Authors Notes: Soz it took so long, but I've been a bit preoccupied. Things in my life went haywire for a day or so there and my friend stayed over for awhile because of some family stuff, so I admit I've been skipping the writing. Forgive this authoress!
Plus, its been somewhere maybe close to a year. Yes I know, that doesn't constitute much time but hey, it's my story lol. Hope you guys like it.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything except my original characters.And the plot.
Falls On Me
Chapter 20
"Oh Kami! Mama!" Kagome exclaimed, dropping the cat to the floor as she rushed towards her mother's prone form. The cat screeched and ran up the stairs.
"Mama? Mama wake up!" Kagome shouted as she shook her mother.
"Kagome?" A new voice asked. Kagome turned and saw her brother staring at her as if he too, was looking at a ghost.
"Souta, something's wrong with mama!" Kagome wailed, tears pouring from her eyes.
"No, Kagome, I'm fine," her mother's voice said feebly. Kagome looked back down at her mother's face and sobbed openly, grateful her mother was alright.
"Mama, I'm sorry I stayed away so long, but everything just got so messed up and I couldn't," Kagome told her. Mrs. Higurashi smiled at her daughter and stood on shaky legs with Kagome's help. Then she surprised Kagome by embracing her tightly.
"It's alright; you can explain everything over dinner. Souta, don't you want to give your sister a hug?" Mrs. Higurashi asked.
No more words were said as Souta flew to hug his sister.
"So you're saying Inu Yasha wouldn't bring you here?" Mrs. Higurashi asked as Kagome wolfed down oden.
"Yes, but it's alright. My marriage to him was annulled," Kagome said.
"They annulled marriages back then?" Mrs. Higurashi asked, somewhat confused.
"Well, it's kind of a special case. Because I'm human and have a human's lifespan, I need to have someone who can guard the jewel after I'm gone, and the council saw that fact. It turns out that I'm not barren! Inu Yasha is sterile, so they annulled my marriage to him for that reason technically, but Okibi, who is really nice, didn't like how he was treating me," Kagome told her mother.
"Dear, what about those conditions you mentioned earlier though?" Mrs. Higurashi asked, referring to when Kagome had first mentioned not being married, on one condition.
"I have one month to find another husband or the council will pick one for me," Kagome sighed.
"What! That's so unfair!" Souta shouted.
"I know, but its life," Kagome told him.
"Kagome, what if you just don't go back?" Mrs. Higurashi asked.
"I can't do that mama. Believe me, if I could stay here forever, I would. But there's two little children waiting for me. They adopted me instead of me adopting them, and I love them both. I can't betray them like that," Kagome said sadly.
"I see. How long are you going to be staying this time?"
"I have a week. Mama, I swear no matter what happens I will find a way to come visit more often, I swear it on everything I am," Kagome said in a heated voice.
"Kagome, we love you, and I understand why you haven't come to visit before now. But if you marry another man, how can you be sure he won't be like Inu Yasha?" Mrs. Higurashi asked.
"Mama, I have a choice now. And even if I can't marry a man I love, I'll marry a man who's kind," Kagome assured.
"Kagome?" Souta asked.
"Yeah?"
"Do you want to go to the amusement park with me tomorrow?" He asked.
"Sure Souta," Kagome told him with a smile.
As it got later, grandpa and Souta both went to bed as Kagome and her mother cleaned up. Mrs. Higurashi watched her daughter's sure movements. How different she seemed, though not at all like a beaten woman would be, at least in her mind. What had changed her daughter from the anxious girl into the confident young woman she saw before her?
"Kagome, you skimmed over details when Souta was around, but I caught that Inu Yasha hurt you in several ways, both emotionally and physically, is that why you are so happy to have your marriage annulled?" Mrs. Higurashi asked as she poured some coffee into two mugs.
"I don't know mama. I think that maybe I loved the man I thought he was, not who he really was beneath it all. When I realized that, I cried for the loss of a dream, but it'll be okay. I have another dream now," Kagome sighed as they walked into the living room and she sat in the armchair and Mrs. Higurashi sat on the sofa.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, it's something, well, please don't look down on me for this mother. But there's a man in the feudal era, and he seems so cold and indifferent, but I don't think it's true, not really anyways. And one night, he did something to help me get away from Inu Yasha. And then he kept helping, and then we kissed. Oh mama, I know it sounds bad because I was still technically married to Inu Yasha! But Inu Yasha had taken someone as a mistress and I felt so alone! But then things got out of hand," Kagome trailed off.
"Did you two make love?" Mrs. Higurashi asked solemnly. She honestly couldn't look down on her daughter for her actions. Maybe if Inu Yasha had been a kinder husband, she would have, but he had not. In fact, Mrs. Higurashi understood perfectly why Kagome had sought comfort with another man.
"No, but we…" Kagome blushed.
"I see. Kagome, I don't blame you for your actions. Actually, to be perfectly honest, you knew that after your father died I sought comfort in alcohol, but I also had a male friend. I know what's it's like to be lonely. And I can't say I can totally understand your situation, but I understand why you wanted to find someone who made you feel alive," Mrs. Higurashi stated.
Kagome only looked at her mother in shock. There had been another man after her father?
"Who was he?" Kagome asked in a low voice.
"Do you remember Mr. Zenigata?" Ms. Higurashi asked.
"My teacher?" Kagome exclaimed.
"Yes, I know, it sounds bad. But if you remember, his wife had died around the same time, and well, it was something like a comfort relationship for the both of us. After a time we moved on," Mrs. Higurashi finished.
"So you were never interested in a long term relationship with him?" Kagome asked.
"No, in fact, we didn't really have too much of a relationship. To be brutally honest, we were using each other to get past our grief. In the end it was agreed we would always be friends, but nothing more," Mrs. Higurashi finished.
"That's so sad," Kagome murmured.
"Not at all. We're still friends to this day," Mrs. Higurashi told her daughter.
"But don't you ever want to marry again, find someone that you love?" Kagome asked.
"Not really. I loved your father and he loved me, and it's enough to get me through the rest of my life," Mrs. Higurashi told her daughter. "But you, it seems like you've never experienced true love, at least not with Inu Yasha."
"Mama, what if you loved someone, who refused to love you back?" Kagome asked in shaky whisper. Her mother heard the sobs being held at bay within that whisper.
"I'd do whatever I could to win their love," Mrs. Higurashi answered.
"What if they can't love anyone?"
"Everyone can love someone. But for some people, it's hard. Maybe something happened to him to hurt him so much that he built a wall around his heart, and he's scared to let that wall down," The older woman said.
"Okibi, she said that his mother killed herself, because his father wouldn't love her like she loved him," Kagome said.
"Perhaps he's scared of becoming his mother, of being hurt. If you had seen that, wouldn't you be scared of love? It's a wonderful and scary thing Kagome, to love someone. If you love them, you give yourself to them, and sadly, it's not always accepted. Even if you move on, that person will always have a piece of your heart, no matter how much you may love another person. Sometimes, we give everything we are to that person, and if it's not accepted, we die inside," Mrs. Higurashi told her daughter, who by now was crying silently.
"What if I give him everything I am, and he doesn't see it?" Kagome asked. "What if he's too scared to try and give me anything back?"
"Kagome, you're one of the strongest people I know. Not every girl could have gone back and fourth between her age and another, fought demons, and survived a bad marriage. I know that if you're strong enough to do that, you could break the wall around this man's heart," The older woman finished. Kagome got up from the armchair and walked over to the couch and sat down next to her mother. Mrs. Higurashi embraced her daughter tightly.
"What's this man's name Kagome?" Mrs. Higurashi asked several minutes later.
"Sesshoumaru. He's Inu Yasha's older brother. I guess my life's one huge soap opera huh?" Kagome hiccupped.
"Kagome, Sesshoumaru is the one who helped you out, right?" Mrs. Higurashi asked solemnly.
"Yes mama."
"And he kissed you?"
"Yes."
"Then he's not as unaffected as you think. Like I said, maybe he's scared."
Kagome couldn't picture the powerful taiyoukai scared of anything. In fact, the idea of him being scared of something like love…It was so insane that it actually made sense in a twisted sort of way. And the idea of him being scared of something like love made him seem vulnerable to her. And she knew her mother was right. Sesshoumaru would never want to be vulnerable to anything or anyone.
"Love gives people power of you, doesn't it?" Kagome asked.
"Yes dear. Sometimes people use that for good, sometimes for bad. But in all honesty, it's never the right thing to do, using something so important as love like that."
"Maybe he's scared of letting someone have power over him," Kagome thought aloud.
"I'm pretty sure you're right. From when you were here, you used to tell us little things about him. He sounded like a powerful man, used to being in control. And you can't control love. That's why it's so scary."
The thought of Sesshoumaru actually being scared of something…It made him a little more endearing. Granted she would never say something like that aloud. Well, not to him anyways. But now, after talking with her mother, he seemed a little more human, in a sense anyways.
"Mama?"
"Yes, dear?"
"Thank you."
"You're welcome sweetie."
And they fell asleep on the couch like that for the first time in several years. Her mother reflected on how Kagome had slept, curled up next her when she had been a little girl with nightmares. And she was happy that no matter how old her little girl got, that she would still need her mother.
Sesshoumaru woke up in a bad mood the day after Kagome had left. He had burned so much incense in his bedroom and study to give him a headache, but it had gotten rid of the lingering traces of Kagome's scent. The same couldn't be said of his personal bathhouse. It was almost as if the wood and stones had absorbed her scent!
"Sesshoumaru?" Okibi asked.
"What?"
"Ah, testy today I see. I wanted to ask you something," Okibi said in a sweet tone. Instantly he was on guard. The last time Okibi had been overly sweet to him he had ended up in the bathhouse with Kagome.
"Perhaps."
"Well, I've been thinking, and since Inu Yasha will be going to my lands to be watched for signs the seal on his youkai blood is breaking, wouldn't it be better to have a powerful youkai there just in case he broke the seal?" Okibi asked.
"Okibi, breaking that seal is almost impossible. If he did manage to do it, the stress to his body would kill him. And he'd have to realize he had any youkai blood to want to break the seal, and since we've altered his memory, he won't remember."
"You're right," Okibi sighed.
"What do you want Okibi?"
"Anei."
"Aren't you already mated?" He asked with a raised brow.
"I'll ignore that comment. No, I need him to help me escort and watch Inu Yasha," Okibi said.
"Okibi, it's been said you have a very gifted army at your disposal. I'm sure you could spare a few to watch Inu Yasha."
"But none of them have dealt with Inu Yasha!" She snapped.
"Okibi, does this have to do with Anei wishing to court Kagome?"
No answer. Sesshoumaru sighed and looked the older woman square in the eyes.
"Okibi, Anei will court her if he wishes to. Do not interfere. Only Kagome can make the choice of who she will mate to," Sesshoumaru told her.
"But she wants you!" Okibi snapped. Sesshoumaru wanted to laugh.
"Okibi, she didn't really want me. I realized I was just something to the equivalent of her fairy tale youkai prince. I saved her, and she viewed me as someone to cling to. It was infatuation, nothing more," Sesshoumaru sated.
His eyes widened at the stream of explicit words that came from her mouth after his statement.
"You're a fool Sesshoumaru," Okibi muttered as she began to walk away.
Sesshoumaru sighed and decided that his study would be the best place to go for the day, especially since he wanted to avoid everyone in general. But unfortunately, his study door was being repaired from where Okibi had destroyed it.
"The bedroom it is," he muttered, preparing for his headache to get even worse.
"Souta, you seem really quiet today," Kagome said as she walked through the amusement park with her brother. Fall was close, and there were only a few people there.
"I don't know. It's strange for you to be back. Mom told everyone you were going to an exclusive hospital for you illnesses and everything, but most people just assumed you were dying. And over time I even believed that you had died. But now you're back, and there's so much stuff I always wanted to tell you, but now it just seems really stupid," Souta mumbled.
"Oh Souta, it's not stupid, I know it isn't. Besides, I'd like to know what's been going on," Kagome told him.
"It all seems really boring compared to you and your life though," Souta grumbled.
"Souta, first off, when the abnormal is present everyday, normal stuff is welcome, believe me. I've missed you so much, and everything about this place," Kagome told him. She took his hand and they walked to a vendor and got some cotton candy, then munched on it.
"It's just awkward."
"I know," Kagome sighed. Several minutes passed in silence.
"Hey, want to ride the roller coasters until we puke?" Souta asked.
"Sounds good to me!" Kagome laughed.
"Race you to the Twisting Ninja!" Souta shouted as he took off. Kagome laughed and chased after him towards the biggest coaster in the park.
Three hours later the two siblings weaved through the crowd, their stomachs still going through the loops and turns of the roller coaster.
"We haven't puked yet," Souta told her.
"Please have mercy!" She begged in a joking tone as they sat down. Souta chuckled and Kagome reflected on how much taller he had gotten and how his voice had changed just a little bit. If only she could stay…
""Kagome?" Souta asked.
"Yeah?"
"Do you think I could come to the feudal era with you on vacations? Like summer break and stuff?" Souta asked.
"I'm not exactly sure that would be okay with mom," Kagome began.
"I'm sure she would let me Kagome!" Souta begged.
"What about Sesshoumaru? I'm not sure he would allow it. And after I remarry, I'm not sure my husband will allow it," Kagome told him honestly.
"Then you shouldn't marry a guy like that," Souta told her bluntly.
Kagome giggled and ruffled his hair. "You're right, I shouldn't marry someone who wouldn't let my adorable little brother visit."
"I'm not adorable," He muttered.
"Okay then, my handsome brother, that better?" Kagome asked.
He preened and she laughed at his antics.
"Come on, there's still a few coasters we haven't ridden yet," Kagome said, tugging him off the bench and heading for the next one, all the while musing over his statement. Maybe she should find a husband like that. One who would let her visit her time and let Souta visit. Surely a man that was kind enough to let her do that would never hurt her.
But admittedly, she was thinking over her mother's words. If Sesshoumaru really was scared of love, she had less than a month to convince him not to be scared. And that was if she really wanted to do it. And she did. She knew in her heart she had to try.
She loved him.
Authors End Notes: I got a date this Friday. And it is awesome. So is the guy for that matter. I'll shut up now. #smiles#