worse as he stopped walking, turning to face Shanks. "I was with someone."
Ace felt like his entire world was crumbling around him as the air caught in his throat. "Was it one of our nakama?" Ace questioned, feeling the mixture of the hurt and anger going through him as tears pooled in his eyes.
Marco shook his head. "No, it wasn't... It didn't mean anything. It was just a hook up, okay?" There were tears glistening in Marco's eyes just the same as his own.
Ace felt like he couldn't even breathe anymore. "Who was it then?" He felt the anger flaring through him by the second. How could he be so blind?
Marco sighed. "I needed you. I needed you and you weren't there… and I was… I was lonely." He paused as his voice cracked, trying to blink away the tears as he added, "And, I'm really sorry."
Ace didn't even know how to feel anymore. What emotion he should feel more. "And you don't think I haven't been lonely? You don't think I haven't had temptations?!" He choked again as he raised his hand, "But I didn't act on it because I knew what it meant." He stopped as the sob broke from his throat as the tears spilled over his eyes. "Then something horrible and awful would happen…" He couldn't even speak anymore as he placed a hand over his mouth. The tears stinging his eyes as he looked at the regret that was written all over Marco's face. He should have known. He should have known his own mistakes of leaving his home would lead to something. Something like this.
He never deserved Marco's love in the first place.
How could he have been so blind to it all.
Was he just living in a fantasy this entire time?
"I'm so sorry, Ace." Marco muttered. Ace couldn't listen anymore as he turned on his heel and started to walk away.
He was heaving as he rushed off, not daring to look back to see Marco looking right back at him. Through everything that had happened. Ace, somehow, miraculously surviving Marineford. Living in complete secrecy to hide the fact he was still alive. It had been an agreement between Shanks and Whitebeard that the Whitebeard Pirates stayed away from the island he was on until he was fully recovered, just to make sure no attention was drawn to the location. He still got to see his nakama, being snuck onto the island by Shanks himself.
This entire time, Marco had been lying to him.
Did Marco ever truly love him?
He choked on the cry that had formed in his throat as he took off back into the direction of the house that he had been set up in. He was getting closer to being able to leave the island and return back to the Whitebeard Pirates.
Not now. He couldn't.
Not after this.
Marco had proven as much.
He wasn't worth it.
He wasn't worth Marco's love. If the man ever loved him to begin with. Who could love someone like him? The blood that ran through his veins was tainted. He couldn't stop the feeling that he had deserved this exactly for the very reason that he had left.
Somehow, Thatch had managed to survive his stab wound. Surprising Teach at Marineford with showing that he was indeed still alive. They had lost so many nakama because of the decision that Ace had made. A war breaking out for his very life. He had almost lost his brother if it hadn't been for Trafalgar Law.
He couldn't return to the Whitebeard Pirates. Not after this. He wasn't even sure if he could face Marco. This was all his fault. Just cementing the idea that he never should have been with him in the first place.
He had lost everything.
He didn't have a home anymore.
He didn't have his family.
That had all been ripped away from him.
Through his anger, he stormed into the house, grabbing all the pictures he had, ripping them from the walls. Taking special care in burning those that had Marco's face in them. The hurt and the anger flooding through him by the second. Scorch marks were covering the walls now as he continued. The tears clouding his vision.
He broke out into a fit of cries as he slammed his back into the wall, biting down on his lip to try and quiet himself as he slid down it. Hands in his hair as he muttered, "It's all my fault."